A Revealing Dream
~Title: A Revealing Dream
~Author: LuckyStarz
~Summary: Buffy has a dream about Spike, but what does it mean? Will she figure it out in time?
~Chapters: 4
~Rating: PG-13
~Pairings: Buffy/Spike
~Category: Drama/Romance
~Spoilers: Mostly up through "The Gift" and a little beyond.
~Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I borrow them for my own enjoyment.
~Email: PunkPrincess41@insightbb.com or spikeslove15@yahoo.com
~A/N: I feel obligated to warn everyone that a character dies in this chapter, but I promise it turns out okay if you keep reading! Enjoy!
Anne K.
Chapter Four: Coming Clean
“I love you, Spike,” Buffy whispered and pressed her mouth against his. She felt her heart expand as her head sang the words she had feared for so long: I love Spike.
Buffy bolted up in her bed, a gasp wrenched from her throat. Her wild eyes roamed over her room as she panted for breath. Her body was shaking, her heart pounding blood in her ears. She shivered as a trickle of cold sweat dripped down her back.
This was the third time she’d had this peculiar dream: the one where she staked Drusilla and confessed her love for Spike. The third time in just a few days. Could it be a sign? Was there a reason she kept having this dream?
She shook her head vigorously. It was just a dream, nothing more. Dreams weren’t real. They were simply images thrown together in no particular fashion by the subconscious mind. They didn’t mean anything, and they certainly weren’t signs pointing out one’s feelings.
She jumped as a knock sounded on her door. “Come in,” she said, a slight waver in her voice.
“Hey,” Willow said as she stepped in the room. “I um, heard you wake up and wanted to make sure you were...you know...okay?”
Buffy nodded. “I’m fine, Wills. Just a bad dream.” She shivered again and rubbed her arm.
Willow sat down beside her and smiled. “Tara’s making pancakes for breakfast. You want some?”
“Sounds good. I’ll uh, be down in a minute.”
Willow nodded but didn’t get up. Her green eyes were filled with concern as she looked at her friend. “You sure you’re okay, Buffy? Do you maybe want to talk about the dream?”
“No!” Buffy replied, a little too quickly. She shrugged and clasped her hands in her lap. “It’s not a big deal. Really.”
“Are you sure it isn’t one of your prophecy dreams? Maybe we should tell Giles...”
“It’s no big, Will. Just a normal bad dream.” She glanced down at her hands and said quietly, “Besides, Giles would freak if he heard I was having fuzzy dreams about Spike.”
“What?”
Buffy’s head snapped up. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Her mouth worked for a second, opening and closing like a fish gasping for breath. “Nothing,” she said finally. “I just said Giles would freak if he thought I was having another prophecy dream. You know Giles. He’d go all book wormy searching for another apocalypse. I don’t think he needs the added stress. Plus, I’m pretty sure this was just an average dream.”
“Well, he does get a little research-happy when the world is about to end,” Willow agreed, “and he has been wound a little tight these days...or tighter. Those British guys are always like that, I guess.”
“Yeah. I wonder why that is?”
Willow shrugged and moved off the bed. “I don’t know. Maybe we should ask him sometime.” She smiled and headed for the door. “I’ll tell Tara you’ll be down in a little while.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The morning went by fairly swiftly. Buffy was a bit dazed as her mind was still contemplating the reoccurring dream. She had tried to push it away and not dwell on it, but no matter how hard she tried it kept forcing its way back.
She had taken Dawn’s advice and stayed away from Spike for two whole days. It didn’t seem like much, but when she considered how hard it had been, she was very proud. Of course, admitting it was hard to stay away from him had given her a slight wiggage.
It should’ve been easy, but there was something between them now that drew her to him. She couldn’t deny anymore that she wanted him. She had done that for a long time, and look where it had gotten her: in his arms and in his bed. Denying things seemed to get her into more trouble than admitting them, so she had decided it was high-time to start being honest with herself.
“Find something interesting, Buff?” Xander asked, breaking into her thoughts.
She stared up at him, confused. “Huh?”
He indicated the book that sat open in front of her. “You’ve been staring at the same page for about ten minutes now.”
Blushing, Buffy turned the page. “I'm spacing out again, aren't I?” She checked her watch. It was nearly seven. “Giles!” She called, and twisted in her chair to face the back room where her Watcher was busy doing inventory. “I’m going on patrol!”
Giles appeared in the doorway, a crystal ball in one hand and a jar of chicken feet in the other. He noted the table where Buffy and Xander sat, piles of books scattered around them. “Have you checked all those books? I need them sorted by tonight.”
Buffy and Xander exchanged a look and glanced at the mountain of books before them. When Giles had asked them to help with the Magic Box’s inventory, they hadn’t expected to sit at a table for hours on end, sorting books into the “safe for customer use” pile and the “Scoobies reference only” pile. It was taking forever to skim through all the books and make sure there were no historical references to apocalypses or other Slayer-related prophecies. Selling a book that told when and how the world was going to end would definitely be not of the good.
