Willow ran around the apartment in a whirl of activity. She gathered various unmentionables and put them away. She dusted, vacuumed, and fluffed pillows. Xander was coming! She felt guilty for being so excited. Wasn't she supposed to feel this way about Jason? She finally collapsed on the couch as she admitted that she'd been lying to herself. She would never love anyone the way she loved Xander. With her whole heart and soul. She remembered reading each of his letters over and over again. He'd said so many things in them. Things she had yearned to hear for fifteen years. He said loved her. He said all he needed was her. How miserable he was without her. How he needed her to believe that he meant what he said when he'd confessed his love on the camping trip. Even now it all seemed so surreal. Xander could not possibly love her. He'd ignored her for years. Viewed her only as a buddy, a best friend. She was sure Xander was confusing his feelings for her with deep friendship. But what if he wasn't? the small voice of hope inside her head reasoned.
She plumped the couch pillows furiously to make the voice go away until she finally heard voices in the hallway. Xander was here! Her heart hammered loudly in her chest and blood roared in her ears. She'd missed him. God help her, she had missed him both as a friend, and something more. She still couldn't let go. She'd tried. She tried to love Jason. Up until today, she thought she had almost succeeded. One look at Xander's face made her realize just how completely she had failed.
He half-smiled as he looked at Willow. She was so beautiful. Her hair shone in the setting sunlight from the window behind her. Her cheeks were slightly flushed as if she'd been doing something physical a few moments before. And then she smiled at him. His heart exploded. He moved forward and gathered her into his arms.
Willow hugged him back, knowing in that instant that she wouldn't be able to ever let go. She would love Xander forever. It was silly of her to kid herself. And it was wrong of her to pretend to both herself and Jason that she could ever love anyone else. She sighed, her heart breaking slightly as she realized that because she loved him, she couldn't let him continue his charade. He believed right now in his heart that he loved her. And he would feel that way until some other girl came along and stole his attention. She'd seen the pattern in Xander for years. She would have to save him from himself. She would have to prove to Xander this weekend that he didn't really love her. That she was still his friend and he didn't need to pretend to love her to have her in his life.
Xander backed up a little and presented her with the flowers. "Uh, these are for you."
"You mean for me and Cordelia," she corrected, accepting them with a slightly pained smile.
Xander's mouth gaped open once or twice and he turned to Cordy for help. She had disappeared with his bags. "No, Will, just you."
She flushed slightly and looked at the floor. "I'll just go put these in water." She rushed from the room.
Great Harris. Scare her on the first try. He raked his hand through his hair and looked to the ceiling. He would never survive this weekend. He spent the next few moments praying to whatever benevolent God who would listen that things improved. Cordy returned to the room, a small encouraging smile on her face. "How'd it go?"
"Oh, same old, same old," Xander joked weakly.
"You still have three days," Cordelia pointed out. "Hey Will!" She said more loudly as she saw her friend return. Willow was carrying a vase with the flowers, and she set them on the coffee table and fussed with them for a moment before looking at either of them.
"Well, guys, how about we celebrate this mini-reunion with dinner out?" Cordy suggested.
"Sure!" Willow smiled brightly, glad for a neutral topic.
"I feel like pizza," Cordy said.
Xander seconded her motion quickly. Cordelia went to get her purse. Soon all three of them were riding in the elevator down to the car.
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