Joss Whedon owns all the Buffy characters. Any others are mine. (unless noted).
____________________________________________________________________________________
ACT 1.
Faith, and the others drove home, in Oz's van, after a fight.
KENNEDY.
Man, I'm never going to be able to eat lobster again.
SKYLER.
Was it a lobster? I though it was more like a scorpion.
OZ.
Nah, a scorpion has a tail, and a stinger. It was more like a shrimp.
KENNEDY.
Hey, I know a lobster, when I see one, Dogboy! It was a lobster!
OZ.
If you say so, Jackie Costo.
FAITH.
Who the hell cares! It's dead, that's all I care about.
SKYLER.
Hey, I distracted it, give credit.
KENNEDY.
Yeah, you distracted it, by showering it, with Garlic Bread. I think you should give up fighting evil,
and open a bakery.
SKYLER.
I think you should bite my rod!
OZ.
You don't have a rod, Skyler. At least I don't think you do.
SKYLER.
(Taking hold of her skirt) wanna see. (She pulls it up, and a long, orange thing is seen)
OZ.
HOLY SHIT! (He almost leaves the road)
SKYLER.
(Pulling it out, and showing it) Calm down, it's just a carrot. He he that was funny!
FAITH.
YOU ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING DISTRUBED! YOU NEED HELP!
SKYLER.
(She takes a bite of it) Pussies.
KENNEDY.
That's it, I'm scared for life. I'll never be able to have sex with ANYONE AGAIN!
FAITH.
Oz, pull over at gas station. I need a drink.
OZ.
There's a liquor store, in about five minutes.
FAITH.
I can't wait that long!
SKYLER.
Bah ha ha ha!
They all get out, and walk to the store. As they're walking in, Kelly is walking out.
KELLY.
Oh great, the Freak Show's here.
SKYLER.
Hey, I think you're at the wrong store. They don't sell penicillin here.
KELLY.
Gee, I can't figure out why you don't have any friends. You such a class act.
SKYLER.
Hey, I could have friends if I banged anything that moved.
KENNEDY.
Whoa hey, what going on?
SKYLER.
Nothing, she's just a bitch, from my school.
KELLY.
Who you calling a bitch? Your just pissed because I won't sleep with you. Careful dear, she's a
dyke.
KENNEDY.
(Glaring) Excuse me? What was that?
KELLY.
Don't believe me. I was at the CD store, and she practically tried to rape me.
SKYLER.
Oh, that was a joke.
KELLY.
Didn't seem like a joke to me, or to the rest of school, when I told them about it. That's why they've
been whispering when you walk by.
SKYLER.
(Trying to not seem rattled, though she had noticed people whispering) So I guess you're over the
whole mother Teresa act?
KELLY.
Hey, I tried to be nice, but you wouldn't let me, so fu, oh wait, I'd better not say that.
SKYLER.
Go to hell! (Walks off)
KENNEDY.
I hope you're happy, bitch.
KELLY.
Hey, I just give what I get. She's the one that's kept this going.
KENNEDY.
Kept what going?
KELLY.
It's not really you're business, bitch. What are you her girl friend?
KENNEDY.
No! But I have to wonder why that seems to be a hot button with you?
KELLY.
Oh no, reverse psychology, she can see through me! I'm bored. (She walks off)
KENNEDY.
Man, what a bitch! Thank God, I don't have to deal with her, all the time.
Kelly walks to her car, when she suddenly feels energy flowing through her.
KELLY.
Whoa, what was that? (She feels light headed, but tries to open her car. To her shock, she
rips the door right off. She looks at the door) Oh, dad's gonna kill me! Cheap Japanese Junk!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACT 2.
The Next Day.
Faith walks inside a church, and sees Father Lopes, in the sanctuary.
FAITH.
Took me a wile to find you, Preacher man.
LOPES.
I take it your not here to pray?
FAITH.
Not a big prayer.
LOPES.
And your name is Faith. Ironic.
FAITH.
Yeah, well after you get ass kicked by the people that are supposed to take care of you.
You kind of stop believing in fairy tales. But I'm not here for that. Where are your friends?
LOPES.
That's a good question.
What's that supposed to mean?
LOPES.
It means I don't know. They contact me, when they need me. Like you. I guess we're both
forgotten.
FAITH.
How'd you hook up with them?
LOPES.
Years ago. I was a young priest, in a small Mexican village. It was attacked by a powerful
vampire master, names Kinkestos. (Faith quietly gasps) Joe, and his crew showed up, and drove
them out. Unfortunately Kinkistos survived, and he's still out there.
