"You okay, Spike?"
"Hmmm?" The vampire had been unusually silent as they made their way out of the ruins of her old school. He hadn't let go of her hand since they'd been freed by Dawn, but he hadn't said a word to her since then either. If Buffy didn't know better, she'd have said Spike was brooding. "What's that?"
"Are you all right? I mean, you and Dru-" She broke off, not knowing what to say.
"Oh, that." They stopped walking, and Spike let go of her hand long enough to pull out a cigarette and light it. "What I said to you last year, when I was gonna stake her . . . it was true. We spent over a century together, Slayer. She was the first woman who ever showed me any . . . affection. It does mean somethin' to me . . . knowin' she's dead."
He paused a moment, and took a long drag on the cigarette. "But maybe Tara was right about this whole soul-sharin' business changing me as much as it's changed you. 'Cause right now, being with you, I look back on Dru and me and it all seems . . . lacking. Empty." Then out of nowhere, a small, ironic smile came to his face.
Buffy blinked at him. "What?"
"Oh, nothing." He started to turn away.
Buffy stopped him by pulling on his arm, and glared at him. "Spill it, blondie. If there's one thing I've learned in the past week, it's the importance of talking about stuff." Then she softened her glare, and continued, "Besides, if it made you smile, I'd like to hear it. I could use some good news."
"Whether it's good or not depends on your point of view, Slayer." He took another big puff, and shook his head. "I can't help rememberin' how the Pouf got his soul back. The gypsies put a curse on him, to make him suffer forever. Worst thing that could happen to a bloke, right? At least if you're a vampire," he added after a pause. "Even when he became a soddin' hero, the curse forced him to hurt everyone around him. Especially you. That's what makes it a curse."
He threw the cigarette down and stomped it out. Then he turned to Buffy and took hold of her other hand. "I still don't know what it means, this whole business of you having my soul. I don't believe it's why I love you. Or why your death was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
"But it's beginning to do the same thing to me that the curse did for Angel. And it scares the Hell out of me. But when I look into your eyes, and see love for a man, instead of disgust for a monster . . . I know that it's not a curse. It's a blessing."
Buffy just stared at her lover. An introspective Spike was something that would take a Hell of a lot of getting used to. Like I keep saying, things were a lot simpler when we were just fighting.
Then, what he said suddenly meshed with some things that had been rattling around in her head for the past year. And she felt her whole world turn upside down once more. "Death is my gift," she whispered.
"Wot?"
She shook herself out of her reverie. "Last year, when I went away into the desert? You know, when you had the robot made?" she said with a glare. Maybe she loved him now, but she still wouldn't give him any slack about that little faux pas. "I was visiting a spirit guide, to ask some questions about . . . what it meant to be the Slayer. I was afraid that being the Slayer meant that I couldn't love the way I should. But my guide told me . . . that I was full of love. That I loved with all of my soul. That I needed to love, even if it brought me pain. That love would bring me to my gift. And then she said," and here she imitated the haunting voice of the guide, "'Death is your gift.'"
Spike stared at her. "Bloody hell. What a soddin' awful thing to say to someone."
She nodded and looked up into his eyes. "That was just about my reaction. I couldn't understand it. After all that talk about how full of love I was . . . was I nothing but a killer?
"Then, on the tower, when Dawn was saying she had to jump into the portal to close it, everything seemed to make sense. This was why I was born. This was my gift. Not anyone else's death, but mine. I had to give my life to save the people I loved. And so I jumped. And I died. And for a while, I was at peace, because I'd done what I was supposed to do. I was finished . . . complete."
She took a deep breath, and let it all come out. "Only I was brought back. And I've had to wonder: if that was my gift, then what am I still doing here? Is there any reason at all for me to be alive?
"You just gave me my answer, Spike."
"What? Changing me is now your great purpose in life?" He snorted.
"No, Spike. It's far more than that. Remember? I love with all my soul, which is also your soul, 'love's bitch?' Love will lead me to my gift, which is death?" She shook her head; this was all so bewildering, yet it seemed so right, so fitting.
"You loved Cecily with all your soul, and she rejected you, and so you let Drusilla bite you. I love Dawn, and I would do anything for her, and so I died so she could live.
"And now, because of the spell Willow used to bring me back, the soul we share, which has loved so much and hurt so much, binds us together." She gripped his hands tightly as she said the last part. "That bond didn't make us love each other, but that soul is what makes us feel the kind of love that's so powerful that you'll die without it, or die for it.
"I don't know if this is all making sense, Spike. This is like what happened on the tower, everything in my life suddenly being given new meaning. It scares me, too. And you heard Drusilla back there. There's something big coming, and I don't know if we'll be able to stop it. But I think that we're meant to be together, to fight it.
"And I think . . . I need to tell you about something Willow told me tonight."
Spike just gazed at her for a long time. Then he said, "Hold that thought a moment, luv." Then he turned, and bellowed, "DAWN! I want a word with you, now!"
About an hour later, the four women who lived in the Summers house collapsed into various couches and chairs in their living room. Spike had volunteered to see Xander and Anya home, then do a sweep of the school and his crypt to make sure his weapons stash didn't fall into anyone else's hands.
