When we reach Xander's apartment, Willow's still looking at me like I'm crazy. Buffy hasn't said a word since I laid out my plan, but she's giving me this wide-eyed stare, like I've suddenly grown a new head or something.
I honestly wonder myself if I know what I'm doing. But it's too late to back down once I knock on the door.
Knock, knock, knock.
I wait for a little bit, then knock a second time. Then a third. Finally, I turn to Buffy. "Could you . . .?" I jerk my head toward the door.
After a moment, she nods, and steps forward to take the doorknob. I hear a crunching sound as she turns the knob, and the door opens.
"Thank God he didn't use the deadbolt. I don't want to think how much it would cost for Xander to replace the whole door," she mutters.
"Only about two hundred dollars, Buff," Xander says, from inside "I can hang a door myself, after all. Now why don't you-"
Suddenly the words, "Xander, be quiet," come out of my mouth.
Wow. Did I really say that?
"Xander, you're not to blame for Anya's death. All three of us," I motion to Buffy and Willow, "are here because we care about you, and we hate to see you doing this to yourself."
I walk up to him, and realize for the first time that we're just about the same height. Looking him right in the eye, I add, "And I bet that Anya feels the same way."
He opens his mouth, but I've got the advantage now, and I'm not about to let go of it. "I said be quiet, Xander." I take a deep breath. "Now, I'm so sure that Anya feels that way that I'm going to contact her, right now, and let her give you a piece of her mind. Now, I don't want you to say anything, just nod your head 'yes': If Anya tells you to stop doing this to yourself, will you?"
He's staring at me, his brown eyes open all the way and his mouth hanging open. Wow. I need to learn to put my foot down more often.
Then he nods slowly.
"Okay, then sit down on the floor." He does, and I sit down across from him. "Willow, you come sit on my right; Buffy, here on my left."
I reach into my pocket and pull out a small crystal ball and set it on the floor.
"Am I supposed to look into that?" Xander blurts out.
"No, Xander, you won't see anything. It's just an aid to concentration, for me. And please be quiet now."
Now comes the hard part. I stare at the crystal, focusing my mind on one thought: contacting Anya, wherever she is.
I've done this kind of thing once or twice before, and always I've had to search long and hard before finding any sign of the spirit I'm looking for.
Not this time, though. As soon as I reach the proper state of mind, I feel Anya's spirit touch mine. And as she flows into me, I want to laugh, to sing, to dance.
There's no fury, no wish for vengeance here.
Just worry, love . . . and exasperation.
"Well, it's about time!"
Her voice is coming out of my mouth. I'm just an observer now; for a while at least, Anya's going to be in control of my body.
Xander looks even more stunned than before. "Ahn?" he whispers.
"Xander, you're a wonderful man and I love you. But you're also a fool."
His mouth snaps shut, and I hear his teeth click.
"I didn't plan to die that night, Xander. But I don't regret saving your life for a moment. And I'm going to be very angry with you if you just throw it away!"
Willow and Buffy are gaping at me. I'm silently cheering Anya on.
"Xander, you're an extraordinary man. You taught a former vengeance demon the meaning of love. I can't tell you how many beings up here are amazed that I made it to where I am."
"Up . . . up here?" he chokes out.
"Yes, Xander. Thanks to the noble, self-sacrificing gestures you inspired me to make, I ended my life with a positive balance. You can call me Anya the Angel now."
Now all three of them are gaping at me.
Really? I ask her silently.
Mm-hmm, she replies. Just barely, and it was a really close squeeze at the end . . . I'll tell you in a moment.
"Well, Xander? Satisfied yet?"
His brown eyes are bright with tears. "Ahn . . . thank you."
"For what, Xander? Forgiving you? There was nothing to forgive. If there had been, I would have told you." Then she turns to Buffy. "I think you have something to say to him now."
Buffy turns pale. "What?"
"Buffy, did you really think I wouldn't know? Or that I would be angry? You and Xander have a life to live. I don't." I feel her shrug my shoulders. "Just take him in the other room and talk to him. I have a couple of things to say to Tara and Willow."
She stares at me a moment longer and then gets up. "C'mon, Xander. We have a conversation to finish."
He blinks in confusion, and Anya says, "Go on, Xander."
As they head toward the bedroom door, Anya speaks up suddenly. "Buffy?"
She turns. "Yes, Anya?"
I feel tears begin to form in my eyes. "Take good care of my Xander. Don't let him do any more stupid things like this. Or you'll find out if there are vengeance angels."
Buffy nods. "I promise."
When the two of them are in the next room, Anya sighs. "By D'Hoffryn's beard! I thought you two would never get around to contacting me. I've been practically screaming in your ears for days! And you call yourselves witches!"
