Scene opens with a shot of a TV, which currently show a news lady reporting.
WOMAN
…The death toll over the greater part of LA county is just shy of 1,000 now, and officials say that number is bound to rise. Police say this overnight catastrophe, which caused an estimated $180 million dollars in damage, was one of Los Angeles’ largest earthquakes in over 50 years. (Spike laughs in the background) Unique to this disaster, however, are the growing number of witnesses who claim the destruction was not earthquake-related.
Cut to (within tv): a wankster young man in front of his house, which is charred in one corner and a large portion in the middle is missing, as if a demon barreled through it.
INTERVIEWEE (flustered)
This wassunt no f***ing earthquake, b. There was f***ing dragons and s***. And this ain’t like those kimono dragons or nothing, but the big ass s*** from the movies, like breathin fire an s***. The f***ing ***** went an lit my f***ing house on fire, an I was like, s***!
Cut to: a moving shot of Spike’s apartment, which reveals Angel sleeping on a pull-out sofa-bed, and Spike sitting in an arm chair next to it, holding a beer and the remote. Meanwhile, the anchor’s voice concludes (o.c.):
WOMAN
Police are further investigating these seemingly far-fetched claims, but the primary concern of Los Angeles Commissioner Logan Echolls is, quote “to return to normal life as quickly as possible.” I’m Barbara Walters, and you’re watching HBC’s 24-Hour coverage of The Los Angeles Earthquake.
While it cuts to commercial, Angel stirs.
ANGEL (face half in pillow)
Turn it off.
SPIKE
Gotta stay informed. Knowledge is power.
ANGEL (slightly louder)
Turn it off.
SPIKE
It’s my home, don’t go shouting orders.
Angel sighs and sits up right.
ANGEL
This isn’t working out.
SPIKE (softly, sarcastically)
You’re not breaking up with me, are you?
ANGEL
I need to find a place to live.
SPIKE
You could always go back to that hotel.
ANGEL
It got demolished.
SPIKE (thinks, shrugs, turns head)
You’re screwed, then.
Angel gets up.
ANGEL
Got anything other than beer? Blood, maybe?
SPIKE
Check the fridge.
Angel proceeds to the fridge, and pours himself a glass of blood.
SPIKE (still sitting, talking over TV)
So, uh, I noticed you and Buffy weren’t all flowers and kisses when she left…
ANGEL
(glares).
SPIKE
Can’t imagine why. You being such a charmer and all.
ANGEL
Things needed to be said whether she liked it or not. I can’t help it if she gets pissed off. (Takes a swig of blood).
SPIKE
Right, and now you’ve got your own pet werewolf.
ANGEL (annoyed)
Yes Spike, so don’t let me stop you from swooning over your teenage boy love over Buffy, cause I really don’t care.
SPIKE (as he sips his beer)
Hey for you information, mate, I denied her request to be her lapdog again so I could clean up your mess here.
ANGEL (under his breath)
So you’re going to be my lapdog, huh?
SPIKE
That’s right, come scratch me belly.
ANGEL (changing the subject)
Where’s Illyria.
SPIKE
She went off to go play with a drunk around 2 last night. She must’ve fancied him. Hasn’t come back since.
A moment passes, and Spike sips his beer. Angel hangs his head awkwardly.
SPIKE
So, uh – I just have to ask…what’s the plan then, mate?
ANGEL
Plan? What plan.
SPIKE
Sitting on our asses day and night sure seems fun and all, but I can’t help but feel we have a job to do, a moral obligation…what was it…Oh, yeah, saving lives.
ANGEL
We just need lay low for a while. Wolfram & Hart’s probably out there looking for us as we speak.
SPIKE
Bollocks. We kicked their lawful asses out of our dimension for good, remember? Oh, right. You don’t. You were busy pretending to be catatonic or whatever. The things you’ll do for attention…
ANGEL
There’s just...It’s more complicated than that. Way more. And it’s best for us to sit tight until…time passes. We’ll take cases as they come, sure. If there’s an immediate problem, we’ll be there to fix it. But really Spike – how are gonna help people when we don’t even know where to begin? We don’t have “visions” anymore, we don’t have an office building at our disposal – we’ve got nothing.
SPIKE
And you’d fancy keeping it that way?
ANGEL
That’s not what I said –
SPIKE (gets up)
Well it’s either that, or you’re just in a fit because you didn’t single-handedly defeat evil this time. Sorry, Chuck. Apocalypses can be fickle like that. But let me know when big, smarty-pants Angel wants to come out and play, because we’ve got a weak city that needs a white stallion of the night right now. We’ve got to get our act together and hit the streets! It’s not like trouble’s gonna just march through that door-
A werewolf suddenly blasts through the door. Spike spills his beer and shouts, “Oy!” Angel takes a battle stance. The werewolf goes to the center of the room, and surveys the area.
A man with a sniper-sized gun, apparently a hunter, walks in.
HUNTER
Stand back! This beast is dangerous.
He advances on the werewolf, who dodges behind furniture while the hunter tries to take aim. Angel steps in.
ANGEL
That better be a tranq gun.
HUNTER
Don’t waste my time, civilian. This beast is unnatural and must die.
ANGEL (rushed)
It’s human 28 nights of the month, so back off.
SPIKE (from behind the chair)
Uh, Angel, it’s broad daylight, that’s not right…And bloody hell! Look at the thing! It’s cowering in the corner. It’s frightened of this git.
Angel looks out the window. He frowns, but maintains a firm grip on the hunter’s gun.
OZ (o.c.)
Wait, guys! (zoom Oz, human and naked, then quickly to Angel and the hunter, and finally back to Oz) I can explain.
CUE TO CREDITS.
Angel
Starring David Boreanaz
James Marsters
J. August Richards
Amy Acker
Max Perlich
Jenny Mollen
And Seth Green.
