Mayor Quimbey throws a file on Chief Wiggum's desk. He is not a happy man.
MAYOR-
"Wiggum, what do you plan to do about these vampires stalking our city?"
CHIEF-
"Using the latest technology in vampire hunting, and a call to my academy classmate Officer Barbrady in South Park, Colorado....I plan to nail tomacco plants to the doors of everyone in town."
MAYOR-
"You stupid idiot! That's garlic...why don't I fire your ass."
CHIEF-
"Because I have these..." Wiggum pulls a folder from his desk and opens it. The pictures inside show Quimbey dressed as a french maid being whipped with a 'cat of nine tails' by a woman dressed as a Nazi in a cheesy motel room.
MAYOR-
"Yes...well...just get rid of these vampires or hire someone who will."
The next morning, an ad is seen in the local newspaper that reads: "WANTED: VAMPIRE HUNTER, $500 A DAY PLUS GAS AND MEALS." Homer throws down the paper.
HOMER-
"WOO HOO! Free meals!"
MARGE-
"Now, Homie, I know you're not going to answer that ad. You don't know nothing about vampires."
HOMER-
"C'mon, a little mineral water, a stake in the butt, what could be hard about that."
BART-
"Uh...dad. That's holy water and a stake in the heart." Homer rubs Bart's head.
HOMER-
"Ah...a child's imaganation. Marge, I doing to the store and buying cases of mineral water."
LISA-
"I can't people believe in vampires. They're mythical, you know like poor Republicans."
BART-
"I think you should look after Homer."
LISA-
"I guess."
BART-
"Mom, we're going out to fight the forces of hell!"
MARGE-
"Have fun, sweety."
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
