Chapter 15: Piling it On
And now, the angsty-ness returns. Hehe. Sorry.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Much angst. Also, I didn't proofread any of this after writing it, so if there are any glaring discrepancies, be sure to leave a comment. Thanks.
~
Willow and Xander watched the small blonde figure escape from the gym, her head down as she avoided their gazes.
Xander’s mind was racing. He didn’t know too much about Buffy, but her beating Adam in a fight…that was something. Xander found himself half-wanting to cheer on Buffy, and also found himself envying her somewhat. Xander was never able to hold his own in a fight; in fact, he usually surrendered before a fight could be started. He hated being helpless, like he’d always been, whether it was not being able to stop jerks from picking on Willow, or even being able to stand up to his own parents. Ever. Xander found himself thinking of what happened this morning, with his father. He’d seen him, and panicked. Had hardly been able to finish a sentence before he ran away again. It was pathetic. It was also pathetic that he always beat himself up over these things, when they happened so often, Xander often wondered why he even bothered to care.
Willow was troubled. She was wondering if maybe she should go after Buffy, and see if she was okay. Willow hesitated though, deciding that Buffy might not actually want to see anyone right now, her defensive posture and avoiding them completely being very obvious clues. Willow was still feeling stunned, wondering if she’d really seen Buffy knock Adam down, and everything else. That had been… a surprise. A shock, really. She found herself getting more and more curious about Buffy, and the fact that there were so many things Buffy hadn’t told them about herself. Willow realized that Buffy hadn’t even told them where she came from, or really anything about herself—they’d mostly just talked about Sunnydale. Willow had the faint suspicion that Buffy had purposely been directing their conversations away from herself, without them even realizing it. Tricky. Willow grinned wryly.
Willow and Xander turned their attention to the gym teacher, who was telling them to all switch positions as attacker/defender/observers. With a frown, Willow noticed that Mr. Rendall was glaring at the door Buffy had left through with some distaste. Mr. Rendall was known to be paranoid, at least when it came to the attacks in Sunnydale. Willow hoped that he hadn’t immediately labeled Buffy as some kind of delinquent. Then, she thought back to everyone else’s reactions, and realized that a good half of the gym class already thought that. Willow felt some sympathy towards the new girl. It would be hard getting any of the students to change their first impressions.
Xander looked over and noticed with no small amount of relief that Adam had re-joined his group of friends, and it seemed as if he had no intention of moving. Mr. Rendall was busy staring at the door of the gym. Or glaring, more like. Hmm. Weird.
Xander and Willow turned towards each other, shaken out of their thoughts at the exact same time.
“So, it’s just the two of us again. Wanna defend or attack?”
Willow grinned back. “Defend, as always, silly.”
Xander jabbed a very weakly aimed punch at Willow, who stepped away from it easily. Continuing like they always did, Xander and Willow took their remaining gym time to have their first decent conversation alone today.
Willow voiced aloud her thoughts first.
“What do you think Mr. Rendall’s going to do? About Buffy, I mean. We all saw what happened, but look, he’s completely ignoring Adam, as if Buffy’s the one in the wrong.”
One glance confirmed that Rendall was indeed still ignoring Adam. Xander sighed, replying, “I dunno Will, I mean, did ya see how everyone’s reacted, to Buffy? Even I’m wondering…”
Willow noticed Xander’s troubled expression, and abruptly remembered her concern this morning. “Xander, did, you know, something happen this morning? I was worried—you didn’t come in, and, well, when that happens…do you wanna talk about it?”
Xander was grateful for her concern, but more hesitant than usual in responding. Willow didn’t push him, just being there, showing her understanding. Finally, Xander decided that telling Willow always made him feel better, and it also meant that she wouldn’t worry as much, not knowing.
“He was…worse than usual. He didn’t get back till really early this morning, I think…” Xander began.
Willow nodded, knowing instinctively that Xander was talking about his dad.
“It was, well I was…worried.” Xander faltered a little, and Willow squeezed his hand reassuringly, the two having given up all pretense of practicing self-defense.
Xander rushed on, now wanting to just get this all out of his system. “So when I saw him, he, well, basically he did the usual ungrateful-son routine. But he—he mentioned you, and well, obviously with the not-so-nice, I got angry at him. I lost control for a moment there, but, as all morning dramas go,” Xander smiled sadly, “It ended with me running away, or limping more like, and being late, and therefore getting yelled at by Prinsley, threatened with expulsion, making a depressingly pathetic first impression on Buffy, and completing it with a round of Xander-shaped target practice with the CCC companion crew.”
