Authors Note: OKay, I don't really like this fanfic to much, it's a little to sappy for my blood but a friend of mine really wanted me to post it. This has been on my computer for over a year now and I just finnished revising it so there shouldn't be to many errors.
Part One
She sat idly on her bed trying not to think. She knew he was near. The tingling in her spine had started about an hour ago. The feeling was telling her that he’d be here soon, and meaning she would have to tell him when he arrived... but how? How do you break to someone this kind of news? It wasn’t just something you could come right out and say. And how did he always know when she needed him most? Anytime she was ever in any sort of trouble he’d come to her rescue, her white knight, and then just disappear into the darkness once again.
His fingers reached out and brushed a strand of hair from her face. As her eyes slowly lifted she saw him. Just as he always would, he never changed. Those deep brown eyes and gorgeous complexion would stay with him until the end of time. He sat down next to her causing her legs to uncurl beneath her. The tense corded muscles that ran through her body began to relax at the mere presence of him. Taking her hand, he brushed a kiss across her knuckles, not once taking his eyes off her.
“You okay?” he asked. She smiled to herself. Still the same Angel, using the least amount of words possible and yet saying so much. Slowly she leaned into him and his arms wrapped around her. Then silence. They both sat there, unmoving, just holding each other.
How was she going to tell him this? It wasn’t something that happened every day. Vampires and slayers weren’t even supposed to fall in love. The job description was very clear. See vampire, kill vampire, then move onto the next one. Where had she gone wrong? When did the line between good and evil become so hazy to her? Leaning her head on his shoulder she sighed. If possible, his grip around her grew tighter. “I’m so scared Angel.”
“Of what?” he whispered
“Of what’s to come, what I’m going to tell you. How you’ll react.” She tried to bury her head into the crook of his neck, not wanting to see his reaction to her words.
“You can tell me anything.” Tears slowly began to trickle down her face. Anything? “Shh… it’s ok, whatever it is, its ok. I’m here… shh… its ok, its ok.” He mumbled to her. He slowly pulled her into his lap and rubbed the small of her back. Her face buried into his shoulder deeper, letting the tear fall free for the first time since she found out.
As her sobs resided he lifted her body away from his to look at her tear stained face. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing.” She whispered.
“It has to be something to get you this upset.”
Hesitating slightly, she lifted her head to meet his. As much as she wanted too, she couldn’t hide from this. “I’m pregnant.”
The world stopped. The two lovers looked at each other in silence. Her holding her breath, him trying to understand what had just happened.
“What?” he breathed.
She crawled off of his lap and looked down at her hands not being able to take in the rest of the confusion and fear that was written on his face. “I’m pregnant.” She repeated.
“Who…? What…? Who is the… who is the father?”
“You.” It was an answer barely even audible. An answer filled with so much fear, so much guilt.
“Me? But… but how?” He sputtered
“When we met in the middle after I came back, we had…”
“I know what we did Buffy.” Anger laced his words. “I just meant… well you know I can’t.”
She took a deep breath. “I went to the doctors today. He said that I was about a month along. A month ago is when we…”
“Well, there must be some sort of mistake!” He cried. Standing up immediately he started to pace the room. “What about before then?”
“Before then I was dead.” She snapped. Hearing the denial in his words brought out the anger that always came out of fear “Look, I’m not asking you for anything. I just thought you should know that you’re going to be a father.”
Angel took a deep breath running a hand through his spiky locks. “I’ll move back down here. I could live in the mansion again and…”
“No.” she said, not believing that that word had just come out of her mouth. “I’m not going to have you back just because you feel responsible. You’re not going to stay here just because we have a kid together. I don’t want that, and I don’t want that for the baby.”
“Buffy,” he moved back toward her, his expression softening right away. Realizing what he had been saying to her slapped him in the face. He didn’t want her to think that he was coming back just because of the baby. It was one of the main reasons yes, but she would need help, and he loved her more then anything. To have Buffy say that the child was his… theirs was unbelievable yes. But he wanted it more then anything in this world. The one thing that he thought would never come true finally had. He was going to be a father. “I want to be involved.”
“And you can be. You can visit, or I can visit you. I just… I would always feel guilty for keeping you here. From keeping you from the people in L.A.”
“Buffy…”
“Don’t Angel. Don’t try to make this right because you can’t. I don’t want you back here. You belong in LA.”
“I belong here with you… with my child!” He looked at her incredulously.
Silently she looked down at her hands. A silver claddagh ring had once lied there. It once meant the world to her, it meant that she was loved and she belonged to somebody. She would give anything just to go back there. Just to be that seventeen year old girl who couldn’t see anything else in her future besides the man she loved. Turning her head upwards she looked that same man directly in the eyes. “If I wasn’t pregnant, would you come back here?”
Angel just gaped at her. He truly didn’t know the answer. There wasn’t a day that went by were he didn’t think about just hoping in his car and coming home. But he had left her for a reason. “Buffy, that’s different…”
“You better go.” She cut him off. Tears were starting to form in her eyes again and she didn’t want him to see her cry over him. Not again.
He continued to look at her. What she said wasn’t advice, it was an order. She didn’t want him in her house, and most likely in her life. Nor the babies for that matter. Not knowing what else to do, he slowly climbed back out the window, disappearing into the night.
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