The three friends moved through the dark playground, ready for action and wired for sound.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Xander whispered.
"Nope," Buffy replied.
"Just checking."
"I don't even like playgrounds in the daytime, with kids," Willow whispered, "let alone at night, with dead things. I mean, those wood chips hurt...!"
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Xander said.
"You've been saying that for the last hour," Buffy chided. "Get a new scriptwriter, 'kay?"
"You're way too paranoid," Willow agreed.
"Well, you know--" Xander cut himself off, then got an odd look on his face. Suddenly, he burst into song, at top volume, slightly off-beat, but pretty much on-key. "It's been a paranoid eeeeevening, Also a paranoid daaaaay. I've got a paranoid feeeeeelinnggg, Vampires are coming our waaaaaay!" He stopped just as suddenly, and silence reigned once more.
"Are you nuts??" Buffy hissed. "Cut that out! Do you want every vampire in the county to hear you??"
"I didn't know you could sing," Willow said, a bit hurt.
"I don't-- I didn't mean-- it just happened!" Xander replied, rattled.
"Well, don't happen it again," Buffy snapped.
They continued on, trying to be quiet, but starting to bicker.
"Uh-oh." They all stopped in their tracks as half-a-dozen vampires moved to circle them.
"I *told* you so...." Xander muttered.
"Time to play," sighed Buffy, pulling out a stake.
"Believe it, sister," growled the lead vampire, a male with a red ponytail.
It looked like it was going to be a grudge match between Human College and Bloodsucker U, when the vampires got a collectively odd look on their faces.
"Your kind is always doing us wrong," Ponytail informed them, in a pleasant enough tenor.
"Wrong, wrong," chorused the other vampires.
"Well, we'll do our thing, and it won't take long," he continued. "You think we're all on the run, But we take orders from the Anointed One. And you oughta know he's--"
"The leader of the pack!" all six sang. "Vrooom, vrooom."
Silence. Then, looking hideously embarrassed, all six fled. Buffy and the Slayerettes stared. As one, they bolted back in the opposite direction.
"So they're looking for *what*?" Ms Calendar asked again.
"A revenant, haunting the playground," Giles said, a bit absently, leafing through a mouldy book.
"What about vampires?" she asked.
"What about them?"
" 'What about'-- Rupert, that's dangerous."
He looked down at her, a bit condescendingly. "Ms Calendar, Buffy is a very good Slayer. She is also very good at staying alive. In fact--" he broke off in mid-sentence, an odd look coming over his face. "In fact, we all need to be good at-- at--"
"At what?"
Giles struck a striking pose, one hand in the air. "Whether you're a Slayer, or whether you're a player, Stayin' alive, stayin' alive! Ah, ah, ah, ah-- Um. That is. Ah. Uh." He stopped trying to talk.
"...the hell???" Calendar said, torn between having an aneurysm and having hysterics.
Just then, the teenagers burst into the library.
"Houston, we have a problem!" Buffy gasped, "and it's in the key of weird!"
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