Willow stood there for a second, trying to process everything Xander had just thrown at her. One thing was especially alarming. “They’re threatening to expel you? They can’t—did Prinsley really say he wanted you expelled?” Just thinking about school without Xander there was making Willow feel like the bottom was slowly dropping out of her world. She also felt herself resenting the unfeeling high school staff, who, like all the adults in his life, could not appreciate just how wonderful a person Xander was; a person who really had a heart, unlike any of them.
Xander, seeing how pale Willow looked at that statement, hastened to reassure her. “He won’t, really, Will. Prinsley dropped it after I agreed to never be late or miss a homework assignment or fall asleep in class ever again.” Then, Xander paused for a moment, and couldn’t help but burst out laughing, a needed release from the building tension.
“Oh my god, I seriously promised that…no wonder Prinsley couldn’t even say anything—he just completely clammed up after I agreed.”
Turning to a slightly shell-shocked Willow, Xander grinned at her. “Looks like I’m going to be needing my best study-buddy tonight Will…I have no clue how to do all that math homework he assigned us.”
Willow smiled weakly. “You wanna come over my house after school? I think my parents are out again…” This time, it was Willow who faltered.
Xander felt a flash of anger towards Willow’s practically non-existant parents, who were always so involved in their work that they hardly noticed their daughter. “We’ll have a good time Will, we can get out the movies, and I figured out how to make popcorn!”
Willow laughed, glad to turn her attention away from family issues. “Okay then, so movies, popcorn, and what were you planning to do about that homework, mister?” she teased back.
~
Buffy looked at her reflection, glad that though she’d gotten a little scraped up, she wasn’t really bleeding at all. She’d been thinking over her situation for a little while, and decided that running out of the gym had been a stupid, impulsive decision; the easy, coward’s way out. She’d dealt with having a really crappy reputation before…all it meant was an unsupportive network of suspicious principals, glaring teachers, wary or smirking classmates, disappointed parents…
Buffy stopped her thought process right there, picturing her mother’s withdrawn and frustrated face those few times, when she had really cared about Buffy, after hearing those extremely unfair but very upsetting teacher comments. Buffy knew that of her two parents, she had never really thought about a life stuck just with her dad. For the first time since that night, Buffy felt herself losing the tight rein she’d held her emotions in check with, felt herself really missing her mom, despite the rocky couple of months they’d had.
The bathroom door opened, startling Buffy out of a quickly declining train of thought.
Not wanting whoever it was to see her tear up, Buffy quickly slipped out of the door, telling herself sharply to stop thinking about her mom as she wandered the halls, looking for the gym, a new sort of dread forming as she thought of the gym teacher’s reaction. Now, with worries piling up, Buffy found that she couldn’t pull back the cheerful mood she’d been in before, and found her thoughts wandering back to less pleasant subjects—like how the house had been too quiet this morning, without even the sound of her dad’s usual loud snoring. Come to think of it, she thought uneasily that her dad might not have been home at all…
~
Xander and Willow had just started their self-defense again when Rendall blew his whistle. Xander looked at the gym clock. “Wow, he stopped us like ten minutes early today!” He quickly joined the crowd of guys heading towards the locker rooms.
Willow, feeling her previous happy mood tinge a bit with anxiousness, saw that Buffy hadn’t returned yet. Making a quick decision, Willow made her way to the locker rooms, changed quickly, and returned to the gym to find that Buffy had just entered and had immediately been set upon by an angry Mr. Rendall. After a few seconds, Willow gave up trying to interpret Rendall’s hissing tone and lingered by the door, feeling a new surge of pity upon seeing Buffy’s weary and barely-disguised upset expression. From what she could see, there were a lot of things troubling Buffy at the moment.
~
Buffy entered the gym, barely spotting Willow before Mr. Rendall’s red face loomed into view. Buffy involuntarily took a step back. Wow, this guy’s acting like I killed someone or something.
Mr. Rendall began. “Ms. Summers, first of all, I do NOT appreciate your interrupting and running out like that. It is disrespectful and it also makes me think that you’re feeling guilty about something. Now, I’ll have you know that Sunnydale is a good town, and we do not need any more hooligans running around, our police can’t afford the extra time capturing every irresponsible teen getting in gang fights or high on whatever new drugs are out there. It’s obvious to me, whether other people believe in second chances or whatever other junk, that you are exactly the kind of trouble this school does not need. What I’m wondering now is why you were kicked out of your old school, and if it’s interesting enough to carry over to your Sunnydale records. You see, we don’t need people like you here, and I’ll be watching you…in fact, your very first fight I will be reporting to the principal. Your time here…”
Buffy winced a little, trying to avoid the spit flying from Rendall’s mouth. She was wondering if Adam had gotten this little talking-to as well. Buffy found herself getting angry at the unfair accusations, and combined with the misery she’d been falling into earlier, she was becoming increasingly agitated. One comment got through her wall of emotions though, and Buffy interrupted, “Huh? I wasn’t kicked out from my old school. I moved here, with my dad, because…”
Rendall looked surprised that she’d dared interrupt his rant. Then, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as Buffy stopped talking.