“Look at how many there are, Giles,” Buffy whined.
“Yeah, I mean, we’re only two people,” Xander agreed. “You can’t expect us to have *that* big an attention span.”
Giles rolled his eyes. “No, I suppose that would be asking a bit too much, wouldn’t it?”
Buffy pushed away from the table and turned to face him, hands placed firmly on her hips. “It’s almost seven, Giles. Does the word Hellmouth ring a bell? Evil things don’t wait until I finish sorting books to kill.” A pout formed on her lips. “Please, Giles. The books *will* get sorted, I promise. Dawn will be here soon, and so will Willow and Tara. They can help. You don’t really need me.”
“Hey!” Xander protested. “What about me?”
“That’s right, Xander’s still here. He can keep sorting while I go save the innocent people of Sunnydale.”
“Oh, way to watch my back there, Buff,” Xander grumbled and reached for another book.
She flashed him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Xand. It’s every man for himself right now.”
Giles sighed and gave up. “All right, you can go. But as soon as you come back I want you in here sorting!”
Buffy hurried out of the shop, ignoring the last comment from her Watcher. She had more important things to do than sit at a table sorting magic books, and way too much on her mind to concentrate anyway. Fortunately for her, killing things had a tendency to make her forget the whole maelstrom of emotions and thoughts thing.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Spike sat in his armchair, one leg thrown over the armrest and a bottle of beer in his right hand. The television was on in front of him, some sappy soap opera that would normally have driven him nuts. Now, however, his mind wasn’t even on the show.
He could sense her. She was on patrol again, as she had been for the past two nights since he had last seen her. He could hear her movements: the soft rustling of her clothing, the little grunts she made when she lashed out, the dull thud of the stake plunging into a vampire’s chest. He could smell her too; the rush of adrenaline was seeping through her pores and rolling off her in waves. She was getting closer.
He closed his eyes and willed himself to block her out. Every night she had come near his crypt had been torture. His body ached for her. Staying away from her as the Bit had suggested was so very beyond hard. She was in his system, just as he knew he was in hers. He could sense it as she drew even closer. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.
“I think it’s been long enough,” he said to himself as he got up. He set the beer on the table and picked up his duster from the back of the chair. Shrugging into it, he hurried to the door and flung it open.
Buffy faltered at the sound of the heavy metal door swinging open. The stake missed its mark and grazed the shoulder of the vamp she had been fighting. Too late she realized how closely she had been listening for him. She found herself flat on her back; the wind was knocked out of her and a hungry vampire strained for her neck.
Spike lunged forward, knocking the vampire to the ground and rolling quickly back to his feet. He risked a quick look at the Slayer and said, “You all right there, luv?”
Buffy picked herself up and glared at him. “I’m fine.” She stepped forward as the vampire struggled to its feet and plunged the stake in its back. It turned to dust and she tucked the stake into the waistband of her pants. She turned away from him and began walking the way she had come.
Spike hesitated a beat and then jogged after her. “So, what’s the big bad tonight? Something specific or are we just going for any little nasty?”
“*We* are not doing anything,” Buffy said caustically. “*I* am on patrol, and *you* are leaving.”
“Am I now?” Spike said and stepped in front of her. He looked down at her with a sinister grin and said, “And just how do you plan to get rid of me, pet?”
She narrowed her eyes and tried to maneuver around him, but he stepped in front of her again. She sighed in exasperation and said, “I don’t have enough patience for this, Spike. Get out of my way or...”
“Or what?” Spike interrupted. “What’re you gonna do to me, Slayer?” His eyes raked down her body in a very familiar way.
Trying hard to ignore the tiny spiral of heat in her belly, Buffy replied, “Just get out of my way.”
“Why don’t you make me,” he said as he took a step nearer to her. He bent his head down to kiss her, but she pulled away.
“Don’t,” was all she said.
Rejection, Spike found with a grimace, still hurt like hell. He backed away from her, hands in the air. “Have it your way, then.”
Buffy was about to reply when out of the corner of her eye she saw movement. She spun to the right just as a vampire coiled to pounce on her. She delivered two hard punches to its chest and a final kick to knock it down. Before it could roll over and get up, she stood poised above it and slammed the stake down into its chest cavity. The vampire screeched and exploded into a pile of dust.
Buffy groaned as she noticed the dark smears on her white pants. “Great,” she said and tried uselessly to brush the dust off, “now I’ll never get these pants clean.”
“That’s the trouble with us vampires,” Spike said with a smirk as he watched her struggle to clean her pants, “you can never stake us without a little mess.”
Over her shoulder, Buffy scowled at him. “Are you done now?”
Spike’s eyes widened innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Slayer. I’m just out here to kill vampires and the like. Forces of darkness beware and all that rot.”
She smiled despite herself and straightened to face him. “If you insist on tagging along, fine. Just don’t get in my way.” Without waiting for a reply, Buffy started off into the dark cemetery once again.
