“Buffy? Are you okay?” Willow asked her best friend, who was sitting across from her in the cafeteria.
“Of course. What would make you think that I’m not okay?”
“Well, you were about to put ketchup on your notebook.”
“Oh. Yeah. I knew that.”
“Buffy, what’s wrong?” Willow asked. She’d been worried about Buffy since they’d gotten their SAT scores back. “Is it more college stuff?”
“No. It’s Angel. I told him that we couldn’t be friends because I couldn’t have what I wanted from him.”
“And then what happened?”
“Then he asked if there was any way that we could still see each other, and I told him that there was, but he’d have to tell me that he doesn’t love me. He didn’t say anything, so I just left.”
“Wow.”
“That’s not all. Later that night he climbed into my room and asked me what it was I wanted from him, and I told him that I wanted a normal relationship. Right before he left, he looked into my eyes, and I could see so much hurt in them that it killed me. Will, am I being selfish? I didn’t even give him a chance to say what he wanted.”
Willow looked at her friend. She didn’t know how to answer her question truthfully without making her feel even worse. “Buffy, you know I’d only tell you the truth, right?” Buffy nodded. “Well, I can’t answer your question right now because you’ll hate me, and I really can’t spare another person not speaking to me. Oz is still avoiding me, and Xander, well…” her voice trailed off.
Buffy felt like a light switch had been flipped on. “I am being selfish. I’m being so selfish. Here you are in all of this pain, and here I am coming and dumping all of my problems on you on top of it all. I am so sorry.”
“No Buffy, that’s not what I meant-“
“I did the same thing with Angel. I gave him an ultimatum without ever considering his feelings. I have to go see him.”
“Buffy, you can’t!”
“Why not?”
“Well, he’s probably sleeping or something. Plus, what if Principal Snyder sees you leaving? And maybe you should give Angel a little more time.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Willow couldn’t help but feel bad. Maybe it would have been a good idea for her to see him right now, but she needed Buffy right then. She had no one else. she thought as she saw Xander approaching the table.
“Hi guys,” Xander said. He sounded really tired. “What’s up?”
“Hey Xander,” Buffy said. “We missed you fourth period.”
“Yeah. I was at the hospital. Cordy still won’t talk to me. She’s still really upset.”
Willow couldn’t take it any more. “I, uh- I have to do- something now. See you,” she said as she left the table.
“Man, I can’t believe I was talking about Cordelia around her!” Xander said, slapping himself on the forehead. “She still won’t speak to me.”
“Maybe she doesn’t think it would be the best thing for either of you to be seen talking to each other yet,” Buffy said.
“What do you mean?”
“Like maybe if Oz or Cordelia found out that you two were talking, they might get the wrong idea, and it would be like the final nails in your coffins.”
“Hmm. Interesting point,” Xander said. “It’s just that I need to talk to here. We’ve made such a mess of things.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Thanks for listening, Buff,” he said as he got up to leave.
“No problem.”
Buffy finished eating and went to look for Willow. As she was leaving the cafeteria, she nearly collided with Oz.
“Hi Buffy. Can I talk to you?” Oz asked.
“Sure.”
Oz led her to a bench in the courtyard. “Have you talked to Willow recently?” he asked.
“Yeah. She said that she really wished that you would talk to her.”
“I don’t know if I can. I kinda feel like she was using me as something to hold her over while she was waiting for Xander to notice her or something.”
“Willow isn’t like that. She’s not the kind of person who could use someone and live with herself afterwards.”
Oz sighed. “It’s just that I really cared about her. I still do,” he gave a little half-smile. “But I kinda want to punch Xander.”
“Talk to her. You’ll both end up feeling better.” She silently added, < I hope. >
“I think I will. Thanks Buffy.”
“No problem.” Oz left, and Buffy said to herself, “Geez, maybe I would’ve been a shrink if it weren’t for the whole ‘early death’ problem that comes with being the Slayer.”
* * *
As she was looking over her shoulder, Willow bumped right into Xander.
“Will, please don’t run away! We really need to talk,” he said.
“O-okay. Yeah. Talk,” Willow said. She needed to tell him, but she wasn’t sure if she could without making him feel worse than he already seemed.
Xander got straight to the point. He didn’t think that beating around the bush would do either of them any good. “Willow, that kiss, it made me realize that what was going on with us, it was just hormones.”
“I feel exactly the same way!” Willow said, trying not to sound too excited for Xander’s sake. “We’re just friends. Nothing more.”
“Will, I’m so glad you understand, I could kiss you!”
“I know. But – that would be a bad thing.”
Xander felt kind of stupid. “Yeah. Bad, BAD idea.”
“If only we knew it would be this easy to talk to Oz and Cordelia,” said Willow. “We really hurt them.”
“I know. Oz probably wants to rip me apart.”
“Yeah, and Cordelia probably wants to claw my eyes out!”
They began laughing, and as they realized that what they had said was probably the actual truth, they abruptly stopped.
* * *
Giles was in the library. He almost couldn’t believe what he was doing. He was helping the same thing that had killed Jenny. “No, Angel and Angelus are not the same. They are completely different. They just occupied the same body,” he told himself. Still, it felt strange. In his heart, he knew that Jenny would have wanted him to help Angel. It was what she had died trying to do. He sighed and returned to the book he was reading. It had a lot about the particular curse that was on Angel. It had all of the basics, one moment of happiness breaks the curse, blah blah blah, but it also had some very interesting, more in-depth information. Apparently, after a second cursing, for as long as the curse was in place, the vampire could have children who would be completely human and he regained a reflection. “This is quite fascinating.” He read on. The third curse would render holy objects useless against the vampire, but once again only for as long as the curse was in place. “Well, should it be broken again, at least we could know sooner using these indicators.” He looked for what would happen the fourth time, but there didn’t seem to be any record of a fourth cursing. He continued to read about variations of the curse, their side effects, their strengths, so on and so forth, until he came upon what he believed Angel was looking for: a way to seal the curse. There appeared to be two ways to go about doing this. The soul could be bound so it would be forever tormented by the body’s past deeds, or it could be “bound so it could be free.” Giles took this to mean that the soul would be bound forever, but it could move on past any guilt. “Not really much of a decision in this case,” Giles said to himself.
After thoroughly researching the second sealing method, the soul had to be bound by the true, undying love of another and it’s own love for the same. “That would be Buffy, I assume.” However, the book continued, both the vampire and the one whose love would bind the soul had to go up against unspeakable odds to prove that the love would last time and trial. “Oh-oh my!”
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