FAITH.
Well, not really. I killed him years ago.
LOPES.
Are you serious? (She nods) God bless you, my child. I've spent many nights awake, thinking about
him.
FAITH.
Yeah, well I'm losing sleep over Nicky, so back to point.
LOPES.
Well, later I took over, running a orphanage. About ten years ago, Joe brought me these too children.
They're parents had been killed by Nicadimas. I'm sure you can guess who I'm talking about.
I tried to help them, but it wasn't meant to be. Maggie had just disappeared into her own little world.
but Jesse, he became obsessed with revenge. He'd run away, and find Joe, begging to be part of
his crew. Of coarse he'd just bring him back, but as so as he pulled out of the driveway, Jesse was
gone again. Finally he just let him stay. I wish to God, they hadn't taken up that life. It's brought
them nothing but pain.
FAITH.
But you help them?
LOPES.
I consecrate there weapons, and do other things when I can. I know it's a necessary fight, but still.
When I became a priest, I vowed to fight Satan. I just never thought it would be face to face.
FAITH.
So you don't know where they can be found?
LOPES.
Can't your friend the witch help you?
FAITH.
Ok, she helped Maggie, why don't you trust her?
LOPES.
The Red Witch? She raped her loves mind, twice. She cursed her friends, making one blind, and
another one fatally ill. She tried to destroy the world, please stop me, when I say something, that's
not true.
FAITH.
Look, she's good now. And some of what you said, had circumstances, you don't know about.
LOPES.
Maybe you're right, but I'm sure you can understand my concern. And you didn't answer me, Why can't
she help?
FAITH.
She disappeared.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We see an open desert. Suddenly there's a flash of light, and Willow, and Samuel are there.
SAMUAL.
This is where it happened. Where he committed his worst act of blasphemy. And I though he
would make a great king. In many ways he was. He was tall, strong, a great military mind.
He was everything men valued. But since when do men know what's good for them.
WILLOW.
Ok, let me see if I have this straight. Your boss made him into an unkillable killing machine,
to prove a point?
SAMUAL.
It was a little more complicated, than that. For his sin, he was to walk the earth forever.
He would age, just like the witch, that performed the ritual, but never die. He was to walk until
the end of days, and then walk alone, in the darkness. But someone else saw an opportunity.
And he became what he is now.
WILLOW.
Ok fine, It wasn't planned. But I thought he didn't make mistakes? Well making an Ubervamp,
kind of a mistake.
SAMUAL.
There is a reason for all. But truth be told, even I don't know all of them.
WILLOW.
So you're telling me that he can't be killed, by anything?
SAMUAL.
I'm afraid not. But he can be stopped.
WILLOW.
Well here's a nifty idea, why do YOU DO IT?
SAMUAL.
I can't directly interfere. I can only guide.
WILLOW.
So why tell me? I mean I haven't been to Synagogue (Hope I'm spelling that right) in a wile, what with
the whole witch thing?
SAMUAL.
You're still one of the chosen people.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE NEXT DAY.
After school, Kelly walked home. She'd had a hard night. She'd been having weird dreams about
Things, trying to kill her. But even stranger, she was trying to kill them. And then there was that weird
monkey looking woman, tell he she was chosen. Suddenly she bumped into Skyler.
KELLY.
HEY, WATCH IT, FREAK!
SKYLER.
Fuck you, bimbo!
KELLY.
What are you doing out, anyway, doesn't the pound have a curfew?
SKYLER.
Oh, that was good. Really I'm impressed. I'll bet it took you years to come up with that.
KELLY.
(Sigh) Look, can we just call a truce? I don't want to fight you anymore.
SKYLER.
I don't care. You're a bitch, fuck you.
KELLY.
I'm not saying we have to be friends, in fact I'm fine if we're not, cause I don't like you.
But I'm tired of it.
SKYLER.
Hey, you started that rumor about me!
KELLY.
Well, you humiliated me, at the store, remember? I was just getting even.
SKYLER.
You know what! (Suddenly a woman is heard screaming) I have to go, so fuck off, until I get back.
She takes off toward the sound, and funds three vamps attacking a girl.
VAMP 1.
Well, well, Looks like we got to for the price of one.
SKYLER.
Let her go.
VAMP 1
Or you'll want?
SKYLER.
(Raises her hand, and electricity sparks, from it) Or I'll fry you. I may not look like it, but I'm a
powerful witch, and it's going to take more than a few (eight more come from the shadows.)
Oh shit.
KELLY.
