Author’s note: To simplify things, the story will move forward from the time that eleven-year-old Buffy (pretending to be thirteen) takes hire on The Belle. (Well, at least most of the time it will…) So to find out the reason she’s standing alone on a different dock, getting off another ship, eight years later, you are going to have to keep reading… ;)
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The first week after they shipped out was horrible. Buffy spent most of her time leaning over the railing, throwing up into the waves. The others laughed at her. Well, everyone except the other boy that had taken hire at the same time as her. He kept her company, having his own troubles with adjusting to the sea. The deckhand that had been the first one Buffy met, the one that everyone called Giles, seemed amused at their troubles.
“You’re lucky the weather’s good,” he said to them. “I can’t even imagine what a storm would do to the two of you right now.”
“A storm?” the other boy, Xander, croaked. “This isn’t a storm?”
“Of course not,” Giles laughed. “It’s just a little windy.”
At that, Xander threw up again. Buffy felt herself getting a bit paler at that thought, too.
“Don’t worry, Ben,” Giles said to Buffy, using the name she had given them. “You will probably have your sea-legs by then. Both of you,” he added with a pat to Xander’s back. He left them hanging over the railing.
“This is horrible,” Xander said to Buffy. “I thought leaving for the sea would mean adventures and pirates, not me feeding the fishes.”
“At least it’s not your body doing the feeding,” Buffy answered. “And I don’t think we’re supposed to wish for pirates. I’ve heard about some, and they are not very nice.”
“Of course they aren’t nice. They’re bad, and we’re good, and we would fight them, and we would win because that’s what good people do. And I would get to wear a shiny sword.”
“Shiny swords are expensive,” Buffy said with a small laugh. “I’m pretty sure the captain won’t just give you one.”
“Yeah, me too,” Xander said gloomily. “It would be nice, though.” He spat into the sea, and they stood side by side, watching the setting sun sink beneath the horizon.
“Things is turning out a lot different than I expected, is all,” he said when it was gone. “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”
“I’ll stay here for a while longer.”
“Good. Don’t want you throwing up inside again. See you.”
When Xander left, Buffy leaned against the railing, watching the darkening sky. Everything sure turned out a lot different than she had expected, too. The Belle had been the first ship she had ever set foot on, many years before. Her father had taken the whole family to see the new ship he had bought. Her mother had held on to her hand, and the nanny had walked after them, with Buffy’s newborn baby sister in her arms.
“Look at this,” her father had said, stroking the very same railing she was now leaned over. “This is a true beauty. Just as you, princess. I named her The Belle, after you.”
“Oh, Hank,” her mother had said. “It’s just like you to do such a thing.”
“Only the best for my girls,” he had answered. “I have to go and talk to the captain for a bit.”
Buffy had held on tight to her mother’s hand.
“It’s moving,” she said, feeling a bit queasy.
“It’s because it’s on the sea,” her mother said. “Are you feeling seasick?”
“Seasick? What’s that?”
“That’s the thing land people like you and me feel when we get on a ship. We’re not used to the ground moving under us.”
“A little, I think,” Buffy had answered, and then they had left the ship. She had never thought she would be on it again, and feeling that seasickness so bad. She looked up at the dark sky. The stars were so much closer than they were on land; it almost felt as if she could touch them just by reaching out for them. She wondered how her sister was, and what she was doing. With a sigh, she turned around and left the stars and the thoughts, moving down below deck to get some sleep.
Life on a ship wasn’t anything that Buffy had imagined. There was a routine in everything; cleaning the deck every morning, making sure the rig and the sails were whole during the day, and keeping guard during the night. It became a bit boring after a while, but the stories the others on the ship told her about their other journeys made it seem like there were plenty of adventures to expect, maybe hiding just around the corner. Or, well, behind the next wave. After the initial seasickness had passed, both Buffy and Xander had gotten those “sea-legs” that Giles had talked about, moving around both on deck and below without any trouble. It was a bit harder to adjust to the food. Her mother had always made great food, and they had always had fresh vegetables from the small garden behind the house. On the ship all that the crew had to eat was salted meat, and dry bread. Buffy tried not to look too closely at those pieces of bread – there always seemed to be something crawling in them. The two cats they had aboard seemed pretty interested in the bread sometimes too, even though they were well fed from all the rats that always seemed to run around on the ship.
The weather stayed clear for the first couple of weeks, letting them meet port in Spain without any trouble. They stayed in Cadiz for almost two weeks, while they filled the hold with cargo. Buffy and Xander, together with some of the other younger boys that worked on the ship, weren’t allowed to leave the ship while they were in port.
“You might be too impressed with this wonderful place, and take off,” Giles teased them. “I’ll think of you the whole time!” Then he left, with a wave and a laugh. Buffy stayed by the railing, watching the life on the docks. There were so many people there, and so much going on. She felt that she could stay there for ever, just watching everything. Xander stood beside her.
“This sucks,” he said. “There’s a whole town here, right at our feet, and we aren’t allowed to go and experience it.”
“What were we supposed to do there, anyway?” Buffy asked calmly. She had gotten used to her friend always wanting things he couldn’t get.
“Well, you know, experience it! Go to an inn, or meet some nice girls.”
Buffy laughed at him.
“Right, and they would just fall head over heals for you.”
“Of course they would. I’m a sailor!”
“Yes, a sailor who’s fourteen years old. They wouldn’t even notice you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Xander insisted. “You, they wouldn’t notice, because you’re only thirteen and look like a baby. I, on the other hand, I already have a moustache!”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do! Look!” Xander tilted his head so she could take a closer look. “See, right there, over the lip.”
