“Wow,” she said sarcastically. “Another rock wall.” Buffy looked around, saw a bomb flower, and uprooted it easily. She threw it and ran in the other direction. When the bomb exploded, they got their first good look at the cavern: vast, dead, and… red?
“Don’t fall off the edge. Lava pits everywhere.”
“Nice. Thanks, Mayor guy. Because my feet weren’t burning enough as it was.” Buffy stepped forward and noticed the huge Chirago skeleton dead ahead. Its empty eyes seemed to stare at every part of the room at once. It freaked her out. On either side of her was a door, but there were lava pits in between her and either door. “What the hell? How do we even get across?”
“Elevating platforms,” Angel said dully. “You’re getting less and less observant as time goes on.”
“I guess I got used to your frequent patronization.”
“Stop with the big words and make with the saving the world already.”
Buffy rolled her eyes but jumped forward into the centre platform in front of the giant Chirago skull. A statue in the centre of the platform she hadn’t noticed before suddenly blinked and shot light at her feet.
“Oh shit,” she said, and started running around the statue clockwise. The light chased her just as quickly as she was running away. “What do I do?!”
“Wesley flashes!”
“That’s nice Angel, you big perv, but how do I kill this thing?”
“The… flash bombs the Wesleyplants give you.”
“Oh. OH. Wesley flashes. Right.” She pulled one out and threw it on the ground for lack of better thing to do with it. The statue made a noise that might have been in pain and closed its eye tightly. The light discontinued, and Buffy stopped to catch her breath.
“Hold on, that only stuns it. It’ll wake up in a while and chase you again. You have to bomb it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?”
“Because you running and trying to throw a bomb at the same time is not something I want to be around for.”
“Ha-ha. Make fun of the big damn hero. You know, if I had it my way I’d be frolicking through Sacred Forest Meadow with Xander, but noooo, I have to save the world and stuff. Stupid endangered Sunnydale.”
“Getting cranky, are we? There aren’t any bombs near enough for you to bomb it with anyway. Now hop one way or another before it wakes up and we have to go through all this again.”
Buffy jumped to her left and noted that there were three doors, two rocked in and one with bars, and another of the statues. She shrugged and bombed the wall to the left to find a squeaking Watchershrub of a new calibur behind it. “Uh… hi.”
“If you let me go, I’ll make you a deal!”
“Oh boy. Another talking Watcherplant. What is with these dungeons and negotiating plants? I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I’ll sell you a basic shield! One for—”
“Thanks but no thanks. I’ve got enough to carry.”
“Yikes! I’m getting out of here, then!”
“Okey-dokey.” Buffy walked away from the plant and bombed the second door, narrowly avoiding the sight line of the eye-statue. She scurried into it when the bomb exploded and opened the chest inside.
“You’ve found an Interactive Map! Use this to navigate your way around this particular area. Rooms will not show up unless you’ve been in them, but the room you’re in will flash to help you with navigation.”
“That’s the exact same explanation you gave last time.”
“So? I like that explanation.”
“But I heard it already. I already know what an Interactive map does.”
“Whine, whine, whine. And you yelled at me for being annoying.”
Buffy scowled at her fairy but realized he was probably right and tried to lighten her mood by humming as she jumped a couple of platforms and avoided the eye statue. Seeing another few doors and realizing she couldn’t reach the second one, she decided to bomb from the right this time. She outran the light from the eye statue and waited for the explosion. A passage opened up and Buffy walked through it.
A third of the way down the corridor, a bit of dust was kicked up and what looked like three very short sumo wrestlers popped up from the ground and ran at her. She judged that they were angry judging by the strange knashing of teeth that was going on. She took out her sword and struck the first one down. It fell onto its back and flailed its limbs for a while.
“Step back, he’s going to explode,” Angel realized suddenly. Buffy managed to outrun the other two tiny squealing sumo wrestlers as a small explosion was heard behind her.
“What are they?”
“Baby Chiragos.”
“Uh-huh, okay. And why do they explode?”
“They get cranky when they land on their backs because they can’t get back up again. Another three should pop up before you get to the end, so either make short work of them or run faster.”
