I don't own the Josh Whedon characters.
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AXEL.
Hey folks. This is Axel. My guest tonight was Angel's last girl friend, before the show went
off. Alex Wert wanted to do this interview, but he just disappear. I just don't know what
happened. I guess when you make fun of people spelling, you make enemies. Anyway,
please welcome Nina. Thank's for coming.
NINA.
My pleaser. I love to talk about the show, and to interact with the fans.
AXEL.
What? You like the fans?
NINA.
Of coarse. Without them, there'd be no show. Now it's true I've been busy the last few years,
and haven't kept up, but I'm changing that. I'll be doing some conventions, and meeting with
them. Did you know, I get hundreds of letters from the fans.
AXEL.
Uh Nina, have you actually read those letter?
NINA.
Well no, as I said, I'm busy, But I'm going to read them soon. And I promise I'm going to answer
EVERY LETTER. I love you guys.
AXEL.
Oh boy. Nina, I hate to break it to you, but you not the most popular character.
NINA.
Well no, I mean it's Buffy, and Angel's show. I'm just glad I could be a part of it, even in a small
way. I'm grateful for any attention I get.
AXEL.
Nina, dear sweet, sad Nina. I think you should have read at least one of the letters.
NINA.
I'm sorry, is there something I'm not getting?
AXEL.
Well see, I'm not sure how to put this, but the fans, well, hate your guts.
NINA.
What? Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
AXEL.
It's very true.
NINA.
But why would they hate me? What did I ever do?
AXEL.
It's not you, not really, She Buffy fans are a strange lot. It's like when Tara died.
Instead of getting mad at Warren, for killing her. Or getting mad at Joss, for having her killed,
for no conceivable reason, they focused all there angry on Kennedy, just because she was
there. In the same way, They blame you because Cordy died, and Angel wasn't with Buffy.
NINA.
Oh come on, they can hate me for that. I mean I get why they loved Buffy, and Cordy,
but that wasn't my fault. Besides I only dates Angel a few times, and it was over. They
must understand that. I can't believe they.
AXEL.
Nina, I hate to do this, but here's a review of a story, where you die, a painful death, after
Angel learns you eat babies.
NINA.
BABIES?
AXEL.
(Reading review) YA! Nina's dead! Happy dance, happy dance. (Singing) I hate that bitch, I
hate that bitch! Thank you so much, for killing that evil whore. YOU ROCK! Hey, maybe you
could do a sequel, where we she her in hell. HA, she deserves it!
NINA.
(On the verge of tears) STOP! My God, how could they say such horrible things? I've
never done anything to them. I just wanted to be a part of the show. Why would they say these
things (Breaks down, crying) WHY?
AXEL.
(Holding her) There, there. it's going to be Ok. I know it's hard, but I'm here for you.
NINA.
Really? Your so sweet.
AXEL.
Look, why don't you just go back to my dressing room, and we'll talk, after the show.
NINA.
We're just going to talk?
AXEL.
(Evil grin) Of coarse, just talk. (Nina walks back stage) It's good to be the king.
BEER GOOD.
You are so going to hell, when you die.
AXEL.
Yeah, well I guess I need to live it up, will I'm here then. Now Nina's waiting on me. I just have to
do something first.
Axel walks down to the basement, and opens a door. Inside Alex Wert is chained to the wall.
AXEL.
Well,I just finished the Nina interview, It went well. To bad you missed it.
WERT.
Please let me go. It's been weeks, I just want to see my family.
AXEL.
Well, I'd like to release you, but I'd have to fill out a form. Which means I'd have to write release
on a piece of paper. And well, I just don't know how to spell release. You know how bad my
spelling is, right Wert?
WERT.
Oh for the love of GOD! I haven't eaten, in weeks! The beating, I can't go ON! PLEASE HAVE
MERCY!
AXEL.
MERCY? How do you spell that?
WERT.
HELLLP!!!!!!!! SOMEBODY!!!!!!
AXEL.
(Pulls out a shock stick, and zaps him, with it) Spell it for me, mother fucker! SPELL IT!
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