“Oh, right, there. Wait,” she said, reaching up and wiping it off. “There, it was just a little bit of dirt.”
“Hey!” Xander protested, sounding highly insulted. “You just stole my moustache!”
“Since we’re not allowed on the docks, you’re not going to need it anyway.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Xander said, going back to leaning on the railing beside her. “Still, it would have been nice to feel some land under my feet.”
“Look on the bright side: this way, maybe we won’t get seasick,” Buffy said, trying to cheer him up. He just grunted in response, and they stood together in silence, watching the docks.
The first real storm hit them only a couple of days after they had set sail from Cadiz. Buffy was climbing in the rigs, trying to help to get the sails down. Not that she was of much use, though. The others were faster and stronger than her, and used to the work. Still, she was up there. She wanted to learn, she told herself: that why she was there. In reality, she just loved the thrill of it. The wind whipped against her, throwing her around in the rig. She held on to the ropes, climbing higher and higher. They all shouted at each other, giving instructions or asking for help with their tasks. Their voices were ripped from them by the wind, thrown away over the raging sea. Buffy screamed against the wind, knowing that no one would hear her. It was liberating, just to scream. She glimpsed Xander, not far away from her, and he smiled at her, a crazy smile, and his eyes gleamed. He loved it as much as she did. He climbed closer to her, swinging in the rig.
“Ben!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. “This is great!”
“I know!” she shouted back, not longer being able to hold in the laughter. “It’s amazing!”
“And it could get you killed, the both of you!” Giles shouted from next to her, startling her so she almost lost her grip. “Get down on the deck! You’re in the way!”
Feeling ashamed, both of them hurried down to deck and continued below deck. They were both soaking wet from the storm, just like most of the other crewmembers. Buffy helped to lash down some of the things that were stored down there, but most of the things were already secured. Giles came down a couple of minutes later, looking at her and Xander with flaming eyes.
“What did you think you were doing out there?”
”We were just trying to help,” Xander said, and Giles snorted.
“Some help! A lot of help it would have been, not having the two of you here tomorrow. Do us all a favour, and stay out of the way until this storm blows over.” He turned around and left, muttering as he walked up to deck.
The storm threw the ship back and forth, making it impossible to sleep. Most of the ninety men working onboard were down below deck, and Buffy lay in her hammock underneath the ceiling, looking down at the poorly lit space. She guessed she should be glad she wasn’t seasick at least, but she still felt the embarrassment from having Giles telling her and Xander off. Xander had tied his hammock up next to hers, and he was lying on his back, staring up into the dark boards above him. If the light had been better, she would have been able to see the light green tint to his face. Seasickness definitely wasn’t a finished chapter for Xander.
“Do you think we’ll survive this storm?” he asked in a voice so small she had to strain her ears to hear.
“Sure we will,” she answered. “No-one else seems worried.”
“Maybe they’re just trying to be nice to us.”
“They’re not.”
“You’re probably right,” he agreed. They listened to the creaking sounds the ship made when it was tossed around by the waves.
“Do you miss home?” Xander asked after a while.
Buffy shrugged.
“I miss my sister, sometimes,” she admitted. “I’m better off here than back there anyway. Do you? Miss home, I mean?”
“Sometimes,” he said. “I didn’t think I would, because my parents aren’t much of… well, parents, really. Still, sometimes, I miss them. I even miss my uncle Rory, and his stupid songs.”
She was starting to feel sleepy. Xander talked a bit more about his home, but she wasn’t really listening anymore. The wind seemed to settle a bit, and she was rocked to sleep.
Giles wasn’t the type that held a grudge. As soon as the storm had passed, he started teaching them more about the ship. When the next storm came as they were passing Sao Paulo, he let them help a bit on deck before sending them below. He looked out for them, and when they made port in Cape Town to refill their supplies, he actually let them accompany him into town and showed them around. To Buffy, a whole new world had opened up. In this new world, she wasn’t expected to sit patiently and sew, or read poetry. It was a world of possibilities and opportunities, and she sure was going to try and take every one. They sailed around Cape of Good Hope during one of the many storms that often haunted those waters, and she stayed on deck the whole time, keeping her eyes on the barely visible piece of land at the horizon.
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That first journey had been so peaceful. She had learned a lot, with Giles helping her and Xander keeping her company. When they had reached their destination, Canton, they had stayed for four months. Those months had been heaven to her. Spending the days on shore, and the nights in her hammock on the ship, working hard a lot of the time but still having time to explore the new country. It had been good. Buffy wished she could get that feeling back, the content and happy feeling she had had when she was twelve. Things had changed after that. When they got back to England, Xander left. He had grown during the year-and-a-half they had been at sea, and he said he was sure his parents would find him a better help on the farm with all his new muscles. He had had his adventure; he didn’t need the sea anymore. Buffy still needed it, she craved it. The Belle would stay in port for a couple of months, and she knew she didn’t have the patience to wait for it to ship out again. She found another ship, Mary, which would leave within the week. To her surprise, Giles joined her on the new ship.
“Life on land doesn’t hold much for me,” he had explained. “By the way, you might want to start hiding your breast, girl, or they will find out about you pretty soon.”
She was shocked by his words, but he was right. She had developed quite a bit without her even noticing. She took his advice, and he never mentioned anything again, still calling her “Ben” and treating her like any of the other boys. In a way, she loved him for it.
She missed him. If he had been there now, he could have helped her, given her advice. She couldn’t stop looking at the Alma over by the end of the docks. Maybe if she just went over there, just once, for a short while. She knew she shouldn’t, but she wanted to. Felt it pulling her closer.
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