She remembered how it felt the moment she had found out. She had looked back on her life and come to the conclusion that that moment had been the worst moment of her life. Buffy had never been in love before. She had never been in love until she met Angel.
The fates had been against them. He was a vampire and she was the vampire slayer. They’re relationship was never meant to be, Buffy knew that. What she didn’t know, or see coming, was the hand that fate would ultimately deal her for indulging in that doomed affair.
Buffy was always told that there would be consequences for having underage sex. She had learned it from health class, her mother, and even from the occasional television show that would actually play out the consequences so as to show teenagers what would happen if you don’t listen.
None of that prepared her for this.
In health class they didn’t teach her what to do if her boyfriend turned evil after they slept together for the first time. Her mother never explained to her that her boyfriend might lose his soul if she gave herself to him. And a lot of different consequences happened to the teenagers on the TV shows, but not once was there ever an episode where a girl lost the man she loved most in the world to his evil, murderous alter ego.
It had been about two weeks since Angel lost his soul and reverted to his former ways as Angelus. To Buffy it still felt like it was yesterday. It just wasn’t fair. Hadn’t she been through enough being the slayer without having to have the man she loved ripped away from her and replaced with a monster?
She cursed the fates for doing this to her. She wanted someone to blame but the only person she kept coming back to was herself. If she would have known that these were the consequences that she would have had to worry about she never would have done what she did. She wished hundreds of times that she would have just gone home that night. Then none of this would have happened.
Sure, then instead it would have happened the next week instead of the night that it did happen. The truth was that there was really no way that it could have been avoided. None of them had known about the little provision in Angel’s curse. Not Giles, not Buffy, not even Angel himself. There was nothing that could have been done.
Buffy tried to pull herself back to the lecture in class, but was useless. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on much of anything since losing Angel. Her grades were most likely slipping; if it was even possible for them to slip anymore then they already had been because of her duties as the slayer taker over her study time.
She clutched her stomach with her arm as her face winced in nausea. As if losing Angel and having her grades drop wasn’t bad enough, she now appeared to be coming down with a stomach flu. She had been sick to her stomach yesterday and now it seemed that the same thing was back rearing its ugly head.
Will I ever catch a break? Buffy thought to herself. As if her prayers were being answered, the bell rang.
Buffy gathered her books and placed them in her bag. She walked out of class with Willow by her side and Xander fallowing right behind them. “So…off to meet Giles in the library?” Xander asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer.
Ever since Angel lost his soul Giles and the others had been on extra research mod. They tried to reassure Buffy that they would find something to fix this. They would figure out a way to reverse what happened, or something like that. It was sweet of them to say, but Buffy knew better. She knew that there was most likely nothing they could do. She also knew that most of the research they were doing wasn’t to help bring the real Angel back but to prepare themselves for what Angelus was capable of.
Buffy had read a lot about Angelus before she and Angel had even started dating. He was one of the worst vampires she had ever heard of. Angelus didn’t just kill his victims, he tortured them. He killed they’re families and everyone they held dear. He took immense pleasure in every ounce of pain that he caused people.
Back then Buffy told herself that the person she had read all those horrible things about wasn’t Angel. Right then and there she had separated Angel and Angelus as two completely different people. That simple distinction had made it a lot easier for her to ignore Angel’s past and only focus on the good he’d done in the present. But now, Angel was gone.
“That’s the plan,” Buffy responded to Xander. Suddenly the nausea grew in Buffy’s stomach again. Her arm instinctively wrapped around her stomach once again. “I’ll meet you guys there.”
“Are you ok Buffy?” Willow asked with concern in her eyes.
Buffy smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be fine. I’ve just got a little stomach ache is all.”
“There is a stomach flu going around.”
“Well then I think it’s gotten around to me. I’ll meet you guys in the library in a few.”
“Ok Buff,” Xander responded. “Feel better.”
“Thanks.” She parted with her two friends and headed straight for the bathroom. It was only 10:00 and this day was already shaping up to be another bad one.
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