Buffy’s birthday: n. A time of gut-wrenching misery and horror, usually involving the betrayal of a person or persons dear to her. Sources: Buffy Summers.
Poor Buff. Last year it was Angel going evil, this year it was Giles.
Not literally. Giles is still soulful and happy.
Actually, not happy so much. I’ll get to that.
Buffy’s birthday was approaching. The big One-Eight. I wanted to throw her a party, but she decided against it because of her birthday track record. Instead she said she was going to the ice show with her dad.
Of course, he didn’t show up. Asshole. I feel like hunting him down in L. A. or wherever he really is and showing him that he can’t blow Buffy off without some consequences.
So all this time Buffy’s trying to convince Giles, whom she’s come to love as a father, to go with her when he’s actually stabbing her in the back, too… injecting her with all kinds of fun chemicals that make her not a Slayer anymore. So Buffy has…
-No powers
-No dad
-No party
What a way to spend a birthday.
BUT WAIT! IT GETS BETTER!
Buffy’s mom is kidnapped by a big insane vampire and Buffy goes to save her, but she still has no powers. Eventually she succeeds in dusting him by getting him to drink holy water.
Turns out the whole thing is part of a scam put together by some guy named Quentin Travers, head of the Watcher’s council. It was a test. For Buffy.
And Giles. Giles eventually gave in when the vampire escaped and told Buffy all about it, which means he didn’t pass the test.
Giles is no longer a Watcher.
We’re expecting a new one from England any day now.
Pooooor Buff.
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