“You guys are…” Buffy, suddenly realizing her actions of the last few hours, tried to fight back tears.
“Engaged.” Cordelia’s face suddenly no longer held any of the meanness it had just moments ago. It was softer, sadder.
Buffy turned to Angel. “You just let me go on? You didn’t even say anything?” Disgust and embarrassment filled her voice.
Angel looked at his bride-to-be. “Can you give us some time?” Cordy seemed to hesitate, and then nodded, and walked away from the room, shutting the door behind her. “Buffy…” Angel turned to his ex-lover.
“You love her now?” Buffy, no longer able to stop the tears, sat down on Angel’s bed.
“I… love her. Yes, I do.” Angel ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that.” Buffy stood up, anger flashing all over her delicate features. “Don’t you dare.” She brought a shaking hand to her face to wipe away the tears. “I just…need to know.”
Angel walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away. He looked stricken, but spoke as if nothing had happened. “Of course. Anything.”
“When did you stop loving me?” Buffy looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Here she was, the slayer, the Chosen One, the strongest human being to walk the earth, and she looked as pathetic and scared as a lost child.
Angel took a step back. He looked surprised and taken aback. “I never stopped… loving you.” He looked confused at his own words.
Buffy looked as surprised and confused as he did. “But… you… you never… then… why?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head, his eyes wide with uncertainty. “We’ve been apart for so long, and now… now I can just reach out and touch you… I just want to touch you…” Angel put his head down, embarrassed. “All the feelings… the love, the lust… but the pain. There was so much pain, Buffy.”
“There was only pain because we loved each other so much it hurt.” Buffy took a step closer to Angel. She looked into his eyes. “You are going to be human. Do you know what this means? This is everything we’ve ever hoped for.” Buffy had tears of rage in her eyes. She grabbed the man she loved by the shoulders. “I am not one to fight for a man, Angel, but I will fight for you. Do you understand? Can you honestly tell me that you love her as much as you love me?”
Angel finally met Buffy’s gaze with the same intensity that she met his. “I don’t think I can.” He took an unnecessary breath. “But… I do love her, Buffy.”
Buffy let out a quick breath of air, a sort of bitter laugh. “I’m sure you do. Just like the way I loved Riley. But Angel, love is—love is not just feeling for someone. It’s more. All I ever wanted to do was give myself over to you. All I wanted was to lie with you, for hours, feeling safe. All I wanted was for you to look in my eyes and know me better than I know myself. All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with you. Tell me that you have that with her. Tell me and I’ll go. I won’t come back, ever. Just tell me the truth.”
The tears in Angel’s eyes threatened to spill over. He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her, throwing her small frame onto the bed. Buffy cried out, surprised and startled by this new turn of events. Angel followed onto the bed. He crawled so that he was over her, looking into her eyes. And then he kissed her, harder, more deeply, more passionately then ever before. Buffy’s eyes remained open for several seconds, not sure whether to accept it, but her body had hungered for this man for years, and finally her eyes fluttered close, relishing in his taste. Several minutes later, their lips parted, and Angel had a fire in his eye that he usually did not.
“I’m so in love with you,” he whispered. “How could I have forgotten?” He looked scared, and guilty.
“It’s okay,” Buffy said, “We’re together now. That’s all that matters.” She reached her head up and kissed him, and the whole world melted away.
In the lobby, a woman with tears streaming down her face slipped a letter into an envelope. Then, taking one last look at the ring that adorned her finger, removed it, and put it in the envelope as well. Tears dripped onto the paper as she quickly scribbled “Angel” onto the envelope. Then, crying and sniffing, she placed it very carefully on the reception desk. She turned on her heel, and walked out of the hotel.
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