Disclaimer: I own none of the Buffy characters. I did own Lady, but she always had a will of her own, and I sorta think she always thought she owned me...
Author's note: So I basically wrote this story for my cat Lady when she died two weeks ago... She was the best cat in the world and I really miss her, and I figured she deserved another life in the Buffyverse.. :)
Chapter 1
Spike woke up by the sound of the door to his crypt squeaking. He looked at it, and it was open, the sunlight blazing through it. “Who's there?” he called out. Then, thinking to himself: 'That question just makes me feel like I'm in some kind of horrormovie. I should just go look.' He was about to get up, when a dark shadow suddenly jumped on his bed. “BLOODY HELL!” he exclaimed. Then he saw it was just a cat. The cat kinda looked like a Siamese, slender and delicate, with an aristocratic look to it. But the color was quite different from a Siamese, as the cat was chocolate-brown, with brilliant green eyes. “Oh, aren't you the pretty one,” Spike said. He began stroking it. The cat seemed to enjoy it, it walked around his bed, purring. “but you do know what I do with kitties don't you?” Then he suddenly heard a voice. “Oh please, were you gonna use me for gambling?” “Whoah!” he said, “You must be soddin' kiddin' me! The cat talks?” “First of all: No, of course not, seeing as I don't have the right vocal tract for that. It's called telepathy. And second: The cat has a name. I'm Lady, sent to you by the PTP. You probably wanna think twice about playing kittiepoker with me.” She was now looking straight at him, and he couldn't believe what he was hearing. A cat that used telepathy? And better yet, a cat that outwitted him? The right vocal tract, yeah right, like he hadn't seen enough demons speak that didn't even *have* vocal tracts.
“What do you want?” he said. “Well, the petting wasn't half bad for starters.” Lady said, “And like I told you, I'm sent, by the PTP.” “Don't you mean the PTB?” Spike asked. “No, I mean the PTP. The Powers that Be have nothing to do with it. They couldn't. They're only for humans and the human-likes, like vampires. I work for the PTP... The Powers that Purr.” Lady pronounced the last two sentences with a sense of pride, like she was happy to be chosen by them. Which she was.
Spike started laughing. “The Powers that Purr? And let me guess, dogs have The Powers that Bark, birds have the Powers that Fly and rabbits have the Powers that.. yeah, what do rabbits have?” Lady nodded with the first two, and when Spike was finished, she said: “Nobody knows. It's a mystery, really. But as to why I'm here with you, in this crypt, when I could be in a nice, cozy home, sleeping in the sun, well, we need your help.” “My help? And I thought the PTP were only for cats?” “Yes, but it's a catproblem we have, and we need a vampire to solve it. I'm sure there was a Prophecy involved, or something.” “Right. So the kittie comes to me, and I help. Except, why would I?” “Because of the Prophecy, of course!” “What prophecy?” “I'm not sure.” But then Lady looked at him like only she could look, and she was simply the cutest being in the whole wide world, and Spike couldn't resist anymore. In fact, nobody could have. Lady had years of practise in looking that way, and she had totally perfected it. “Ok, so I'll help. What's the problem?”
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