(Running up) What's going on?
SKYLER.
Kelly, get away! They'll kill you! And for some reason that's bad!
VAMP 1.
(Vamping out) Oh, nobody's going anywhere.
KELLY.
AAAHHHHAAA!!!!!!!!
VAMP 1.
Dig in boys!
VOICE.
What, you don't say grace first? (Faith jumps out, and kicks him) You raised in a barn, vampire?
SKYLER.
What are you doing, here? Not that I'm not happy!
KENNEDY.
(Stepping out) Patrolling.
The vamps attack. One goes at Faith, but she ducks, and trips him, staking him, when he lands.
Another goes at Kenny, but she sides steps, and stakes him.
Skyler hits some more, with energy, and they get up, and take off.
SKYLER.
Pussies.
There's only one left. He rushes the slayers, but at the last moment jumps over them, and heads for Kelly.
FAITH.
NO!!!!!!!
VAMP.
Hello baby.
KELLY.
Please don't hurt me.
VAMP.
Oh it won't hurt. Ha, ok that's a lie.
He hits Kelly, and makes her bleed. Suddenly she is overcome with rage, and hits him, knocking him down.
Then she kicks him, and sends him into the nearest tree. Without thinking, she jumps the distance, (a good
twenty feet) breaks a branch off, and stakes him. The others stare, in disbelief.
KELLY.
(Finally realizing what's happened) Oh God! What just happened? What's going on?
FAITH.
Did you see that?
SKYLER.
Uh yeah, she's evil kill her!
KENNEDY.
No, she's not!
SKYLER.
Sure she is, so kill her!
KELLY.
What's happing? WHAT'S HAPPING!
FAITH.
(Walking to her) Look, Kelly, it's going to be Ok. I know this is scary, but you're going to be alright.
SKYLER.
No. Please don't let it be true. I'm begging you.
KELLY.
I don't understand.
FAITH.
Kelly, this is going to sound crazy, but you're a vampire slayer.
SKYLER.
NNNNOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
________________________________________________________________________________
ACT 3.
THE DESERT.
We see a bunch of vampires, dressed like outlaws. The Leader is a Hispanic man, looking to be
about 30. But with vampires can you ever be sure?
Suddenly a gunshot is heard, and they turn to see Abby standing there.
LEAD VAMP.
(In Mexican accent) He he ha, Abby Cain. I can't believe you're still a live.
ABBY.
You know me, Hasus, I'm the last one to go down. (NOTE Ok, I know I'm spelling Hasus wrong. But
if you noticed it was wrong, then you know when spelled right, it's spelled Jesus. I didn't want people
to get confused about his name, (Or who I was talking about) so I spell it this way) Blackjack's dead.
HASUS.
Sorry to hear that. He was one of the best. Hey, got a fresh bottle, if you want to morn properly?
ABBY.
Maybe later. Right now I'm looking to put together some regulators.
HASUS.
Don't you have a gang. I heard you run with Nicadimas.
ABBY.
Fuck Nicadimas. He's been nothing but trouble. I'm on my own now. I care about one thing. Eye, for
an eye. These kids today don't have any work ethic. Sitting in front of computers has made them soft.
That's why I'm coming to you. I need the right kind of people.
HASUS.
People for what?
ABBY.
People to unleash Hell!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING. The following paragraph contains spoilers, for my story, Slave To The Dark. Ok, Maybe
I should have written it first, but hey, I'm not perfect)
FAITH.
Isn't she a little old to just be called?
KENNEDY
Well, not really. See I knew told you, but the Scythe was destroyed last year, and it stopped potentials
from being called.
FAITH.
WHAT? And you're just getting to this now!
KENNEDY.
I didn't think it was important. See, it was fixed, so they we're being called again. But one of the side
effects is some that would have been called sooner, have been delayed. Guess that's what's up.
FAITH.
So Willow fixed it?
KENNEDY.
No, someone else. But there was a price.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oz is working in the Cd store. a woman, in glasses walks up to the counter.
OZ.
Can I help you?
WOMAN.
(Nervous) Hi, um. I guess you don't remember me. We met last week.
OZ.
Oh yeah, you're the lady that made the Killer Bunnies.
EMILY.
Yeah, sorry.
OZ.
Hey, we all make mistakes. What brings you here now?
EMILY.
Uh, maybe we should go in the back?
OZ.
(In the back) What's this about?
EMILY.
Well I um, I saw you, you changed. And those girls were so strong.
OZ.
(Nervous) What, is this blackmail, or?
EMILY.