Guest Starring
Jonathon Hyde as McNeil
Tom Cavanaugh as McNeil’s boss
Kathy Bates as Henri
Fade into Oz on the ground, Angel standing in front of the hunter, and Spike crouching behind a chair.
OZ
It’s me! It’s Oz.
ANGEL
(Turns to hunter) Get out.
The hunter glares at Angel, starts to turn, but doubles back and fires. Angel knocks the gun off course, then grabs the hunter by the collar.
ANGEL
What the hell did I just tell you!?
HUNTER
This is a demonic beast! Its existence will only further the plague of lycanthropy! It must be –
Angel points the hunter’s gun at his throat. The hunter shuts up, and Angel tilts the gun as if to shoot. The hunter sweats fervently, but Angel then snaps the gun in half. The hunter starts backing up towards the entrance.
HUNTER
This won’t go unnoticed. The beast must return to the bowls of hell and all those who stand by it will face the purge! (He flees)
SPIKE
Puritans. You know, there’s a reason we Brits got rid of ‘em.
A moment passes.
OZ
Um, hey.
Cut to: moving shot of Spike’s apartment, where Gunn, Illyria, and Nina have joined. Camera focuses on Gunn for a moment, who sits bandaged in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Oz explains his situation.
OZ
… So I had to leave Sunnydale for a while till I worked things out. I came back when I thought I’d learned to suppress the wolf in me, but that was a bust. Long story short, here I am 4 years later with a guitar on my back and the wind in my hair. Word of advice – monks hate guitars.
A moment passes. Camera pans out to show whole group.
GUNN
That doesn’t explain anything.
SPIKE
Specifically, why the hell he’s dogboy in broad daylight.
NINA (focusing hard)
No, wait…I think I get it. So you can control when you want to be a werewolf? Just like, decide when you wanna whip out the claws, then change back when you’re done?
OZ
That’s the gist of it.
ILLYRIA
This is confounding. Why would a werewolf purposely confine itself to the limitations of human form? It is unnatural.
Oz looks quizzically at her.
ANGEL
You said you went to a monastery?
OZ
Yeah, it was a werewolf tolerant society in Nepal, way up in the mountains.
ANGEL
I went to a Sri Lankan one for a summer…
OZ
Zhang’Zhu?
ANGEL
No, demons.
OZ
Oh.
NINA
Yeah we’ve heard that story, sweetie. Oz is talking. (Angel pouts). So…what was it like there? How werewolf friendly are we talking?
OZ
…Well, I went back to the monastery and asked them what the hell was up. Then they said I needed more practice, and I was like, to hell with that, and they were like, you must learn patience and all that Zen crap. I was about to call it quits, but I thought of… how happy I had been in Sunnydale…with Willow. I thought that if I could master this wolf issue, things could finally be like old times.
ANGEL (delicately)
Oz, there’s something you should know…
SPIKE (bluntly)
Willow’s gay.
OZ
Yeah, I know. I knew it then, too, but hey – whatever keeps us going.
SPIKE
I hear that. Back when I had the chip, I really wanted to kill Xander. But I couldn’t, and that pissed me off a good bit. But I stuck with the scoobies, hoping one day I could finally kill the bloke…
OZ
Yeah (silence follows).
NINA
Um, back to the werewolf part…
OZ (laughs)
Dying to know about werewolves, huh?
NINA
What? No. I mean, not really. What makes you say that?
OZ
Well, uh – you are one.
Nina glares at Angel.
NINA
Tell the whole world, why don’t you!
ANGEL
I didn’t –
OZ
Wolfy-sense. One could argue it’s the reason I’m where I’m at today. But anyway…I gave the whole reinvention thing a shot, like I said. A little training here, some meditation there, and I’m a brand new wolf.
SPIKE
A brand new wolf being chased by Colonel Sanders.
OZ (shrugs)
One in the same.
ANGEL
Yeah, about that –
NINA
He wasn’t trying to eat you, was he?
OZ
Don’t think so.
ANGEL
So then…why’d he want you dead?
OZ
You mean other than the fact that I’m a werewolf?
ANGEL
Oh. Right.
SPIKE
Intolerant git.
ANGEL
So what made you leave the monastery?
OZ
Needed some help.
GUNN
Looks like it.
ANGEL
Protection?
OZ
You could say that. But for now, I need help tracking someone down.
ANGEL
We’re good at that, too. Who’d you have in mind?
OZ
Yeah, see, that’s the tricky part.
SPIKE (rolls his eyes)
You don’t know who you traveled half-way around the bloody earth for?
OZ
She’s a psychic or something, if that helps.
SPIKE
Oh, that’s a –
ANGEL
Yeah, we’ll help you out (Spike looks over at Angel, annoyed). It’ll get us focused again….Nina, help Gunn with research?
NINA
Uh, I can read. English, anyway.
ANGEL
I’ll ask around, use a few connections (grabs his coat).
GUNN
Since when do you have connections?
ANGEL
Hey, I always have connections.
SPIKE
Right then…guess I’ll just sit around, enjoy my beer.
ANGEL
Stay here with Oz. incase he comes back (he opens the door).
GUNN
Angel Investigations is open for business!
Cut to: the hunter, walking in a dark, secretive area. He looks fearful, and stops when the caricature of another man appears in front of him.
HUNTER
I shall spare you my worthless pleas. I have failed, entirely.
MAN (lightly)
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your only failure is to see how your confrontation bares constructive findings. You’ve revealed that the werewolf did in fact make contact with the vampire’s company. And though I suggest you take a less bold approach now, I daresay this bit of intelligence allows us to move on to more immediate actions.
HUNTER
I should have its head right now.
MAN
And instead of that, McNeil, you’ve provided us the gift of knowledge. I advise you to be less concerned with the brutalities of your orders and focus on timeliness and efficiency. The Great Purge is not about barbaric rituals or petty trophies, after all. It is about what’s necessary to ensure our wellbeing in its entirety.
