Vampire Central
Spike, Dru, and Angelus were sitting at the table in the center of the abandoned warehouse they called home. All three were trying not to stare at the newcomer, and it was proving increasingly difficult. Finally, Spike broke the silence: "So, what is it you're after again, friend?"
"The Golden Hind," growled an exasperated Bacchus. "Hind's blood can kill gods."
"Hate to break it to you---um, 'Bacchus'," said Angelus, who was less willing than the others to believe the horned god's story, "but we have no hinds here. Gods either, really, at least not in the Olympian sense. Looks like you miscalculated when you left home."
"Then I will correct the error." Bacchus picked up the chronos stone.
"Wait, wait, not so hasty!" Spike was no fool; on the off chance that the hunk of rock Bacchus carried had any power, he wasn't about to let it go. Spike wheeled closer to Bacchus. "You may as well make use of your visit to the future. Aren't you the least bit curious as to what happened to your enemies? What history says about you?" Spike looked to Drusilla, who picked up his cue.
"Oh, yes," purred the vampiress, "you are death incarnate." She traced her fingers across Bacchus' horns, "You are legend."
Angelus merely rolled his eyes when he noticed that Bacchus was falling for Spike and Dru's transparent ploy. Still, the idea that he could travel through time--kill the gypsy who cursed him *before* it happened; kill Buffy over and over and over--it was enough to make him almost giddy. He figured he could be a sycophant if that was what it took. Besides, with the chronos stone, he could kill Spike himself. Or maybe it was more fun to torture him in his crippled state--that was a question that required some serious thought. Angelus sighed and turned his attention back to the "dynamic duo."
"Okay, lovefest over," he snapped, drawing Dru away from Bacchus. "Look Bacchus, we have some mutual problems. You have a pesky warrior princess and assorted sidekicks on your back, and I've got the entire Scooby Gang to deal with. Why don't we take care of each other's problems? You can see your progeny in action, then be on your way. After all, time is not a problem for you, right?"
Angelus smiled conspiratorially and clapped Bacchus on the back. "In fact, we might have such a good time killing all these irritating people that we may decide to repeat it a few times, just to vary the ways they die!" Bacchus looked stunned as he realized for the first time the implications of the chronos stone, then he smiled.
"Your proposal--sounds good," said the wine god. "When do we begin?"
"Now's good," came a voice from the door, as Buffy entered, stake poised.
"No," said Bacchus, raising the chronos stone, "I think earlier would be better. Angelus, Drusilla? Touch the stone. I'm feeling inspired!" With that, the three vampires disappeared, leaving a very angry Slayer *and* a very angry Spike in their wake.
* * *
The Cemetery - earlier that night - call it deja vu.......
"Fools!" said the god, drawing himself up to his full height.
"MASTER!" cried the vampires in unison, dropping to their knees.
"More bacchae" snarled Xena, drawing her sword. "Get ready for a fight!"
"Wait a minute," said Autolycus, counting on his fingers, "those two weren't with us when we lef---oof!" Angelus pounced, knocking the thief off balance. Joxer and Gabrielle stood back to back, holding Drusilla at bay as best they could. The other vampires, encouraged by the appearance of Angelus and Dru, began to encircle the duo.
Meanwhile, Xena's whole attention was engaged by Bacchus, who stood casually before her, leaning on a tombstone and tossing the chronos stone from hand to hand. "You know," said the wine god with a smirk, "this is absolutely the best time I've had in centuries. And I'm sober! I'll get to kill you and your friends, then go back and do it again. This feels great!"
Bacchus' loud roaring laugh drew Angelus' attention from Autolycus long enough for the King of Thieves to get to his grappling hook and into a tree to regroup. Growling, Angelus got to his feet and started toward the tree, muttering about what happens when gods loosen up as he went.
"Enjoy the sensation while you can, Bacchus," said Xena. "I think it'll prove pretty short-lived." With a yell, she launched herself at the wine god.
For once, Buffy was too stupefied to move. There was a giant who looked like the Master being attacked by a leather wearing woman who seemed able to defy gravity. Add to that Peter Pan in the tree and the Willow/Xanderesque duo in peril to the left, and the Slayer was fairly flummoxed. "Focus, Buffy," she told herself, and went to work on Drusilla's little group. The three lesser vamps were easily dispatched, and Dru, finding herself outnumbered, backed toward the tree where Angelus was.
Xena, meanwhile, was attempting to get the chronos stone away from Bacchus, and drive a dryad bone through his heart. Neither objective was easily accomplished, as the wine god seemed more interested in taunting the warrior than in actually fighting. Finally, she got him cornered between a mausoleum and the graveyard wall.
"Okay Bacchus, you're going down," Xena muttered, moving in for the kill.
"You really don't think you'll get to me before I use this, do you?" asked Bacchus, holding the stone aloft. Xena stopped her advance.
"See, Xena, I've already used it once. You and your friends had gotten together with that pesky blonde vampire slayer, and were about to attack us, so I just made an adjustment, and 'poof!' Here we are!"
Xena considered for a moment. Bacchus had arrived with two strange bacchae, and he seemed to know about the strange blonde girl who had appeared as the fight began. Inwardly, she sighed. Any advantage they'd had due to Bacchus' ignorance was gone. And since they were at the mercy of his time manipulations, they would have no memories of alternate timelines. She thought frantically--how to get the chronos stone?
A familiar laugh rang through the graveyard as Autolycus swooped down from above, snatching the stone from Bacchus' hand. "Gotcha!" yelled the thief. "You can never get the best of Autolycus, King of Thie--ack!" There was a crashing, crunching noise, as Autolycus miscalculated the distance between the top of the cemetery gate and the top of the mausoleum, and fell to the sidewalk in a heap. Xena headed Bacchus off, threatening him with sword and dryad bone as she manuevered closer to Autolycus. The wine god looked around for help, but Angelus and Dru were also being held at bay with stakes, staffs, and swords. With a growl, Bacchus withdrew, as did Angelus and Dru. Xena let them go, figuring that one objective accomplished was better than none. At least now they had control of the timeline.
"Autolycus, are you okay?" Xena focused on the prone figure, who was rubbing his head and groaning.
"That really hurt. What do they make roads out of here, anyway? There's no give to this stuff." He rapped his knuckles on the concrete sidewalk, then yelped and put them in his mouth.
Buffy and the others ran up. "Looks like our vamp friends took their toys and went home," said the Slayer. "Anyone here mind telling me what that was all about? And why you're wearing what you're wearing? Are you in a band?"
Xena ignored her, and hauled Autolycus to his feet. "The stone, Autolycus. Where's the chronos stone?"
The thief smiled. "Right here, o leathery one," he said, opening his hand to reveal the chronos stone--which promptly split into two perfectly symmetrical pieces and fell open in his palm. "Not again!" Autolycus exclaimed in disbelief.
"Oh, great!" said Gabrielle, summing up everyone's feelings.
"Yoo-hoo! Hey, freaky people!" The four travellers turned to face the petite Slayer, who looked very angry. "Remember me? Make vampires go 'poof?' Darkness equals vampires? Is this ringing a bell? You're coming with me, you're bringing your precious rock, and we're getting to the bottom of this. Are we clear?" Buffy pointed in the direction she wanted them to travel and then started off at a fairly rapid pace.
Not even Xena felt inclined to protest, and they followed Buffy silently.
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