Disclaimer: Buffy and company belong to Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers. I'm just borrowing them.
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Part One
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"So how do you think she's doing?" asked Willow as she watched Buffy fight with two vampires in the clearing of the park.
"Oh, I'd say the vamps have about five minutes left to live," replied Oz.
"Yeah, she's getting slow in her old age, isn't she?" commented Xander.
"Hopefully this will be the last batch in the park," said Willow. "We've been here for what...two hours?"
"And seven vampires," added Oz.
"Those two will make nine," said Willow.
Just then Xander heard a low growl behind him. "And that one behind me will make ten," said Xander as he bolted away from his friends towards Buffy.
"Xander!" screamed Willow as the vampire chased after him.
"Buffy!" yelled Xander as he ran past her with the vamp in hot pursuit. Buffy punched the vampire in front of her, side kicked the one behind her and tossed a stake at the one running after Xander, dusting him. In spite of this, Xander continued to run into a grove of trees oblivious to the fact he'd just been saved.
Xander continued running for another hundred yards or so before he finally realized he was no longer in danger. He stood still for a second to catch breath and took a moment to take in the scenery. The moon was bright tonight and it cast a good deal of light into the small grove he'd wandered into. He noticed a sparkle out of the corner of his eye and walked towards it. His eyes widened as he gazed upon a fabulous rose bush. The roses seemed to be sparkling. Curious, Xander broke one off the bush and held it up to the moonlight. He smiled as he hid it in his pocket and raced back to find his friends.
* * *
The street lights cast an eerie light on the sidewalk as Buffy and Xander walked home from the park. It was quiet in the late hours of night except for the meowing of a cat in the distance and the rattling or a can as it blew across the road, but the Slayer and her friend paid little attention to them.
"Hey Buff, I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on something,” said Xander.
"On what?" asked Buffy.
"On this," said Xander as he pulled a tiny golden rose out of his pocket by the stem. He handed it to Buffy.
"Wow."
"It's for Cordelia. Do you think she'll like it?"
"Xander, it's beautiful," said Buffy as she gently fingered the delicate petals. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it in the park. There were a bunch of them there."
"It looks so real."
"I know. Someone must have sprayed the whole bush gold."
"You'll have to show me where you got this tomorrow. I'd like one."
"Well, why don't you take this one?"
"What? No. I, I couldn't. That's Cordy's rose."
"Not yet. I'll just pick her up a new one tomorrow on my way to school."
"You sure about this?"
"Positive. Besides, it's better this way. Now she won't have a day old rose. It'll be fresh off the bush."
"Good point. I mean, a day old rose would be so yesterday and Cordy is such a today kind of girl.”
They reached the driveway to Xander's house and stopped for a moment. "I'll see you tomorrow," said Xander. "We'll do that school thing."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Not really a good one, but a plan none the less."
She smiled. "See ya and thanks for the rose," said Buffy as she walked down the street towards her house.
Xander’s father walked out of the garage as Xander walked towards the house. “Dad, what are you still doing up?” asked Xander.
"I’m watching a movie and I ran out of beer inside. Thought I had a stash out here your mother didn’t dump down the drain. Who was that you were talking to anyway?" asked Mr. Harris.
"Buffy."
"Buffy? You really think you should let her go home in the dark by herself? Some mugger might try to hurt her. Aren't you worried?"
"Sure, but she lives all the way down the street and if I walked her home I'd have to walk all the way back here," said Xander. As Xander's father walked into the house shaking his head in disgust at his son's apparent lack of concern, Xander softly added, "Poor muggers."
* * *
"Wake up honey, time to go to school," heard Xander as he groaned softly and rolled over in his bed. He went to look at his alarm clock on the stand on the right side of his bed and realized that it wasn't there. He figured he could use that as an excuse for being late and pulled the covers over his head.
"Come on! We're going to be late!" repeated the voice that had woken him.
*Wait a minute...* thought Xander as he listened closer.
"Buffy! What's taking you so long!"
"Ms. Summers?" said Xander softly as he took the blankets off his head and looked around his surroundings. "Oh my God, I'm in Buffy's room! No, check that. I'm in Buffy's bed! Was I drunk or something? Am I dreaming? That's it! I'm dreaming! I'll wake up any minute now and..." He heard footsteps coming up the stairway. "Oh God. She's gonna kill me. I'm gonna die right here."
The door opened and Joyce walked into the bedroom. "Well?" asked Joyce as she looked at Xander.
"Look, I know what this must look like, but I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all this," babbled Xander under Joyce's icy stare.
"Oh really? I think I've got a pretty good idea what's going on here."
"You do?"