McNeil’s solemn expression fades to a vague grin.
MAN
Track it. Corner it. Separate it from its group and tear it apart. Whatever you do, don’t underestimate the resolve of the vampire. The dawn of The Great Purge is near. Let nothing stop the human race prevailing.
McNEIL
Your ambitions will be my triumphs.
Cut to: Gunn and Nina sitting at a table overflowing with books. Gunn looks perturbed, wheeling around the room searching for the right books. Nina seems uninterested in research, gazing out the window with her head resting on her hand.
NINA
I think I’ll be ‘werewolf relations’ person.
GUNN
What?
NINA (dreamily)
You know, everyone in the group has a role. Angel’s the brave leader, Spike’s his sassy sidekick –
GUNN
Just don’t tell Spike that.
NINA
It’s just like, everyone’s so important. There’s no dead weight in team Angel. Even that creepy Illyria can fight pretty well.
GUNN
Lately all she wants to do is talk to hobos or yell at park benches.
NINA
And then there’s you. Mr. bookworm.
GUNN
I’m really not, actually. That’s…or, it used to be…. (Looks down) Wesley.
Nina’s typically happy persona quickly fades to shame.
NINA
…Oh, I’m so sorry.
GUNN
No, it’s – it’s ok. Things have been happening so fast, lately, it’s like I barely have time to feel sorry over it anyway. (Turns a page in a book) And honestly, I kinda hope it stays that way…
NINA (sympathetically)
Yeah, it’s nice not to have to deal with all the pain we keep bottled up. To be numb to it, like it’s not even there. (Sits back) Everyday I try to just move from the life I once had. The life I can never have again because of my…condition. But the problem is, these things will always be gnawing at the back of your mind. No matter how much you try to dismiss it, it’ll always come back to haunt you.
GUNN
If only moving on was as easy as slaying demons.
A moment of reflection passes.
GUNN
I hear booze helps with that.
Nina smiles and lets out a faint laugh.
NINA
I’m sorry – that was supposed to be a pep talk. Kinda went the other direction.
GUNN
Nah, it’s true… yeah, so since I’m not exactly able-bodied right now, it’s the only way to make myself useful.
NINA (changing the subject)
Well books certainly aren’t going to be my field of expertise.
GUNN
Yeah, speaking of that, how bout you go get some food or something. I’ll just be here, actually working.
NINA (vaguely smiles)
Well alright then. That’ll be my job. Delivery girl.
She starts walking towards the door.
NINA
I won’t let you down!
Cut to: Oz, sitting in a chair, reading. He’s alone in the room, until Illyria walks in carrying a dead bird in her hand. Oz looks pensively at it.
ILLYRIA
I used to crush your kind as I have this aviary being. (Looks down at it)
OZ
So - Angel tells me you’re like…an ex-demon god?
Illyria continues to inspect the prize she has in her hand.
OZ
You catch that all by yourself?
ILLYRIA
That which cannot protect itself should not continue to exist.
OZ
I disagree.
ILLYRIA
Your opinion is worth less than your race to me.
OZ
I’m just saying. I don’t know how it used to work, but there’s delicate balance of interests in this world. See by killing that bird, you just single-handedly increased the insect population.
ILLYRIA
Yes, I see. Warring demon-gods inadvertently paved the way for your pestilent kind to soil this dimension.
OZ
…Something like that.
Illyria looks intrigued. She sits down across from him, dead bird in hand.
ILLYRIA
Tell me more.
OZ
We call it a food chain. If a piece of the chain is broken, everything above it falls apart.
ILLYRIA
You depend on these creatures?
OZ
Yeah – It’s what makes this world so connected.
ILLYRIA
It upsets me.
OZ (deadpan)
Oh.
ILLYRIA
Everything is so weak and thin, strands of chaos hanging together by the winds of such an imbecilic power as what you call nature.
Awkward pause.
ILLYRIA
You seem wiser than the rest. Perhaps your knowledge would be best served alongside our leader.
OZ
Angel?
Illyria nods.
OZ
Could work.
ILLYRIA
I would not loathe your presence.
OZ
Thanks.
Angel walks into the room, and Oz seems very relieved.
OZ
(nods) Angel.
ANGEL
Think we’ve got a lead.
Angel looks down at the bird in Illyria’s hand, alarmed.
OZ
Biology lesson. (A moment passes) You…had… news?
ANGEL
Uh, right, well I, personally, didn’t find -
GUNN (rolling up from behind Angel, burrito in hand)
- As far as the books are concerned, werewolves and psychics don’t mix. But I did find this (he gives Oz the book, which has a picture of a man with a rifle). That’s the same rifle the Hunter was carrying, right?
OZ
Except not broken.
GUNN
These hunters are part of some werewolf-hating faction over 300 years old.
ILLYRIA
Trivial human sanctions.
OZ
You don’t say.
GUNN
And their mission statement is to perform…’The Great Purge.’ (Looks up) Know anything about that?
OZ
Enough that I hope it’s wrong.
GUNN
Cause the way this book describes it, it’s pretty big. Slaughter, guns, cavalry…happens every so often near areas of werewolf concentration…
A moment passes.
ANGEL
This is more than just finding a psychic, isn’t it?
OZ
I was hoping it wouldn’t it wouldn’t get that far. The whole Purge thing is just talk right now, I’m making sure it stays that way.
ANGEL
So you’re looking to prevent this thing?
OZ
A bunch of Purists killing innocent people, probably me included, who wouldn’t? And I figured with my ability, I had a shot….I mean, who said you have to be a slayer to delve into heroics?
SPIKE
Quiet little dog-boy becoming the next hero? Now I’ve seen a lot in my day, but -
ANGEL
Why didn’t you tell us that to begin with?
