THE BOOK OF DAYS
'Two slayers....'
'No waiting.'
Buffy & Kendra 'What's My Line II'
Part Eight: Homecoming
###
Managing the cumbersome cast as best she could, Buffy manoeuvred herself towards the doorway to Scully’s spare room. She could still hear Angel’s restless turning in his bonds. The vampire had insisted that they tie him to the bed, though even Joyce agreed that he presented them with no danger. The thick curtains over the windows blocked the best of the light and the room looked beset by a thick twilight. It was quiet, still. Mulder, after manhandling Angel into the apartment, had gone off to the J.Edgar Hoover, ostensibly to catch up on things, and to arrange for their return travel. Joyce, after spending a tense morning waiting for Buffy’s leg to be set, had been persuaded to leave Buffy at the apartment to sleep while she went to get some supplies. Buffy hadn’t slept.
Angel was struggling against the ropes that held him to the bed, thrashing in his sleep. He moaned, a low, mournful sound that sent a chill down Buffy’s back. She retrieved her crutches from behind the door and swung over to him, feeling unwieldy and slow. The armchair pulled up by the head of his bed was thankfully hard and highbacked and she was able to drop into it without her crutches tumbling to the ground. She placed a hand on his forehead, which was vampire-cold and clammy with sweat. He started, his eyes snapping open.
‘Angel..Angel. It’s me. Just me.’
‘Buffy... I was dreaming again. I can’t seem to stop dreaming, all these things, over and over. All the things I did. I can’t stand it. It’s like someone is burning out my insides, it’s the only thing I can think, the only thing I can feel. It’s not like before. That soul was for suffering. This one is for death.’
‘Angel. It wasn’t you. It was the demon. It was my fault, not yours. Just know that it wasn’t you. You couldn’t do things like that.’
‘Are you saying you don’t blame me - that I’m innocent? All those people - your teacher? Giles loved her, I could feel it. Now their terror, their pain - that’s all I can feel.’
‘No. I don’t blame you.’ She looked at him, infinitely compassionate. ‘That was the demon. You are Angel. You have a soul.’ She began untying the bonds that held his left hand. ‘There are more things you can feel. With Willow and Giles help, we may be able to do something to ease things. But right now you are too weak to even fight against your thoughts, to be able to make sense of it.’ The other bond was untied and she helped him to a sitting position. ‘Angel? When was the last time you fed?’ She stood up with difficulty.
‘A girl. She screamed and thought of her mother. She was about ten. Two nights before Drusilla and I tried to raise Acathla. She must have known I would hurt her. She begged me to go away. She cried for her mother.’ His voice was flat, untextured. ‘I fed, and she died.’
Buffy almost wished she hadn’t asked. The vampire was drifting away again, away to his own private torture chamber of the mind. She shook him. ‘Angel! That’s three weeks ago. Oh hell.’
She brought her face down to his. ‘Angel, you need food. You can’t get any, and I can’t leave you here alone, even if I was able to get around normally...wait.’
She grabbed her crutches and swung into the bathroom. Rifling through the cupboards, she found the biggest first aid kit she had ever seen. Glad to be staying at a doctor’s house, she tore the lid off, dumped the contents of the kit onto the vanity and pawed through them.
‘Excellent!’ Inside a small kit for the treatment of anaphalactic shock, she found a hypodermic syringe, alcohol pad, some tape and a length of sterilised tubing. Leaving the rest on the bench she carried it out to the kitchen where she found a plastic cup measure and a teacup. Moving very slowly, she returned to the spare room and helped Angel out to the living room couch.
‘Buffy...what?’
‘You need food. After Kendra was killed Giles told me that the blood of a Slayer has special restorative powers for a vampire. You are a vampire in need of special restorative powers, I am a Slayer. Q.E.D.’ She broke off the needle plunger and taped the tubing to the barrel of the syringe. Ripping open the alcohol prep pad, she wiped down the inside of her arm. ‘I don’t really want to be bitten, and I didn’t think you’d want to, after...you know...So this is the only way.’ She sucked on the end of the tube, then grabbed Angel’s hand and covered the end of the tube with his thumb to create a vacuum. ‘Hold that there. Good.’