Buffy thought privately that he wanted a little time to himself, to think about what she'd said to him . . . including the possible cure for her condition. She sure needed to think about it.
Willow and Tara were asleep almost as soon as they were off their feet. The blonde Slayer watched them lying in each other's arms for a while, enjoying the warm glow she felt from seeing her two friends together again.
Yawning, she turned to her younger sister. "I should probably go to bed, and haul you up there, too," she yawned, "but I don't think I can even make it up the stairs right now."
Then, in that rare moment of privacy in their crowded home, she figured it would be a good time to bring up something that had been on her mind since they had left the school. "Umm . . . Dawn? I guess this means you love Spike too?"
Dawn blinked at her sleepily. "Huh?"
"Drusilla said she came back to Sunnydale because she read in her cards that a girl who loved Spike was going to kill her. Since I'm not the one who put a crossbow bolt through her heart, that leaves you."
Dawn just peered at Buffy through tired eyes for a moment. Then she put her hand up to her forehead dramatically, and cried, "Yes, yes, Buffy, it's true! I love Spike! Oh, the tragedy of unrequited passion!" Then she laughed and made a forget-about-it gesture with one hand. "Of course I love Spike, Buffy! He's saved my life a gazillion times, he's been there for me when you couldn't . . . he even forgave me for spilling the beans about Cecily, when I was sure that was the one thing that would earn me a butt-kicking, chip or no chip.
"Buffy, if I didn't love him, I wouldn't trust him with your poor mistreated heart."
Buffy gave her a weak smile. "Thanks. Nice to know I can rely on my younger sister to look out for me. In more ways than one."
The next morning, Dawn protested once again about having to go to school. "I think catching up on sleep I lost while saving your life should be a valid excuse!"
"And how about all the times I had to go to school after saving your life?"
Once again, Dawn ended up going to school anyway.
Life stabilized for the Slayers and the Scoobies for the next few days. Buffy had Tara take some job applications to UC Sunnydale for her. She figured that the security guard job was the only one she had a real shot at. But the thought of being able to go back to school again soon got her through the tedious workdays at the Palace.
The Scoobies started looking through books for any reference to twenty-eight duckies or doxies and how they might avert the end of the world. They found nothing.
Spike proposed to Buffy, on bended knee, in front of the whole Scooby Gang. He even had a real engagement ring this time: a diamond surrounded by blood red garnets -- her birthstone. All the girls sobbed in happiness. Xander applauded and cracked a joke about "the second time around."
Buffy happily accepted, and didn't even ask Spike where he'd gotten the ring. She also promised Anya that she would wait until the ex-demon's own wedding before tying the knot, to keep her "maid" status intact.
Dawn continued to train after school with either her sister or her sister's fiancé. She decided that she preferred working with Buffy, even though she knew that Spike was better at getting her to do her best. It wasn't because he was harder on her than Buffy -- although he was harder. He was patient when patience was required . . . and he kicked her butt when she needed to get working on something. Buffy was kinda hesitant about that aspect of training.
But Spike was such a grouch after training when he had chip-induced headaches!
On the Thursday after Spike and Buffy's abduction, Tara asked Dawn if she would take Miss Kitty Fantastico into her room for the night.
"Sure thing, Tara," Dawn had answered. Then she winked at the older blonde. "She's only a year old. There are some things an innocent kitty shouldn't be exposed to, right?" To that, Tara only blushed.
A half-hour later, the blonde witch was at Willow's door with a huge lit candle.
The redhead beamed at her from the bed. There were tears glistening in her sea-green eyes, but there was warmth in her gaze -- and heat. She rose to greet her lover, then said, "I know it's breaking with tradition, but . . . could we not blow this one out? I never get tired of seeing your hair by candlelight." She slowly reached out and ran her fingers through Tara's long blonde hair to illustrate. The witch leaned into her caress and . . . purred in pleasure.
In the next room, Spike was using his extra-sensitive vampire hearing. He wasn't being a voyeur -- not really. He was just making sure things went as he had planned. In his opinion, those two women were too . . . delicate about sex. Sex, even making love, should be fire and ice, pleasure so great it was painful, passion so explosive you screamed your lover's name until the Gods ran for cover. Tara and Willow were too sweet and delicate and ethereal with each other all the time.
He'd been watching them over the past few days, and seen that they were still . . . hesitant around each other. All that angelic lovemaking wasn't going to be enough to erase the last barriers between them. They needed to get together and shag each other senseless. And he decided to make sure they did.
He had slipped some Berber Weed into the girls' dinner that night -- making sure not to get any in Dawn's, of course. Mixing it into the blood he drank made it all hot and spicy . . . and it did the same thing to humans who ate it. Make them all hot and spicy, that is. He grinned. Not only would Willow and Tara have a truly mind-blowing experience tonight, they would be too distracted to give him a hard time about any noise he and Buffy made . . .
"Spike?"
Speak of the devil, he thought. He had only a brief glimpse of the petite blonde before she attacked him. They only made it to the bed much, much later.
The next morning, everyone was looking very tired, and very happy. Except for Dawn, who was just very tired.
