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The wind was bad even before they left port. Not really knowing her place on the new ship, Buffy did her best to help with getting the sails up at the same time as she tried to stay out of everyone’s way. As they made their way out to the open sea, the wind was steadily increasing. When a particularly high wave hit the ship, Buffy found that she had to fight with her stomach so that she wouldn’t throw up. The next wave sent her flying across deck, and right into the arms of Spike.
“This is crazy,” she said as he helped her up. “Going with full sails in this weather? Not such a good idea.”
He looked up at the sails, and nodded his agreement.
“We better get down below deck.”
“That’s your best suggestion?” Buffy said and stared at him. “Couldn’t you go over to that captain that you know so well and tell him to take the sails down?”
Spike got something determined in his face as he pushed her in front him down the stairs and over to the dark corner where they had decided to place their hammocks.
“It’s not my place to tell the captain anything,” he said when they got there. “And take a look around you, at all the others here. Do they look worried? No,” he answered his own question, “because they know this ship and what she can take. We don’t.”
“Fine,” she said and sat down on her hammock. “I’ll just sit here and wait to drown.”
Spike took two steps closer, standing so close to her that their legs were touching.
“Hey,” he said in a low voice. “No drowning when I’m around.”
He reached out his left hand and touched her face, and then he let his thumb caress her lower lip.
“And what have I said about this?” he asked, their faces so close that she heard his whisper even over the building storm around them. “No pouting. Boys don’t pout.”
That made her pout even more, and she looked at him with her eyes half closed.
“I’m not a boy,” she said in a whisper even lower than his.
“I know,” he answered, never letting his hand leave her face.
The next wave that hit them made him stumble away from her, and he grabbed his own hammock so that he wouldn’t fall.
“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed. “Those sails need to be taken down.”
“Exactly what I’ve been saying the whole time,” Buffy said triumphantly. Spike’s annoyed face made her refrain from saying anything else.
“You stay here,” he told her, and then he turned around and left. Buffy stared after him, before another wave made her hold on even tighter to her hammock. She had never been afraid of the sea, but now it was pretty damn close and they weren’t even out of sight from the coast yet. Buffy curled up in her hammock and closed her eyes, trying to convince herself that this was not the last day of her life, and that she wasn’t terrified.
Buffy pressed her mouth firmly shut. Her teeth ached as she clenched them together. She would not throw up. She wouldn’t act like some kid who was out on his very first journey. She wouldn’t get seasick. She hadn’t thrown up once since her own first journey, not even in that storm when she really thought she would die, and she wasn’t planning on doing so now either. Buffy swallowed back the bile that rose in the back of her throat, and then she swung her legs over the edge of her hammock. The fresh air out on deck would help, she told herself. She scurried over the crew quarters and climbed the stairs up to deck, fighting with the wind to get the shutters up before she fell out on the main deck. She stumbled over to the railing, hanging on to it so hard it made her knuckles whiten. I’ll look at the horizon, she thought. I’ll just focus on the horizon, and this horrible feeling will go away. Buffy lifted her head and tried to find the place where the dark sea met the sky. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized what it was she saw before her.
The steep cliffs that made up the coastline were dark grey in the dim light. On top of one of them, a lighthouse sent out a beacon of light, and in the windows of a couple of small cottages along the edge of the rocks, lights shone despite that it was still only afternoon. Buffy could see something moving high up there, and she realized it was someone walking. She really shouldn’t be able to see that. They were supposed to be a lot further out, so far out that the cliffs only would be seen a shadow at the horizon. She wasn’t supposed to be leaning her head back to see the top of the cliffs. The ship dipped down as another wave formed in front of Buffy’s face, and for a second she couldn’t see the terrifying cliff. Then it was back, and she was sure it was even closer this time. She managed to draw a shaky breath, and then she was leaning over the railing, throwing up.
The lights on the coast disappeared and reappeared as the ocean shifted around them. A storm out on the open sea was an entirely different thing than this monster that ripped at the ship. A storm out on open sea she could take. Buffy knew that they at any second could be thrown into the steep cliffs, and it made her feel dizzy. She stayed at the railing until there wasn’t anything left to throw up, and then she turned around to go back down below deck. She preferred not knowing how close to the dangerous cliffs they were to seeing them right in front of her face. She gasped as she looked out over the deck, and she couldn’t hold back the whimper that forced its way out of her mouth. The sails were still up.
“God, it’s cold out there!”
Buffy opened her eyes when she heard Spike’s voice. She hadn’t been able to sleep, and the last couple of hours had been horrible. She watched him as he pulled off his soaking wet clothes and changed into something that was dry before he got into his hammock. He pulled his blanket over him, shivering under it.
“Are we dead yet?” Buffy asked, and Spike turned his face in her direction.
“What was that, pet?”
“Are we dead yet?” she repeated. “Have we crashed into the cliffs yet?”
“What?” Spike asked. “Dead? We’re not dead!”
“Oh. Good. I’m not sure I want to spend the rest of my life as a ghost.”
Despite that he was freezing, Spike got up from his hammock and went over to Buffy.