OZ
Willow said you guys have a lot on your hands; didn’t want to get you all distracted. I’m a werewolf, ergo it’s my problem….I learned a lot in that monastery. The origin of lycanthropy, the balance of life forces in this world…it’s enough to get you worried about genocides like this. Still, it’s my problem, I don’t want to drag you into it.
ANGEL
My girlfriend’s a wolf. Call me old fashioned, but I like to know ahead of time when her life’s in danger….
OZ
Well, the first step is still the first step. This lady I’m looking for can hopefully shed some light on it. If you’re still interested in it, like you say, we can take it from there…
The group thinks for a moment.
ANGEL
Look, it’s nightfall now – I’ll go see what I can find out about all this. That is, if any of my contacts are still alive.
SPIKE
Shotgun.
ANGEL
Um, I’ll go alone.
SPIKE
The hell you will!
ANGEL
(Starts walking) I’ll be back if I have any news.
He opens the door and leaves.
Oz looks quizzically at the door.
GUNN
He’s always like that.
Cut to: Angel, walking down a dark alley. The atmosphere is eerie, and scattered lampposts are all that provided patches of light. After several moments of wandering, a trash can falls in front of him, and he cautiously proceeds. A silhouette of a man appears behind him.
WHISTLER
You always did find refuge in trash cans.
ANGEL
I knew if I wandered around for a while you’d come. That’s how we met, after all. Gotta say, that’s creepy –
WHISTLER
I’m a creepy guy. At least that’s what the ladies say.
ANGEL
Know anything about –
WHISTLER
A psychic to help your werewolf friend dig some dirt about The Purge? Don’t know jack. And might I take this opportunity to say how stupid that sounds?
ANGEL
How did you…
WHISTLER
I wouldn’t be a very good messenger if all I did was sit on ass and watch America’s Next Top Model. Which, by the way, I’m missing.
ANGEL
Looks like we’ll be running into a dead end.
WHISTLER
Mysterious, isn’t it? It’s like the Senior Partners pulling the plug on their army.
ANGEL
I knew you’d bring that up.
WHISTLER
You haven’t even stopped for two seconds to think about the storm that’s coming, have you? Not to mention that fact that you probably haven’t even told your buddies the truth.
ANGEL
What, I’m supposed to tell them “Sorry, but we didn’t actually stop the apocalypse at all. By the way, they want Illyria.”
WHISTLER
It’s the truth.
ANGEL
Well this isn’t about that. I’m here helping out a friend, and you’re just -
WHISTLER (more focused)
You can’t just stick your head in the ground and pretend the Senior Partners will go away. They’re interested in you, Angel. If you were smart you’d find out why.
ANGEL
I already know why.
WHISTLER (gravely)
There’s more they want from you than just stabbing Illyria in the back. There’s always more with them.
ANGEL
Well unless the Powers suddenly wake up and help out, there’s not much I can do about that.
WHISTLER (sarcastically)
Now those are words of a true hero. (Starts staggering around, looking up at the sky) Hey, powers! Wake up! Give us a message so Angel doesn’t have to actually think about anything!
ANGEL
You’re worthless.
WHISTLER
I Guess I am. Just a big old fraud (a moment passes, he shuffles his feet). Well, sorry I couldn’t help your werewolf issue. I really am. Of course, you wouldn’t be half as interested in it if your girlfriend wasn’t part of that crowd….that is why you’ve resorted to secretive meetings in the alley, isn’t it? (starts to walk away). You take care, Angel. I’ll be around. (Angel starts walking away as well, but Whistler suddenly has a seizure) Oh God – damnit, no, why now? These things suck! ARGGH – I was just KIDDING –
Whistler’s eyes turns to a white glow, and his mouth opens with likewise illumination. Angel looks on in confusion. Out of the light, an image is projected: it is of a curbside address, 1174 Charter Oak. The image flashes several times to reveal an interior, exterior, and the woman herself.
Whistler ceases to shine, and he falls down on the ground, coughing and moaning.
ANGEL
What the hell was that?
WHISTLER (annoyed)
What do you think, moron? (Coughs) That’s the Power’s first class mail via yours truly! Looks like they care about your werewolf, after all. (Moans) Christ, that hurt.
ANGEL
What, so I’m just supposed to believe whatever comes outta your mouth?
WHISTLER (further annoyed)
Uh, hello, did you see the light show?
Angel remains silent.
WHISTLER
Look, you don’t have to believe a word I say. But I wasn’t sayin it. The powers were playing a pretty straight-forward version of pictionary. And if you want to throw away perfectly good information because you have a trust issue, well, explain that to your werewolf buddy.
ANGEL
Then you’re coming with me. No harm in that, right?
WHISTLER
(Laughs) Now that’s where my line of duty ends. The field work. I’m just the messenger Angel; I’m not much for the hands on. You, on the other hand, can handle everything just fine on your own. I’ve seen you. (Takes a step closer to Angel) And in order for this alliance of ours to work, you’re going to need to learn how to trust. (Backs away)You can start by trusting me. (He starts walking away into the shadows of the alley.) Cause you know I’ve been rootin for you.
Camera focuses on Angel, looking anxious, as Whistler disappears into the night.
Cut to: Spike’s apartment, where the gang is assembled around Angel. They all seem skeptical, while Angel hangs his head in a quiet guilt.
SPIKE
So…what, this information just pissed itself into your brain?
ANGEL (appealingly)
Look, guys, the purpose of an informant is that they can inform. And besides, how I found it out isn’t important right now. What matters is that we get Oz to where he needs to be. That way, Oz can continue his quest, we’ll have just done a good deed, and everyone’s happy.
A moment passes.
OZ
Well I’m convinced.
ANGEL
That’s the spirit.
The others, minus Angel, look skeptically at him. Nina, however, seems intrigued.