She fought them, finding she was partially disgusted and partially amused at the demonic sumo wrestlers she was swording through the chest. She reached the end of the corridor and stepped on the switch. The bars on the door went up and she jumped up onto the platform. The bars came back down. “Um… huh?”
“It’s a spring-loaded switch.”
“Why in the hell would a switch need to be spring-loaded?”
“To piss you off, I guess. Now, be very careful about the advice I’m about to give you, because some of these statues are dormant demons that wake at the touch and others are just statues you can move around. There’s absolutely no way to tell the difference, and the demons are kinda harsh, so… try to move the statue onto the switch. I can’t really see any other option.”
“Okay, but if I get dead, I’m so blaming you.” Buffy jumped off the platform and approached the statue hesitantly, poking it with one finger and then withdrawing. When nothing happened, she grabbed onto it and pulled it toward the switch. The bars went back up and she walked into the next room.
“That’s no fair! There should be some way for some world-saving person like me to tell the difference.” She shot down two bats and hit a couple of jars with her sword. She was getting used to the theft idea.
“Well, there is. Touch it and if it comes at you, it’s a demon.”
“Yeah, but isn’t there a Demon/Statue Deciphering for Dummies route or something?”
“I don’t get half the things you say.”
Buffy scowled and walked through the next door. It was full of square platforms and lava. She turned sharply when she heard the bars fall across the door behind her. “Uh oh,” she said as two creatures fell from the ceiling.
Angel seemed to jump on the spot. “No way! Ninja Chiragos!”
“You’re kidding.”
“No waaaay! I thought they were a myth! Aw man, this is so cool,” he proclaimed as Buffy shielded against an attack from the Ninja Chirago.
“Angel if you could be less excited about the danger I’m in and more focused on helping me I’d be sure to not conveniently forget you in an evil chamber,” Buffy said breathlessly, ducking attacks and trying to hit the Ninja back with her sword. She hit it a third time and it retreated. The second one seemed to swing into action.
“Right. Sorry.” He hovered for a few seconds and gave her information about their battle patterns in a really excited voice. “They’re epic at battle but these guys look fairly young so they trade off every three hits. You’re doing fine, they’re pretty dumb, but so cool, I mean all their relatives are unbelievably overweight and these guys are just thin as you get. Look at their outfits! Aw man, Ninjas.”
“I take it back,” Buffy said annoyedly as the second retreated and the first stepped forward again. “If you stop talking altogether, I’ll be sure not to aim for you instead of my opponents.”
Angel scowled and flew into Buffy’s hat but continued to snicker quietly. Buffy hissed as the first Ninja got her arm a couple of times consecutively. She rolled around him and got him in the side a couple of times. He gave one final squeal and hit the ground, shortly disappearing. Buffy took a moment to take a few breaths and attacked the last one with gusto, using her shield for less time and attacking more fiercely. Another three hits and he disappeared, leaving behind a few hearts. She shuddered. “Okay, are those his hearts, or just hearts in general?”
Angel came out from within her hat and stared down. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen a N—”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll just assume not for gross-out purposes.” She ate all three quickly and took a deep breath. “Whooo. That’s better. I feel cheerier now.”
“Good. Let’s carry on, I think I hear some bellowing from the next room.” Buffy looked and saw that the doors no longer had bars. She walked hesitantly through one and likewise heard the noise Angel was talking about.
“Uh oh. What is it?”
“I think it’s your standard-issue Chirago demon.” They heard a harmony in the roars. “Two of them. Now, you can fight them, but they’re still pretty slow. The only problem is that these guys blow fire.”
“Nice. Metal shield equipped.”
“Good thinking. I really doubt the doors are open at the other side, but I also doubt defeating two standard-issue Chiragos is the problem. Look for something peculiar in the room.”
“If these guys are such a walk in the park, why are the Gorons having so much problem with them?”
“They will die if they catch on fire. Vampires, remember? You’ve still got the stop, drop and roll tactic to put you out, plus your clothing is pretty fire-proof. With them it’s instantaneous.”
