Alexander Harris was not impressed and more than a little worried, and from the look on Buffy Summers face, neither was she. The object of their mutual consternation sat munching on her lunch in total distraction. She looked like hell, too, Xander noted with a frown. "She's still not okay, y'know." He muttered to the Slayer.
Buffy flicked him a quick look. "Yeah. But she won't say what's eating her." Belatedly, she winced at the poor choice of words. "Not that something is literally 'eating' her, I hope." Xander, she knew, would be turning green as dinner memories, where he was to be the main course, came hauntingly back.
Willow, oblivious to their concern, just munched on. Buffy was willing to bet everything she owned that Willow couldn't even tell anyone what type of sandwich she had. Pale, disoriented, and exceedingly skittish, Willow was been backsliding into the painfully shy girl Buffy first met. And her health was also slipping. Yesterday, during her spare, Willow had passed out in the library. And it was only Wednesday. *God only knows, at this rate, she'll be hospitalized by Friday.*
Giles and Ms. Calendar were even concerned about the young hacker. Willow, on the whole, was always bright, cheerful with a ready smile to dole out. But when she came to school last Thursday, she seemed a little overtired. By Monday, she was jumpy and exhausted. When she collapsed in the library, Giles had discreetly removed her to his office, and closed the library. According to Buffy's Watcher, Willow had woken up some twenty minutes later, screaming in apparent agony.
It was agreed that something was seriously disturbing Willow, but as yet, the adults were unwilling to consider it was supernatural in nature. Buffy was worried, with all the strange things happening in Sunnydale of late, that Willow's problems were connected. Their biggest difficulty lay in the fact that no one knew what it was affecting Willow.
Consequently, Xander had been given the fun task of investigating happenings at home. Willow hadn't even _cared_ that Xander was following her like a faithful puppy, and spending a great deal of time with her after school. That, more than anything, had convinced Buffy the world was truly about to end.
Xander had escorted her right home, Friday night, and spent dinner with her family. Over the weekend, he had been her virtual shadow. Monday and Tuesday, he had dinner with her family again, and stayed after allegedly for 'help' on his homework. He actually had his biology homework done, and his parents were in danger of forgetting that they had a son, but he had still learned nothing revealling on Willow's homefront.
And Willow was only getting worse. This morning, Buffy could have sworn someone had punched Willow, the skin under her eyes was so dark, and her face so pale. "This has got to end." Buffy muttered, earning a 'no kidding!' snort from Xander.
Xander grumbled something, trotting off to sit beside Willow. Buffy shook her head bemused, if Willow had been even slightly more with it, she would have swooned from all the TLC she was getting out of Xander. Unfortunately, she was so distracted, most times, she wasn't aware that he was shadowing her so closely.
Slowly, Buffy wandered over to join them. She felt so useless. She could slay vampires, fight invisible girls, she-mantis' and all sorts of other supernatural odds'n' sods, but was clueless as to how to help Willow.
* * *
In a distant corner of her mind, Willow was aware of her friends concern. And she did take comfort from it. But she was so tired, and yet, the nightmares just loomed, waiting for her eyes to drift shut. It felt like she'd been seeing her friends, and families deaths in her dreams for years now, not just eight days.
And the physical toll it was having on her was brutal. Cordelia would only have to glance at her to reduce Willow to tears, her appetite was dropping off tremendously, and her schoolwork was suffering badly.
The doctor she had seen had given her some sedatives, but they were worse. After taking a sedative and going to sleep she found she was trapped in those nightmares. Waking up screaming was one thing, but screaming and unable to wake up.... A shudder rippled through her body, and a jacket fell across her shoulders with Xander's scent on it.
Jerking her consciousness back to the real world she became aware of Buffy and Xander sitting beside her, Xander on her right, Buffy in the front of her. Meeting Buffy's eyes for a brief second, Willow also caught the hurt in them when she unintentionally flinched away. Buffy was hunting, but this time for whatever it was that was hurting her friend.
"Sorry," Willow whispered, trying to take away the hurt.
Buffy reached out and took her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "It's okay." Taking the opportunity, she moved slightly closer, and while not letting go of Willow's hand, she eased her grip on it. "Willow, I know you don't want to, but...please tell us what's bothering you?"
Willow just shook her head negatively. "It's nothing."
"Like hell!" Xander cursed softly, not wanting his friend to be startled. "It's not 'nothing', and I for one don't care if it's something as small as spiders or ants, or whatever. Something has your cage so rattled it's making you sick!" He softened his voice more, and nudged her gently,"We're your best friends, Willow. You are important to us. Trust us."
Willow was somewhat surprised at Xander's response. Oh, not that he didn't care, or wasn't a good friend, but this consuming need to help her...that was new. Normally he just offered sympathy and a witty, if inane comment. Despite his concern, she still just shook her head, "No. Nothing's bothering me. I--I'm just having problems sleeping."
Buffy, as could be expected, jumped on this. "Problems? What kind of problems?" Her sharp gaze grew pensive as she mentally listed possibilities.
Willow sighed softly, her shoulder slumping. Xander wrapped a arm around her shoulders, offering her his strength, and comfort. Ironically, something she would have died for, under normal circumstances, but right now, just wanted the warm comfort of her friend. "I---it's--uh, just, umm...insomnia. My doctor gave me some sedatives, but, they um, don't agree with me." Clearly, she could see that Buffy and Xander didn't buy this. But they also weren't willing to call her a liar.
Dropping her gaze to her lap, Willow felt Buffy's slim hand catch her chin and raise it so their eyes met again. "And there's been no nightmares?", she asked, tilting her head and leaning forward.
Willow felt the panic attack rise up, and forcibly held it back. "No...not really...maybe once...or twice." *A night* she silently added. Over her head, she knew Buffy and Xander were exchanging glances, and probably would have shared thoughts, if she hadn't been sitting right there. Xander's grip tightened, and even as he was about to speak, Willow was saved by the bell. Jumping up with more energy than she actually had, she scooped her lunchbag, and schoolbag together, letting Xander's jacket fall off her shoulders and onto the table.
"Umm...I've, uh, gotta get to class." she said with as much strength as she could muster. Then softer, almost a whisper, "I'll see you guys later." She turned on heel, and nearly ran to the school.
Xander picked up his light jacket with an angry violence. "She lied to us!" He nearly shouted. For the life of himself, he couldn't understand it. Willow was falling apart,and instead of asking for help, or talking about it, she was covering it up.
Buffy placed a restraining hand on his arm, the other hand lowering her sunglasses into place on the bridge of her nose. "Yes. She did. But, we know she did. So, we can go to Giles with this information and figure out how to help her." She flashed him a bright smile, "Don't worry, Xander, Willow will be okay! We'll make sure she is!".
End Part One
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