‘Buffy...’ Angel sounded scared but made no move to stop her as she uncapped the needle and angled it into a vein. Blood began to flow into the syringe, then on into the tube. ‘Right. Now let go.’ With her opposite hand she held the cup measure under the end of the clear tube. Within a minute, the liquid began to drip into the cup.
‘Yes! It’s working. Now we just wait. I figure I shouldn’t take more than a pint - I think that’s what they take at the blood bank.’
‘Less.’ The voice was a growl. ‘They take less.’ Buffy whipped her head around to face him and was surprised to see him trying to back even further away from her into the soft padding of the couch. He had morphed into his game face. ‘I’m sorry Buffy - I can smell it, that’s all - I don’t have much control. I just don’t know why you’re doing this for me, after all I’ve done...’
She looked sad. ‘I have my reasons.’ she replied quietly.
For almost five minutes they sat there in silence, thinking their own thoughts. With the cup up to the 200ml mark, Buffy thought she had better give up the first lot and swap arms. Her train of thought was interrupted by the noise of a key scraping into the lock and the tumblers moving. Joyce burst through the door, one arm laden with packages, the other hand fumbling with the set of keys. Not expecting to see her daughter and Angel on the couch, she straightened up, dropping the keys. Then her eyes widened in alarm. She screamed.
Buffy thought she knew what had scared her mother. ‘Mom! It’s okay! It’s just the blood - the smell of the blood. He’s not going to hurt me!’
‘What are you doing..oh my God! What the hell is going on here?!’ Joyce looked frightened.
‘Mom, Angel needs food...’
‘And you’re giving him your blood! You are almost five months pregnant and you are BLEEDING YOURSELF to feed this..this..!’ The door slammed shut behind her and she jumped.
Buffy felt Angel recoil beside her. Joyce covered her mouth in horror. ‘Oh Buffy...I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean...I’m sorry. But please - please stop..please...’ She dropped her shopping bags and rushed into the room she shared with Buffy. The girl looked around wildly, panicked.
‘Mom!....oh god! Angel - I’m sorry, I wish she hadn’t said - I didn’t know how to tell you, but I _am_ pregnant.’ She shoved the cup of blood at him and pulled the needle out of her arm, balling the tube up around her hand and placing the whole apparatus on the coffee table beside her.
Angel was staring at the cup as if it held poison. He did not speak. Then he suddenly tipped his head back and drained the cup as if it were a shot glass. He shuddered.
‘I can taste it, Buffy. I can tell from the taste.’ He dropped his head and began to weep. She held him, listening to her mother moving around the bedroom. Buffy knew Joyce wouldn’t emerge until someone came to get her. She just held the vampire, letting his tears wet the front of her sweatshirt. It felt like forever since she had held him in her arms properly, since the night that he had changed. Since she had changed him. And now he was paying for that mistake. As willing as she was to rationalise the necessity of killing Angelus, she still felt the transformation was her own fault. But now there was another factor added to the mix, a factor she could not bring herself to regret.
‘Buffy?’ She pulled herself back to the here and now.
‘Angel?’
‘I’m sorry. I can’t say enough...’ He was looking at her, the vampiric ridges gone. ‘Can I ask about..’ He gestured at her stomach. She nodded, swallowing.
‘Nearly five months..I can’t see... When, Buffy? Who?’ He closed his eyes, trying to remember. ‘I..Angelus watched you almost all the time. I tracked you nearly every night. He.. I don’t remember.’
‘Yes you do, you do.’ She stroked his cheek. ‘God, Angel, I don’t know if I should be telling...you’re still so weak, I was going to wait until you were stronger. No, I wasn’t going to tell you at all. You’re not whole. Not yet.’
