Joss Whedon own's all the Buffy characters. Any others are mine. (unless noted.)
By the way. In the movie of my mind, Uncle Charlie, is played by Rob Zombie.
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ACT 1.
Four young people(two guys, and two girl) stand in front of a Haunted House. The man in front of them, is dressed in an old fashion tux, and top hat. He has long shaggy hair, and a full beard. "Welcome dear friends" said the man, "Beyond those door, lies the path, to hell itself. Everything you've ever feared. Eveything you ever thought was under you bed. It's all real. And it's all waiting for you."
"This is bullshit," said one of the boys.
"What was that young man? So you think this is bullshit? Or maybe you just don't want to admite your scared? Maybe you don't want you lady friend to see you cry, like a little girl?
"I ain't scared of nothing. I'm captin of the football team."
"Captin Hu. Well then you need to lead by example. How do you expect to lead a team, if you can't even go in a little haunted house?"
"Come on Jim" said one of the girls, as she kissed him, "it'll be fun."
"Yeah dude" said the other boy, "don't be such a chicken."
"Go to hell, Dave. I'll show you a chicken." He steps forward, and they follow.
"Ah, pay to get in," said the mn, with his hand out. They pay him, and go inside. The sing on the door reads, Uncle Charlie's House of Pain.
"Pay to get out," said Uncle Charlie.
Inside the were greeted by a woman. "Greeting" she said, "My name is Mercy. I will be your guide. This way please." She leads them down the hall, to a portrait of Uncle Charlie. "And here is the late owner of this house, Uncle Charlie."
"Late" said one of the girls, "but we just talked to him, outside?"
"You must be mistaken. Uncle Charlie's been dead, for years."
"wwwoooww" said Jim, "I'm going to get you Amy."
"Knock it off Jim," said Amy, as she playfuly shoved him. Mercy lead them down into a room. they went inside, but she stayed in the doorway. "This is where it happend."
"Where what happed," said Amy?
"Didn't they tell you? Uncle Charlie was a very evil man. He would bring people, childern here. He did unspeakable things to them. But first he would bring them to this room. They would have to find there way out. Just as you do, now." She shut, and locks the door.
"HEY" says the other girl, "let us out!"
"Relax Jenny" said Dave, as he hug her, "it's just part of the show." The walked though the hallway, and bizare creature would jump out at them. "These things look real," said Amy.
"No they don't" Dave laughed, "they look like deformed Muppets. What this." He goes to one, and pretends to box with it. "Come on! What you got! Punk!" Suddenly it bites off his hand. He falls to the ground, and it jumps on him, and begins eating him.
The others take off. "DAVE" Jenny cried, "OH GOD, OH GOD! DAVE!"
"IT'S REAL" said Amy, "IT'S A REAL HAUNTED HOUSE!"
"Let just get out of here" said Jim, "The we can get the cops, and they can FRY THIS BASTARD!"
"We have to go back for Dave" said Jenny, in tears, "We have to get him."
"Honey, he's dead" said Amy.
"No, we have to get him, we have to." Suddenly a arrow shots into her neck, and she falls dead.
Jim, and Amy run down the hall, looking for a way out. But Amy runs into a large man, wereing a executioner's hood. He lifts a large medevil looking ax, and slices her in half.
"AAMMYYYY" cries Jim, he falls to his knees, and breaks down.
"See, I told you, youd cry like a little girl" said Uncle Charlie, as he walked into the room, "But at least you don't have to live with the shame." He waves his hand, and the ground opens, and Jim falls into a large pit, with flame in the bottom."
"AAAHHHHHAAA" Skyler screams, as the vision, of the hauted house ends, "I hate this job!"
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ACT 2.
Skyler is laying on the ground, in what looks like a school. "Skyler" said another girl, dressed in black, with neon pink hair, as she ran to her side, "Are you OK? I'll get the nurse."
"No, I don't need the nusre, Sara" said Skyler, "I'm OK, I just have to get used to this." Sara was Skylers best friend. She had told her, She had epilepsy. It seem to be more believable that the truth. Suddenly three girl walked up to them. "Ah" said one of the girls, "lesbo love, is so cute."
"We're not gay," said Sara.
"Ofcoarse not" said the girl, "you just like to sleep with girls. Oh wait, that is gay." The other girls started to laugh.
"Well, we can't sleep with any of the guys here" said Skyler, "I mean you've banged them all, so they've got to have ever disease there is."
"What the HELL is that supposed to me?"
