“So about this Irving guy?”
“Yes Dawn I remember.” She had caught him coming out of his room and was hijacking him to an alcove near the conference room. Xander knew to tell her as much as possible before the meeting in Giles’ room so he started right up.
Irving watched the women at the club ooh and ahh over the dancer on stage done up like Dracula and Lestat’s love child. His dancing didn’t seem all that great but the ladies were practically drooling puddles out for him. Irving watched his remaining clothes get stuffed with more and more bills and decided he would do. All he had to do was wait at the backdoor.
As Xander was leaving for the night he felt more worn out than even the high school graduation/ Ascension had left him. He had danced three sets that night and even though his wallet was fatter than it had ever been he wasn’t sure he could walk back to the motel. However that wouldn’t be a problem because as he was thinking these tired thoughts, someone whacked him over the head with a brick, knocking him out cold.
When he woke up he was tied up in his room, with a gag in his mouth. ’I knew I couldn’t trust that Orion guy!’ he thought to himself as he looked around his room for a way to get free. He quickly realized this wasn’t his room. For one thing the bathroom was on the wrong wall and the bed was slightly wobblier. ’Just my luck I get kidnapped by someone staying in the same crappy motel I am. Couldn’t I just once get kidnapped by a heiress or a mogul.’ In walked a man in a blue leisure suit carrying a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water.
“I’m gonna give you some aspirin for your head,” the guy said, “if you scream when the gag comes out, I’ll slit your throat.” Xander got fed four aspirin at once while looking at his kidnapper. Mostly bald, with thick glasses, and a whiny voice. A pathetic looking specimen, made more so by the fact that the knife he brandished was one of the steak knives from The Fabulous Ladies Night Club, which Xander figured was a good thing. By the time this guy sawed through his throat with that thing, work would have noticed he was missing, and he didn’t go back in for three days.
“If this is about money, your out of luck,” Xander said in his best soothing voice. “All I had was in my wallet.”
“I don’t want your money,” said the whiny voiced man, “I want you.”
“Say what?”
“I saw you dance, and I just knew you were the one for me.”
X
ander’s eyes grew wide in horror. He was about to be raped by the only queer in California with no fashion sense. “If you’d please start cutting my throat now, I’d appreciate it.”
“You don’t get off that easy.”
“Please.”
“No! If you want to get off…”
“I really don’t.”
… “then you must take me…”
“Out to the ballgame.”
… “and teach me…”
“How to whittle, you’ve got the knife already.”
… “how to be sexy.”
“PLEASE DON’T… come again?”
“How to be sexy, get chicks.”
“Okay, lesson number 1, don’t call them chicks.”
“Really?”
“Yes really. Lesson number 2, change your clothing to something more modern.” If this guy asked him what was in fashion Xander knew he was in real trouble. Cordelia hadn’t been able to impart any fashion sense in him while they were dating, what hope did he have with this guy. But every delay left him alive to figure a way out of this. Then in the window Xander saw his salvation.
“Lesson number 3,” Xander said making sure to keep the strangers attention away from the window, “duck!” Just then Orion jumped through the window, sword in hand, and tackled the odd man to the floor. Suddenly the mans eyes changed to a dark red and he easily threw the hunter off his back. Orion landed on the bed and bounced back on his feet. The nerdy kidnappers clothes unfolded from his body into a pair of bat-like wings. His feet were cloven hooves, and he now had no clothes on. Xander averted his eyes from the demons nakedness as Orion tried to leap at the demon. Unfortunately his feet were tangled in the cheep covers on the floor and Orion fell to his knees. The demon took this opportunity to run out the door yelling, “Thank you for the information, perhaps I can repay the favor sometimes.”
Orion winced in pain as he stood up to walk over to Xander and cut his bonds. “What info did you give him?”
“Dating advice,” Xander answered, “Though I’m not sure why he wanted advice from me.”
“He’s a incubus,” Orion said, “he feeds on the sexual energy of female humans. It’s supposed to be really intense sex, addictive, and potentially fatal.”
“Oh,” Xander said, truly bothered by the fact he had helped the fiend, “oops.”
*************************************************************************************
“We’re gonna be late if we continue this right now.” Xander told the obviously disappointed Dawn.
“After the meeting tonight I must hear the rest.” Dawn said as she grabbed his hand to drag him to Giles’ room.
“You got a deal
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