Cordelia sat in her car. She had been parked in front of what was left of the high school for almost an hour now ever since leaving the hospital. She wiped a few stray tears from her eyes. Then taking a deep breath she turned on ignition of her car. The radio came on as she pulled away from the school and began to head for the high way. On the radio Beth Hart's new song “L. A. Song” was playing. And Cordelia found herself lost in the words and music of the beautiful song.
* * *
She hangs around
The boulevard
She's a local girl
With local scars
She got home late
She got home late
She drank so hard
The bottle ached
And she tried
And she tried
And she tried
And she tried
But nothings clear
In a bar full of lies
So she takes
And she takes
She takes
And she takes
She understands
When she gives
It away
She says
‘Man I gotta get outta this town
Man I gotta get outta this pain
Man I gotta get outta this town
Out of this town and out of L. A.
* * *
A tear slid down Cordelia's face as she turned a corner she could see the on ramp for the highway now. Soon she would be out of Sunnydale. She let out a sigh as the car came to a stop at the stoplight. She waited for the light to change as the song continued. And she thought about all the fights her parents had been having. How her life had completely changed. And how now she was no longer sure of anything.
* * *
She's got a gun
She's got a gun
She got a gun
She calls the
Lucky one
She left a note
By the phone
Don't leave a message
Cause this ain't a home.
And she cried
And she cried
And she cried
And she cried
She cried so long
Her tears ran dry
Then she laughed
And she laughed
She laughed
And she laughed
Cause she knew
She was never
Coming back
She says
‘Man I gonna get outta this town
Man I gonna get outta this pain
Man I gonna get outta this town
Out of this town and out of L. A.
* * *
The light then changed and Cordelia drove her car onto the on ramp of the highway. Her mind drifted back to times when things had been happy. She smiled as she remembered how her and Xander first kissed. Sure her life was in danger because of a psycho bug man cosmetics salesman but she still longed for how some things had been less complicated then. And the song continued.
* * *
It's all she knows
It's all she hates
It's all too much for her to take
She can't be sure just where it ends
Or where the good life begins
So she took a train
She took a train
To a little old town
Without a name
She met a man
He took her in
But he feed her all
The same bullshit again
Cause he lied
And he lied
He lied
And he lied
He lied
Like a salesman
Selling flowers
So she screamed
And she screamed
And she screamed
And she screamed
It's a different place
But the same old thing
* * *
Cordelia's car continued down the dark highway. Her eyes filled with tears. She remembered how hurt she had felt finding Xander with Willow. She had felt so betrayed and so heart broken. She let go of the steering wheel with one hand and wiped her eyes again. And then she thought about seeing him there in the hospital hurt. She had wanted to hold his hand. To smile at him when he woke up. And she didn't understand why. After all he had put her through she still cared about him. Then she had seen Buffy with him. She knew it was innocent. It was Buffy after all. She pined for Angel not Xander Harris. But Cordelia had still felt jealously. And as her mind continued to wonder the song continued to play its final verse.
* * *
It's all I know
It's all I hate
It's all too much for me to take
Can't be sure where it begins
Or if the good life lies within
So she said
‘Man I gotta get outta this town
You know I gotta get back on that train
Man I gotta get outta this town
I'm outta my pain so I'm going back to L. A.
Back to L. A.
Back to L. A.
I'm going back to L. A.
I'm going back to L. A.
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