"Yes, but honestly I thought you'd have more sense than this."
"Look I don't even know why I'm..."
"Save it, okay? I don't need to hear you're excuses. You were out too late and now you're too tired to go to school. I told you to come home right after you were finished patrolling and you went to the Bronze afterwards, didn't you? Destiny is one thing, but partying afterward is another. This is why you have such a hard time absorbing what they teach you at school, Buffy."
"Buffy, where?" asked Xander as he scanned the room.
"Very funny. Now you have ten minutes to get downstairs young lady or you're walking," said Joyce as she left the room.
Xander got out of bed and felt a draft. He looked at his clothes and realized he was wearing a short blue nightgown and two other familiar items that didn't belong to him. He started to breathe heavy. He ran over to the closet mirror and looked into it. His body shuddered at the sight he saw there and then he fainted.
* * *
Willow was rummaging through her locker looking for a textbook when she heard a familiar voice call her name.
“Xander, hi,” welcomed Willow as she put her head further into her locker to look for the missing book.
“Actually Will, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“But I haven’t said anything yet."
"I know, but listen. I'm not Xander. I'm Buffy."
Willow took her head out of the locker. "Stop being silly Xander."
"Will, I'm serious. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened."
"If you're Buffy, then what did we talk about yesterday in the bathroom during fourth period?"
"We talked about Oz."
"That's a gimme. What else did we talk about? I mean something obscure and unimportant."
"My lipstick. Remember? I thought the cherry red would look good on you at first, but we decided to go with the peach instead."
"That's right...Buffy?"
"Yes, I knew I could count on you."
"W, well how did this happen?"
"I don't know. I just woke up this morning and I was a man."
"You can't imagine how long we've been waiting for that to happen Xander," taunted Cordelia as she walked towards Buffy and Willow.
"Cordelia!" exclaimed Buffy. "Look, this isn't a good time."
"When is it ever a good time?" responded Cordelia. "I'll just be a minute. I've got some news I want to share with you." She wrapped her arms around Buffy's neck.
"Cordy, we really shouldn't..." said Buffy who was cut off as Cordelia put her hand in front of her mouth.
"Just listen for a minute. I made reservations at that French restaurant I always want to go to, but that you're always too cheap to take me to and we're going to it Friday night."
"That's great Cordy, but I'm not..." said Buffy.
"Xander, would you let me finish. My parents are going to be gone for the weekend, so I was thinking that after dinner we might..." Cordelia gave Buffy a deep kiss on the lips.
Buffy jumped away from Cordelia. "Look Cordelia, I'm not Xander!"
"What do you mean?" asked Cordelia.
"Buffy is in Xander's body. We haven't seen Buffy's body yet, but I got a pretty good idea who's in it," said Willow.
"Xander this is not getting you out of going to that restaurant!" warned Cordelia.
"Xander is not here, alright? I am Buffy. You know, the vampire slayer," said Buffy.
"Oh my God, you're serious," said Cordelia. That means...how could you let me kiss you!"
"I tried to tell you, but you..."
"Well, you should have tried harder! And you could have at least tried to pretend you didn't like it so much! I...I just can't believe you would do this to me!" exclaimed Cordelia as she stomped away.
"Let me get this straight. She wouldn't let me talk, she kissed me and it's my fault?" asked Buffy.
"You're obviously in a man's body," replied Willow.
* * *
"You failed again," said the man in the chair as a pair of vampires stood in front of him. He wore a black tank top and a matching pair of pants. He sat patiently, but his strong frame gave him a menacing aura all the same.
"The Slayer interfered Glynn," said the larger vampire.
"Yes. She is quite formidable, but she doesn't realize what she's been preventing. It's just been bad timing," said Glynn.
"We can try again tonight," said the larger vampire.
"That's not necessary. I've decided to take matters into my own hands," said Glynn. "You are free to leave after sunset. If I have need of your services again I shall seek you out."
“Now wait just a minute! You promised you’d give us power if we helped you!” said the smaller vampire.
“I’m giving you the power to leave,” replied Glynn.
“Is that a threat?” asked the small vampire as he bared his teeth. “We’re not frightened of you. We’ve lost a large portion of our forces on this venture and we demand some kind of compensation!”
Glynn stood up from his chair, raised his arms to the sky and the vampires were hurled through a nearby window by some unknown force. Shards of broken glass crunched beneath his shoes as he walked towards the window. He glanced at the vampires as they burned to nothing in the brilliant light of the noon sun. Glynn drew the shades to the window. “You’ve been compensated,” he said. He ran his hands through his hair as he closed his eyes and whispered, "No more bungling. I’ll have it soon, I promise." He walked out the door.