‘I know..it’s so hard...all I remember is the killing, the hate...’
She sighed, and thought of Giles, and Jenny. Come on, she thought to herself, now is the time to be the decisive Slayer girl. ‘Angel?’ she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, now beginning to be round and full under her sweatshirt. He flinched, then relaxed his hand.
‘Angel, you remember...you must. Your soul’s last memory before it all turns to blood. Almost five months. It’s your baby, Angel...it’s yours...’
‘But that’s not possible...it can’t be....’
‘Giles said there was no rulebook for a vampire with a soul. What you were, and are. The last gift you gave me before you left...’ she placed her hand on top of his, reassuring. ‘This is our baby.’
###
Nine in the evening, and Mulder had returned. He was sitting on the couch, clenching and unclenching his fist to hasten the flow of blood into the empty I.V. bag he had requisitioned from Scully’s backup medical kit, hidden under her bed.
‘I’m warning you Buffy, I hate needles. I’m not doing this again.’ He smiled up at the Slayer who was using her casted leg as extra weight to do raiseups in the kitchen doorway.
‘Yes, well she’s not doing it again either! I’d rather we let Angel starve than you took one thing away from my grandchild.’ Joyce was still furious. Mulder sensed that she was partly angry with herself for letting the secret slip. ‘What were you thinking! Before we left it was I’ll kill him to protect my child, now it’s starve my child to feed him! Buffy...I don’t know...I just wished you’d asked for help.’ She deflated suddenly. ‘Buffy..I’m sorry. I realise I had no right. I know you told us not to tell him. It was just the shock.’
‘It’s okay, Mom. It’s just one shock after another around here. Around me. Welcome to my life.’ She looked at Mulder, who had filled the small bag and was wincing as he extracted the needle from his arm. ‘Okay, situation’s not so great, but the upside is I’ve been downgraded from homicidal maniac to someone with extensive truancy problems. And the real homicidal maniac is no longer homicidal, and he is living with us. However he also is very heavy, relies on a one-track diet, and is sick. I think very sick. Added to that we are all exhausted, my leg hurts like hell, you two are due back at work asap...’ she trailed off, looking around the room, her gaze settling on her mother’s purchases, ‘....and Mom has blown the limit on all four of her credit cards in two hours shopping. I can’t believe I missed out on that.’
Mulder chuckled. He was tired after more than two weeks travel and paranoid hiding out, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Joyce also looked worse for the wear, her skin had taken on a grey pallor that she couldn’t quite hide under makeup. He got up and walked through to the kitchen, placing the bag of blood on the top shelf of Scully’s unnaturally tidy refrigerator. Coming back into the living room, he grabbed a folder from the coffee table and dumped it on Buffy’s lap. She had given up her upper body exercises and sat herself down on the computer chair.
‘Well, we’re going to have to give up on the idea of getting any sleep for a while. I know you want to get home.’
‘Home sweet Hellmouth.’
‘Yeah, well I managed to get four tickets on the redeye. Tonight. I know Angel can’t travel in the daytime. It leaves at 1.am. - that gives us four hours to get ready. We should land in L.A. before it starts to get light. We get a motel, stay there all day, drive to Sunnydale when it gets dark. We should be nearly there this time tomorrow.’
‘Oh. Okay. That’s great. Mom?’
‘When we get there, I’m going home to sleep for three days. But I’d rather not have Angel at the house.’
‘He can stay at Gi...oh, wait. Bad idea. I don’t think Giles would like that either.’ She thumbed through the ticket folder. ‘We don’t have many choices. I better get on the phone.’ Mulder passed her his cell.
‘Thanks. We’re just gonna have to hope like hell that Angel can control his expression and his...limbs..and things.’ She sighed. ‘Why do I sometimes feel like my whole life is some big television drama.’