“Right. Okay. So, peculiar thing, avoid flameys, metal shield. I’m going in.” Buffy took a breath and crept through the passage. She peered around the corner and spotted the squat, fat demons moving around the strange corridor. There were three of them, and none of them looked terribly happy. She squinted at something in the shadows of the room and spotted an unlit torch. Seeing a lit one beside her, she took out a stick, lit it, and ran toward the torch. Seeing another not far off, she kept running, and sprinted for the third one before the Chirago could think to breathe fire. A door opened to her right and she shot through it, avoiding a shot of fire from the nearest Chirago.
She exhaled in relief as she went to the end of the corridor, stepped on the switch, and then dropped down without realizing there was a dropoff. “Whoa, what?”
“We’re in the central room again. There’s the entrance, and there’s the door we just went in.”
“Oh yeah. Weird. What did that switch even do?”
“Looks like it unbarred the door on the other side of the room.”
“Oh. Good.” She got up and jumped platforms, ignoring the eye statues. “Why do they have to make everything so complicated? It would have been so much simpler if this door had just been unlocked in the first place. Would have saved time and effort on everyone’s part. It’s like whoever designed it made some rooms intentionally useless just to confuse newcomers or make them do way too much work.”
“Of course the locked doors have nothing to do with the fact that this place is infested with Chiragos.”
“Well, I mean, yeah, okay, the forces of evil are at work here, but even evil people should have some courtesy!”
“And if they did, what would separate them from the good people?”
“Well… they could still do mean things, but make it convenient for world-savers like me to defeat them.”
“Uh-huh. You keep working on that theory.”
Buffy stopped and stared at the large stone wall that began in the middle of the room and spread to one side. It seemed to be completely surrounded by bombs. “Okay. I don’t get it.”
“Bomb the bombs with the bomb.”
“Thank you, Cyrano.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Which bomb?”
“All of them.”
“No, which bomb do I use to bomb the rest of them?”
“This one.” Angel flew over to one outside the circle.
“How do you know these things?”
“I feel like Spike crafted this cavern. I know his style. This is something he’d pull.”
“Yeah, why do you know his style again?” Buffy picked up the bomb, set it in the space in the middle and backed away. When it exploded, the bombs on either side of it exploded with it, at which point every bomb adjacent exploded until they were all gone. Suddenly the wall shifted and slid slowly down, becoming a staircase. Buffy climbed slowly and listened to Angel stammer through an explanation.
“I… uh. I knew him. We knew each other.” He sighed. “I wasn’t born a fairy, you know. I’m… repenting. I might have… maybe… done stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Um… crime things. Get that,” he said, beckoning at the gold skulltula on the wall.
“Yeah, I gathered that when you said the repenty thing. What crime things? Theft? Vandalism?”
“Mass murder.”
Buffy stopped and stared at Angel, startled. She was promptly clubbed in the head by a flaming bat. She yelled and took out her sword, slashing blindly with one hand and hitting herself in the head with the other to extinguish the small fire. Then she glanced back at Angel and suddenly surged forward all business-like. Apparently she wasn’t happy that her fairy used to be a murderer. Angel rushed to keep up. “But I was a vampire. I’m different now. A gypsy gave me a soul and some warrior stabbed me through the chest right after, and then I was a fairy. It was all very strange. I felt really guilty about it for a while, but the Great Watcher Giles taught me to be one with my surroundings and sent me on a mission to help save the world.”
“So you didn’t have a soul before?” Buffy asked grudgingly, moving a statue away from a ladder.
“No, I didn’t. That’s what makes me different from then. I wouldn’t even consider killing anyone now.”
“Like you could anyway.”
“Well, there’s that.”
“So are all fairies like that?”
“Nope. Just me. An atonement thing.”
“So how does that connect you to Spike?” Buffy started to walk across a drawbridge, noticing that she was just on the upper level of the central room. Angel looked down and instructed himself not to do so again. She was still acting somewhat coldly toward Angel, but seemed to have quelled the desire to flee.
