Disclaimer: "Buffy" belongs to Joss Whedon. "Name" belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls.
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Part One
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Taking the name 'Nicole' had been an impulse more than anything. A friend back in LA had once commented that once she was old enough, she should change her name, as the name Buffy was such an oddity.
Buffy figured this might be her only chance to do so.
She wasn't entirely sure what had prompted her to leave this time. Thankfully not the same as last time. If there was one thing Buffy was sure of, it was that she would never, ever be able to go through that again. And although nothing ever could, for her, equal the pain she had endured last year, circumstances back in Sunnydale had definitely gotten more than a little crazy.
No surprise there, of course. On the Hellmouth, normality was far from being...well, normal.
But all the same, it wasn't as bad as it had been before. And because she had no intention of causing her family and friends as much pain as the last time, they knew she was leaving. No one, particularly her mother, had been happy about it, but at least they wouldn't think her dead. Surprisingly, Giles had understood that she needed to escape for a little while. Right now, supernatural activity on the Hellmouth was at what seemed an all-time low, so Giles had assured her that between him and the Scooby gang, they'd have it more than under control. Of all of them, only Giles, she felt, truly understood what she was going through. He, too, had been betrayed - though not in the same way as she - by someone he loved, and then had them taken away entirely. But this was the second time Angel had been lost to her - and this time of his own accord, which both soothed and pained her. Easier to know that she hadn't damned him to an eternity in Hell, but so hard to know that he had chosen to leave her. Her mind knew what her heart never would - he had left to make it easier on them both. Buffy had no doubt whatsoever that he still loved her, but the knowledge helped little. Even thinking of him now, Buffy found it hard to breathe, and harder not to cry. Biting her lip, she looked up at a tap on her hand.
"D'ya want anything to eat?" inquired Buffy's new acquaintance.
"Ummm...." she paused, not yet entirely aware, "can I get a salad or something?"
Jordan smiled at her. "No prob."
Their food arrived moments later, Jordan with a cheeseburger, potato chips, and a chocolate malt, and she with a salad and the Coke she had bought earlier. Buffy smiled slightly at the sight of her companion's food, reminding her of Xander. She studied him from across the table. He seemed friendly enough, and it was daylight, so there was no chance of him being a vampire sent to kill her - thankfully. He really was pretty cute, and it would be a shame to have to stake him. Especially his eyes. In the past few years, she had learned to read people somewhat. Angel certainly wasn't the most talkative vampire in the world, and his eyes had always been the clearest view of his emotions. She sighed and swallowed a bite of lettuce.
She could drown in those eyes.
Buffy told herself. She went back to studying Jordan. He had blonde hair, and his eyes were dark brown, and had the puppy-dog look to them. He looked, to her, like the type that wasn't likely to pry. All the better.
They knew she was gone, but they didn't know where to find her. And anonymity was the only way to keep that from happening.
He looked up then, and their eyes locked. He grinned at her, and Buffy, caught off guard, gave him a half-smile in return. "Deep thoughts?" he questioned.
"Very," she replied wryly. "Deep and miserable." She picked at her salad. The lettuce was a little brown around the edges, definitely. She grinned, and reached across the table to snatch one of Jordan's chips.
"Hey!" he said indignantly. "I don't think so!" But he, too, was grinning.
* * *
Willow sat and stared at her blank computer screen.
She couldn't believe how bored she was.
Buffy had left - again. Xander, too, had decided to get a 'feel for the road'.
And she had to face the fact that without the two of them, life on the Hellmouth was amazingly boring. Since the Ascension a few weeks ago, Willow had seen exactly two vampires.
Two.
So she, Oz, and Giles easily had it covered.
And as of right now, her greatest challenge was figuring out how to turn Amy human again.
Willow sighed dejectedly as she looked at the small white rat in the cage. "Poor Amy," she murmured. The only spells she could think of that might help had failed, and, the last time she tried, managed to burn a neat hole in her carpet. Nobody had noticed, and she doubted they would. After all, her parents were still too busy wigging from Willow's decision to attend the community college. And the fact that she was dating a musician.
Willow smiled at the thought of Oz. The Dingoes had been playing at the Bronze tonight, and Oz had been smiling at her the whole time. She reached for the Pez witch in its sacred spot near her computer. She loved Oz, she did. No question about it. But Willow sometimes wondered, even now, what would have happened with she and Xander if Oz hadn't come into the picture. Then she felt guilty for even wondering.
Lusting after Xander had been a hard habit to break, mainly because she didn't want to.
Willow had had to, though. If she hadn't, she and Oz would never have gotten back together. she thought, fingering the little Pez dispenser.
Now all she needed to find was a Pez-wolf.
* * *
It hurt.
Still.
A month later, and the wound was still raw. Fresh. And easily infected.
Any memory.
Any young blonde woman he saw in the streets made him remember.
Made it hurt.
The pain in her eyes had been unbearable for him. But it's the last time, he had promised himself. I'll never hurt her again.
But part of him prayed to whoever would listen to a tortured vampire that she would remember him.
But at the same time his only wish was for her to forget.
They had shared so much pain, so much heart-wrenching agony, that he wanted her to forget.
But to him, all the pain, the hurt, the anger, had been worth it.
She had been the only sunlight in a life that always had been, and was doomed to forever be, swathed in darkness.
He knew that until eternity was over and he could finally find peace - or until he gave in to the true sunlight - he would regret leaving.
He would *never* love somebody that much again.
He didn't even want to.
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