OZ
I mean, what’s the point of getting leads if we don’t take them?
SPIKE
Fine, Fine – I’ll go. Could use some time away from this dank hovel anyway. But don’t say I didn’t warn you about this.
NINA
Alright! My first mission!
ANGEL (apprehensively)
Nina, I think it’d be best if you stay here.
NINA
Don’t you dare give me that “it’s too dangerous” speech. It might’ve worked on some girls, but –
ANGEL
Actually, I think Gunn could use the company (he leans over to her and whispers). And he’s already tipped over in that wheelchair a few times. Keep an eye on him.
GUNN
Have not!
NINA
Fine. Just this once (she kisses Angel).
SPIKE
Let’s get this over with so I can laugh at you the way home.
ANGEL
We’ll just survey the area, approach it casually, but cautiously – what could go wrong?
Cut to: A shot of a hot pink neon sign that reads, “Henri’s House of Fortunes: Get yours today!” There’s an image of tallot cards and a crystal ball next to it, with streaming pastel colors lit around it. Above it all, there’s an image of a gypsy lady jovially waving people in.
Cut to: Angel and Spike, looking up at it. For a moment, neither one of them says anything.
SPIKE
…Right then.
ANGEL
Spike, just….don’t.
SPIKE
What, don’t say I told…
ANGEL
Spike.
SPIKE
Bugger this. I tell you what. You just go ahead and give me $50 and I’ll lie to you and tell you what a smart bloke you are…Oh, and I bloody told you so.
Cut to: shot of Oz and Illyria, who are standing behind them, silent.
ANGEL
We don’t know anything about her; it might just be a cover.
SPIKE
Cover my ass! She’s another John Edwards! Sylvia Browne! Miss Bloody Cleo – different name, same scam each time!
OZ
We’re already here. (He starts walking to the entrance) Worst comes to worst, we’ll get our horoscopes.
ILLYRIA
The elucidations are attractive on a primal level.
SPIKE
That’s called exciting advertisement, love.
Cut to: a sweeping shot of them filing towards the entrance, and the neon sign comes into view.
Cut to: Shot from inside the building, Oz walks in, followed by Angel, Spike, then Illyria. They all stop immediately.
Cut to: a moving shot of the waiting room, which has dozens of cheap trinkets laying about, a fake plant in one corner, tye-dye shalls strewn across couches, and a door that has a sign reading, “Henriette is busy; please be seated while your future unfolds.”
SPIKE
I’ve had enough of this (turns around, but Angel stops him).
Oz notices a quiet man sitting in one of the couches, reading a magazine. The man looks up.
MAN
Oh, are you the 9 o’clock? Don’t worry, I’m the 9:30, I just like to get here early.
OZ
Yeah, um – she here?
MAN (giddy)
Oh yes. She has foreseen your arrival.
The gang remains where they stand, still bewildered by their surroundings. Angel, obviously perturbed, is the first to walk towards the door. The rest follow soon thereafter. Angel opens the door.
Cut to: The camera reveals a large, circular room, elaborately decorated with blatantly stereotypical psychic objects. A plump lady sits behind a crystal ball, brandishing it with hands encumbered by over a dozen rings.
HENRIETTE
The cards have told me of your arrival. Please, sit (she gestures).
She has the stereotypical Italian accent to accompany her fraudulent practice.
ANGEL (delicately)
Are you a – do you… (Thinks) This is ridiculous (turns).
OZ
(Blocks him) Horoscopes.
ANGEL
Oh come on, this is a waste of time.
OZ
….Or a test.
ANGEL
She’s a con artist!
SPIKE
Damn right she is!
HENRIETTE (vaguely)
I sense that you are troubled.
ANGEL
I can’t take this.
HENRIETTE
Many trials await you.
ANGEL
We’re leaving.
HENRIETTE
Is it the accent? I knew it was too much. (Angel looks at her, dumbfounded) The really stupid ones find it comforting.
SPIKE
Well I’ll be damned. She’s not a scammer. She’s a brilliant one!
HENRIETTE (dismissively)
Please – I don’t know the first thing fortune telling! It’s all a crock of bull, if you ask me. I’ve been scamming idiots for years now….It’s funny how much money they’ll throw at ya if you can guess their name.
SPIKE
What’s my name?
HENRIETTE (rudely)
Annoying Customer.
SPIKE
Bitch.
HENRIETTE
(Ignoring him) Well, my werewolf friend, let’s get down to business. And I’ll explain how I know you were a werewolf later.
The gang looks surprised, Oz sits down in front of her.
ANGEL (to Spike)
Why don’t you take Illyria back in the waiting room.
SPIKE (spitefully)
But I want my fortune read.
ANGEL
Go.
SPIKE
(Glares for a moment) Fine – But not because you told me. (Haughtily) I actually don’t want my fortune read.
Spike leaves with Illyria in tow.
HENRIETTE
Alright then, buddy. I assume you’re looking for potion that’ll cure you?
OZ
They have those?
HENRIETTE
No, but don’t tell that to the hopefuls.
OZ
Well…yeah, I’m kind of looking for some answers.
HENRIETTE
Well now, that depends on the question. Who sent you?
OZ
Wolfsbane sanction – Nepal.
HENRIETTE
Hot damn! Last one of them I had my way tried to bite mah leg off. (Clears off tax bills from her desk) Have a seat, nameless hero.
OZ
Oz.
HENRI
I didn’t ask. But neither did you. Not that I told you my name, though. Name’s Henriette, Henri for short.
Camera focuses on Angel, who’s utterly confused.
OZ
….Fascinating
HENRI (to Angel)
Hey you – need me to talk to your long lost relative from (eerie emphasis) beyond the grave.
ANGEL
No.
HENRI (closes her eyes)
It’s- It’s a woman…She’s very pretty…she’s saying, “Why are you so moody?”
ANGEL
That’s not funny.