"I had to put a pillow over my head to get any sleep! What with all the things that went 'bump-bump-bump' in the night. Not to mention 'Oh my God,' 'Oh, yes' and 'Aaaaaaah!!'"
Tara, Willow, and Buffy blushed furiously. Spike just smirked.
I've got to get myself a boyfriend, Dawn thought.
Finally, that evening, Giles showed up at the Magic Box, looking very much like he had the last time he had returned to Sunnydale. This time, however, it was Dawn who was the first to greet him. And to give him a Slayer's bone-crushing hug.
"I . . . see . . . that my suspicions . . . were correct," he said in a strangled voice.
"Ooops. Sorry," said an embarrassed Dawn, as she loosened her embrace and pulled back. "Buffy and Spike keep saying I'm as fast as she ever was, but not as strong."
Panting, Giles could only reply, "I assure you, Dawn, that you'll be at full strength in no time, especially with the right training." He let go of her slowly, to greet the young woman waiting behind Dawn.
When Dawn had run up to greet Giles, Buffy had still been sitting at the table, trying to decide whether she was still mad at Giles for leaving, or happy enough that he'd come back to give him a hug too. Happiness won out. But as she hugged him, she whispered, "Don't you ever do that to me again, Giles."
Giles nodded. "I understand. I'm not coming back to be your Watcher, Buffy. You've proven time and time again that you don't need one. But . . . I will be your friend, if you let me?"
She smiled. "Yeah. Even if I don't need a Watcher, I need all the friends I can get."
After Giles greeted the other Scoobies -- except for Spike, who only got a flat glare -- he got down to business. "Did you get my text of the prophecy?" he asked.
Willow shook her head, "Nope. Are you sure it was sent?"
"I'm positive." He reached for one of his bags, and brought out a small sheaf of paper. "Here are the pages that I sent."
The redhead took it from him, and the others leaned over her shoulder to read it too. "Oh. I see." She looked worried. "This doesn't look good. But, Dawn's Slayer-ness aside, are you really sure these two 'twice sisters' are Buffy and Dawn?"
Buffy chimed in. "Yeah. I mean, I understand that Dawn's the 'Neverborn'-" Dawn made a face and a rude noise at that, which her sister ignored. "-but how am I the 'Thriceborn?'"
"Well, it is a bit of a stretch, but you were born once, and then re-born twice . . . after each time that you died. Now, the 'shadowselves' the prophecy refers to must be-"
"-the vampires that originally had the souls that Buffy and Dawn have now," Willow finished.
Giles nodded. "I think I can guess who Buffy's shadowself is, it's Spike. He's the one who will love. But Dawn's shadowself, the one who will kill?" He looked up, his face lined with concern. "We've encountered prophecies in the Codex like this before, Dawn, and I'm sure we'll find a way to prevent-"
"Um, Giles?" Dawn interrupted. "I don't think you have to worry about me. At least, not from this prophecy. Buffy and I have already stood together at the Hellmouth, so it's already happened." Giles muttered something rude and British at this point, and began frantically cleaning his glasses. "It's not the shadowselves who will love and kill . . . it's Buffy and me. Buffy loves Spike-" A choked noise came from Giles. "-and the only vampire I've killed since becoming a Slayer is . . . Drusilla."
Giles sat down heavily and said, "Could someone please find that bottle of single-malt Scotch? I think I'm going to need it."
"You? You didn't just find out you've got the soul of a lunatic vampire who heard voices, Giles." Dawn retorted. Then her eyebrows shot up, and she said to the others, "I told you guys I heard a voice in that library!"
It took everyone a long time to bring Giles up to speed. At times, Buffy was sure that he was going to faint. And his attitude toward Buffy's relationship with Spike was less than pleased. But Drusilla's ramblings about the end of the world, and her description of what might stop it brought him up short.
"Twenty-eight duckies?" he asked in amazement. "Even for Drusilla, that sounds . . . insane."
"Or doxies," Spike pointed out. "Though that makes even less sense, unless we're about to be flooded with new Slayers." Buffy and Dawn each gave him a hard look.
Giles sighed. "I'm going to have to go back to the Codex and see if there are any more relevant passages."
Willow added, "I'll check the other books of prophecy. If it's the end of the world we're talking about, it should be mentioned in other places."
Dawn added, "I can go back to the Hellmouth, and see if I can understand what it's saying. Maybe I could find out what the twenty-eight duckies are."
Giles shook his head. "No, Dawn. We have no idea of the extent or nature of this . . . gift that you seem to have. It might leave you vulnerable to the Hellmouth's influence, and I won't let you be exposed to that unless we know that it is safe. Speaking of which, I have to find a trained psychic to help you learn to control your talents." He frowned. "The Council won't be able to help much -- there's never been a Slayer with psychic powers before."
Dawn sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. "Key, Slayer, psychic. Is there anything else you guys wanna pile on while you're at it?"
Buffy put her arm around her. "How 'bout sister?"
"And friend?" added Spike, as he embraced the brunette from the other side.
Dawn smiled, and hugged them back. "I guess that'll do."
And on that note, the research began.
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