With a grin of satisfaction, Spike fell into step beside her. He knew she would never admit it to him, but he could tell she enjoyed his company. Well, maybe not so much as enjoy, but she definitely liked slaying with him there better than slaying alone. If nothing else, she went home a little less bruised and sore if he was there.
He gave her a sideways glance, trying to decipher the puzzling code that was Buffy. Maybe she just liked having someone there with her. Being the Slayer got awfully lonely sometimes he’d wager. But he couldn’t help thinking that there was another reason she wanted him with her on patrol.
She grabbed his arm suddenly and looked warily about them. “Did you hear that?”
He stood still for a moment, his ears straining to catch any tiny sound. All he could hear was the faint whistling of the wind and her short, quick breaths next to him. He shook his head. “What was it, pet?”
“I-I don’t know. It sounded like some wailing thing. Is there a demon that wails?” Buffy shook her head and let go of his arm. “Nevermind. Just forget it.”
“Not getting spooked on me, are you, luv?” Spike asked, unable to resist the quip.
She glowered at him. “I am *not* scared. I just thought I heard something, that’s all.”
They started walking again. Buffy could have sworn she heard something, but maybe she was just a little on edge because of Spike. She did tend to get kinda wiggy around him. Everything that had happened between them was making her jumpy in his presence. It was as if she was scared to be alone with him. She was afraid that the things he made her feel would cloud her judgment and make her do something she’d regret. But hey, so far so good. Scary to admit, but she didn’t regret sleeping with him. It had all felt so right, good even.
“So how ‘bout that dream you had?” Spike said. The silence between them was thick with tension and suppressed fear. He wanted to break it...with anything. He realized too late that this subject was only bound to bring up even *more* tension. But the deed was done, and he was getting pretty desperate to find out what she had dreamed about him anyway.
Buffy quickened her pace. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said quietly.
Spike hurried to catch up with her. “I think I deserve to know, Buffy.” He tilted his head to look at her and glimpsed the anger on her face.
“Why?”
He gave a short laugh. “Because it was about *me*. And you were in *my* bed. A bloke’s got to wonder at all that.”
Stopping abruptly, Buffy turned slowly to look at him. Her eyes were wide with fear. “How did you know it was about you?” She asked, her voice barely audible.
Spike shrugged. “Figured it had to be ‘bout me if you were acting all scared and panicky like that. You could’ve just staked me right then, but you were too spooked by the dream to worry ‘bout me. Only thing on your mind right then was getting the hell out so you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me.”
Buffy’s hands went to her hips and she narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know I wasn’t just acting like that because...the other stuff that happened.”
A slow smile spread across his lips. “That was a different kind of fear.”
“What the hell is *that* supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means, pet.”
Buffy rolled her eyes at him. “Well spare me the cryptic , okay?”
“Fine,” Spike replied and crossed his arms over his chest. “It means you have two very different types of fear coursing through your little body right now. The fear of being caught, which is why you’re so quick to run off after we...”
“Moving on,” Buffy interrupted, raising a hand in protest.
Spike smirked at her obvious discomfort with the subject. How quick she was to forget, or perhaps to ignore. He continued his explanation. “The other one, which you probably haven’t recognized yet, is the fear of feeling something for me.”
She opened her mouth to object, but was silenced by a wave of his hand. He was analyzing her so closely, it was almost as if he *knew* everything that she was feeling and thinking.
“That dream was telling you something. There was an obvious point to it, one that you’re bloody horrified to find out.” He canted his head and his eyes roamed over her face, judging the fear in her eyes. His assumptions were dead-on, and she knew it. “You’re afraid of falling in love with me.”
Buffy’s eyes went wide. Her mouth fell open in shock and the color drained from her face. Suddenly her eyes narrowed and her mouth became a grim line. A muscle in her jaw ticked away and her hands clenched into fists. She swung out with her right arm and knocked Spike to the ground. As he hit the dirt, she stepped over him and looked down. “I am *not* in love with you!” She screamed. Her fist came back to hit him again, but she suddenly found herself sitting on top of his chest. He had knocked her legs apart and she had lost her balance and fallen on top of him.
Spike grabbed her wrists and held them firmly with both hands. “Did I scare you, luv?” He asked and chuckled as she attempted to jerk away.
She fought to tug her arms free, but his grip on her wrists was merciless. Planting her boots firmly on the ground, she pushed herself up and was standing over him again. “You’re disgusting, Spike,” she whispered harshly. Then, straining the muscles in her arms, she yanked him up and hurled him to the side.
He landed hard and rolled to his feet. A dark scowl contorted his face. “*I’m* disgusting?” He advanced on her, a predatory glint in his dark blue eyes. “What does that make *you*? If I’m so disgusting, why do you keep coming back? Why do you like it so much?”
Tears stung the backs of Buffy’s eyes. He was getting too close to things she was not ready to examine yet. First he had laid her entire heart bare, forcing her to stare at everything that was so obvious, yet obscured by her vision. Now he was questioning her, turning the whole thing back to her, making it out to be her fault. He was forcing her to see what he knew was true, what she was too scared to admit.