HENRI
No, you’re right. If it pays the bills, it’s all stone-faced.
Cut to: Spike and Illyria sitting in the waiting room. Spike is reading a magazine, while Illyria stares at the quiet man across from them. The man looks up clearly intimidated. Cut to two shots, one of Spike, one of Illyria, subtly emphasizing their freakish hair. Illyria cocks her head. Several more uncomfortable and comic moments pass.
ILLYRIA
He reeks of fear.
SPIKE
Play nice.
ILLYRIA
I intimidate him. I feel…pleasure at that…and slightly irritated.
SPIKE
Leave the gullible sod alone. He’s in a bad state if he’s come into this place.
The man had obviously had enough, and he leaves. Spike seems oblivious.
ILLYRIA
But I wished to strike conversation with him.
SPIKE
And instead you scared the knickers off him.
ILLYRIA
But why? I walk as a human.
SPIKE
Sorry love, but the smurfette look just doesn’t sit well with some people. Plus, those eyes…Why do you look like that pet?
ILLYRIA
The shell I inhabit…
SPIKE
Fred! You’d do well to know that word.
ILLYRIA
Fred…her body…suffered from a certain degree of entropy. Things are not quite the same as they were. I can focus my woefully limited powers and modulate the form some, but I have taking a liking to this sh…appearance. That man…did Fred inspire such dread in others?
Spike laughs, then catches himself, feeling guilty.
SPIKE
No…She was about as beautiful as they come. Inside and out. Had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever known….and she wore it proudly.
ILLYRIA
Then perhaps if I assume her visage, the world will not fear me as much.
SPIKE
I thought you ate fear for breakfast.
ILLYRIA
I wish to better communicate with others. I am annoyed that I wish to, but yet I cannot resist.
SPIKE
Well, don’t use Fred to do it. Angel isn’t ready. I’m not ready.
Spike looks upset. After a moment, he continues reading.
ILLYRIA
What is that you examine?
SPIKE
Hustler. It’s a – cooking magazine. Great stuff.
Cut to: Henri and Oz sitting across from each other, and Angel standing bored in the background.
HENRI
…Well what the hell do you want? Lotto numbers? Which horse to bet on?
OZ
What do you know about the Great Purge?
HENRI
About as much as Arnold Schwarzenegger knows about the English language. Next!
OZ
Is it true?
HENRI
(Gravely)Yes Oz. It’s true. (Chipper)Bye now!
OZ (slightly bothered)
Were the elders right? Is it coming?
HENRI
The only thing that’s coming is the pizza guy who I will NOT tip now that he’s 5 minutes late –
OZ (slams his fist on the table)
Damnit people will die if you don’t tell me!
Henri is startled by outburst. Angel looks on, motionless.
HENRI
You think I don’t know that? (Leans forward) the entire balance of man and wolf are about to go seesaw on us. The whole order of things is out of whack, prime for a Purge to take place. But we can’t discuss this now.
OZ
Yes, we can. Tell me everything you know.
HENRI
Really not a good idea.
OZ
Why?
HENRI
You weren’t the only one with interest in the Purge who visited me today.
Cut to: Spike and Illyria in the waiting room, when a suited man walks him. He seems exhausted.
MAN
Someone help! Please! There are these…people harassing two girls down in the alley!
SPIKE
Slow down, mate. What happened?
MAN
I tried to help, I did…but those guys…they were stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. One of them bit me!
SPIKE
Sounds familiar. (Turns to Illyria) Let’s go.
They run out of the front entrance as the man looks on, visibly pained. After they’ve left, the man sheds a suspicious grin.
Cut to: Henri’s office, where everyone is tense.
OZ
What are you talking about?
HENRI
You know damn well what I’m talking about. I had no choice, they would’ve killed me where I stood if I didn’t agree.
OZ
Agree to what?
HENRI
Trapping you.
At that moment, all three windows shatter and three men with rifles barrel in. Henri screams. A fourth man, McNeil, kicks down the door. As he walks in, a procession of four or five hunters follow.
McNEIL
I’m altering your destiny, werewolf. Send my regards to Satan.
He aims and fires, but Angel jumps in the line of fire and takes the bullet. Henri takes her opportunity to flee through the back entrance.
The other hunters ignore Angel and take aim at Oz, who ducks under the desk. Several shots are fired are narrowly miss him. The hunters take only a few seconds to reload their silver bullet rifles, but by the time they’re done, Oz has transformed into a werewolf. He throws the desk at a grouping of them.
Cut to: Spike and Illyria, who find a group of vampires beating up two girls. As they get closer, the group looks up and ceases their activity. The two innocent girls raise their heads to reveal vampiric visages.
ILLYRIA
The man was stupid.
SPIKE
Or he lied to us. But why…(he hears the shattering of furniture inside) Angel’s in trouble. Stay here, keep them occupied.
ILLYRIA
I welcome combat.
Cut to: Werewolf Oz circling around the room, dodging bullets while finding things to throw at them. He is careful not to get near them, however, for they are human and susceptible to being turned. Meanwhile, Angel limply fights McNeil, who wields a silver club.
McNEIL
You are not my target, vampire. I seek only to kill the lycanthropic blight. (He takes a stab, Angel dodges)
ANGEL
You’ve seen his real face! How can you kill someone who you know is human?
Angel throws a punch, McNeil ducks and he hits the wall. McNeil clubs him on the back.
McNEIL
His real face? (Another downward swing) His real face is that which rends the flesh of its enemy! His real face is constantly tainted with the blood of its victims! Do not stand against The Purge, vampire, or you’ll find yourself swept up in its righteousness.
ANGEL
You wanna see my real face?
Angel grabs McNeil’s hand as he makes a downward slash. As he pushes him up against the wall, Oz finally has to flee through the back entrance, and the other hunters pursue.
