That night Spike stared out his bedroom window while Xander lay in the bed. He was thinking about what had happened earlier that day and how he was annoyed at himself for wanting to cry when what he had gone through was no comparison to what Connor had gone through.
“Come to bed, Spike.” Xander called from his spot on the bed and Spike went over.
“You cold?” Xander asked, probably because Spike was shaking a little. He said he said yes and Xander put his arm around him. That was the routine, Xander would ask if Spike was cold, even if he wasn’t shaking, Spike would say yes, and Xander would wrap his arm around him.
“Why did you drop out?” Spike asked. He always wondered about that, it bothered him that his own brother wouldn’t stay in school.
“’Cause I’m not smart like you.” Was Xander’s response.
“You’re smart.” Spike said. He was sure he was smart.
“No I’m not. The only thing I was passing was workshop, I’m fine working at the gas station and one of these days I’ll help Angel.” Xander said and even though it was dark Spike knew he was smiling. Xander loved carpentry and he looked up to Angel.
“Ok.” Spike said, thinking mostly about Angel more than the carpentry part. He knew Angel would gladly get rid of him if it weren’t for Xander.
“He loves you.” Xander said and it spooked Spike a little since it was almost like Xander had read his thoughts.
“Yeah right. If you weren’t around he’d probably throw me in a boys home.” Spike said a little heatedly.
“He’d never do that, Spike.” Xander said and Spike knew deep down inside that he was right. Angel just got to him though, he was always yelling at him to do his homework when he was playing or whatever and when he was studying he yelled at him to go outside and do something.
“Think he’ll ever ease up? You know become nicer?” Spike asked with the child like voice he would get sometimes.
“One day he will. If not this year maybe next, but he will. Something will snap in him to ease up.” Xander said reassuringly.
“I just hope he doesn’t snap in the bad way.” Spike said more to himself than to Xander really.
“It won’t now get some sleep.” Xander said and Spike could tell he was already half asleep so he closed his eyes and drifted off into dreamland.
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