“Stop it!” She yelled. She dropped her chin to her chest and the tears spilled down her cheeks. “Please, just stop.”
The anger melted away. Spike stared at her helplessly, torn between staying where he was and pulling her into his arms. She was terrified. Somehow, he’d made her understand how everything she was going through added up, and she was terrified by it. She’d been running away from the truth for so long she’d actually managed to convince herself that the lies she told *were* the truth. Now, not only would she have to convince her friends, she would have to convince herself. This was not something she could adjust to in one night. This was going to take time and patience, but most of all it was going to take her cooperation. He couldn’t make her want to see the truth. All he could do was show her that this was right.
“Buffy,” he said softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so brassed off.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.
Buffy took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She squared her shoulders and walked past him without even glancing in his direction.
Spike looked up at the starry sky and exhaled deeply. He blinked several times, wishing silently that he hadn’t been so harsh with her. Finally he turned in the direction she had gone and ran after her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A small figure sat in the center of a dark room, surrounded by glowing candles and a circle of white chalk. In front of the figure sat a porcelain bowl. A piece of paper leaned against it, two names scrawled neatly on the lines, separated by a heart. As the candles around the sacred circle flickered, a tiny hand dribbled pig’s blood into the bowl and chanted a strange phrase in a foreign language. It then picked up a silver cross, kissed it, and dipped it into the bowl. The cross dripped with blood as it was pulled out and dangled in a tight circle above the bowl.
“For you, Buffy,” the figure said. “To make you see. To make you understand.” The necklace was draped around the bowl. “I conjure this spell for you. I summon this creature for you. To make you see.”
The figure picked up the piece of paper. “For you, Spike. She will see. She will understand.” The paper was ripped in half, one name on each half and the heart ripped in two. The figure dipped two fingers into the blood and smeared a sticky cross on each half of the paper. Then, carefully folding them into tiny squares, tossed them into the bowl. A sudden gust of cold air smelling of decay pitched the room into complete blackness.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“I swear I heard something that time,” Buffy said, pulling out her stake. She and Spike had been walking in silence for several minutes now. She figured he felt guilty for making her cry, and that was fine with her. As long as he didn’t bring up the subject again, she was just peachy. A little on edge still, but at least she wasn’t mad anymore, or being forced to scrutinize her feelings for him.
“So did I,” Spike replied, searching the darkness for some sign of movement.
“See, I *told* you I heard something before,” Buffy said triumphantly, flashing him a smug grin. As the wailing and screeching intensified she said, “That’s exactly what I heard the first time.”
“Where’s it coming from?” Spike asked, craning his neck to see farther.
Buffy looked around them. There seemed to be no sign of life...or un-life rather. The cemetery was silent and still. Nothing around them was moving, including the wind. She closed her eyes, trying to sense where the noise was coming from with her Slayer-skills. Slowly she turned until she seemed to be facing directly in front of the sound. Opening her eyes, she pointed ahead of her and said, “Somewhere down there.”
The blonde duo cautiously headed in the direction in which Buffy had pointed. The path they had been walking on twisted, but they continued in a straight line, veering off into the overgrown expanse of grass. The noise seemed to grow louder with each step they took, which proved that Buffy had chosen the correct direction. The mixture of wailing and screeching made the hairs stand up on Buffy’s neck. She shivered and cast a wary eye on Spike. “What do you think it is?”
He shrugged, pulling out his own stake from somewhere inside his duster. “Not sure. Never heard anything like it.”
“Me either.”
Buffy’s grip on her stake tightened. Fighting things she had never seen before was a definite challenge. Often not a very fun one. She sometimes enjoyed slaying the vampires of Sunnydale because they presented no challenge. She knew exactly what their weaknesses were and she struck out at those weaknesses. With new monsters, she couldn’t count on the same methods she used killing vampires. A new creature like this one was unpredictable.
“Well this is just dandy,” Spike grumbled. “Creature’s got itself a nice little cave.”
“Guess that means we have to go down there, huh?” Buffy said, cocking her head to the side and peering inside the cave. “Think it lives in there?”
“Yeah, that’d be my guess since the sound is coming from there,” Spike replied sarcastically.
She ignored his comment and began climbing inside. “Let’s go find this thing.”
“You don’t know what’s down there,” he called after her and grabbed her shoulder.
“Well I can’t just stay up here and do nothing. Something evil could be down there.” She shrugged him off and continued down into the cave. “You coming?” She asked over her shoulder.
He sighed and shook his head. “So much for protecting you from the unknown,” he mumbled as he followed her retreating form.
Inside the cave was dim and damp. The noise they had been following was growing progressively louder and more annoying. The path they seemed to be traveling down was very narrow. Buffy could see a distant shimmer of light ahead of them. She looked back at Spike. “I think it’s down there.”