Thinking he’d been right and she hadn’t been able to think up a cover story quickly enough, Rendall prompted, “What? Don’t even think about lying. Why did you move? Were you found in a gang, did you burn down a gym, what did you do?
Buffy was silently cursing herself for bringing the conversation around to focus on one of her very worst moments. Trying to give a plausible explanation without reliving painfully personal details, Buffy replied, “My dad wanted to move. Someone he knows lives here, so we came here.”
Rendall didn’t look satisfied, and as the bell rang, and Buffy made to leave to the locker rooms, he said sharply, “Wait. I’m not a complete idiot, Ms. Summers. You deliberately left out any mention of your school activities.” He blocked her way, raising an eyebrow to indicate that he wanted an explanation.
Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “It wasn’t me, or anything I did at school. So yeah, I didn’t have perfect grades or attendance, but I wasn’t in a gang, and I didn’t do anything to stupid, and I did NOT get kicked out!”
Rendall seemed unmoved as Buffy finally felt herself losing her temper. Instead he said in an infuriatingly calm voice, “People don’t just move because they feel like it. You still have not given me a reason, and until you give me some solid fact that shows you aren’t lying to me and covering some kind of criminal record, I refuse to let you leave for lunch. Now, explain.”
Buffy, furious now, lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Okay then. I don’t see why you care so much, but since you seem to think it’s your business, after my dad drove my mom out of the house, my dad was happy enough to buy a house here because the only person he really cares about moved here a few weeks ago. We moved here because my dad hated our old house, hated his job, hated everyone else there, and apparently couldn’t stand going to the bars when his girlfriend wasn’t there too. Unluckily for all of us, I’m stuck with my dad, so I’m here too,” she finished bitterly, not really caring what Rendall thought of her anymore.
Buffy, not really trusting in her own self control if Rendall tried to probe her more, walked quickly around him, avoided Willow who was still waiting by the door, and went to change.
~
Mr. Rendall didn’t react for a few seconds, then looked around quickly to see if anyone had watched that disastrous little encounter. Seeing that freshman redhead, Rendall gave her a sharp glare and barked, “What’re you looking at? Get to lunch!”
Willow, afraid of facing the very perturbed gym teacher, cast a last worried glance towards where Buffy had left, then went to meet up with Xander in the cafeteria.
Willow had brought lunch that she prepared for herself each morning, and Xander was already sitting at their usual table. Willow sat down, and Xander immediately asked, “What happened? Where were you? and what happened to Buffy?”
Just as those words left his mouth, Harmony Kendall passed the table and sneered at them. “Well, congrats on adding the latest freakish loser to your little dweeb gang. Hey, do you guys have, like, gaydar, except with freak-dar or something?” Harmony laughed at her own unfunny joke. Then, she leaned in conspiratorially and loudly whispered, “There’s some theories going around now about that new girl. Most people think she’s some gang outcast with major issues, but my personal favorite was Adam’s idea. We think maybe she’s just a depressed-loony-turned-street-fighter whose own mother threw her out. I mean, who could seriously name their daughter ‘Buffy’, and not hate the girl?”
Xander didn’t know whether to burst out laughing at Harmony’s belief in Buffy being a loony-turned-fighter, or yell at the ditz for insulting Buffy. Willow had a strange look on her face, and wasn’t looking at Harmony.
Harmony sniggered at their lack of reaction, thinking she’d brilliantly left them speechless, and turned to leave, only to find her way blocked by a very, very pissed-off blonde.
~
Buffy had changed and headed to the cafeteria quickly. Walking out, she saw that Willow had gone, and Rendall was also nowhere in sight. Feeling a little guilty at avoiding Willow when she’d actually waited for her, Buffy thought idly that she wouldn’t make it through the day if she tried to add any more wretched emotions to the dangerously teetering pile.
That was before spotting Harmony talking to Willow and Xander, and walking in to just catch the end of Harmony’s little speech.
“…whose own mother threw her out. I mean, who could seriously name their daughter ‘Buffy’, and not hate the girl?”
~
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