Mulder brushed the hair off his forehead. ‘Trust me, you aren’t the only one.’
###
They had rung ahead from the southbound motorway, gathering the greeters, requesting food and lodgings and clean clothes and warm beds. Despite this, Buffy found that she had to drag herself and her leg down Giles’s steps in total darkness, the outside light as dead as if it had been shot out. Above and behind her, Joyce and Mulder discussed how to remove Angel from the car. He was rag-doll like in unconsciousness, heavy and yielding, and he hadn’t woken since they holed up in a hotel by the airport very early that morning.
The doorbell was answered by a whirlwind. The sudden light blinded Buffy momentarily and she stiffened as though under attack as a dark figure seized her in a bear hug. The accompanying voice was excited and dripping with accent.
‘You are Buffy, I am right? Ah-ha! But oh! I must not squeeze you so! The baby may not like for so much! Oh, you look tired, yes? Your Giles he say for you to come in and sit down now. For you he and Miss Willow have been very concerned.’
Buffy pulled back out of the hug and, adjusting her eyes to the light, studied her ‘attacker’. A young woman stood before her, tall and olive skinned. Her bright brown eyes studied Buffy with equal intensity, then she flicked her long brown hair back over her shoulder and laughed.
‘But I am so rude! I must introduce myself to you. You are Buffy Summers, I know this. I am Adriana Sequeira. I come from Aveiro, in Portugal.’ The woman suddenly looked self-conscious and shy, an expression completely at odds with her straight posture and laughing eyes. ‘I am new to be..I am sorry, my English is not so good as I like....I am now called Adriana the Vampire Slayer.’
Giles appeared in the doorway behind her and stood regarding the two girls. Adriana stepped back and allowed the two to hug.
‘God, I’ve missed you.’
‘I‘ve missed you too. There were so many times when I wished you were there to tell me what to do. But we’re back now, and we’re relatively okay...and Angel’s sick...’
She pulled out of the hug and smiled at Adriana. ‘I’m rude too. I’m pleased to meet you, Adriana the Vampire Slayer.’
‘And I you, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’ She frowned. ‘I feel - your Vampire..’ She pronounced ‘vampire’ with a familiar long a and Buffy felt the unreality of deja-vu wash over her, almost as if she could hear Kendra’s voice in the background. ‘He is in..much trouble...Look,’ she pointed up the steps where Mulder and Joyce had finally extracted him from the car. ‘They struggle. I will get help.’ She turned and headed inside, and returned with Xander, Cordelia, Willow and Oz, who had been lurking in the shadows of the living room, waiting to greet their returning friend after the official business had been done.
Willow was exaltant. ‘See! I kept the Adriana secret! Xander didn’t think I could, but I talked to you last night for fifteen whole minutes and you didn’t even know. Of course, you sorta had other things on your mind.’ She enfolded Buffy-and-crutches in a hug. The other three followed. Buffy noticed both Xander and Cordelia looking apprehensively up the stairs to where Angel was being supported.
Getting him inside proved to be a major undertaking until Adriana took charge. ‘You will all step back, please. I am - doing my job now.’ Seeing Willow’s face, she smiled. ‘Oh no, Miss Willow, not this time to slay. There is no evil in this one. I am strong, I will carry him.’ She swung Angel easily over her shoulder and descended the stairs. Laying him on the couch inside, she knelt beside him and placed her hand to his forehead.
‘He is hurting some, I think. He does not want to remember, but his dreams take him back.’ She closed her eyes and her brow furrowed in concentration. The crowd of people moved around the couch, forming a rough circle. Mulder placed a chair beside Buffy and motioned her to sit. She gave him a grateful smile.