Spike nodded. “Sounds like it might be. Bloody hell that thing is annoying!”
Buffy smiled back at him. “Tell me about it.”
His eyes softened. “Buffy, what I said before...”
“Shh...not now, Spike.” She glanced at him and indicated the light. “We have more important things to take care of right now.” She turned back around and said quietly, “We’ll do the whole kiss and make up thing later.”
A tender smile touched Spike’s lips. He decided against baiting her with that statement she had just made, figuring getting into battle-mode was probably best. After the battle though, well, that was another story.
They stopped abruptly as the narrow path widened and became a small cavern. They noticed that the light they had followed turned out to be a few glowing torches in the cave wall. They had come to a fork in the road. Dark winding tunnels were on either side of them, and the noise seemed to be coming from both.
“Should we split up?” Buffy asked as Spike came up beside her. “The noise seems to be down both tunnels. Maybe there’s more than one of these things.”
Not wanting to lose sight of her, Spike said, “If there’s more than one I’d wager it’d be easier to fight them if there were more than one of us. Neither one of us knows what’s down there. Could be any number of nasties.”
Although she had a feeling the only reason Spike did not want to split up was to drag out being with her, he did have a good point. More than one beastie would be hard to fight alone, especially when she had no idea what beastie was down there. “Let’s take the right one first.”
Together they started down into the dark tunnel. The screeching and wailing fluctuated from seeming very near to very far away. Buffy held her stake at the ready, her eyes darting around for some sign of the demon. Spike was a bit more casual. His stake was held loosely at his side; his eyes kept straight ahead of them. As they neared a bend in the tunnel, the noise stopped, and so did they.
“Do you think it knows we’re here?” Buffy asked, craning her neck to see around the bend. “Maybe it heard us.”
Spike didn’t answer, but he did grip his stake tighter. Whatever was down there probably had at least some clue they were there.
Cautiously, the two of them headed around the bend. Buffy was wary of the unexpected silence. She was suddenly very glad that Spike had come with her. Not that she couldn’t handle this thing alone of course. It was oddly comforting, though to have him beside her.
Battle tactics, she told herself fiercely. Stop thinking about him and concentrate on the screechy, wail-y demon down there.
She blinked several times and shoved thoughts of Spike away for the moment. How strange that she always seemed to think about him when things got rough, or when she was lonely. Briefly she wondered if there was a reason for that.
Demon!! Her mind screamed, and she forced herself to pay attention.
The tunnel was beginning to straighten. Ahead, Buffy could see another dim glimmer of light. She hoped it would not lead them into another tunnel. She wanted this thing over now. The longer she had to wait to kill it, the more apprehensive she became.
Spike sensed her distress and shared the feeling. He had never really enjoyed this game of hide-and-seek. Hunting was all about the kill for him, or it used to be, before he fell in love with Buffy. Now it was all about protecting her and saving the world. Funny how love changed everything.
Finally, the end of the tunnel had come. Buffy looked around for the big bad they had chased. It was nowhere to be found. From what she could see, there was no one else in the cave with them. They stood now in a large cavern with a high ceiling and rocks jutting from the floor. The glow of light she had seen earlier had grown brighter, but the source of it could not be seen. She peered up at the ceiling, praying there wasn’t a hole filtering in some nice sunshine to burn her companion to a crisp. All she could see were more jutting rocks dripping with water and making puddles on the ground. The place appeared to be empty; save for the two blondes staring curiously about them.
A soft rustling of the air around her made Buffy jump. Something flew past her face and landed with a dull thud behind her. She whipped around, looking for the object that had very nearly hit her. “Did you see...” She asked Spike, but stopped instantly when she saw him.
The shaft of an arrow protruded from his chest. His azure eyes were huge with pain and shock. He looked at her and tears slid down his cheeks. His mouth worked as he stumbled backward, but all he could say was, “Buffy.” He hit the wall of the cave and exploded in a cloud of dust.
Buffy gaped at the empty space Spike had just vacated. Her mouth hung open in horror and a sharp pain constricted her chest. Slowly she moved forward, her eyes drifting down to the pile of dust that was now Spike. Her lips trembled as she formed his name and she called to him in a whisper. Tears welled in her eyes and began spilling down her face. She let them flow, too stunned to care. “Spike?” She croaked, her throat constricting from the pain blossoming in her chest. “Spike?” She fell to her knees, sobs wrenching her body with their force. She rocked back and forth, murmuring his name repeatedly as the tears continued to flow unchecked. Her chest was burning and heaving for breath. She ignored it and closed her eyes and sobbed into her hands.
How long she sat there crying, she never knew. She stopped when there was no more tears left and her throat was raw and scratchy. Moving as if she was in slow motion, her hands came away from her face and she stared at the remains of Spike. The pain in her chest had not gone away, but it was now joined by another burning emotion. Buffy recognized the anger brimming inside her as she stood up and looked around. Something inside this cave had killed Spike, and she was going to find it.
