The Wind Beyond the Walls of the Mind
Chapter 28 - concluded
Epilogue
This Fragment in Time
by Gaius Petronius
Disclaimer:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the characters that appear on the show are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox and Mutant Enemy, Inc. This story can be read on its own or as a sequel to H. P. Lovecraft's "The Haunter of the Dark" from which the Ancient Ones, the Shining Trapezohedron and the character of Robert Blake are derived.
Content Note: This part is rated PG-13 for violence and some raunchy language.
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There was a long pause. Faith then looked up hopefully at Karintha as the specter rose to her feet.
"Do we get to kick any ass?"
"Wait'll you see the shitheads we gotta keep in line . . ." Karintha smirked. She then asked gently, "You ready?"
"Wait . . ." Faith frowned, "I did a lot of fucked up stuff here. I owe some people big time. Can I have a sec to try and clear some shit up?"
Karintha glanced over at Lovecraft who nodded. Faith turned and stepped back towards the Scooby Gang. She stopped before Giles first.
"I just want you to know, you were a good Watcher" she said without being able to look him in the eyes, ". . . and it wasn't your fault."
Giles only nodded.
"You know how I know?" Faith continued, now making eye contact with Giles, "'Cause those old prunes on the Council threw yer ass out. That I can identify with."
". . . the thought is appreciated," he answered quietly, but with the faintest wry smile, "Goodbye, Faith . . ."
". . . yeah . . ." Faith nodded as she turned to Cordelia.
"See ya 'round, Cords. I give up. You're the bitch. No challenge here."
"And don't you forget it!" Cordelia grinned back.
Faith suddenly found herself facing the towering figure of Angel and unexpectedly speaking from her heart.
"You're the only one I could never figure out," she said sincerely, "I mean, you really had me going there. I could of sworn that . . . I guess you got your own road to travel . . ."
Faith's voice trailed off for a moment.
". . . anyway . . . sorry for lying . . ." she finally continued and added an afterthought, ". . . And trying to kill you."
"I'm already dead, Faith," Angel answered.
"See! That's what I mean!" she exclaimed as she turned to the other Scoobies, "Brood dude! Never smiles!" For a moment the clearing was silent as Faith returned her attention to Angel.
"I hope you find . . . whatever it is."
"Thanks," he replied.
Faith then walked over in front of Xander and Anya. Xander, not knowing what to expect, stared a little fearfully at her then back at Anya as he wondered which woman was going kill him first. Instead, Faith just grinned playfully.
"Hey, lover boy," and she reached out and pinched him on the cheek. "You're so cute!"
Faith then spotted Anya's glare. The ex-demon was almost boiling over with jealousy.
"A little advice, demon girl," she said with a conspiratorial tone in her voice, "If he ever cheats on ya . . . cut his balls off!"
Relieved, Anya almost burst out laughing and Xander rolled his eyes. Then, before Faith could move on to Willow, Xander stepped up to the fallen Slayer's side. He pushed away her black hair from the side of her face, kissed her lightly on the cheek and whispered tenderly in her ear.
". . . Goodbye, Faith . . ."
As he stepped back, Faith stared at him silently. For a moment, she felt something she had never felt before and at the same time, her face betrayed only to him the faintest hint of longing for something that she never realized until now she had ever even lost.
Faith then slowly turned to Willow. The two studied each other for a moment, neither sure exactly what to say.
"Hey, sorry for raggin' on you, Red."
Willow didn't answer but only gave Faith a steely glare.
"What?" Faith exclaimed with surprise, "No 'that's okay. Forget it. All's forgiven?'"
"No way," Willow answered coldly, "You beat the crap outta me. You tried to kill me and everybody I love. You screwed up graduation big time."
"Hey, I tried to help Buffy stop that," Faith exclaimed sarcastically as she raised her arms to take in the clearing around them, "Didn't I just save the world? Look at me, Red! I've changed."
"Yeah, maybe," Willow answered seriously, "But I haven't. Not enough yet anyway."
Faith reached out and grasped Willow by the arms, turning her so neither could look away from the other.
"You 'see' stuff now, right, Red? Bits and pieces of the future and all?"
"Yeah . . .?" Willow replied puzzled and uncomfortable in Faith's iron grip.
"And you don't get what just happened here?" Faith shook her head incredulously, "I'm not the only one that's changed. You're changing too, Red, along with everyone else, whether you see it or not. Hell, I never knew it was happening to me either. You, more than anybody, I gotta make it right with . . . cause of what you are now, you'll be the next to pass this way."