‘I see...He sees a girl. She is dark of the eye and dark of the hair and young. She is loved, but she is dead...there is much....saudade...much sad longing for her. There are - I do not know the words - I say rosa vermelho...flowers, red flowers. He can smell them. He can see the girl.’ Suddenly her lips drew back in a grimace. ‘She is dark, she is....cigano...Romany....a gypsy. He hears much chanting, singing....’ She removed her hand, and fell back. ‘It is hard for me, very hard. I have had not practise, no training. I am tired. I must walk while you talk. Mr Giles, I go now, with my stake. I shall take those who want to go to their houses, then I will sit in your place of the dead for a time. I may find a fight, but I sense none.’
Giles’s face was white with shock, but he nodded. Reaching backwards, he found an armchair and sat himself down.
Joyce indicated that Adriana could take her home, and as Adriana helped herself to some weaponry from the chest, she kissed her daughter and held her briefly. ‘I’ll bring the car and pick you up late tomorrow morning. Please try and get some sleep, honey.’
‘I’ll try, Mom.’ With a backward glance at the subdued group, Joyce followed the tall Slayer out the door. In the quiet that followed, Mulder pulled Scully into a welcoming hug. She rested her head on his chest briefly, then squeezed his hand and pulled away.
Xander broke the silence. ‘Well, I think that’s a nice timely reminder of what we’re dealing with.’
Buffy sighed. ‘Xander..’ The boy hung his head and was quiet.
‘It is...very difficult....’ Giles was struggling to express himself. ‘Wanting to bring him back to health, to forget that scene, is one thing...but I know that I will never be able to forget it. Forget Jenny.’
‘It’s twice over for him. The Kalderash cursed him after he killed a young gypsy woman that the clan loved very much. Then Miss Calendar...a double haunting..two women..two curses. But I don’t want him to suffer for what the demon has done. Dr Scully?’ The agent stepped forward at Buffy’s summons.
‘Do you have any..painkiller, something? My leg is..Ow’ She indicated it with a grimace. ‘And then can you check Angel over? He’s been unconscious for almost twelve hours.’
Scully swallowed, then nodded. ‘I can give you a shot, then I’ll take a look at him, although I don’t know how much good I can do.’
‘Thank you.’ She looked around the room at her gathered friends. ‘I really want to talk to you all, find out what’s been going on, how you are. But I don’t think I can keep going much longer. I have...and Mulder has.... been awake for three days, and I need to sleep. So I think I should just talk to Giles and please, all of you..Will, Xander...Cordy..Oz... stay tonight so I can see you tomorrow. I need you to watch over Angel for me...I can’t do it any longer. Xander? Will?’
The pair nodded. Scully produced her medical bag and she and Giles helped the exhausted Slayer up the stairs.
###
‘You say you haven’t slept for three days? That worries me Buffy, it’s not good for the baby.’ Scully drew the Demerol into the syringe and injected it into Buffy’s arm. ‘This isn’t an especially good idea either, but it’s a very small dose, and you will probably metabolise it very fast. I’m more worried about you getting some sleep. We are going to have to get you an OB-GYN as soon as possible.’ She helped the Slayer lie back on the bed and propped her leg up on a stack of books.
‘Rupert, try not to keep her up too late.’ Scully placed her hand on the Watcher’s shoulder, and squeezed. He smiled up at her, and nodded.
‘Thank you.’
‘I’ll leave you two alone.’ Scully picked up her medical bag and set off downstairs.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Mostly okay, exhausted, running on adrenalin. I know you’ve probably got a lot to tell me, but it may have to wait until tomorrow. Please...just..I need to know there’s someone here...can you just talk me to sleep?’
‘Yes, Buffy, I’ll do that.’
‘There are many days to come...tell me about Adriana...what was she doing before..who is she?’
‘They found her about five days ago. Her Watcher is Genevieve Bresson, from France, a formidable lady. She’s an old friend - we studied together at Oxford for a time - although she definitely was not part of the whole demon-Eyghon scenario...’
‘Okay, Giles, ancient history. Adriana?’
