*DISCLAIMER* I do not own any of the characters in this story, although they have been twisted for my own use. I apologize profusely to Joss Whedon for my butchering of his creation. Buffy The Vampire Slayer is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. Wow, that's a mouthful!
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Part One
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Sunnydale, or as it is lovingly called, the Hellmouth. Most of its residents are blissfully unaware of all the weird stuff that goes on here. They don't believe in monsters, and they're going to stay that way. Me, well I do believe in the monsters. I know they're real. I've seen it all, vampires, demons, werewolves, inhabited ventriloquist dummies, you name it. I know that the monster under your bed is really there. I'm Buffy Summers, Private Eye. It was your normal night in Sunnydale. Well, scratch that, it was as normal a night could ever be when you live on top of the Hellmouth. I was sitting at my desk as usual when we're waiting for a case. And not wanting to waste any time, I was sharpening a wooden stake. You don't know how many times I've been attacked and had to improvise.
* * *
Xander Harris, my partner, was busy reading some travel brochures. He's a decent guy. A bit naive really when it comes to vamps, but he can take care of himself. Good thing too. I can't be expected to babysit someone. Besides, I'm terrible with little kids.
"Hey Buff," Xander said looking up from the brochures. "Wouldn't it be nice to go on vacation?"
"Where'd we go?"
"Oh, I dunno. Somewhere with a warm beach where the sun shines all day, and there isn't anything that goes bump in the night to disturb our evenings."
"I don't think a place like that exists."
"Maybe it's just cause of you. I mean, it's like they follow you around."
"Xander, people like me don't get a vacation."
"Yeah, guess you're right, still it'd be nice."
He continued to pour himself over the brochures, losing himself in places we'd probably never get to go. It's too bad really, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
It had started to rain about an hour ago, and by this time it was really coming down. Lighting flashed, illuminating our small office, then the thunder crashed so loud that Xander jumped out of his chair and fell to the floor.
"For my next trick," Xander muttered as he stood back up. It was just about then that there was a knock on our door. The suddenness of it sent Xander back to the ground.
I put my stake in the shoulder holder. The holder is really handy. It can keep several stakes ready for me, and it's not as bulky as a bag.
Xander finally got back to his feet and opened the door. He was blocking my view, but from the sounds that were coming from his mouth, I could tell that our customer was a female, and probably a very attractive one. As Xander moved backwards, I saw I was right. She looked like the kind of girl that was used to getting her own way. You know the type, a real "Daddy's girl." She was dressed in the latest fashion, and her dark hair was styled. Oh yeah, I hated her already.
"Humina, humina, humina," Xander mumbled. He wasn't going to be any help. That was when I saw that the girl wasn't alone. A young man was following her into the office, and suddenly I found that my vocabulary suddenly became nonexistent. He was the kind of guy that could make any girl melt, and melting I was. He had soulful dark eyes, and a chiseled face.
"Hello," the girl said, in a rather unpleasant voice, somewhat like nails on a chalkboard, only more irritating. "You going to stare all day or help me out?"
Composure, composure was key. I wasn't going to impress anyone with drool running down my chin.
"Right, help you out. That's our job. And just exactly how can we help you miss...?" I asked, grateful that I still could make sense.
"Cordelia Chase."
"Of the Chase Department stores fame?" I asked. This could mean beaucoup bucks.
"Who else? Of course. And I need you to help me get back something that was stolen from my family, the Orb of Krakerax."
"Cracker Jacks?" Xander said, apparently finding his voice as well. "I love that snack food. The prizes are starting to get cheap though."
"Not Cracker Jacks you moron, Krakerax," Miss Chase said with exasperation. Oh yeah, her I did not like. Sure Xander could be a little dense sometimes, but no one calls him moron but me. He may be a moron, but he's my moron.
"So what's up with this Krakerax?" I asked, trying not to let my anger show in my voice.
"What do you mean?"
"Does it have powers or something?"
"What are you talking about? Of course not, it's just worth a lot of money and I want it back!"
"Actually, the Orb of Krakerax is very powerful." He talked, the mystery guy finally talked. And boy oh boy did his voice match his looks. Deep and almost musical. Focus Buffy, gotta focus.
"You don't say," I said. See I could focus.
"It's the reason I'm here. I think it's fallen into the wrong hands. But I'm not sure. It has to be destroyed."
"Are you crazy?" Miss Chase said. "That thing is worth a lot of money and I want it back. It's mine and you can't destroy it. Anyway, I was here first, so she's my private eye."
"Whoa!" I stood up. "Firstly I'm not anyone's private eye, I'm my own girl. And secondly, I can't in good conscience hand over something powerful to you. After all, you let it get stolen in the first place. We'll work it this way. I'll look for this Orb, and while I'm looking, I'll find out all I can about it. If this guy's right...hey, you didn't give us your name."
"Angel." Angel, oh yeah, that fit, this guy had to have come from heaven.
"Okay, if Angel's right, then it'll be destroyed."
"You can't..."
"If it's decided that this thing isn't much of a threat, then you'll get it back. If you can't agree on that, then you'll have to find yourself another private eye, but I gotta warn you, I'm the best."
The little princess glared at me. But when it all came down to it, she didn't really have a choice.
"Fine," she finally said. "We'll do it your way."
"Good for you too Angel?"
"Yeah. Anyway you want."
Ye gods don't tempt me.
"Good. Then we're off to The Bronze."
"Excuse me? I've just hired you to retrieve the Orb of Krakerax and we're going to go clubbing?"
"That's where we'll meet my informant. Don't act so upset Miss Chase, you seem like the type of person who would enjoy going to The Bronze. You can even go dance if you really want. Don't let me force you into work."
"Oh, okay. Let's go then."
Oh yeah, I could tell, she was going to be fun.
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