Typical disclaimer, don't copy, send feedback. (Geez, I get tired of writing these things! Get on with the story already!)
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Part Fourteen
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OUT OF THE DARK AND INTO THE LIGHT
The sunlight outside the train station seemed alien after weeks of darkness. Buffy squinted her eyes against its brightness, feeling it tingling on her skin. She could actually feel her eyes adjusting to the lighting, so different from when she'd been mortal. . . when she'd been human.
The train ride had been tedious, she'd barely gotten any sleep and she doubted she would get any on the train out of Italy. Her mind wandered, plagued by her doubts but she was unwilling to think about them. Instead, she'd left her thoughts to go where they pleased, so long as they didn't betray her and lead back to the apartment in Rome. Back to the understanding that waited there, back to the comfort, back to the love that would have unwittingly destroyed everything that was her. No, she would not go back, she'd made her decision already, she wasn't change her mind.
And now that decision had led her far from Rome, heading towards France. Beyond that, she had no idea where she would go or what she would end up doing. Buffy knew she was smart, though she hadn't exactly excelled in school the past couple of years, but that had more to do with slaying than her brain power. It was hard to concentrate on algebra when you'd been up the entire night saving the entire world, again. Buffy knew she could make a place for herself somewhere. After all, she'd survived as a Slayer fighting immortals, now she was an immortal! It should be a piece of cake.
The irony of her situation nearly brought a smile to her lips, but it was too soon to smile, even a bitter one. She, once a Slayer, now a half-vampire, in love with a vampire with a soul, yet she had just left his loving arms and ventured into a much crueler and confusing world. It made no sense, it went against everything ever written in history, but from the moment she'd met Angel they had rewritten history to suit their purposes.
Buffy's eyes blurred over with unshed tears as she stared straight ahead, ignoring the people rushing past her bench. All she could see was Angel. Angel when he'd found her in the Anointed One's lair, Angel when he'd stopped her from staking herself, persuading her that she didn't deserve to die. Angel on the plane, gently kissing her palm, Angel waking her in the morning by soothingly caressing her face. Angel gallantly giving her that red rose she'd left behind on the bed, Angel sleeping soundly in the dark, his beautiful face half hidden in shadows and his hard chest a welcoming pillow. Angel fighting in the warehouse, bloody and bruised, battling like a tiger to keep her safe.
Angel holding her, comforting her, understanding her and believing in her the way no one else did. Angel kissing her, hugging her, smiling at her, guiding her and at all times, loving her.
Buffy's throat tightened as she thought of what it would be like to not wake up in the morning knowing he was only a step away if she needed him. She didn't want to leave, had no desire to go. In fact, every fiber of her heart told her to stay, but she knew that if she did, she would be killing her spirit and that was something she refused to do.
She'd been through a lot in an amazingly short time. Not only the recent events with the Anointed One and then Kalith, but also over the past year or so. She remembered the disbelief she'd felt when Merrick had first told her about her birthright, and the mind-numbing terror when she'd seen her first vampire. That feeling had been much like the one she'd felt after the Anointed One had changed her. Her entire world had come crashing down around her and all her defenses crumbled to her feet.
Her parent's divorce had shocked and angered her, though she'd learned to shove that to the back of her mind. Buffy had felt utterly betrayed that she had been expelled for burning down the school gym. That her parents actually thought she would do that, for no good reason, had been a rude wake up call for her. Moving had also caused her a lot of pain, but it had been softened by her new friends, Xander Harris, Willow Rosenburg and even Rupert Giles. . .
Though she hadn't exactly been ecstatic to see him, Giles had grown on her during their time as Slayer and Watcher and he had helped her get through a lot. Sure, he could be pushy and stiff and was totally ignorant about the female American teenage mind, but he was also loyal and honorable and trustworthy, plus he'd been way understanding about Angel.
Angel. The name dragged Buffy back to the present just in time for her to see her train pull up in front of her. People immediately formed a large line in front of her and Buffy let her mind drift again while waiting to board.
Her thought's naturally dragged her back to Angel again and Buffy shook them away angrily, reminding herself sharply that she would never see him again. she whispered back, She felt a small bubble of hope building up inside of her and she grasped the thought as if it were a lifeline that would keep her from drowning. she thought to herself.
Her heart began to lift itself out of her shoe and make its way back into her chest. She was right, she could feel it.
Buffy brushed her hair gamely out of her eyes and stepped on to the train, moving out of the doorway. She chose a seat next to the window and settled back for a long, long ride. A man in a uniform walked up to her, and held out his hand for her ticket. She handed it to him, and he smiled, sensing she wasn't a European. "Getting away from it all, Mademoiselle?"
Buffy stared up him for a moment, then a small, not quite bitter smile managed to spread itself across her face. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
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