“I… made him a vampire. We hung out for a while, causing ruckus at Restfield Cemetery… it was a thing. He thinks I’m dead, and I don’t want to tell him anything to the contrary. Hey, hey, wait a minute. You don’t just walk into a room like that.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“Just… see? There, look. There are blades moving back and forth through every horizontal corridor. Take a look around the corner first.”
“Yes, mother.”
Angel took a sharp intake of breath when Buffy said that. She would ordinarily ask why, but she wasn’t feeling quite so endeared to her fairy at the moment and decided to let it slide. As she made her way to the other side of the room, she checked her map. “This is bullshit. Where’s the door?”
“Up here,” Angel said quietly, floating up.
“Well, cool. A door to explode and no way to explode it.”
Angel spotted a bomb and a chest on one of the elevated platforms. “Move that block over here and jump up.”
Buffy did so and promptly got the picture. She picked up the bomb flower and threw it at the door. It bounced off and exploded on the ground. Buffy frowned and tried again. The same result. When a few more tries yielded no result, she jumped across to the door and hit it repeatedly with her sword in frustration. Suddenly she tripped over the edge and managed to land hard on her feet.
“I think it’ll stay if you aim for behind the ladder,” Angel said quietly. She was grumpy again, or possibly just extremely angry.
“Yeah, yeah. You just know everything, don’t you?”
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you upfront, but I really am trying to help.”
The bomb finally stayed put and she breathed a sigh of relief as she jumped into the now open doorway. “I know. I’m sorry. But… I don’t want to save the world. I just want to lead a normal Forestfolk life, you know? Jam with my fairy and my best friend and lollygag around. I don’t want to have a future. None of the other Forestfolk do.”
Angel hesitated. “Buffy, you’re not…”
“Not what? Not allowed to lead a normal life? Yeah, I know. I have to save Sunnydale. It’s a great honour, blah, blah, blah. I’m not backing out, but I’m not just going to let someone else tell me what my destiny is without complaining a little bit.” She realized that there was a wall of flame in front of her and stopped talking. “Okay, I don’t get it.”
“Hit the eye.”
Buffy looked around confusedly and finally saw the eye behind the flames. She slungshot it, hopped the platforms, and avoided the baby Chiragos that popped up as she passed. Angel didn’t talk. He seemed to be in thought or brooding or something and Buffy didn’t really care to interrupt that. He was being quiet! This was a moment to revel in.
The door locked behind her in the next room and two familiar beasts fell from the ceiling. Angel immediately perked up. “Oh, no. Not again.” Buffy fought the Ninja Chiragos more easily this time and hopped through the door as soon as possible. “I do not like those things.”
“Aw, come on! They’re pretty cool.”
“You just wish you were a ninja.”
“…Yeah. You’re right.”
Buffy found herself facing another wall of fire. “Okay, at this point someone just ran out of ideas. That’s two doppelganger rooms in a row.” She hit the eye behind the fire and jumped, but barely stopped herself from jumping forward again. Another wall of fire was waiting. “I don’t get it. Again.” She looked around and saw another eye to her left. This one seemed to be staring right at her. She shook off the shivers and hit it with her slingshot. Seeing no other flame in sight, she jumped forward and left the room.
They were back in the room with the blades, only higher up this time. Buffy surged forward but a chest caught her attention. She stepped up hesitantly and opened it when a strange bag flew above her head. “Oh shit,” she muttered.
“You’ve found a Bomb Bag! This bag holds 20 bombs and is made out of a stomach of a Chirago demon! What a lucky girl!” The bag disappeared and Buffy shot Angel a look as they walked slowly into the next room.
“Okay, first of all, ew at the stomach thing. And second of all… ‘What a lucky girl!’? What was that about?”
“I dunno. I just thought you were… lucky… and deserved to be called lucky… because… you are…” Angel glanced at Buffy and saw she wasn’t buying it. “I don’t know. I seemed like the thing to say! There’s no crime in that.”
“You’re a weird ex-vampire fairy, you know that?”
“In a good way, though, right?”
Buffy turned and smiled. “I couldn’t ask for a better one.”