She bent down and picked up the stake she had dropped sometime during the commotion. Her eyes searched the cave with a fierce, predatory glint and her ears strained for any sound. She heard a faint shuffling in a far corner and she grasped the stake so tightly her knuckles turned white. Stealthily she stalked forward. The shuffling seemed to be coming from one of the large rocks protruding from the ground. Buffy crouched behind it, her body poised for the kill.
Just as the cloaked head of the demon poked out from behind the rock, she pounced. She knocked it down, grappled with it for a few seconds, and finally pinned it to the earth. Bright, iridescent green eyes stared at her from within the hood.
Buffy brought the stake back as her eyes locked on the demon. She prepared to release all the anger and pain Spike’s dusting was making her feel in one fluid movement. She fervently hoped that avenging his staking would make her feel better.
As she pulled her arm back even farther, the demon spoke. “My task has been accomplished.” With that said, its eyes glowed even brighter, making Buffy squint, and it vanished.
She landed in the dirt and sat there for a moment, taking in what the demon had said. Task? Someone wanted Spike dusted? Who would do that? Who would summon something like that to kill her Spikey?
Shakily, Buffy got to her feet. She stumbled over to Spike’s ashes, her limbs feeling numb. Falling to her knees again, she began to scrape the dust together in a pile. She pulled off her backpack and dug inside for something to hold his remains. She found an empty bottle of holy water and quickly dried the inside with her shirt.
When she was sure there were no more droplets of water left, she scooped the dust into the bottle. She was careful to get every last bit of him inside...she didn’t want a partial-Spike; only the whole Spike would do.
Finally she twisted the lid closed and smiled sadly at the jar. “It’ll be okay, Spike,” she muttered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy pounded on her door, too distracted to hunt for her keys. She saw lights turn on and heard Willow as she rushed down the stairs.
“Buffy! Are you okay?” Willow exclaimed as she thrust the door open. “It’s late. We’ve been worried sick about you. What is that?” Willow pointed to the jar Buffy held and gazed quizzically at her.
Stepping inside her home, Buffy gave her friend a tired smile. “I know it’s late,” she said dazedly. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I didn’t want to search for my keys.”
“It’s okay,” Willow assured her and led her to the couch, “as long as *you’re* okay.”
Buffy nodded, not hearing a word Willow said. She sat down, clutching the bottle to her, and stared around her, almost as if she didn’t recognize anything. Finally she mumbled, “Is Dawnie asleep?”
“Yeah, for a couple of hours now,” Willow said distractedly. She pointed again to the bottle. “Buffy, what is that?”
Eyes brimming with tears, Buffy shook her head. “Later, Will. There’s something...there’s something I have to tell everybody.”
Willow could sense that something was wrong. A thread of panic crept through her. She frowned. “What’s wrong, Buff?”
Buffy gazed at the floor, her mind numb and her insides twisting into knots. “I need to tell them,” she repeated. “They have to know. They have to help.”
“Help? Buffy, what’s going on? Buffy?” Willow’s voice was steadily becoming more frightened.
“I have to tell them,” Buffy said again as she glanced at Willow.
“Okay, there’s something you need to tell everyone, I got that,” Willow replied as she watched her friend with increasing alarm.
Buffy frowned and looked around the room. “Where are they?”
Willow placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “They’re sleeping. Can you tell them in the morning?”
“They have to help,” Buffy whimpered and pressed the jar closer against her. “They *have* to.”
Sensing the despair that Buffy was going through, Willow told her to stay put. She dashed up the stairs and burst into her room, startling Tara.
“Willow! God, what’s wrong?” Tara asked in alarm.
“It’s Buffy,” Willow explained. “She’s downstairs with a bottle of I-don’t-know-what and crying about telling everyone something.”
Tara slid off the bed and shrugged into her robe. “What’s wrong with her? I mean w-what happened?”
Willow shook her head. “I-I don’t know. She was...she’s just...”
“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” Tara murmured and smoothed the hair back from Willow’s face. “We’ll help. Whatever it is, we’ll help.”
Sniffling back her tears, Willow nodded. “Yeah, we’ll help. You go downstairs and keep her company, see if you can get anything out of her. I’ll wake up Dawnie and call the others.”
Both women moved out of the room. As Tara neared the stairs, she turned around and asked, “Should we tell Spike? I mean, maybe he’d want to be here?”
Willow considered this. “I guess. Maybe he could help or something?”
Tara nodded. “Should we send someone over there to get him?”
“I’ll tell Giles to stop by there,” Willow said and smiled dryly. “I would tell Xander but I’m afraid he wouldn’t relate the message to Spike.”
“That’s probably best,” Tara agreed and started down the stairs. She found Buffy in the same disoriented state Willow had described. She tried her best to get something coherent out of her, but Buffy was too dazed to say much.