‘She’s doing very well so far, although Genevieve has some reservations...She has very unbalanced skills.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What you saw before is an example. Adriana is extremely sensory. Your ability to sense vampires in your surroundings...’
‘Spidey sense.’ She grinned.
‘Yes, quite. Well, Adriana has it in abundance. She is able, as far as I have been able to test, to pinpoint vampire presence from several kilometres away - the entire Sunnydale metropolitan area, in fact, when she concentrates.’
‘Not my forte.’
‘You are better than average at this. Adriana is unprecedented. At closer ranges she can sense a vampire’s mood, and as you saw, if she is touching the vampire in question, she is able - vaguely - to read their minds. I had her out in the cemetery last night - she arrived at noon yesterday - and she very nearly missed an easy staking because she could feel the vampire’s fear and anger every time she touched him, almost as a force. This is dangerous. And she’s not as physically gifted as you.’ He rubbed his brow. ‘No, I shouldn’t downplay this to you. Adriana is strong, possibly as strong as you. She has more leverage than you because of her height. But....’
‘But?’
‘Her fighting is not good. She is...clumsy, and appears to have no idea how to shape a fight. It seems that some of the gifts of the Slayer have missed her, and that is more serious than I can say.’
‘Giles, she was only found a few days ago! You should have seen me when I was first called. I had no idea what I was doing. The whole situation was a huge bad. I almost got myself killed so many times. Ooohh - woozy. Demerol girl.’ She tried to sit up, but had to settle for leaning on her elbow so she could look seriously at her Watcher. ‘Or is it more than that.’
‘I’m afraid so. Buffy, do you know the term ‘division of labour’?’
‘Ummmm oh, yeah. Prehistoric people did that. The men hunted, the women cooked. Like in Clan of the Cave Bear.’
‘Yes, that’s one way to describe it. The Council - myself included - are worried that the fact there are now two Slayers means division of labour may be starting to occur. This is not good. It means that instead of one Slayer receiving all the gifts of the Chosen, they may be shared among two. If this is true, you may be the last Slayer to be able to work alone. Buffy, lie down. You’re supposed to be going to sleep.’
‘You expect me to sleep after what you just told me? Nyah!’
‘We maybe wrong. Johannes DeVries - the Watcher to your predecessor - believes I’m overreacting. He says sometimes I forget that I have an unusually gifted Slayer.’
‘Hmmm..I don’t think so...what was her name? My predecessor.’
‘Hannah. You can read about her in DeVries journals if you like - you’ve just never shown an interest. Except where Angel was concerned.’
‘I’ve never wanted to know how Slayers die. Mmmm...death by painkiller would be nice..it’s a nice cloud. Giles?’
‘Hmmmm?’
‘I’m tired. I want to sleep now. Is Angel going to be alright?’
‘I don’t know, Buffy. I don’t know.’
###
‘That was the most surreal experience I have had for a long time.’ Scully was repacking her medical bag as she talked to Giles. They could hear the four remaining teenagers talking quietly over coffee in the kitchen, the cane blind pulled down across the servery. Every so often Willow’s head popped around the door, she regarded Angel for a few seconds, then disappeared back in. Mulder had managed to shower, change clothes and make a bed for himself in the study. He was now fast asleep, cluing Scully in to just how tired her normally insomniac partner was.
‘I’m a forensic pathologist. I work with dead people - I’m used to it. I am just not used to them moving around and moaning when I examine them.’
‘I can see how that might be strange for you.’
‘He has no pulse, no heartbeat, he’s not breathing. That means he’s dead. Other than that, he appears to be in perfect health. His reflexes are normal, he doesn’t appear to have any internal or external injuries - I can’t find anything wrong, anything that might be causing this condition. I don’t think I can be of much help - I can’t see how conventional drugs would even work on him. I think perhaps this is more your realm, and Willow’s.’
They both looked up at a quiet knock on the door. Giles answered it to find Adriana standing there, a large bruise beginning to purple on her cheek.