* * *
"So how long have you been like this?" asked Giles as he carefully looked at his pupil in the library.
"Since I woke up," replied Buffy.
"And we still have no idea where Xander is?" asked Giles.
As Giles said this one of the library doors flew off its hinges through the air and crashed in the middle of the library. Buffy jumped from her chair and grabbed a stake off the library table as she raced for the entrance, but she quickly dropped her guard as she realized who had thrown the door.
"Hey Xander," greeted Buffy as Xander walked into the room with a huge blush on his face.
"What's the big idea with throwing that door? You scared us out of our wits!" complained Cordelia.
"Look this body is tricky," explained Xander. "I've broke three door knobs, the handle to Buffy's mother's jeep door and now this."
"Yes, I suppose Slayer powers would be difficult to handle for an ordinary person," said Giles.
"So how is Mom taking it Xander?" asked Buffy.
"Not too bad considering," answered Xander. "She went to work after I convinced her there was nothing she could do to help. Now I just need you to convince me there's something we can do to help."
"Of course. I was just thinking about it and as I recall there has been one other instance of people switching bodies here in Sunnydale," said Giles.
"That's right!" exclaimed Willow. "Amy and her mom traded bodies once," said Willow.
"It's a place to start. We should talk to Amy," said Buffy.
"You can do that from your class," sneered an evil voice from the library entrance.
"Principal Snyder, I was just about to excuse them. You see they were helping me..." began Giles.
"Save it," commanded Snyder as he inspected the broken door in the middle of the room. "What the Hell happened to this?"
"Um, termites?" answered Willow.
"Termites? Do you really think I can slip that one past the school board again?"
"Well I..." began Willow.
"Forget it Rosenburg," silenced Snyder as he turned to Giles. "Coach Foster has been looking for these little ill bred trouble makers for the last half hour."
"Hey! Who's he calling little?" whispered Oz to Willow.
"Now you are to report to gym class right now and stay there for the remainder of the period," directed Snyder.
"Gym class? You mean the class where we get sweaty and have to take showers together?" asked Xander. He pondered this for a moment and then walked towards Snyder. "You sir, are a saint."
"Get out of my face Summers," replied Snyder.
"You're absolutely right. I've wasted far too much time here," said Xander as he walked out the library doors.
"Oh no you don't," said Cordelia as she ran beside him. "You're already seeing every intimate part of your wonderful Slayer!"
"Hey, I didn't ask for this!"
"Admit it Xander, this is some sick wet dream of yours willed into reality!" said Cordelia as the rest of the group followed them down the halls.
"Your point being?"
"You never dream about me."
"Sure I do. That's what nightmares are for," joked Xander as he wrapped his arm around Cordelia's waist.
"Xander no," said Cordelia sternly as she broke away from him.
"Oh come on Cordy, I was just kidding."
"That's not it."
"Then what is?"
"God, what do you think Xander? I am more than willing to date a loser, but I am not going to be seen cuddling up to another woman."
"Fine! I don't want to touch you either!"
"Great!"
"Fine!"
"You already said that!"
"Guys!" interrupted Buffy. "We're here. Xander, you talk to Amy when she comes out of the locker room after gym class, okay?"
"Better yet, why don't I go in the locker room while she's changing? It'll save time," said Xander.
"Because I'm waiting with you," warned Cordelia.
"Hey, wait a..." began Xander.
"Fine Cordy," interrupted Buffy. "Keep my body out of trouble. We'll meet you in the library afterwards."
"Assuming little Hitler doesn't get in our way again," added Oz.
* * *
The boy walked through the grove in his bare feet with a confident stride as he approached the edge of the park. He was a lean lad who wore only a simple pair of brown pants and a curious silver amulet cast in the shape of a lion around his neck. His skin held a dark tan and though he had a slim frame, his stomach and arms were well toned. Suddenly he stopped and cocked his head towards a tree next to him. He walked around it and found a fox yelping in agony. As he came closer he realized that the fox’s leg was caught in a bear trap. He reached out to touch the animal and as his hand reached the fox’s nose it dissipated into mist.
Suddenly from behind him came a hand with a rag around it that covered his mouth and nose as another hand grabbed him tightly around the waist. Vile smelling contents had been infused into the rag and the boy could feel himself loosing consciousness as he breathed. He struggled violently to get away, but his physical strength was failing him and he was proving no match for the attacker. He closed his hands into fists and roots from the nearby trees broke through the ground and started to wrap themselves around the boy’s attacker. After a moment the roots ignited into flames and fell to the ground in a brilliant blaze. The boy slowly closed his eyes and his body went limp. His attacker dropped the rag and delicately lifted the amulet from the boy’s body. He then set the boy down to the ground and walked away.