Willow was silent for a moment. Faith released her hold on Willow who tried to look away but couldn't.
"I know you get it," Faith said, "Now you gotta believe it."
Willow then looked up into Faith's brown eyes and the two stared at each other. Although Willow could still sense the wall between them, the gentle breeze blew a few strands of her red hair as it did the same with Faith's rich black hair.
". . . it's gonna take some time, Faith . . ." she finally answered after a long pause.
"I know . . .think about it though. Bye, Red."
Faith turned and found herself standing before Buffy. The two Slayers locked eyes on each other. Finally Faith reached out and took Buffy's bandaged hands in hers.
"Geez, a little overboard there, 'B', ya think?"
Buffy shook her head and didn't reply. She wanted to say something, anything at this moment, to somehow make things right between them but her thoughts were overwhelmed by the images standing all around them both.
Then, Faith's hand rose to Buffy's face and gently massaged the huge shiner building around her eye as well as the bruise that was faintly visible on the side of her face.
"Wow, I really did that, huh?" Faith smirked.
"Duh!" was all Buffy could spit out.
"Hell of a way to have to connect . . . with someone you really wanted to like you," Faith said softly.
Then, for a reason she couldn't fathom, as if an unknown force beyond her own powers had taken control of her body, Buffy reached out with her hand. Her fingers extended, she slipped them between the open front of Faith's leather jacket and touched her in the middle of her abdomen.
Faith suddenly cried out in agony and almost doubled up with the pain. In a vice like grip, she grabbed Buffy's extended arm by the wrist but couldn't pull the fingertips away from the spot where Buffy plunged in the knife so many months before. For a second, the two stood together, Buffy staring in horror at her uncontrollable action and Faith gripped by the searing pain as if she were impaled on the ceremonial knife once again.
And then, instead of struggling to draw back from Buffy, Faith took her hands off Buffy's arm, leaned forward and placed one hand around the back of Buffy's head, burying the fingers in her blond hair. The other she wrapped around Buffy's shoulders. Slowly but steadily, Faith drew Buffy towards her until she had the smaller Slayer fully wrapped in her embrace.
Shivering with the stabbing agony which now spread out and racked her whole body, Faith still would not break free of Buffy's body but rather held her close as if every second of the pain were an awakening of understanding. Buffy's eyes were wide with horror, but she was powerless to pull away from Faith's unyielding embrace.
". . . no . . . no, Faith . . . don't . . ." Buffy pleaded.
Faith's grip was unwavering.
"Yes . . . it was you, 'B'. . . " Faith, her voice quivering, whispered in Buffy's ear as the two were wrapped in the agony of the embrace, "You little goody two shoes shit . . . you saved me!"
Suddenly the pain receded from Faith's face. As quickly as it began, she released her hold on Buffy who drew back her hand quickly. Now, free at last, each stepped away from the other.
". . . You got it wrong, Faith . . . " Buffy said quietly, her voice still trembling from the experience, "We both died that night. . . . that's why we had the dream . . .together. Maybe . . . maybe we saved each other."
"You're just trying to make me feel better," Faith answered with a wry grin through the receding pain.
"Why the hell would I want to do that?" Buffy smiled back sadly.
"Yeah, you're right. As always," Faith answered with her characteristic sarcastic smile as she gazed at Buffy.
There was a long pause. Faith finally looked over her shoulder towards Karintha and the other flickering images receding into the distance.
"Okay . . . " she said firmly, "I'm ready . . . let's go."
Before Faith could walk away, Buffy grabbed her by the arm and the two faced each other. To Buffy's own astonishment she wrapped her arms around Faith, embracing silently for a few moments. Faith then stepped back from Buffy and turned to follow Karintha who was walking away, along with MacDuffie and Lovecraft, into the now fading tunnel of light. Faith called out over her shoulder.
"Bye, 'B.' Bye, guys! I'll save ya all a seat!"
The light drifted swiftly away and the image of the tunnel dissolved. Willow and Giles both struggled to catch one last sight of Anson MacDuffie as his tall form joined the other fading shadows. Tara watched intently as Lovecraft replaced his floppy hat on his head and then merged in with the rest of the disappearing figures. Then all was gone as darkness replaced the light.
For a long time, the Scooby Gang stood silently on the spot in the cemetery, each one alone with their own private thoughts.
"It's over . . . " Willow said at last, breaking the silence, "It's finally over."