OH NO! I won't tell anyone! I just have to know. I'm a scientist, and This is so big. Look, just
tell me, and I'll never breath a word, I promise. You're Aliens, aren't you?
OZ.
What? Ha that's crazy. (Then he thinks about it for a second) Ok, maybe it's not so crazy.
But no.
EMILY.
Please tell me, I can't sleep, until I know. My mind won't let me. I swear I won't betray you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KELLY.
Ok, let me get this straight. Vampire are real, and I'm supposed to kill them?
FAITH.
Pretty much.
KENNEDY.
I know how it sounds, but.
KELLY.
IT'S CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY!
SKYLER.
Yes, we're crazy, so you can go now.
FAITH.
(Giving Skyler a look) Kelly, you can't run from this. I know it's scary, but.
KELLY.
Look, can't someone else do it?
SKYLER.
Yeah, can't someone else do it?
FAITH.
Can I see you in the other room, Skyler.
SKYLER.
Oh.
FAITH.
(In the next room) Ok, what's you deal? She's a slayer, we have to tell her about her power,
if for no other reason, to keep her alive.
SKYLER.
Your don't understand. I HATE HER. Look, I know it's you duty, and all, but she isn't going to work.
You have know idea what it's like to work with a stuck up, bubble headed cheer leader, that thinks
everyone's beneath her.
FAITH.
Oh yeah, spend one day with Buffy Summers, and you'll pray to come back to this girl.
SKYLER.
It's her fault Sara's dead.
FAITH.
What?
SKYLER.
Her, and her friends tormented us for years. Because they could. (Her eyes are cold) Zeke wouldn't
have done it, if it wasn't for her. And now you want her to be part of the team.
FAITH.
Kid, It's not like that. I'm sorry about your friend, but she didn't kill her. Your friend Zeke was messed
up.
SKYLER.
YOU'RE DEFENDING HER!
FAITH.
All I'm saying is.
SKYLER.
You want her, take her. But find another vision girl!
FAITH.
Whoa, wait! Just hold on!
SKYLER.
Or what, you'll try to kill me again? Well, I've gotten a lot better at magic, since then. It might go
different this time!
FAITH.
Kid. Don't make threats you can't back up. I think you should go home, and clam down. Then we'll
talk again.
SKYLER.
I'm not coming back, until she's gone.
KENNEDY.
(Walking in) She's all ready gone.
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ACT 4.
EMILY.
A werewolf! And Slayers. And we're on a Hell Mouth?
OZ.
Wild stuff huh?
EMILY.
This is amazing, I can't believe this. I'm nor sure I do believe it.
OZ.
Ok, you were fine with Aliens, but not this?
EMILY.
Well, Aliens make sense, but this. I mean with so many planets out there, there has to be life
somewhere. But you're asking me to believe in superstition.
OZ.
(His hand goes hairy) Satisfied?
EMILY.
Can all werewolves control that?
OZ.
No, I had to go to Tibet, and learn from a Master Conjuror. (NOTE I'm again referring to Redmoon's
Character Loki)
EMILY.
Magic, Wizards, This is like a fairy tale.
OZ.
Can I ask you a question now? you said you wanted to keep people from getting sick. that's why
you helped make the bunnies. You had someone in mind didn't you?
EMILY.
(Lowers her head) My Mother. She has cancer. They say she doesn't have much time. I thought
I could find a cure, but well.
OZ.
That's why you're really here. You think I can help her?
EMILY.
Can you?
OZ.
(Sadly) I wish I could. I'm sorry.
EMILY.
I'm sorry I bothered you.
OZ.
Don't be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kelly ran though an old park. "This was crazy" she thought, "She couldn't kill vampires. Those
people were some kind of cult.
SKYLER.
I knew you were a coward.
KELLY.
How'd you find me?
SKYLER.
Locator spell. I'm supposed to get you back. Kelly Come back.
KELLY.
No!
SKYLER.
Well, I tried.
KELLY.
Hey, I don't want to be part of you freak club!
SKYLER.
Hey, I don't want you to breath, so we both lose.
KELLY.
All right, I'm over this. Look, I'm sorry I teased you all those years, I was a bitch, and I know it, but I didn't
kill anyone. You psycho friend did.
SKYLER.
LIAR! It was your fault! He wasn't a bad guy, it was you, and your sick friends. You treated us like shit!
We didn't deserve it! I tried to stop him, but YOU made that impossible, and.
KELLY.
What did you say? Oh My God, you knew! You knew he was going to do it!
SKYLER.
