Disclaimer: Do I make money from this? Not at all. Spike, Dru and Miss Edith belong to Joss, blah, blah, blah... All other characters belong to their Real Life counterparts... I just hope they don't mind that I borrowed them. :-) Princess the dingo belongs to Little Willow, the Happiness Princess.
Author's note: No dingoes were actually harmed in the writing of this story, and will be returned to their owners at the end of the fic.
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Part Two
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Phrriinngg!! The telephone woke Little Willow out of her daydream. "Wha.. oh, the phone... " She yawned, then picked up the receiver. "Hello?
"Is this Little Willow?" The voice at the other end of the line spoke with a British accent. Little Willow thought it sounded familiar, but couldn't quite place it.
"Yes, this is she. May I ask who is calling?"
"This is Spike."
Spike?! What's he calling her for? And how did he get this number?! "Umm... hi, Spike," she nervously replied.
He must have sensed her apprehension. "Don't worry, love. I'm not calling for take-out. We have your dingo. Wait, let me rephrase that. I don't have your dingo. Dru does."
"Princess? Is she okay? Did you eat her?" Little Willow sat up on her bed, worried about her precious dingo.
"Eat her? You must be kidding." Spike shuddered at the thought of dingo blood as a meal. "I don't even like the looks of her." He shook his head slightly. "Anyway, I want to return the dingo to you."
"You want to give Princess back? What's the catch?" The Happiness Princess didn't trust him for a minute. She knew there was no way that he would simply return Princess without asking for something in return.
Spike laughed on the other end of the line. He liked how she caught on so quickly. "That's my girl. I give you your dingo and you help me get in touch with the Society for Dingo Advancement."
"The SDA?" Little Willow was confused. What would a vampire want to know about the SDA?
"You heard right. See, Dru wants her very own dingo. I told her that you would pull some strings and help her out."
"And why would I do Dru a favor?"
"Because if you don't, you'll never see your beloved Princess again."
"Good point... I'm listening." Little Willow couldn't bear to lose her dingo, and would do anything to get her back.
"It's quite easy, really. All you have to do is arrange for a dingo to show up at our doorstep. A nice, new dingo, with a bow or something on it. You send us one, and I'll have one of my guys return your pet in one piece."
"Fine. Let me talk to Hilary and Belmont, and I'll get back to you. Call me back in a few hours. And if you lay one finger on Princess..."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Don't worry. I'm not going to go near that, that creature." He saw that Dru returned, playing with Princess in the cage. Grinning, he said, "It's Dru that you should be worried about. And if you want to see your dingo again, you better hurry... Dru's taken a liking to your pet." He hung the phone up, and rolled over to the vampiress and her playmate.
"What are you up to, love?"
"Princess and I are having a tea party with Miss Edith. Would you like to join us?" Drusilla held out a teacup and saucer. Spike looked into the cage, and saw Miss Edith in there as well. She was blindfolded, with Princess the dingo sniffing at her shoes.
"No thanks, my pet. I think I'll just leave the three of you to your little party. What is that blasted creature doing?"
Dru turned to look at the cage. "Princess! Grr... Bad Princess! Leave Miss Edith alone," she scolded the dingo. Taking a key from her pocket, she unlocked the cage and removed the doll. "I'm sorry, Miss Edith. Princess was being rude, weren't you?" She glared at the animal, growling ever so slightly.
Spike shook his head. "You shouldn't leave your dolls in the cage with an animal, baby. You never know what could happen to them. Anyway, I just talked to Little Willow. She's contacting the SDA, and who knows? You may have your very own dingo in a matter of hours."
Drusilla clapped her hands. "My dingo! I can't wait! Did you hear, Miss Edith?"
* * *
The phone rang just once before Little Willow picked up it up. "Spike?"
"How'd you guess, love?" He chuckled into the phone. The vampire could just picture the girl sitting by the phone, anxiously awaiting news of her pet. "Do you have Dru's dingo?"
"Yes." Thank goodness Hilary and Belmont agreed to waive membership rules just this once. There was no reason for another dingo to get hurt again. Little Willow remembered when RD ate his dingo about a month ago. She couldn't bear for Princess to meet the same fate. "When do we make the exchange?"
"Right to the point. I like that." He thought for a moment. "Come to the warehouse with the dingo. Knock 3 times on the door. You give me the dingo, and I give you Princess back. Fair enough?"
"How do I know that you'll give her back? And that I won't be harmed if I show up?" Little Willow wasn't about to take any chances when it comes to her life, and that of her dingo's.
"You have my word."
"I don't trust your words, Spike."
He sighed into the phone. "Listen, I promise I won't touch a hair on you or your damn pet. You're a friend of Anya's, right? Well, if I hurt you and she finds out, then she's gonna want revenge. And I really don't want to see her mad. The Fanfic Archive means more to me than a meal or two. So, you're free and clear."