". . . yeah . . ." Buffy answered, her voice barely audible.
Suddenly Willow pointed in the distance.
". . . look!"
Somewhere to the east, beyond the canopy of trees, the faintest hint of dawn slipped above the horizon and began to filter in through the leaves.
Buffy, with Riley at her side, started walking back along the path which wound down to one of the cemetery service roads. The others followed, silent but still in need of one another's company. The pavement led directly towards the large arched east main gate to the cemetery which Buffy could quickly see in the distance looming over the sea of headstones. Unspeaking, the others followed.
Finally Kate piped up, her cheery sarcastic voice breaking the gloom.
"Hey . . ." she snapped at Angel as she elbowed him in the ribs, "I like that name."
". . . what? . . . what name?" he asked, puzzled at her perky attitude. "What are you talking about?"
"Brood Dude! It fits!"
Buffy couldn't help but snicker.
Colors in the sky at the base of the horizon began to replace the ever pervasive black of the night. Giles nodded toward the sky as he spoke to Angel.
"Uh, Angel . . . don't you think . . . ?"
"Oh, yeah. You're right," Angel agreed, realizing that dawn was only a few minutes away.
"Crap, we better get you the hell outta here!" Kate sang out, "I gotta get back to LA anyway. They're probably wondering what happened to me at the precinct."
"You coming, Cordelia?" Angel asked.
Cordelia cast a quick questioning glance at Giles who smiled back and nodded.
"You guys go ahead," she replied, "Giles'll give me a ride down later."
Kate and Angel separated off from the rest of the group. As they walked together in the diminishing darkness towards the west gate, Kate grinned mischievously and there was a sparkle in her eye.
"You know, I just remembered," she remarked a little too casually, "The top on that old convertible tank of yours, does that thing still work?"
Angel glanced nervously at the sky and then at Kate.
"Very funny, Kate."
"No, really," she deadpanned, "'Leggs' said she tried it just before you guys blew down here, and she couldn't get it to go up. Something about it being jammed."
Cordelia, who overheard the conversation as Angel and Kate left, broke into a grin and covered her mouth with her hand. Kate quickly stole a glance back at Cordelia, and the two shared an evil smile.
This was going to be good. Cordelia marveled at how easily Kate could fool her boss. Maybe she could talk Kate into getting her a raise. Maybe Kate could talk Angel into something else, too. It would be a riot, Cordelia thought wistfully, to see Angel really smile for a change.
Struggling to conceal his building panic, Angel broke into a run towards the street.
". . . shit! . . ."
"Wait up! I'll give ya a hand!" Kate shouted as she followed close behind him.
The two quickly disappeared together through the trees and surrounding monuments. For a few moments more, Buffy and the others wandered down the widening service road. The subtle brightening of their surroundings also brought the color of daylight to their faces and their moods lightened.
With Buffy and Riley in the lead, the Scooby Gang approached the East cemetery gate. The rays from the sunrise spilled over the top of the wall's gray stones. For a moment, the height of the wall held the light back but quickly the rising angle of the sun allowed the daylight to flow in, and the wall was bathed in the cleansing soft hues of dawn. A gentle breeze blew, stirring the leaves. Buffy, now finally relaxed for the first time in weeks, turned to Willow.
"Hey, Spike said you guys had a party the other day . . . and got drunk! . . . and you didn't invite me!"
"Yeah, sorry about that. Giles!" Willow exclaimed turning to the Watcher, "I have an idea! How about you, me and Buffy get together at the shop this afternoon and we'll have our own little party!"
Willow grinned as if sharing a special joke with Giles.
"Just before three o'clock okay?"
"I don't see any reason why not," Giles said with a subtle grin.
"It'll be a 'we saved the world' type party. We'll celebrate!" Willow continued, her enthusiasm building, "What the heck, everybody's invited! We didn't blow away all the 'refreshments' did we Giles?"
"I should hope not!" he answered, a little concerned at the thought of how much single malt scotch from his precious cache was still left after their last "end of the world party."
"You guys are up to something," Buffy said, puzzled.
"No, we're not" Willow replied innocently, "But everybody who's coming, . . . has to sing."
"What?" Buffy exclaimed at this off the wall requirement.
"You know, sing! Like la, la, la."
Buffy scowled at Willow.
"I like to sing . . ." Giles said mostly to himself.
"Me, too!" Willow agreed, "And Buffy sings real good."
Willow turned to Buffy, "I hear you in the shower in the morning. Giles, she has a pretty little voice!"