ANGEL (suddenly dawning his vampire face)
I know all about werewolves. I’m dating one. And whatever backwards satisfaction you get from killing them, it’ll be nothing compared to the satisfaction I get from killing you and your hunters. So why don’t you call off this Purge of yours.
The hunter is shocked and in stasis, but a stray hunter on the ground fires at Angel and hit in the back. He releases McNeil.
McNEIL
The Purge is sealed, as is your fate.
McNeil opens to the door to the waiting room, where Spike was just coming in. McNeil runs past him, pushing him out of the way. Spike looks disoriented, but enters the room.
SPIKE
Angel – the hell happened?
ANGEL
We need to find Oz.
SPIKE
Right then. (Helping Angel up) Some bloke gave us the “help me” routine. If I didn’t have a soul, I wouldn’t fall for that…
They head out the back exit.
Cut to: Oz, still in werewolf form, barreling down an alley. At the far end of the alley (Where the car is), Illyria decapitates her last vampire, then turns to see Oz being chased by several hunters. She starts walking towards them.
Angel and Spike sprint down the alley after them.
Ozwolf turns around, seizes a dumpster and slides it towards the hunters. Two of them are knocked off their feet, but three remain in pursue.
ANGEL
Oz, run towards the car!
One of the hunters unsheathes a throwing knife and it at Ozwolf. It sticks him in the back of the leg. He lets out an “arf,” then falls over.
ANGEL
Damnit!
SPIKE
They don’t give up!
The hunters move in towards Oz, now human, as they prepare their rifles. Illyria intersects the path of the hunter who threw the knife. She grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground.
ANGEL
Don’t do it!
ILLYRIA
He has caused pain to an ally. I will rip his throat out.
ANGEL
It’s not what we do!
Illyria hesitates for a very tense moment, then quickly, brutally snaps his neck. The limp body slides out of her hand.
A silent moment passes over the scene. The other hunters flee.
ANGEL (to Spike)
Get Oz.
Spike nods, without taking his eyes off Illyria. He walks over to human Oz, who clutches his wounded calf. Meanwhile, Illyria stares at the body.
ILLYRIA
Justice is served.
Angel angrily rushes toward Illyria and pushes her against the wall. She pushes back, but only enough to break his grip.
ANGEL
I won’t stand by while you kill humans!
ILLYRIA
But you tolerate their incessant attempts to kill your allies?
ANGEL
(Firm) I won’t stand by it. We don’t kill humans, we protect them.
ILLYRIA
And what will you do about it? Best me in battle?
ANGEL
(Hesitates) I’ll kick you off the team. Leave you alone on the streets so you can slowly self-destruct because you can’t handle the outside world. You’ll kill people, cause destruction, and you’ll start to hate yourself for it because you’re so alone. And that’s a battle you’ll never win.
Cut to: shot of Spike, looking on as he stands behind the car door.
ANGEL
That wasn’t justice, Illyria. It was murder.
ILLYRIA (to Angel)
How can you lead others – you can’t even bring yourself to do what’s necessary in battle.
ANGEL (turning around)
Murdering that man was NOT necessary! It was a choice. What’s necessary is to separate the demon world from the human world. We don’t go around killing humans and demons like they’re the same. The world I fight for doesn’t work that way.
SPIKE
You made a promise to Wesley. Said you wouldn’t kill anymore if he adapted you to this world.
Illyria reflects on that last statement.
ILLYRIA
He would disapprove of my actions. (Looks up at Angel, and a shed of decency enters her eyes for a moment, but leaves) But he is dead. It matters not.
SPIKE
Obviously it does. Just look at the state of you.
ANGEL
What’s it gonna be Illyria? Cause we’re not going to have this conversation again.
ILLYRIA
I…I will comply.
The camera slowly pans out to a bird’s eye view as Angel walks away from her. The alley is a mess, and the dead body rests at Illyria’s feet. Screen fades.
Cut to: Oz, lying in bed. Nina enters the room to bring him food.
NINA
Feeling any better?
OZ
I say one thing, my leg says another.
NINA
Yeah, yeah. Eat your soup like a good wolf. (she puts the bowl on a side table) Speaking of which, did you find that lady okay? I mean, before you were attacked?
OZ
Yeah, I think I did.
NINA
What’s the verdict? Do we wolfies have reason to fear?
OZ
(deadpan) Fear has a reason to fear me.
NINA (sarcastically, but admiringly)
Wish I could be like you. You know, a werewolf in control of his shifting. Here I am, stuck caging myself up 3 nights of the month.
OZ
It’s a Zen thing.
NINA
Is that so? Wow, that clears everything up. I’m a brand new girl.
OZ
(Reaching for his bowl) Maybe I can teach you a few tricks when we have the time.
NINA
Wouldn’t that be a little dangerous?
OZ
Yeah, probably.
NINA
But… then again, it would be nice to make the whole thing less of a drag.
OZ
Yeah that part doesn’t suck.
Cut to: Angel, Gunn, and Spike sitting around a table cover with books and boxes. Angel sags in his chair, looking down. A shot of Spike follows, looking bored, and Gunn, looking deadpan. After a moment, Angel straightens up.
ANGEL
I understand that the recent pace of things has a few of us anxious, and it might feel like we’re not doing a whole lot. Well, other than the whole Purge thing, but that’s beside the point. I’ve told you all to lay low for a while, without doing a whole lot of explaining.
GUNN
Or even a whole little.
ANGEL
Yeah, I know –
GUNN
I just don’t get why we can’t get back to our old lives. Fighting the small time fights, helping out small time lives. Wolfram & Hart is dead and buried, but that doesn’t mean we should be too.
SPIKE
See, he gets me.
ANGEL
Well, about that –
SPIKE
It’s like we’re supposed to be retired now. ‘Hooray, we stopped an evil law firm. My job here is done.’
