Hello, Viewers. Once again, Wonkabar's here. This time, I bring you a tale of heartbreak and betrayal. I have here today, Dawn Summers.
W-
"Welcome, Dawn."
DAWN-
"Thanks for thanking me."
W-
"Dawn, you have had a very embassing moment in your life shared with almost everyone on the planet."
DAWN-
"Yes, Wonka, I have...."
W-
"Well, for our audience who doesn't know what the fuck we are talking about; here it is.
Wonkbar turns on a videotape that shows Andrew having sex with Dawn in a 'nightvision' video tape (a la Paris Hilton).
ANDREW (ON TAPE):
"Oh...yeah...oh...yeah..."
DAWN (ON TAPE):
"Uh...Andrew...you have to be 'in' to do anything. Or wait...oh God you are in."
ANDREW (ON TAPE):
"OH GOD! OH GOD!"
DAWN (ON TAPE):
"OH WHATEVER!"
Wonkabar turns off the tape.
W-
"So, Dawn what can you tall us about this 'little' situation?"
DAWN-
"Well...everybody was hooking up that night, it was the night before we shut down the Sunnydale Hellmouth. I was lonely, and Andrew was around. Christ, I didn't want to die as a virgin, so we.....you know?"
W-
"Fucked?"
Dawn-
"Yeah...if that is what he did was callled. Shit, nobody knew what we did until that little shit put it on the internet."
W-
"Well, to answer for it is his weasel-ness, is Andrew."
The crowd boos and hisses as he walks up to the stage.
W-
"Andrew, you took Dawn's virginity...badly at that. And then broadcasting on the internet."
ANDREW-
"That only that, but you can buy it now on DVD."
Wonkabar 'bitch slaps' Andrew.
W-
"My final thought for tonight. Never have sex with a hobbitt, you will only sell yourself short. This is Wonkbar, on Axel's Arena....is the camera off....good, what Axel still is in his dressing room. You tried a chainsaw....okay, a blowtorch....fuck, what about dynamite."
OFF CAMERA
AXEL-
"Dynamite!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!"
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