* * *
God, what's taking her so long?" asked Cordelia as she leaned on the wall next to the locker room entrance.
"I'll go in and check," said Xander. As he started to enter the locker room he bumped into Amy exiting.
"Amy! Buffy was just looking for you, weren't you Buffy?" said Cordelia as she pulled Xander back into the hallway.
"Uh, yeah," said Xander.
"Oh really? Why?" asked Amy. She rummaged through her bag and frowned. "Shoot, I forgot my book on the bench in the locker room. I need for my open book test next period."
"I'll get it, you just talk to Xander...I mean Buffy," said Cordelia.
"So what is it?" asked Amy.
"It's like this..." Xander suddenly stopped, sighed deeply and started again. "Look Amy, I was considering a way to tastefully present my question to you without you knowing it. But I can't, so have you been using any of that voodoo that you do lately. Maybe have some problems with a spell. Cast it in the wrong place or maybe cast someone you know into the wrong body?"
"No, I haven't cast any spells for a while."
"Really?"
"Well, not anything major. Just little stuff like using a spell to make the teacher think I handed in my homework when I forget to do it."
"Right, like that day I caught you doing that."
"You saw me do that? When?"
"Never mind. So no body switch spells then?"
"No way. I'd never put anyone through what I went through."
"Of course. Sorry to bother you Amy. You wouldn't have any ideas who would be casting that kind of spell do you?"
"No."
"Well, thanks anyway Amy," said Xander as Cordelia walked out of the locker room with a red book in her hand.
"A Midsummer Night's Dream, that's it right?" said Cordelia as she handed Amy the book.
"Yeah, thanks," replied Amy.
"Come on Cordelia, let's go break the bad news," said Xander as he started to walk away.
Amy looked at her book and shouted, "Hey Buffy!"
Xander turned around. "Yeah?"
"It's silly, but my grandmother once told me this story about a fairy who switched an evil king’s mind into peasant body as a way to punish him. Since my mother was a witch, maybe my grandmother knew some stuff too."
"Thanks Amy. I'll run it by Giles," said Xander.
"Who switched bodies anyway?" asked Amy.
"Um, Cordy and Oz," answered Xander.
"Hey!" shouted Cordelia in protest.
"Thanks again!" said Xander as he swiftly left for the library with Cordelia yelling close behind.
Buffy walked towards them as they entered the library and asked, "So what did you find out?"
"Amy didn't do it, but she did say something about fairies," explained Xander.
"Fairies? Then that's a good," said Willow.
"How so?" asked Oz.
"I've read some stuff about fairies. There are some similarities between their magic and witch magic. They can mess with people in some unique ways," explained Willow.
"And the good part?" asked Xander.
"The good part is fairy magic usually isn't permanent when it concerns humans. It's just entertainment for the fairies. This will last a year tops," explained Willow.
"So let me get this straight. We're the butt end of some stupid fairy joke?" asked Xander.
"Basically," confirmed Giles.
"Boy, those fairies must be falling out of their chairs by now," said Oz.
"And this could last for a whole year!" exclaimed Cordelia frantically. We've got to find a way to get them back to normal...or at least as close to it as they were before."
"Agreed," said Giles. "Buffy can't possibly carry out her duties in Xander's body without putting herself at risk and Xander lacks the training that makes one an effective Slayer."
"So your saying even in a woman's body I'm not man enough to be the Slayer?" asked Xander. "I'm insulted."
"So how do we get the fairies to take this off?" asked Oz.
"A spell of this nature generally originates from some kind of object enchanted by the fairies. Have either of you stumbled across something out of the ordinary lately?” asked Giles.
“Um...Nope,” said Xander as he glanced at Cordelia. “Can’t say that we have. Next question please.”
“Xander! This is not the time to worry about that,” scorned Buffy.
“Oh fine, tell them,” pouted Xander.
“Xander found a gold rose in the park,” said Buffy.
“Gold. It’s a typical lure for humans. Quite an effective one usually. Well, that explains why Xander is like this, but why are you?" asked Giles.
"He, uh, he gave it to me," answered Buffy.
"You gave her a golden rose, Xander?" asked Cordelia.
"I was going to go back and get you one, but I was a little distracted this morning, okay?" said Xander.
"We need you to take us back to where you found that rose, Xander," said Giles. "Perhaps we can appeal to the fairies who did this to you."
"But fairies don't like to deal with humans, Giles. They think we're barbarians or something," said Willow.
"You're right, but we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it," replied Giles.
"But what if the bridge is broken?" asked Oz.
"Then we find another one," replied Giles. "Now let's go."
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