Angel blushed in a fairy sort of way.
Buffy found they were in the main room again and stepped on a switch. She looked around to see if something happened but nothing seemed to. “Well, that was useful.” Suddenly one of the platforms from down below came up to meet her. She jumped. Angel laughed.
“I guess that’s so you don’t have to go through the entire dungeon again.”
“Oh. Well, for bad guys, that was certainly a considerate move.”
“…True. Probably one of Spike’s additions again.”
Buffy scrunched her nose and began to read a nearby plaque distractedly. “It’s so weird to think of you and Spike back in the day. What did you look like as a vampire?”
Angel frowned. “You do understand the lack of logic in that question, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t have a reflection as a vampire.”
“Oh! Oh yeah. Well… what did you look like as a human, then?”
“I don’t remember. It was years ago. Hey… what are you doing?”
Buffy was standing just in front of one of the gaps in the bridge and dropped a bomb through it. They both watched as the bomb fell in the eye of the giant Chirago skull and exploded. The eye turned red. Buffy looked satisfied and did the same to the other eye. “I read that funny plaque behind us.”
“Oh. Oh, well, okay, I guess you can take advice from other sources… I mean, it’s not like I’m following you around for your own benefit or anything…”
“Be quiet, mister jealous pants. I still need you by my side. Surely you remember something about your appearance.”
“I… don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why?”
The second bomb exploded and both eyes turned red. Suddenly the ground started shaking ever so slightly and the mouth to the skull opened slowly. Buffy jumped down, took the shock from the fall fairly well, and looked at the skull with disgust. “Do I have to go in there?”
“Yes.”
“Whyyyyy?”
“Because.”
“It’s icky. I don’t want to explore the remains of a really big Chirago demon.”
But Buffy, the trooper that she was, trudged forward into the Chirago demon only to find that there were only more rooms on the other side, not icky flesh hanging everywhere. “Come on. What did you look like?” She jumped into a dip in the middle of the room, stepping on a switch and having the bars open on a nearby door. “Okay, I doubt this is that easy.” She climbed out and the bars fell back down. “Typical.” She looked around and got clubbed in the head by another flaming bat. She took out her sword and swung wildly again, generally missing and running to the room from the right of the entrance to get out of the way.
“I guess I kinda had this overhanging forehead thing going on. Dark hair, dark, intense eyes…” Buffy giggled. Angel blushed again. “I heard it from another source, okay! Those were her words, not mine.”
“Uh-huh. Okay.” Giggle giggle. Angel scowled.
“Hey Buffy. There are flaming bats in this room. Try not to get hit in the head by one this time, okay?”
“Ooh. Now who’s cranky?”
“It’s just that I kinda resent that I’m a fairy now. I don’t even look like anything. I’m like a fuzzy warm puffball that talks and flies.”
“Aw, come on. You’re probably at least as cute now as you were then.”
“Sure, but… huh?”
Buffy smiled and climbed the blue blocks. She walked along one of the walls and kept a lookout for flaming bats. She jumped down, hit the pots, and quickly caught a pink fairy in a jar. Walking through the corridor, she saw the first room she was in and a block in front of her. She got the gist and pushed the block off the ledge and down into the hole with the switch, all the while watching for flaming bats. She hurtled for the door and shut it quickly behind her.
The room was empty aside from a chest straight ahead. Buffy opened it and took out the bombs inside before trying to figure out what the room was all about. She noticed a hollow noise when she walked across the centre section of the floor. Placing a bomb, she ran in the other direction and waited for the explosion. She peered down and saw a giant pit of lava. They both heard a strange grumbling from beneath. Buffy looked nervously at Angel. “I guess I’m supposed to go down there, huh?”
“I think so.”
“I really don’t want to.”
“I really don’t blame you.”
Buffy smiled at her fairy, held her breath and jumped down. She managed not to scream and landed relatively softly on her feet. She heard a stirring behind her and the ground vibrated heavily. She turned slowly around and looked up. Waaaaay up.