Meanwhile, Willow woke up Dawn and called the rest of the Scoobies. She explained as much of the story as she could and quelled any fears that Buffy wouldn’t be okay. She didn’t need to express how urgent this was; everybody seemed to understand that their friend was in trouble and needed them right away.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Within the hour, the rest of the Scooby gang was assembled at the Summer’s house. They sat in the living room, quietly watching Buffy as she mumbled to herself and clutched at the bottle of dust. A strong feeling of anxiety overcame everyone as they studied her strange behavior.
Giles was the last to arrive. He burst through the door, looking wildly about for his Slayer. When he saw her seated safely on the couch, he let out the breath he’d been holding.
“Giles,” Willow said as she came to meet him. “Where’s Spike?”
“I’m not sure, exactly,” Giles said as he entered the room and took a seat next to Buffy. “He wasn’t at his crypt when I went there.”
“We don’t *really* need Peroxide Guy here, do we?” Xander asked.
Willow flashed him a look that said pointedly, “Shut up or I’ll have to hurt you.”
Xander obeyed and crossed his arms over his chest. He was definitely worried about Buffy and would do anything to help her, but he figured bringing Spike into the whole situation would just make things worse. She didn’t seem to like talking about him these days, and he was inclined to believe that was entirely Spike’s fault. Besides, he happened to hate that particular vampire with a passion.
“Buffy, are you all right?” Giles asked gently as he looked at her.
She turned her head to face him and smiled. “Hi, Giles.”
He smiled back. “Hello, Buffy.” He glanced down at the bottle of ashes and asked quietly, “What’re you holding?”
Buffy sniffled and hugged the jar tighter. “I have to tell everyone.”
Willow moved closer to her friend and gently squeezed her shoulder. “We’re all here, Buffy,” she said and indicated the full room. “You can tell us now.”
Unsteadily, Buffy got to her feet. She held the bottle closely to her chest as she looked around the room at all her friends. They were all in their pajamas, waiting nervously for her to speak. In the back of her mind she understood that they must care a lot about her to come so quickly. She hoped she wouldn’t disappoint anyone when she had said what she needed to.
“S-Something happened on patrol tonight,” she started, her voice shaky with emotion. She closed her eyes and willed herself to stay calm. Breaking down and crying in front of everyone would only make the story harder to relate. She took a deep, calming breath and continued, telling them everything that had happened in the cave. At the point of Spike’s death, her throat caught and she had to pause as a few tears slipped unnoticed down her cheeks.
Silence filled the room as she concluded. Everyone, even Xander, was shocked to the core. As Buffy gazed around at them, she tilted the bottle a bit to bring everyone’s attention to it and said, “This is...this is...” But she couldn’t get the words out. She choked on his name and more tears streamed down her face.
Willow pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay, sweetie,” she mumbled soothingly as she stroked Buffy’s hair.
Grateful for the comfort, she sank into Willow’s arms and cried.
“Buffy, there’s something I have to tell you,” Dawn said shyly as she approached them.
Buffy gently tugged herself free from the embrace and wiped the tears away. “What is it, Dawnie?”
Dawn took a deep breath and prayed for courage. “I cast the spell that summoned that demon,” she said in a rush. “I swear I didn’t know what would happen! I swear!”
It took a moment for this news to sink in. Once it had, Buffy’s eyes were hard as they looked at her sister. “How could you do that? Spike was good to you. How could you, Dawn?”
Tears ran swiftly down Dawn’s cheeks. “I didn’t know what would happen! The spell said it would make you understand. I never wanted to hurt Spike! I promise!”
With great effort, Buffy forced herself to calm down. Dawn had gotten into trouble before without knowing what the consequences were. She was just a kid, after all.
“Make her understand what, Dawn?” Willow asked.
“The way she feels,” Dawn whispered and looked sheepishly up at her sister. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I just wanted everything to work out between you and Spike.”
Puzzlement was written plainly on everyone’s face, except Buffy’s. She forced a half-smile as she whispered, “I do understand. It wasn’t the spell, Dawnie. I knew before then, I was just too scared to admit it.”
Dawn gave her a worried little smile in return. She knew that Buffy was still very upset at everything that had happened, but she also knew that Buffy had just forgiven her. Or, at least partially forgiven her. Spike was gone and now that Buffy understood she loved him, he wasn’t there for her to tell. More tears rolled slowly down her cheeks as she whispered an apology.
“I know you are, Dawnie,” Buffy said softly.
“Is anyone else here really confused?” Xander asked as he watched the exchange take place between the two sisters.
“I am, sweetie, don’t worry,” Anya said beside him and patted his arm.
Buffy turned away from her sister and faced her bewildered friends. “We have to bring him back,” she announced.
The entire room erupted in objections. Buffy stood silently, a stony look on her face. She had made up her mind a long time ago. Spike was coming back, even if she had to do it herself.
“You want him back?” Xander cried in disbelief. “Why do you want him back after all that he’s done to you?”
Buffy looked down at the bottle of Spike’s ashes pressed firmly against her chest. A soft, serene smile touched her lips as she said, “Because I love him.”
