I did not create, nor do I own, the major characters in this story. Buffy, Giles, Faith, Xander, Oz, Angel, Cordelia, Willow, and Spike all belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I did, however, create the storyline they now inhabit. Thanks to Laur, who originated the general idea for a “film noir” episode of Buffy. The title for this story comes from the excellent movie “LA Confidential.” That’s it. Hope the lawyers are happy.
***
“Ow!” Buffy paused expectantly for a few moments after pinching herself in the radio building elevator, hoping she might wake up. Nothing. Okay, she thought to herself, that theory is ruled out. Just then the elevator doors opened, and Buffy walked through the lobby and out onto the street below. Her eyes widened as she stared in awe at her surroundings. Classic cars lined the streets, people everywhere were dressed in old-fashioned clothing, and a large billboard proclaimed, “Remember to buy your war bonds!” Buffy turned around in place slowly, trying to take it all in. She spotted a newstand on the corner and rushed over to it, dying to know the date but fearful of the answer.
“No End in Sight on the European Front,” the headline read. Buffy looked frantically in the paper’s upper corner for the date. December 5, 1943. Cursing her history class yet again, Buffy tried to remember what was happening in the world in late 1943, fully fifty-five years earlier than it had been when she fell asleep in her room the night before. World War II, obviously. And the golden age of Hollywood, which she apparently was a part of, although possibly not for long if Giles was right. Buffy looked up from the paper and toward the opposite end of the newstand; what she saw made her duck behind the corner of a building and inhale sharply. Giles and Faith were huddled over the latest issue of Variety and talking animatedly about its contents.
“Casting calls, baby! Oh, what about this one, G? Listen to this: ‘Dark and mysterious Other Woman.’ Don’tcha think I’d be perfect for that?”
Faith’s louder-than-life voice carried easily over to where Buffy was hiding. Giles, on the other hand, was more difficult to hear; however, the gist of the conversation obviously seemed to be about getting Faith some acting work. Weirdness, Buffy thought to herself.
Buffy strained her ears trying to pick up their conversation. Suddenly she could no longer hear them. She peered around the corner just in time to see Giles hail a cab, open the car door for Faith, and then climb in beside her. After the cab pulled away from the curb, Buffy stepped out on to the street again, completely flustered by what she had just seen. Okay, she thought, so I’m a fading movie star. And Giles is my agent. But he just ditched me. At a radio station. And he ran off with Faith, who I guess is a movie star too? Hey, I’m obviously the one who needs a good gig right now! What is that about?
Before Buffy could come up with a satisfactory answer to her question, she heard her name being called. She turned around and saw Xander running in her direction, yelling, “Buffy! Buffy, wait!” Xander caught up and stopped in front of her, gasping for breath and unable to speak. Buffy thought frantically of what she should do. She decided to keep playing along.
“Yes, Mr. Harris? Is there something I can do for you?” she asked innocently.
Xander looked crestfallen. “God, Buffy,” he sighed dejectedly. “Stop with the ‘Mr. Harris’ thing already. You don’t wanna return my calls, fine. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re not interested in me. I can live with that. But don’t leave me hanging with a bunch of dead air on my show, and don’t stand there and act like we’ve never even met!”
Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise. Well, she thought, at least she and Xander were still friends in this weird alternate timeline. That was something, anyway. “I’m sorry, Xander,” she replied. “No more ‘Mr. Harris,’ I promise. And about your show, Giles told me not to say anything about my, um, current . . . employment conditions. I didn’t do it to be mean, honest.”
Xander looked encouraged, but still doubtful. “That doesn’t explain why you didn’t even answer my invitation for the USO show.” He began rambling. “I mean, really, I’m going out on a limb here Buff, trying to establish myself in the entertainment community, trying to do my part for the war effort, and I could have used a little support from-”
Buffy cut Xander off. “What? What show? U.S. who?”
Xander looked confused. “You really don’t know?” he asked.
Buffy shrugged. “You’d be amazed at what I don’t know recently,” she quipped.
“Wow,” Xander responded. “I can’t believe you don’t know! I’m hosting a big Hollywood Christmas show for the troops overseas. We leave in three days! Invitations for performers went out months ago!” He paused momentarily, as if the pieces of some great mystery were just coming together. “You know, I thought it was weird when Giles signed up some other girl from his agency instead of you. I just figured you wanted nothing to do with me. You mean he didn’t even tell you about it?”
Buffy made no effort to supress the suspicion in her voice. “What was the name of this other girl Giles signed up instead of me?” she asked.
“Nobody I’d heard of before,” Xander said. “Faith Somebody-or-other.”
Buffy pursed her lips together as her frustration rose. Was Giles trying to sabotage her carreer? Or was he simply too taken with Faith to even remember about her? Well, she thought, Buffy Summers will just have to work extra hard on her own. “Boy, it’s nice to know some things don’t change,” she said aloud sarcastically.
“Huh?” Xander asked, one eyebrow raised in concern.
“Nevermind,” Buffy said. She pulled her hair behind one ear determinedly and stood up straighter. “You know Xander, I’m gonna act like a free agent here for a minute and say I wanna go with you to Europe after all. I wanna be in the show. Is it too late?”
An enormous grin spread across Xander’s face. “It’s never too late for you, Buffy.”
“That’s nice to hear,” she responded.
Just then a cab pulled up to the newstand, and several passengers emerged. Xander rushed over to the car and held the door open. “Wanna share a cab uptown?” he asked genially.
“Sure. Why not?” Buffy thought fast as she stepped inside. “But let’s drop me off first. You wanna give this guy directions?” she asked.
Settled comfortably in the back seat with Xander beside her, Buffy gazed out the window. Well, this is getting interesting, she thought. I just hope Xander knows where I live.
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
