W-
Hello, everyone. You might be wondering why I'm tapping this episode in my house....you see it's pretty dangery for me to go back to the studio. I'm interviewing Veruca. Hi thanks for coming.
VERUCA-
Sure, I want this opporunity to set the record straight. Why are those little guys carring pistols and axes.
W-
That's my Oompa Loompa Posse....my bodyguards. So, if I get this right...you didn't die in season four. What's up? We all saw Oz maul you.
VERUCA-
Silly rabbit....only silver bullets can kill a werewolf. All Oz did was give me one helluva a hickey.
W-
Now...you're not the most popular character from the show, I mean you did break Oz and Willow up.
VERUCA-
Oh, come on. Willow is so dorky back then. Oz deserved a real woman, like me. Plus, both of us being werewolves, we went together.
W-
Well, Willow's grown up now, so I wouldn't want to piss her off.
VERUCA-
I'm not scared of her. Ooohhh...'I can make my eyes go all black.' That fucking slut....I mean I saw the episode where she totally cheated on Tara with Kennedy.
W-
I still think she'll kick your ass.
VERUCA-
I don't give a shit what you think, Wonkabar.
W-
Down girl. So, why didn't you go after Oz after he left town.
VERUCA-
Well, I'm interested in someone else now. (She gets a crazed look in her eyes) I want Timan.
W-
Really?
VERUCA-
Yes....I watch him every night through his window and prove my love. (She rolls up her sleeve to show Timan's name carved into her arm.) I will stop at nothing until he's mine.....I will kill everyone who gets in my way.
W-
Not worries here. Ah....I think this interviews over.
VERUCA-
Nothing...you hear me....nothing. (She lifts up her shirt and starts carving Timan into her stomach.)
W-
(She claps her hands, and three Oompa Loopmas come over.) Take this deranged bitch out of here....and call Timan and warn him.
The Oompa Loopmas escort Veruca out, who is still praising her love for Timan. Suddenly, a FCC agent comes into the house.
FCC-
Wonkabar...we're shutting this location down.
W-
Why?
FCC-
Showing children carrying guns.
W-
They're not children...they're Oompa Loompas.
FCC-
That's debated miss. Now, shut this camera off now.
W-
The interview is already over.
FCC-
Fine....just remember we're everywhere.
(He walks over and the scene ends)
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