‘I did not ring the bell, I did not want to stop anyone from being asleep.’
‘Adriana - come in, come in. What happened?’
‘I wait in the place of the dead for long time, and nothing. Then, a new vampire born from the soil. Very full of confusion. I fight with him, and he hit me, there, and there. I got angry. He is ashes now.’
‘Dust.’ Willow had come in from the kitchen. She held out a steaming mug to the new Slayer.
‘Yes, dust. Thank you.’ She took the proffered mug from Willow and gave it an experimental sniff. ‘Ah, coffee. This is a good thing for me.’ She took a sip, and made a face. ‘This American coffee - not so good.’
‘It’s instant.’
‘It does not matter, I will drink. I thank you for your kindness. Tomorrow I will make the Portugal coffee for you.’
Giles was smiling, obviously relieved that Adriana had managed her first solo patrol. ‘Adriana, if you feel up to it...we have been unable to find what is wrong with Angel, and I thought you may be able to help.’
She sighed, and took a sip of her coffee. ‘This I will do for you, Watcher, but then I must sleep. It is very hard for me.’
‘Thank you.’
Willow returned to the kitchen, taking Adriana with her. The two adults listened to the conversation that drifted in through the doorway, smiling occasionally at Adriana’s slips of language or Oz’s quietly twisted sense of humour.
‘She seems to be fitting right in.’
‘I had hoped she would, she may be here for a while, and all the others are now on their summer vacation. It will be strange for her, she has a lot to deal with and has not had a chance to get to know her own Watcher. The initial training is very important, and builds trust. I think that Genevieve has made a mistake in not joining Adriana here, but I do understand her reasons. This is almost like Slayer training camp, and Genevieve has a three year old son.’ He looked around his once-tidy apartment and smiled. ‘Perhaps I am glad she did not make the trip as well. I am beginning to think I may as well start a commune in my living quarters.’
‘Well, Buffy and the others will be returning home tomorrow, Willow’s parents are arriving back from Phoenix. Mulder will want to find a motel - and I’m going to have to go with him. I have enjoyed staying here with you and Willow. I’ve learnt a lot. A lot about myself too.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘But, time to go. Then it will just be you, Adriana...and Angel.’
‘Perhaps Adriana will find it more comfortable at Buffy’s house, if her mother agrees. She may want to take Angel with her too, but I will have to disallow that. Her health will decline from attempting to look after him around the clock. Angel can stay here until he is back to full health.’
‘I am ready now.’ Adriana appeared in the doorway, Cordelia, Willow and Oz right behind her.
‘Xander doesn’t want to hear.’ Willow said simply. She sat herself down in an overstuffed armchair and curled her legs up underneath her. Oz and Cordy commandeered chairs at the table.
Adriana addressed the Watcher. ‘Mr Giles, I do not like to do this. Something inside of my body wants me to hurt...to hurt him because he say to me ‘Vampire’ in big big waves, coming at me. But at the same time, there is no evil in him. But if he made vampire face, like so...’ She wrinkled her forehead and used her index fingers to imitate fangs. ‘...I would feel to fight and make ashes, or to run away from him.’
‘That...that is understandable, your sense of him is so strong. Buffy didn’t know when she first met him that he was a vampire. I don’t think you will ever make that mistake with any demon.’
‘I start now.’ She knelt beside the couch and placed her hand once more on the vampire’s forehead. Eyes closed, biting her lower lip, she placed her other hand on his chest. There was silence for a minute. Just when Giles felt she was not going to speak at all, her voice cut through the room.
‘He dreams...but I think, maybe his dreams do not tell the truth. He can see......Oh!’ Her eyes opened wide in surprise and then she clenched them shut. ‘He sees the Slayer. He sees Buffy. He does not think of her as Slayer. She is hurt....no..not hurt, but cold and wet and tired. She has been hurt, her shoulder is cut, but it is fading. He sees.....I cannot say. His dreams lie, and cause him pain.’