I uh, no I tried to stop him.
KELLY.
No you didn't, you could have gone to the cops. Your friends dead, because of you!
SKYLER.
SHUT UP!!!!!
Skyler hits Kelly, with lighting, knocking her down. Then she raises her hand, and Kelly's thrown into
a tree. Kelly recovers, and hits Skyler, with a kick, in the face, followed by a series of martial arts moves.
(Moves she's never even learned). Skyler falls.
KELLY.
Maybe being a slayer's not such a bad thing. Maybe next time you'll keep your mouth (Suddenly Skyler
rises up, and her eyes go black) Oh.
Skyler waves her hand, and Kelly flies into the trees. Over, and over she hits the trees, and finally stars
hitting the ground, raising back up, and hitting it again. She notice she's near the monkey bars, and grabs
a pipe. To her surprise, it rips off, with easy. Kelly then throws it at Skyler, and hits her, in the face.
As Skyler's knocked to the ground, Kelly gets into a fighting stance (Still surprised she knows how to)
SKYLER.
You killed Sara!
KELLY.
No, I didn't!
SKYLER.
LIAR!
KELLY.
]I was shitty to you, I know that! I've been Shitty to a lot of people, but I'm not a killer, and you're not putting
that on me!
SKYLER.
NO, I WAS TRYING TO SAVE ZEKE! IT HAD TO. (Crying now) I knew they wanted me to turn him in, but
I couldn't. I didn't want to loss a friend. I'M SORRY SARA! IT WAS MY FAULT! I KILLED YOU, I'M SORRY!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'M SORRY!
Faith, and Kenny run up, and find her. They walk to her, and hold her, as she cries.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LATER.
FAITH.
Can I get you something?
SKYLER.
No. I'm, well not good, but I'll deal. Faith, I'm sorry about.
FAITH.
Don't. It's Ok. Guess a lot of stuff was needed to come out.
SKYLER.
Can I talk to Kelly?
FAITH.
Kid, you don't. have to.
SKYLER.
I want to. I'll be good.
Faith leaves, and Kelly comes in.
SKYLER.
You were right. What happened to Sara wasn't you're fault. I'm sorry.
KELLY.
Look Skyler, I didn't mean.
SKYLER.
It doesn't mean we're friends. You're still a bitch. But I should have blamed you for that.
KELLY.
Whatever it's worth, I'm sorry. (She goes back into the room.) I guess you guys hate me.
I am pretty much a bitch.
FAITH.
Hey, I started out a murderer. (Kelly looks at her) Ok, that wasn't as comforting as I thought.
Look, you were chosen for a reason. It's not going to be easy, but can't get away from it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed that you hurt my Wednesday. But What can I say. I wouldn't be
hear if someone didn't give me a chance to change.
So here's the deal, we train you, you do what we say, when we say it, and you may live for
awhile. Cause the evil's not going to leave you alone. And you don't screw you team members,
so play nice, with Wednesday.
KELLY.
You're going to make me miserable, aren't you?
FAITH.
Oh yeah. Any questions?
KELLY.
Yeah, who the hell's Wednesday?
FAITH, AND KENNEDY.
(Rolls there eyes).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OZ.
I'm sorry about your mom. I know you don't know me, but if I can do anything, let me know.
EMILY.
Thank you. It's nice, you know. Talking to someone. I really don't have many friends. (Waves
her hand in front of herself) I know, hard to believe, since I'm so cool.
OZ.
Hey, I think you're cool. I hear Glasses are the new black. (He notices his staff not moving, as he walks
out of the back) Hey, it's not break time. (Then he see's Abby, and her new gang) What do.
ABBY.
(Pulls her gun, and shoots one of the clerks, as the others scream) That was to get you're attention.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you what this is about. So you listen, and don't talk.
HASUS.
I'd listen Hefa. You might find out why they call her The Hellbitch Of Santa Fe.
CLERK.
Please, we haven't done.
ABBY.
(Shoots her, between the eyes) I said LISTEN! Oh by the way, these bullets are silver, just
so you know. (Picks up the phone) Here's how this goes. You call you're friends. In a very nice,
calm tone, you say "Hello, insert bitches name here, I found out something about Nicadimas.
I can't talk about it over the phone, so you need to came right now." If you don't I will kill all
these people. And you're little girlfriend there, I'll put out her eyes, bust her ear drums, and
drop her in the middle of the desert. Do you understand me?
OZ.
Yes.
ABBY.
Do you believe me?
OZ.
Yes.
ABBY.
You damn well better. Make the call.
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