“Are you alright, kitten?” he asked and placed a cold hand on her forehead. Buffy sighed as the cool touch seemed to spread throughout her head. “You’ve got a fever, pet. You’re burning up. Move over a bit.”
He was more worried than he let on when he climbed up into her hammock, knowing that his own cold body would take her temperature down at least a little. Her body was almost too hot to touch as he pulled her close to him.
“Where you out there, luv?”
“I threw up,” she confessed. “The lighthouse was right above me. And the sails… The sails were still up.”
She struggled to sit up, but he pulled her down, forcing her to rest her head on his chest.
“Shush, pet,” he whispered. “It’s okay. The captain knows what he’s doing. We had to go close to the coast, because the water’s too shallow further out. We’ve past it now, though; we’re out on the open sea.”
“Promise?” she asked, sounding a lot younger than her fifteen years.
“Promise,” Spike answered. “The weather’s probably going to be pretty rough until we reach Cadiz, but after that it will be easier. We’re safe, kitten.”
She sighed against his chest, and he felt her relaxing.
“You’ll always keep me safe, right Spike? You’ll never leave me?”
“Never, sunshine,” he answered and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll always keep you safe.”
He held her close as she fell asleep, listening to her breaths as they became slow and steady.
Buffy stared up into the darkness above her. For a moment she was blissfully unaware about where she was, but then she blinked and it all came back to her. The new ship. Giles. The storm, the cliffs. Spike. She didn’t even have to turn her head to know he was still with her, the raising and sinking of his chest lifting her head with it as he slept next to her. At least the ship wasn’t being thrown around by waves anymore, and dawn crept closer, chasing away the darkness that surrounded them.
When the morning bell rang, Spike stirred beside her. He sighed, and pulled her closer to him, for a moment hugging her tight and burying his face in her hair. The bell rang a second time, and he let go of her.
“’Morning,” Buffy said.
“’Morning,” he answered, his voice thick from sleep “Are you feeling better?
“Yes. A lot.”
“Good.” He pulled out his right arm from beneath the blankets, and held his palm against her forehead. “Yeah, you don’t feel as warm anymore.”
Untangling himself from the blankets, he got up from the hammock, stretching out his arms above his head as he walked away.
After breakfast, everyone gathered on deck where the captain was waiting for them. Buffy stayed close to Spike as the captain started what seemed to be a long speech about the journey they had in front of them. He described the rut they would be sailing, and it seemed to be pretty much the same one as all the other journeys Buffy had been on. At the mention of their first stop, Cadiz, Spike smiled and leaned closer to her.
“Two weeks ‘til I meet my dark princess again. Can’t wait!”
Buffy smiled, more because she knew he expected it than because she wanted to. She tried to concentrate on what the captain was saying, but the words he was saying didn’t seem to make sense. She was glad when he finished speaking and she could return to her chores.
“Do you like the ship?”
Buffy turned around, surprised to be interrupted as she was cleaning the deck from the traces of the storm. The captain, Angel, was standing right behind her.
“It’s big,” she answered. “And, you know… well, big,”
He laughed and waved at her, encouraging her to join him as he walked across the deck.
“It was one of the things that made me want it,” he told her. “That, and the fact that it was lying in port when I decided I wanted a ship.”
Buffy frowned. The captain kept walking, not noticing her face.
“I want a good crew for my ship,” Angel continued. “Men who know what they do. Men who are not afraid of... well, anything, really.”
He stopped and talked to some of the other crewmembers, and Buffy waited behind him, sure that it was more to this than what he had said so far. She wondered if the way she had behaved the night before was what had caused this little conversation. If it was, she knew she could convince him it was not something that would happen again. As Spike had said, it had all came from her not knowing the ship yet. The captain resumed his walk across the ship, and she followed him.
“I only hire men I know can do their job. Spike, for instance,” Angel said, waving his left hand in the direction of the blond man. “I know he can. I told him years ago, that if he needed a job, he always had one at my ship. That’s why I knew, when he showed up a couple of days ago and said he was looking for job for himself and a friend, that he would never recommend anyone that wasn’t up for the part.”
Angel stopped and looked at her. It made her uncomfortable.
“About yesterday,” she started. “I was not...”
“This isn’t about yesterday,” he interrupted. “Listen, Ben, I just want to tell you…”
A deckhand walked passed them, and the captain waited until he had passed.
“I heard Spike on the docks,” he said as it would explain everything. Buffy stared at him. Angel had turned around, and looked out over the sea. She frowned. He had heard something on the docks? She didn’t understand.
Then it came back to her.
She had just seen the ship for the first time, telling Spike that she liked it. “Glad I could offer you such a fine gift, milady,” he had answered. Buffy’s breath caught in her throat, and she leaned against the railing, not even seeing the sea as they moved across the waves. She couldn’t even think straight. What would happen to her? Would she be thrown off?
“I… I…I…” she tried, not getting the words out. The captain placed a heavy hand on her shoulder.
“I just want to tell you that I trust Spike’s judgement. He said you can do the job, and I believe him. Welcome aboard.”
With that, Angel turned around and left, leaving her alone at the railing. For a while, she just stared in front of her. Then she dried off the tears that she hadn’t even noticed had fallen down her cheeks, and returned to her job.
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