‘I don’t think this dream is a lie.’ Willow’s voice was quiet but resolved. ‘What you see is the truth. It’s alright, Adriana...you can tell. What is hurting him?’
‘He hurts himself...Aie! But now he sees Buffy, and....it is like fire. She is fire to him. She cuts through him.......’ Suddenly she sprang back from her position beside the couch, mouth open wide in shock. She looked at Giles accusingly. ‘This thing is private. I will not look anymore.’
‘Adriana, what we need to know is why Angel won’t wake up. Can you do that?’ Willow sounded urgent. ‘You have seen why - it is for Buffy, Buffy and her baby.’
‘Yes, I see, I will try. But only one more time. It hurts me to do this.’ She resumed her position, and raised her hands above the vampire, this time, both over his heart. ‘Where do you hurt, vampire?’
Willow moved to the head of the couch and placed her hands on Angel’s forehead. ‘Come on, Angel. Show us what we can do.’ Her whisper was clear and Cordelia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Willow gave Adriana an encouraging smile.
The Slayer’s hands dropped. ‘I become him. I am Angelus.’
Angel moaned, and under Willow’s hand his head rocked back and forth. Adriana began to talk rapidly, a low, rattling monotone that hurt the ears of all that heard it.
‘We follow the path of the slides down the mountain. I follow her, there is much blood. Her dress is in the way and I laugh Darla you could be naked here and it wouldn’t matter, to be sure, so why the dress. Because I can, she says and laughs. It is dark now, and I am given to suffer. I love them for cursing me, to atone for all I have done, but my demon fights in me and it is dark. I never did suffer enough. There is a light car window almost too much light and a man and she is there. We follow her New York Los Angeles the Hellmouth and I am rising in her love trying to grip the suffering the despair...No! I don’t want to remember! I don’t want...Schoolgirl! I follow her still. Her puppies her whelps the watching the fighting the hate... I still follow Los Angeles Utah Denver Omaha Chicago Pittsburgh Washington and silver. Silver, in the end. My soul is silver, and I don’t follow anymore.’
Giles could almost hear his heart beating in the silence. He saw tears running unrestrained down Willow’s cheeks and forced himself to concentrate again as Adriana drew a choking breath. When she began to speak again her voice had changed. It was dull, lost and mourning, and the words were far more coherent.
‘My soul is stretched. It has crossed too many times. It is rent, torn apart. It is dying. I can only spiral downwards towards the dark. My demon is gone, never to return, but there is not enough of me left to make up a whole person. I am eternal, I will die forever. I cannot forgive myself for what I have done and I am doomed to remember. I am not whole, I am uma mesa sem vinho..’
Adriana gasped and pulled back from the comatose vampire. She sat back on her haunches and burst into tears. Willow ran to her side and grabbed hold of her, letting her own tears wet the Slayer’s shoulder.
‘I...I am sorry. I could not hold on any longer. I could feel him..searching..moving into me...he took my language to speak - it frightened me. I feel very bad, I will not do such a thing again, it is dangerous.’
‘No, no...I’m sorry, Adriana, I had no idea you could do that, and what would happen.’
‘Miss Buffy she cannot do this thing?’
‘No, I don’t think so, although if she could...symbiose..with a vampire, Angel would be our best bet. You said he took your language to speak?’
‘Uma mesa sem vinho. It means more than just the words. It is a saying of great power to my people. It means to be incomplete, impossible. Angelus found it in my mind.’
‘A table without wine?’ Oz asked. ‘My Portuguese is, well...not.’
‘Yes, but it means more than that. It means hopeless. Mr Giles, your vampire is very sick. He says he is dying. He is dying because he suffers from his mind..his..conscience? That is the word? I do not know what to do for him.’
Willow looked at Giles, who had hung his head. Scully took his hand. ‘I don’t either.’ he said simply.
###
End of Part Eight.
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