"Oh, did I use to many big words. I'll talk slower. Keelllyy, yyoouu arrre aaaa sssllluuut."
"Screw you freak!"
"First you call us gay, and now You want to screw me? Is there something you want to tell us? Hey, if I had bang ever guy in the world, I may want to try something new, too"
"Kiss my ass(Then Kelly reallise what she just said) I mean, I don't want you to. (Skyler, and Sara start laughing) You know what, I've wasted enough time on you rejects, as it is." Kelly, and her friend walk away.
"Why do they call us freaks," said Sara? Skyler turned her around, so they could see the mirror on the wall. "Oh right. We are freaks."
"Well, it's better that being a big hoe, like her, and her robots."
"So, you want to hang out tonight" I just got the unratted version of Freddy, vs Jason. We could watch Jason kick Freddy's ass, again."
"First of all, Jason didn't kick Freddy's ass! Freddy was winning, and suddenly ereybody, and ther brother jump in. Second, I can't I wish I could, but I have something I have to do."
"Ok" said Sara sadly. Skyler was her only friend. So this meant she'd be alone tonight.
"well maybe tommorow?"
"Yeah, maybe."
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Faith sat on her couch, watching TV. Kennedy came in, and threw her bag down. "Bad day," said Faith?
"That place sucks! All day, people come in wanting food, and they expect ME to get it, for them!"
"Maybe it's because your a waitress. Welcome to the real world brat. No more free ride."
"Well, it's not like I've never worked. I'm a slayer, for crying out load."
"Well that doesn't pay. It did once, but we quit."
"So your saying we're dumb."
"Pretty much."
"Speaking of which. Did you find anything out about the ubervamp?"
"Well, I went to the library after work, and got on the computer. It took awile, and it wasn't easy, but I finnaly was able to turn it on. So no. This is alot harder that I though. I did everthing I could think of, nothing. Where the hell's Willow, when you need her?" Faith then sees the look on Kennedy's face, and realises what she just said. "Damn it, I'm sorry, Kenny."
"It's OK. Your right, she made it look easy. She made everything seem easy. Everything seems hard without her. (She starts to cry, but stops herself) You must think I'm a total wuss."
"I don't."
"I need to except, that she loves Tara. She got her fairytale ending. And I'm the troll."
"Ok, no more feeling sorry for yourself. You came here to start over, and that's what your going to do. A year from now, you'll be happy, and you'll banging some hot chick. Well, maybe bangin is the wrong word. How do you guys do it, anyway? Never mind I don't want to know. Point it, your not going to be some sad case. Your better than that, got it."
"Got it," said Kennedy. Just then there was a knock at the door. Faith opens the door, and Skyler's there. "Had a vision," said Skyler, as she walked in.
"Yeah, come in" said Faith, "So who's trying to kill us this week?"
"I saw this haunted house. But a real one. That looked like a fake one. You know?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"There's this guy, Uncle Charlie. He runs a haunted. It's supposed to be just a normal one. But it's real. And people go in, thing it's just fun. Then they don't come out."
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Oz is standing outside his store, kissing a blond haired woman. "I've made the reservations for seven," said the woman.
"Can't we just skip to dessert," said Oz, as he kissed her?
"Uh uh" said the girl, "You'll just have to wait, like a good boy, Mister Osbourne."
"Good's overated. (Then his phone rings) Hello? (Oz, this is Faith. Skyler had a vision. We need your help.) Actulaly tonight's not good. I have plans. (well I'm sorry, but we need your help. If we wait, people may die.) Alright I'll be there. (he hangs up). Liz."
"Oh no" said Liz, "Don't you even think about backing out."
"I'm sorry, it's work related. I can't get out of it. I'm sorry."
"OK. But you ow me."
"And I'll make goop, promise."
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ACT 3.
Faith and the others are driving in Oz's van, in the desert. "We've been driving for hours" said Faith, "where is this place?"
"It's somewhere in the desert" said Skyler, "that's all I know."
"well this was worth breaking my date," said Oz.
"I hate to say it, but dogboys got a point" said Kennedy, "we've been driving for hours, and nothing. If we were going to fiind this place, we'd have." Suddenly they see a building, with flashing colored lights, and the words Uncle Charlie's House of Pain, on the board."
"No way" said Faith, "we've past this spot like five times. This wasn't here."
"Funny thing about evil" said Oz, "doesn't really do what it's supossed to."
They parked, and Faith spoke, "OK say alert."
"I'm not going" said Skyler, "You guys have the powers. I just get visions."
