Wonka interviews Giles.
W-
Hey, everyone. Wonka here for my first interview of the second season. Tonight, I sit down and talk with someone we should have interviewed last season. But, with his schedule...it's very hard to get him booked. So, guys....Rupert Giles. To so nice....
GILES-
Spare me, Candy bar.
W-
Uh...it's Wonkabar. Okay, so what have you been during since the Hellmouth was closed.
GILES-
Not a bloody thing. I've seen some of the fanfics out there....fucking Buffy this, Faith that, poor Spike, poor Dawn, and don't get me fucking started on the whole Willow, Tara, and Kennedy thing.
W-
You feel....what....abandoned? Look, you leave Sunnydale....
GILES-
OH....that's right, bitch, bring that up. I left because Buffy died.
W-
No, I'm talking about before Buffy died...you known when Willow went all fucking evil and shit.
GILES-
I left because....WHY AM I EXPLAINING MYSELF TO YOU....where's Axel, that the wanker I want to talk to.
W-
He's around here somewhere. Probably beating the shit out of one of us for something. But, speaking for speaking to wankers.....here, back for the dead made possibly with our friends from Wolfman and Hart....Wesley Wyndam-Pryce! (audience goes wild)
WESLEY-
Hi, Giles...
GILES-
Wesley, you prat, I'm in no mood....sorry Wes. All I want is my own story. Why does everyone, including Dawn, gets laid...and I don't.
WESLEY-
It can't be that bad....wait, neither do I. We demand sex for Watchers!!!
W-
Okay...you asked for it. (Wonka picks up a radio) Wake up The Gimp. (Suddenly, restraints grabs Giles and Wesley arms and legs and hold them to the chairs. The Gimp from Pulp Fiction comes out, and gags them both. They are then dragged off stage, still in the chairs, trying to get out.)
DIAMOND DAVE-
Okay, we have commerical.
W-
Cool, I'l be right back. (Wonka goes off stage and is suddenly grabbed and pinned against the wall. Two men with FCC badges are there.
AGENT-
I thought we warned you people.
W-
Sorry, Axel said I can't talk to strangers.
AGENT-
No more. Never use The Gimp again.
To Wonka that translated into only one thing: next try, interview The Gimp.
This is a roundrobin story. Would you like to contribute?
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biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
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