GUNN
Truth is, we’re never done. We have the knowledge, experience, and the big guns to keep helping people. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s that we don’t stop fighting after one win.
Angel stops trying to interject, and instead starts to reconsider his speech.
SPIKE
I don’t see either one of us human, mate. Which means there’s still a whole lot more Shanshuing to be done. Redemption, in your case. I’m mainly along for the ride.
ANGEL (long pause)
You’re right. There’s nothing stopping us from going back to our roots – Back to the mission statement we had with Cordelia and Doyle so many years ago….back to Angel Investigations.
GUNN
About time.
SPIKE
Didn’t know either of the blokes too well, but I take it they knew what the job was and stuck with it….(Angel and Gunn look at him) You’ve got my interest.
ANGEL
Then it’s settled. Angel Investigations is back in business….but we have to be on our toes. We can’t count of the fact that Wolfram & Hart won’t come back at some point.
SPIKE
Yeah, yeah. Save a damsel in distress, baby from a burning building… an evil law firm from time to time. It’s all in the same line of work.
Triumphant music builds as the camera focuses on each person. Camera pans out, and the music fades into an awkward silence.
SPIKE
Yeah, well….I’mma see what’s on the telly (he gets up and heads towards the door).
GUNN
And I’ll…go wheel around (he heads for the door, but then turns around to Angel)….It’s what they would’ve wanted.
ANGEL
You wheeling around?
GUNN
Doing what used to, before apocalypse threats came around every week. Cordelia and Wesley would’ve liked that.
Gunn opens the door, and as he wheels out, he meets a man.
GUNN
Angel? Think you’ve got a customer. (He gestures the man into the room).
Angel looks up to find it’s Whistler. Gunn takes one last look at the two of them, them closes the door as he leaves.
ANGEL
You’re no customer.
WHISTLER
Not at this joint. (He takes his hat off). I was just stopping by to see how things went.
ANGEL
With Oz? Well, the address was right. Everything else kinda went to hell.
WHISTLER
Hey, not my fault. Just the messenger.
Angel files a few papers.
ANGEL
Is that all?
WHISTLER
Um….there was something else….Oh yeah. Don’t lie to your friends.
ANGEL
What are you –
WHISTLER
Just now. “Wolfram & Hart is dead and buried.” Nice job.
ANGEL
Hey, I didn’t say it.
WHISTLER
No, but you let them think that. The new Angel Investigations won’t last long if you can’t get your facts straight.
ANGEL
It’s just temporary. They need to have a period of adjustment, and they can’t very well do that if they know Wolram & Hart could be on the rise. Again….And what the hell were you doing listening in?
WHISTLER
Hey, buddy – I was just strolling by (puts his hat on). No harm in that! Hey, look. Leaving! (He heads towards the door). Certainly wouldn’t want to get in your hair when the big bad lawyers come. Possibly having to do with Illyria.
ANGEL
Leave.
Whistler leaves hurriedly, leaving the door open. Gunn shouts in.
GUNN
Everything cool in there?
ANGEL
Yeah…
Cut to: a shot of McNeil walking down the familiarly dark hallway. He stops again at the shadowy caricature of the same man he saw before.
MAN
The look on your face suggests the task is not done.
McNEIL
An apology would not serve justice to my shortcoming.
MAN
And neither does sulking about it, McNeil.
McNEIL
The wolf and vampire…they are a deadly pair. Many of my squadron did not survive.
MAN
All the more reason to keep fighting. Don’t give in, my good man, this is only the preliminary round. The Great Purge is near completion, and when it happens, not a single werewolf will escape its wrath.
McNEIL
The Purge will succeed where I have failed.
MAN
Granted, it would have nice to eliminate the enlightened one before The Purge…but there are more than a few ways to skin a wolf.
McNEIL
What will you have me do now?
MAN
You have done enough. Hone your weapons and skills for the Purge, and I will seek outside help….now excuse me while I call my lawyer (revelation music).
Cut to: Illyria sitting at the TV, and she looks quizzically at it. Spike sits down on the couch next to her, seizing the remote. A quiet moment passes.
ILLYRIA
This box displays lies.
SPIKES
Or solid entertainment. Take your pick.
A moment passes.
ILLYRIA (abruptly)
I feel shame. I don’t know why.
SPIKE
TV can’t hear you, love. That’s one of the wonders of it.
ILLYRIA
I killed a mere human, as I have killed thousands of inferior beings, like swatting at gnats. But never has it troubled me.
SPIKE
What’s this? Is someone getting a conscience?
ILLYRIA
I wish it to stop.
SPIKE
Don’t we all.
ILLYRIA
You dismiss my grievance?
SPIKE
Look, do you feel bad?
ILLYRIA
I do.
SPIKE
Then don’t do it again. Feel bad, get over it, don’t do it again. It’s how we cope. Unless you’re Angel, then you feel bad, guilty, self-pity, and brief glimmers of hope followed by crushing shame. Not necessarily in that order.
Cut to: Angel, brooding over a picture he holds in his hand. Nina walks in, and hugs him from behind, kissing him on the cheek.
NINA
Nurse Nina has everyone taken care of.
ANGEL
Thanks.
NINA
No, really. Don’t get up. Don’t want to interrupt in quality brooding.
ANGEL
Yeah, sorry, it’s been a rough week.
NINA
I’ll grant you that. An apocalypse isn’t an easy thing to put behind you. (Sits next to him) But you know what the best remedy for that is? Ice cream. You need ice cream.
ANGEL
I really can’t.
NINA
Just because you don’t eat –
Angel gets up as she speaks.
NINA
Where you going?
ANGEL (as he puts his coat on)
I’ve got to go visit a friend.
He leaves, and closes the door. Nina Looks bewildered. The camera wanders down to the picture Angel was holding; it was one of Wesley and him.
Fade to: black.
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