Buffy knew exactly where she was going even though, she hadn’t been there in months. It was a place that she had visited so many times in the past that she could get their blindfolded. As she stood outside the “mansion” she wandered if Angel was sitting up there at that very moment.
Why am I here? Won’t this just cause me pain? Buffy asked her self, questioning her own sanity. Oh well, I’m here now. If I don’t go up the curiosity will kill me.
Walking briskly she ran across the street and was soon hurrying up the stairs. When she reached the top she paused outside the door. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to run over.
I have to be strong. That’s why I’m here, to be strong, she told herself. Deep down she knew that was not the reason she was there. She still loved Angel, no matter what, and it hurt so bad she couldn’t breathe. She wanted peace, she wanted the pain and the nightmares to go away. She was hoping that seeing “their” place one more time would give her the peace she needed to go on with her life.
She opened the door quietly, and stuck her head in. It was completely dark, so she couldn’t see more then a foot in front of her. She gracefully slipped into the dark and walked across the room toward a lamp. Every step she took was out of memory, until she reached the lamp and flicked it on. Suddenly the room was bathed in soft light, causing Buffy to gasp. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting. Maybe a dank, empty apartment, but definitely not what she found.
Everything was exactly as she remembered it. The same table, the same couch, the same mini-fridge, which Buffy knew held Angels packets of blood.
He’s still living here, thought Buffy unable to process. All this time he’s been right here in Sunnydale and I haven’t seen or heard anything for months, for the moment she had forgotten that she was the one that had pushed Angel away.
She stood up in a daze and staggered to the bedroom part of the mansion. When she saw the familiar bed and sheets she could no longer hold back the tears. She fell sobbing onto the bed remembering that one fateful night that changed everything. The memory of the hurtful things she had sad to him resurfaced, the way she had isolated herself from him. Soon the room was spinning and a white, hot pain blinded her when she opened her eyes.
Through her panic she tried to think of a cause for her unbearable pain. It was like something was splitting her head in two. She managed to pull herself of his bed and made it a few steps across the floor before falling. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was a picture of her on Angel’s nightstand.
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