Little Willow smiled. It seemed like everyone is addicted to fanfic, even the vampires. "All right. I'll be there in an hour."
* * *
She only knocked twice before the door opened. Spike himself answered the door. He smiled at Little Willow, then looked at her two companions standing beside her. "You've brought friends? The more the merrier."
"You didn't think I was going to come here by myself did you?"
"Perhaps." The vampire looked faintly amused. "Would you care to introduce us?"
"Spike, meet Kinetic and Duffy." She gestured to the boy on her left, then the girl to her right.
"A pleasure." Spike observed that they were both armed with crosses and stakes. "And you came prepared, as well," he gestured to the weaponry. "Hmm... Kinetic... now why does that name sound familiar?"
"Kinetic's a fanfic writer," Duffy replied confidently. She thought that Spike looked less scary in person than on televeision. "Perhaps you've read some of his work. The Substance of Evil, The Bad Influence, Killing in the Name of..."
"Oh!" Spike looked at the boy with newfound respect. "I have read some of your work. Excellent pieces... I must say my favorite so far is Fatality. I loved the plot to that one. A wonderful pleasure to meet you."
Kinetic nodded, smiling slightly. Someone who actually thought his fics were pretty good. Granted, it was a vampire—Spike, no less—but still someone that enjoyed the gruesome scenarios in his stories. "Likewise. But, if you don't mind, about the dingo issue... "
"That's right." He had almost forgotten the real reason why these three humans were here. Rolling his wheelchair backwards, he said, "Please, come in. And bring Dru's little baby as well."
Little Willow was the first to enter the warehouse, the small furry animal in her arms. Duffy followed, with Kinetic right behind her. Spike lead them to the center of the room.
Drusilla was sitting on a chair, the small cage in front of her. "Sing for Dru, Princess... If you sing, I'll give a cracker," she said softly to the captive dingo.
"Dru, love. We have guests." The vampiress looked up, slightly startled. She relaxed slightly when she saw it was just three mortals.
"Are they for me, Spike? Appetizer, main course, and dessert?"
He laughed. "Sorry, my pet. This one here," he gestured to the girl standing next to him, "this is Little Willow... Princess's owner. The others are her friends. Little Willow has brought you a present."
The Happiness Princess boldly took a step toward the dark-haired vampiress. So this was the infamously psychotic Drusilla. And she looked every bit as crazy as she did on television. "I've brought you your own dingo, Drusilla."
Dru stared at the small dingo in the human's arms. It looked exactly like Princess, only with a blue velvet ribbon around its neck. "For me?"
Little Willow nodded. "That's right. You give me Princess back, and I give you this cute little dingo."
"Spike?" Dru wasn't really sure what she wanted to do, looking to her consort for help. He rolled his wheelchair to her.
"Give me Princess, my pet. Let Daddy help you." Once the dingo was safely in his arms, he went back to Little Willow. "Here. Take her." He handed the dingo to Duffy, who looked Princess over for any cuts and scratches.
"She's fine, Little Willow," Duffy said once she was done.
"Now? If I can have Dru's pet..."
Little Willow gently handed the dingo in her arms to Spike. "It's a male."
He looked at the dingo, then quickly placed him in Drusilla's hands. The less he had to be near the animal, the better.
Dru happily took the dingo from Spike. "Hello, my beautiful, precious dingo," she cooed to him.
"Thanks, Little—" Spike turned around to find that the three teenagers, along with Princess, were gone. He didn't remember hearing them leave. "Guess they didn't like the present company," he shrugged.
Drusilla didn't seem to hear him. She kept petting the furry creature in her lap. "I'm going to name you Starlight. After all the lovely stars I just saw in the sky..."
"Dru, baby... your pet is a male. Starlight sounds too girly. You should try for something more... lethal. Like Venom. Besides, you were staring at the ceiling. And it's daytime right now."
The vampiress pouted for a brief second, then started to whimper.
"Okay, okay... Starlight it is." He hated how she always did that everytime he criticized her. "I'm going to leave you to play with your little baby, love. Daddy needs some rest." He kissed her on the forehead, then headed off to another part of the warehouse.
He just reached the bedroom when he heard Drusilla shreaking. Reaching her in a matter of seconds, he asked, "What's the matter, ducks?"
Drusilla stood there, moaning loudly. She held Starlight three feet above the ground, holding him with her left hand.
"Dru, baby, what happened?"
The moaning gradually faded to a whimper. Spike rolled closer to her, then noticed that Starlight seemed to be limp in her grip. The velvet ribbon was still around his neck. "Dru, pet, please don't tell me you..."
The vampiress slowly nodded. "We were playing 'Hangman' and... and..." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Spike looked exasperated. "Dru! That is not how you play Hangman! You are supposed to use a pen and paper, not a noose and an animal!" He couldn't believe this was happening.
Drusilla began to moan once more.
"I'm sorry, love... how can I help?"
"I... I want... I want a new dingo!"
The End... or is it?
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