Twinblade- Well as you viewers already know everything at Axel’s arena has spiraled completely out of control. I however am still contracted to do more villain interviews and since the Time Machine is being repaired Again I am stuck..er..happy to have on todays show Angel.
(Angel walks out to loud applause and booing intermixed)
Twinblade- So Liam, do you mind if I call you Liam?
Angel- Actually I gave up that name hundreds of years ago.
Twinblade- Cool Liam thanks. Since you remember all the horrific things Angelus did I’m just dying to know something.
Angel- (sighs) what do you want to know?
Twinblade- How do you like your cheesecake?
Angel- Huh?
Twinblade- How do you like your cheesecake? With strawberries, chocolate, plain?
Angel- I’ve never actually had cheesecake.
(Twinblade just sits and blinks, uncomprehending.)
Angel- but I’ll try it if you have some readily available.
Twinblade- Well Axel and I are currently in negotiations about my cheesecake per interview payment, but I’m sure he’ll come around soon since everyone else seems to think he’s a murderer. Yet I do have a slice of the local deli’s cheesecake handy. Try a bite.
(Angel tries a bite and starts grinning like the Cheshire cat.)
Angelus- This is the most perfect thing I’ve ever tasted. Have you had any recently?
Twinblade-(totally oblivious) Why yes I have. But why are you in game face? You don’t need it to eat human food.
Angelus- Human food hey? Don’t mind if I do. (Angelus lunges for Twinblade only to be stopped dead in his tracks) What the hell?
Twinblade- Oh sorry I had a coven put a shield around me just in case this happened.
(Sultry voice offstage)- Why thank you sweet boy for bringing my Angelus back to me. (Darla walks on stage)
Angelus- About time you showed up Darla. What say you and me together pound his shield into nothingness and then feed on a two-bit hack writer. (They start kissing passionately)
Twinblade- HEY!
Angelus- Oh face it nobody likes your stuff but you. A psychic dog. How ridiculas is that?
Twinblade (smiles innocently)- Ask him yourself.
(suddenly a fluffy wolf-spitz (Keeshound) runs on stage and stares at Angelus intently. Angelus shakes all over and morphs back into human face, turns to Darla and stakes her.)
Angel- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Twinblade- projective empathy. Lucas made you feel true happyness when you put the fake cheesecake in your mouth, and then dropped the sensation when Darla got close enough to you. That’s one fuck up I’ve fixed…sooo many more to go.
Angel- It wasn’t even real cheesecake.
Twinblade- What? You think I’m going to share my cheesecake with a vampire? Get an un-life you’re not that cute. (Twinblade turns around to leave.) Oh, as far as the hack writer bit goes. (Twinblade looks down at Lucas. Suddenly Angel grabs his head and starts screaming.) Lucas just looped Limp Bizcut singing ‘Mandy’ through your brain… forever. Good-bye Liam.
Twinblade (As he and Lucas walk away from the shaking vampire)- What do you mean I’m evil enough without a robot duplicate?
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