W-
Okay, guys. I'm not wanting around for the cops, Axel is going to pay.
AUSTIN-
Hold on, girl. Axel doesn't strike me as a killer. How do you know that someone isn't setting him up?
W-
Factoid one: Axel was insane after he found out that I gave Faith a massage.
AUSTIN-
A massage? Is that what you guys call it?
W-
What do you mean?
DIAMOND DAVE-
Sweetheart....the man found you in your dressing room with you wearing a robe and Faith in her underwear.
W-
Faith was upset about missing the Sox win the World Series, so we had a girl to girl talk. And I gave her a body massage to relax her. Honest!!! Besides, Faith is....was straight, and everyone knows Willow is my REAL target.
DIAMOND DAVE-
HA! You said 'was straight'. What did you mean by that, huh?
W-
I said that because she's DEAD, you washed up minion. Anywho....it was been established that he was insane. Factoid two: this letter I received in the mail, written in a yellow crayon.
(Wonka shows them the letter, it read: 'Wonka...I did it...signed Axel)
AUSTIN-
That doesn't prove a fucking thing, Wonka.
W-
What? It proves everything....that is his confession note.
DIAMOND DAVE-
In yellow crayon?
W-
Yes....ergo proving my theory that he is insane. Now, he forgot to destroy my Oompa Loompa generation in my basement. I'll just reprogram it to create ten foot tall evil Oompa Loopma. HA! HA! HA! He won't stand a chance.
(Steve Austin and Diamond Dave get up and leave)
W-
Come on, guys....you have to help me. Please? Please?
AUSTIN-
Wonka...please, let the police figure this out.
W-
Okay....huh....factoid three, he put a chainsaw blade through my dressing room door.
DIAMOND DAVE-
Axel doesn't have a chainsaw...Timan does.
W-
Come on....that's bullshit....what? (laughing) Is Timan supposed to be some sort of evil mastermind or something?
This is a roundrobin story. Would you like to contribute?
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