"I don't sing and I don't have a 'pretty little voice!'" Buffy snapped back at the insinuation.
"Oh, piffle," Giles huffed.
". . . what? . . ." Buffy announced in astonishment at the peculiar word.
"Not now, Giles," Willow declared to Giles as she turned to Buffy and presented her ultimatum, "Yes, you do. This is important. There's something special I have to share with you, and you're coming!"
Buffy glanced over to Riley who shrugged and smiled with a "Go for it!" look on his face. Buffy sighed and faced up to Willow.
"Okay, we'll be there!"
Willow grinned broadly.
"That's my . . . !" Willow announced but suddenly stopped.
Her eyes glistened up, as if, in mid sentence, she remembered something that broke her heart a long time ago.
". . . Bonnie Lassie . . ." she finished the sentence sadly to Buffy.
"Huh?" the Slayer's eyebrows rose in utter confusion.
Willow didn't answer. Rather she gazed peacefully ahead towards the approaching cemetery gate and the dawn light issuing from beyond. Quietly, she started humming the melody to the old Scottish folk song, "Wild Mountain Thyme" that she, Giles and MacDuffie sang together in their darkest hour. After a moment, Giles, now smiling at Willow, joined in. He then followed her gaze into the sunlight while his own mellow tenor harmonized with her soft soprano. As they passed through the gate, Willow sang the words.
". . . and we'll all go together, to pull wild mountain thyme, all across the purple heather, Will ye go, Lassie, will ye go . . ."
Her sweet voice drifted gently through the surrounding stones and trees.
Giles and finally Buffy, who wasn't too sure of the words, picked up the chorus as well.
". . . and we'll all go together, to pull wild mountain thyme, all across the purple heather, Will ye go, Lassie, will ye go . . .
Tara, Xander, Anya, Riley and Cordelia, humming along as well, followed them through the cemetery gate and into the new morning sunlight that brightened moment by moment. All around, the sweet dawn air was fresh, and the breeze which stirred the trees, invigorating. Buffy took a deep breath.
She had forgotten how good it felt, the sunlight on her face, the clean fresh morning air. She suddenly realized that, for this one moment, everything was as it should be. The pain of the past was gone and there was no knowing the future, so this single instant was what she treasured and held close to her heart. This fragment in time with these people she loved all around her, this really was forever, . . . if only for just a moment.
Buffy smiled as she drew Riley close and spoke quietly now to herself.
". . . and we'll all go together . . ." she said softly.
The rising sun bathed them all in the warmth and brilliance of the new day.
FINIS
1999-2000 / 2003-2004
Some words at the end.
The original script version of The Wind Beyond the Walls of the Mind was conceived and written during the fall and winter of 1999-2000 in mid season 4 of BtVS and season 1 of AtS. I would like to thank sincerely those who beta read at that time, Bitca, Robyn the Snowshoe Hare, Hunter the Kimodo Dragon and others whom I can't remember right off hand.
Also many thanks to Karen T. who archived the monster on the original SFA and Anya, the site Goddess, who put up with all the nonsense at the time.
I always intended to novelize the story but never really found the time or impetus until this past spring. I also wrestled with whether to "update" the story to take into account a number of the "Jossings" that have occured since 2000 but decided to keep the plot completely as I finished it in 2000, respecting it as a true "moment in time" during the show's development.
With the passing of four years and four seasons, I have been surprised by the number of ideas that appeared in "Wind" that ultimately or simultaneously made their way into the show, (not because the scriptwriters were familiar with this story, Hardly!) because they are, for lack of a better word, "archetypical" and spring from natural questions anyone would ask about BtVS and love to see developed in an episode.
These include, the return of Faith, the destruction of the Initiative, the concept of the First Slayer (these all appeared during the second half of season 4) as well as the ancient book (the Res Profana) written before human existence (a prop used in the final season of BtVS that dates back to Lovecraft), the New Age Curiosity Shop (several readers have asked me if this is the Magic Shop,) the concept of the Guardians, and the destruction of Sunnydale among others. I'd throw in references to Giles' singing and occasional uses of "piffle" but that's taking it a little too far!
Above all, I'd like to acknowledge the debt that "Wind," the Buffyverse and indeed all modern supernatural fiction owes to H. P. Lovecraft, the horror writer of the early twentieth century and creator of the Cthulhu Mythos who died in poverty and obscurity in 1937 and whose stories still provide the foundation for so much we take for granted today in supernatural fiction.
4/24/04
pax,
Petronius
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