"Sorry kid, but you might get a vision, we need, wile we're in there. But I promise, if anything happens to you, in there, I'll be very sad. I may even cry."
"You suck."
They walked to the front gate, where Charlie was waiting. "Well, what do we have here. So poor lost souls. Trying to find there way home. But instead you've found your way here. Children, beyond those doors, your worst nightmare become flesh. It's all true. The Boogyman is real. ANd you've found him."
"Screw this," said Faith, as she grabbed him, and slamed him down.
"HEY, HEY! ARE YOU CRAZY LADY?"
"We've heard bad thing about this place. Like people come here, and are never seen again."
"What are you cops? Look I don't know anything, about people missing. This is just a haunted house. It's just entertainment. There's nothing unsafe about this, I asure you. See for yourself."
"You better not be jacking me around." They walked though the gate.
"trust me. There's nothing I can do to hurt you. Until your inside." The he slams the door.
"We are really dumb," said Oz.
Kennedy tried to kick the door down, but was knock back by a force field, of some kind. "We'll we're not going out, that way."
Faith reached in her bag, she was carring, for weapons. "My weapons are gone," she said.
Kennedy, checked her bag, and her weapons were go to. "Great. It'd be to easy if we could defend areselfs. We are dumb."
"Ok" said Faith, "Just stay together, and try not to die."
"That's you plan" said Skyler, "That plan sucks!"
"Do you have a better one?"
"Yeah, you guys go in, and I stay in the car! That was a good plan!"
"She's right" said Kennedy, "she's just a kid. She doesn't need to be here."
"Hey, I didn't put her here. The assholes that be did! I though we could at least protect her, if she was with us. So if you have a problem with the way I lead, to bad. Cause I was picked."
"Pick by the same powers, that you just said didn't know what they where doing?"
"Uh girls," said Oz.
"You came to me, brat. So if you don't like it."
"Girls?"
"WHAT" they both say, at the same time? Then they see what he's looking at. Three seven foot long rats. With glowing red eyes. One jumps on Faith, and takes her down. Kennedy tries to get to her, but another rat bites her arm, and takes her down. Oz changes' and goes at the third rat. They are rolling on the ground, fighting.
As Skyler is watching this, hands come from the ground, and start pulling her under. "HEY, LET ME GO, ASSHOLE," She yells. But it doesn't stop. "KID," yells Faith. She trys to get to her, but the rat bites her leg, and pulls her down. Faith howls in pain, but punches it hard, until it turned loose. Then she grabed it's neck, and snaped it.
Oz rolls around with his rat. it bites at him, but he dodges, and bites it's neck, and rippes it's throat out.
Kennedy is holding the rats jaws, trying to keep it from biting her head off. She works her legs under t, and flips it over. Then grabs it's neck, and breaks it. "Are you OK," said Oz?
"yeah," said Kennedy. Then they looked at Faith, and saw her crying, beside where Skyler went under. They hadn't seen it, but had an idea what had happen.
"I'm sorry" said Faith, in tears, "I'm so sorry. I got her killed. I get evrybody killed."
"Faith" said Kennedy, "We have to go." She hated to push her now, but they had to keep moving, "You can't help her, by dying. Help her, by making sure nobody else dies here." Faith finnaly gets up, and they move on.
After an hour of fighting though many diffrent creature, The came across a bunch of coffins. Suddenly they opened, and vampires came out. They attack, and Faith jumped for the coffin. She breaks off a piece of wood, and uses it, as a stake. She wasn't going to let anyone else die.
One jumped at her, and she ducked, and stabed it, in the heart, it died, but didn't dust.
Kennedy, and Oz had broken off stakes, to. and killed the other vampires. They didn't dust ether.
"Why aren't they dust," said Kennedy?
"Because there not real" said Faith, "this whole place, is an illusion."
"Well, this feels pretty real," said Kennedy, holding up her arm.
"You've done well, to make it this far" said Mercy, as she walked into the room, "But you still have a long way to go."
"Where is he," Faith growled?
"He's down that hall. But you can't stop him. I know. I was his assistant, in 37. I though this was just a haunted house. But he was a monster. He would bring children here. And tortue them phisicaly, mentaly, sexualy. And finnaly kill them. I tried to go to the police, but he caught me. (she lifts her shirt, and the skin has been removed. Her organs were showing) It was a blessing, when he killed me. Or at least I though it was. Soon after thye caught him, and put him to death. But he came back. He said the devil wanted his work to contiue. So he gave him this place. Outside he has no power. But inside, he is the power."