Willow looks amused and sorry at the same time. I know how she feels. "I'm sorry. I honestly didn't know."
Anya shrugs my shoulders again. "That's okay. I made the mistake of trying to contact you first, Willow, since you're a bit stronger . . . but I think our spirits are just too incompatible. Thankfully Tara had her ears and her mind open tonight."
I decide to ask Anya something, and she lets me use my mouth so Willow can hear. "Are you really okay with Xander and Buffy?"
My voice switches back to Anya's. "There's something I didn't tell them, because I didn't want to ruin Buffy's surprise for Xander. I did die when those bricks fell on me . . . but that doesn't mean I couldn't have stopped Buffy from taking over my body. If I'd really wanted to be mean, I could've forced her to cross over with me, instead of going back. But I knew how much she meant to Xander, and I sort of liked her myself, so I let her in. Even though I knew that they would eventually get together. That was my last good deed, the one that pushed the balances in my favor.
"However, you'll notice I asked them to step into the next room. I think Xander has to get on with his life, and I know Buffy will be good for him, but that doesn't mean I want to watch her kiss him until he swears to love her forever -- which won't take long, I can promise you. Really, I think she should just have sex with Xander and get it over with, but I think she's going to wait a little while."
Willow gapes, and I feel Anya's silent laughter. Suddenly I realize that Anya's outbursts weren't just a lack of social graces. Some of it had indeed been the ex-demon stumbling her way through the various rules of the human world, but there was a reason why her outrageous sexual statements had gone on for so long after she had outwardly accepted most of the other nuances of public behavior. She simply liked watching our reactions -- she thought they were funny!
As Willow would say, well, duh! she says silently to me. I was elemental and sensual, not stupid! Then after a pause, she added, So this is how it feels to be a lesbian. I don't really want to kiss Willow, but could we go find another girl to kiss before I have to go? I'd like to be able to compare.
If I had control of my body I would blush. Vixen!
Maybe, she replies innocently. Anyway, I do have some news to pass along before I go . . . and I really should go soon. There's this really handsome angel named Doyle -- he says he was a half-demon who worked with Angel -- Buffy's Angel, I mean. We've been swapping stories, and I think we're going to make each other's halos glow soon.
Before I can react, she's talking out loud again. "Willow, there's one important piece of information you need to pass on to Giles. Faith's in Paris, and she's got her Slayer powers back."
"What?"
"Something about her still being the official Slayer -- it's a spiritual thing as well as a physical one -- so when she went into my body she gave it Slayer powers. Buffy couldn't do the same thing since she's already died and had a replacement Called."
"Is Faith hurting people again?"
"No, no, Willow! Faith's still got some problems, but she's basically good now. And all on her own, she's been putting a major dent in the undead population of Europe. But she could use some guidance now, and while I don't like those snooty Watchers, they're the only ones with any experience at handling Slayers."
"Well . . . if she's good," Willow says doubtfully, "shouldn't we be concerned that they'll hurt her?"
"No," Anya says smugly. "Just make sure Giles tells them to send Geoffrey Davies to her. He'll be perfect for the job; he's more open-minded than Mr. Travers or that stick-in-the-mud Philip. And he's also young and handsome, and Faith's been in prison with all women for two years. As soon as she realizes she can trust him, she'll give him so many wonderful orgasms that he'll never let the Council do anything to her again."
Anya's laughing again as she watches Willow choke on that. I silently ask, Is that really such a good idea? I've heard that Faith doesn't really respect the men she takes to bed with her.
Oh, she'll respect Geoffrey Davies. He'll hold out just long enough to show her that he's not just after her body. Seeing Xander again reminded her that there are some good men in this world, and she's really desperate to find one she can trust. She'll wear his resistance down pretty quickly, and they'll be married within a year.
Is that prophecy?
No, just my analysis of their respective hearts and hormones.
Then Anya talks out loud. "Okay, Buffy's finally gotten to the kissing part, and I've passed along my messages, so I'll be going."
Willow nods. "Thank you, Anya. I'm . . . I'm sorry we weren't better friends."
"That's all right, Willow. I wasn't exactly nice to you either. Just remember what I said to Buffy: don't let anything happen to Xander, or I'll find a way to come back. And while you're at it, don't do anything to make Tara cry, either. She's got a very warm, comforting spirit, and I don't want her to ever be unhappy."
I blush.
Willow grins at me. "I promise."
After a moment, I feel Anya leave. "She's gone, Willow."
My lover nods, and reaches out to hug me. "That was a wonderful thing you did for Xander, Tara. Thank you so much!"
I wonder if Anya left a little something behind in me, because I pull back to give Willow this wicked grin and say, "Wanna show me how grateful you are?"
She pulls me close and kisses me. Oh wow, she's really grateful.
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