---
The giant Chirago loomed over her head and roared. Angel was shouting instructions. “He’ll try to breathe fire at you and when he opens his mouth to do so you have to throw a bomb in before he gets a chance. Be quick and ready to run if you don’t throw the bomb in time.”
Buffy took a bomb out immediately and threw it in while the Chirago was in mid-inhale. He took it in and it exploded inside. He squealed in pain and suddenly rolled up and came rolling toward her at a significant pace.
“Oh, shit. Run. Run run run run!” Angel was shouting.
“Way ahead of you,” she said, turning and running away.
“You won’t make it. Try to hide in this corner and let him pass by. He should stop and we can repeat the process.” Buffy nodded and stowed away in the corner, squealing and shutting her eyes hard as the demon came toward her. He smashed into the wall beside her and rolled away again. She opened one eye hesitantly and breathed a sigh of relief, running after him. He hit the opposite wall but stopped this time, turning slowly. Buffy suddenly thought of what she’d tell Xander when they next saw each other and what his reaction would be when she told him she’d fought a 20-foot tall Sumo wrestler. She giggled as she took out the next bomb and lit it quickly.
After throwing, running, throwing, running, and throwing yet again, the demon had had enough. It roared in anguish and rolled into the pit of lava, twitching as it went down. Buffy bent over and put her hands on her knees, watching the proceedings and catching her breath. The lava cooled and soon looked walkable. She went over to the strange heart and reached out to it hesitantly. It jumped immediately above her head.
“You got a heart container!” Angel announced. “Your maximum life energy is increased by one heart.” The feeling of absolute rejuvenation hit Buffy again, and she felt more awake and stronger than she had before. She smiled at Angel.
“So. In your professional opinion, Mr. Fairy, do you believe that Spike will actually give me the Spiritual Stone of Fire?”
Angel put on an announcer voice. “Well, Buffy, if he does it would be a first for him. However, the word on the street is that he’s been a man of his word since he was forced off human blood, so it’s pretty much a toss up from my point of view. Now here’s Squire with a look at sports.”
Buffy grinned and skipped girlishly over to the blue splay of light. “You’re a big goof sometimes, you know that?”
Angel smiled and flew into her hat. “Yeah. I know.”
Buffy stepped into the light and let herself be transported out of the cavern.
---
She landed softly on the ground outside the cavern. She took a deep breath, reveling in the fresh air, and then turned abruptly toward the cavern when she heard a voice behind her.
“So. You made it, did you?”
Buffy smiled at Spike. “Yeah. I did.”
“So we’re demon free in there, yeah?”
“Should be. Right?” she asked Angel quietly.
“Once we killed the big guy, the rest of them probably scampered off. It’s demon free.”
“Well. Good,” Spike said, obviously fighting with himself internally. Suddenly one of the two Gorons standing behind him happily went up to Spike and whispered excitedly in his ear. Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh. Right.” He sighed and, judging by the expression on his face, he was only saying this to please his royal subjects. “For all your hard work how’d you like to be an honorary Goron.”
“Um?”
“There’s no ceremony or anything. I wasn’t actually asking, I was telling. You’re… family now.” He said it as though he had something especially bitter in his mouth. He shook his head. “Well, you’re better than that Wilkins fellow, the mayor of the Gerudos or whatever. He was the one who did this when I wouldn’t give him the stone. So… I guess you can have it. For a while.”
Buffy grinned as the Stone appeared above her head. Angel cleared his throat. “You obtained the Goron’s Ruby! This Spiritual Stone of Fire was passed down from the Gorons. You don’t know what he means by ‘Honorary Goron’, but no one really does, so we’ll just let this pass.”
Suddenly the two Gorons standing behind Spike applauded and grinned. One of them spoke up. “Let’s see off our new Goron sibling with a Goron hug!” Spike rolled his eyes as both other Gorons walked toward Buffy like Zombies. Her eyes widened.
“No, really, that’s okay, guys. I don’t need a….” She tripped over something behind her and turned to run away, but was blocked by another Goron walking toward her in the same fashion. She screamed and ducked under his arm. Angel laughed hysterically and flew behind her as she ran as fast as she could without looking back.
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