"How do we kill him," said Faith?
"You don't. He kills you. That's how it works. He kills you, then you work here."
"But, there's no one else here," said Oz.
"Yes, there is," said Kennedy. Then they realised. All the creature, that they had seen. Had been people once.
"I'm truly sorry" said Mercy, "But he's waiting for you."
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ACT 4.
They made there way down the dark tunnel. Oz was leading the way, because it was to dark, for the girls to see(Oz has wolf eyes). Finnaly they came to a room, with a large pit, with fire in it. There is a woman hanging from a rope over the pit, screaming. As they get closer, they see, it's Skyler. "She's alive" said Faith, "Kid, you OK!"
"Do I look OK? Get me down, DAMN IT!"
"I'm afraid no one's going anywhere," said Charlie, as he walked into the room. Oz move toward him, growling. "I see you have a pet" said Charlie, "I have a pet, myself. His name is Snoppy. Come say hi, Snoppy." Out of the dark comes a 30 ft tall, three headed dragon. Faith and the others couldn't believe what they saw.
"Wait" said Charlie, "This really isn't fair. You should have a weapon." In Faith's hand, appears a fork. Faith looks at the fork, then at the dragon. Again at the fork, and at the dragon. "I hate you, Charlie." The dragon spits fire, and they scater. Faith jumps behind the dragon, runs
"What the hell, are we going to do," said Kennedy?
"Well" said Oz, "I've got a really crazy idea."
up it's back, and stabs it, in the neck. The fork just breaks. "I hate you Charlie!"
Faith jump from it's head, to Skyler. The dragon is about to go for her, but Kennedy trows a rock at it. It comes for them. Kennedy runs away, but Oz just stands there. The Dragon begins to shoot fire, But Kennedy jumps from a large rock, and kicks it's head, knocking it over, making it burn the other heads. The other head attack the one, and they ripped each other to pieces. "Damn, it worked," said Kennedy.
"I always wondered if a three headed creature, had three brains," said Oz.
Faith had gotten Skyler down, and Charlie was walking toward them. Faith tried to punch him, but he grabed her hand. Pian shot through her body. Like her soul was burning. As she was falling, Kennedy, and Oz ran to them. But he waved his hand, and they felt the burning, and fell.
"Sorry kids" said Charlie, "but nobody beats the dealer."
"Stop" said Mercy, as she walked in, "I won't let you do this, anymore. This ends tonight!"
"Mercy dear, this isn't a good time to grow a backbone."
"I don't care! I can't watch you hurt people, anymore."
"Alright." Mercy fells her eyes burning, and then they burst.
"AAAHHHHAA" she screamed, as she grabed her eyes, "YOU BASTARD! I CAN'T SEE!"
"You really are an ingrate, you know that. You said, you couldn't watch me work, anymore. So now you don't have to. And now your you three. You(looking at Oz) I think I'll have you be a wolf, all the time. Since Snoppy's dead, I need a new pet. You two(pointing, at Kennedy, and Skyler) I think you'll be zombie stripers. As for you(looking at Faith) I have something special for you. The Amazing Heffer girl. Half human, half cow. I mean who has that?" In a rage Faith jumps up, and knocks Charlie, into the pit. They hear him scream, and the house disappears. So does Mercy.
"How'd you know that would kill him," said Oz?
"I didn't" said Faith, "I just wanted to do as much damage, as I could, before he turned me, into a cow."
"Poor Mercy" said Kennedy, "At least she's free, now. There all free."
"That place was cool though" said Skyler, as they all stard at her, "I mean the death, and evil sucked. But everthing else was cool. Come on, haunted houses are cool."
"You need therapy, Wednesday" said Faith, "stay over there." Kennedy smile at Faith, acting like she didn't like Skyler. Remembering how broken up, she was, when she thought she was dead.
"Well' Uncel Charlie's closed for business."
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THREE WEEKS LATER. INDIANA.
We see a manwith his back turned, talking to someone. "Tonight's the big night. It's important that this goes of, eithout a hitch.(He turns around. It's Charlie). After that last problem, that made us have to close, for awile. I don't want ahy more trouble. But you won't cause anymore trouble, will you Mercy?"
"No, Uncle Chalie" said Mercy, her eyes were gone, and all she had was empty holes, "I know my place now."
"Then get ready." She puts on a pair of Dark Glasses, and walks away, with a white cain. Charlie puts on his top hat. "The show must go on."
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