“You *what*?” The entire room erupted at once.
“I don’t have time to explain,” Buffy said. “We have to bring him back before it’s too late.” Her eyes drifted to his dust and she mumbled, “I don’t even know if it’s already too late.”
Willow stepped forward, a determined set to her features. “We’ll bring him back, Buffy. I promise.”
“Do you know of a spell?” Giles asked. “I’ve never read of a spell that can bring...vampires back.”
Willow nodded. “There was a book at the Magic Box...it deals with Black Magic. Maybe there’s something in it about this kind of spell.”
“Even if there was a book with this spell, I’m not sure we could cast it.” Giles took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. All this excitement was going to give him a headache. “If there was a spell, it would be very dangerous. We’d need all sorts of supplies that I haven’t the faintest clue if I own.”
“Please, Giles,” Buffy pleaded, her hazel eyes filling with tears. “Please, we have to try.”
“Am I the only sane one here?” Xander asked and gestured around the room. “Do any of you remember what Spike put us all through? He nearly killed us! Quite a few times!”
Buffy faced him, her eyes hardening and her mouth set in a grim line. “Xander, practically everyone in this room has put us all in danger and nearly killed us.”
“But Spike is...”
“Spike is no different,” Buffy snapped. “I love him, just as I love you and everyone here.” Her voice softened a little but her eyes were still unwavering as she said, “We’ve given everybody else a second chance. I think we owe Spike that.”
Xander calmed down and gave her a small smile. “You’re right, Buff. I’m sorry. I’ll help you in any way I can.”
She smiled. “Thanks, Xan. I know you don’t like him, but it means a lot to me.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Willow was right. The spell was briefly mentioned in one of the Blackest Magic books at the shop. There were no accounts of it having been completed successfully, which didn’t inspire much hope among those gathered.
Buffy was unshakable. She had sworn to bring Spike back, and she was willing to do anything to fulfill her promise.
As the last of the ingredients were gathered, a hush fell over the Magic Box. All those present sat in the sacred circle, holding hands with their heads bowed. Willow said it would take everyone’s energy combined to make the spell work. She, Tara, and Giles sat in the center with Spike’s ashes in the middle of them.
Willow and Tara began reading from the book as Giles spread Spike’s dust on the ground. Everyone else started chanting, their eyes shut tightly and their hands beginning to sweat. When the ashes were spread, the three in the center joined hands and lifted their faces to the ceiling. They called out, asking for Spike to be returned. A flow of heat passed through the circle. They called out again, louder and more demanding. Another wave of heat, hotter and more intense. They screamed out a third time as an unseen force shook the building and Spike’s ashes began to smolder. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of heat, so hot it felt as if it were burning them alive. Then, the circle collapsed, exhausted from their spell-casting.
When she had regained enough strength to move, Buffy opened her eyes and sat up. Her head was pounding and her skin felt sensitive to the touch. She glanced down at her arms and saw they were blistered red. Her eyes snapped up and locked on the center of the circle. A sob caught in her throat and tears streamed down her face.
Spike sat in the center of everything, one hand to his head and his eyes closed. He figured he must’ve been out for some time and wondered if he’d frightened Buffy fainting like that. Slowly his eyes opened and he stared around him. “What the hell?”
“Spike?”
He turned at the sound of his name. She was staring at him as if she hadn’t seen him in days and tears were running in rivulets down her cheeks. He felt a pang of guilt in his gut. “Buffy, I’m sorry, pet. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”
She pushed herself to her feet and dove into his arms. “You’re okay,” she murmured as she lavished his face with kisses.
Spike hadn’t the faintest clue what was going on, but he really didn’t care. He hugged her tightly to him and captured her wandering lips with his. He tasted the salty tears on her lips, mingling with their original sweetness. The combination made him hunger for more. He growled low in his chest and danced his fingers up and down her spine.
It felt so good to be in his arms again, kissing him without a care in the world. The ache in her chest was gone, replaced by the comfortable swelling of her heart. Buffy didn’t want to break contact with him, but she needed to tell him. Gently she pushed away and twined her fingers in his. “Spike, there’s something I need to tell you.”
He frowned. Talking with Buffy usually led to fighting with Buffy, which was not at all what he wanted to be doing with her at the moment. As her fingers twined around his, he looked into her eyes and wondered what was going on.
Buffy smiled and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Her eyes passed over his face as she memorized every curve and slant. Finally she said, “I love you, Spike.”
Spike closed his eyes as the words echoed in his head. He smiled serenely and when he opened his eyes, they were shiny with unshed tears. He dipped his head and kissed her, a thorough, claiming kiss that told her plainly she was his. As he broke away and wrapped his arms securely around her, he asked, “When did you finally realize it, luv?”
Buffy laid her head against his chest and placed a hand over his unbeating heart. “I had a dream...”
~~~The End~~~
So, what did you think? This was my first fanfiction so please review with any suggestions or comments that you have! I would greatly appreciate them!! Thanks!!!
Anne K.
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