Since you asked so nicely for a quick update I sat down and made sure I did it. Enjoy. I hope you like it.
************
Xander sits down at a table, Vinny enters the room. He has black hair and a tough New Yorker attitude. He’s wearing a leather jacket and looks nothing like a lawyer.
“Xander,” he says with a strong New York accent, giving him a hug and a pat on the back before they both sit down.
“How’ve you been?”
“Okay, I’m engaged did you hear?”
“No, to Mona?”
“Yeah. So, listen you have to be up front with me did you do it?”
“What?! No, I didn’t do it! Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
“Just checking,” Vinny said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.
“So Vinny, you’ve been out of law school for 6 years what have you been doing?”
“Studying….for the bar.”
“For 6 years.”
“I didn’t pass the first time.”
“But you passed the second right?” Vinny shakes his head, “The third?” Shakes his head again, “the fourth?”
“Nope.”
“Fifth?”
“No, guess 6 times the charm.”
“Vinny are you kidding me. I’m on trial for murder and it took you 6 times to pass the bar! Please tell me you’ve handled cases like this before.”
“Not exactly.”
“What kind of cases did you handle?”
“Injury.”
“But they went to court right?”
“No, I’ve never been to court.”
Xander bangs his head on the table in response.
**********************
Vinny and Xander sit in the court room. It’s the first day of the trial.
The D.A. stands up and begins to read his opening statement, “Your honor the prosecution will prove that the defendant, Mr. Alexander Harris did in fact murder the clerk at the local gas station. The prosecution will prove this through various eye witness accounts of people who saw the defendant at the scene of the crime during the time of the murder. Thank you your honor.”
“Counsel?” the judge said.
“Everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you,” Vinny said, causing Xander to hide his face in his hand.
“Objection. Counsel's entire opening statement is argument,” the D.A. said.
“Sustained. Counselor's entire opening statement, with the exception of "thank you", will be stricken from the record,” the judge said, “Counselor, your client is charged with first degree murder. How does he plead?”
“My client...”
“What are you wearing?”
“Huh?”
“What are you wearing?”
Vinny looks down. He is wearing the same leather jacket he was seen wearing before, “Um, I'm wearing clothes. I... I don't get the question.”
“When you come into my court looking like you do. You not only insult me, but you insult the integrity of this court.”
“I apologize, sir, but, uh... this is how I dress.”
“The next time you appear in my court, you will look lawyerly. And I mean you comb your hair, and wear a suit and tie. And that suit had better be made out of some sort of... cloth. You understand me?”
“Uh yes. Fine, Judge, fine.”
“Continue.”
“My client was caught completely by surprise. He thought he was being arrested for shoplifting a pack of Twinkies.”
“What are you telling me? That he pleads not guilty?”
“No. I'm just trying to explain.”
“I don't want to hear explanations. Here we have procedure. And that procedure is to have an arraignment. Are we clear on this?”
“Yes, but there seems to be a great deal of confusion here. You see, my client...”
“Uh, Mr. Harris? Please approach the bench,” the judge asked, when Vinny gets there, “All I ask from you is a very simple answer to a very simple question. There are only two ways to answer it: guilty or not guilty.”
“But your honor, my client didn't do anything.”
“Once again, the communication process broken down. It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn't do it. Now, the next words out of your mouth better be "guilty" or "not guilty." I don't want to hear commentary, argument, or opinion. If I hear anything other than "guilty" or "not guilty", you'll be in contempt. I don't even want to hear you clear your throat. Now, how does your client plead?”
“I think I get the point.”
“No, I don't think you do.”
“Really I….”
“One more word and I’ll hold you in contempt of court.”
“Not guilty.”
“Thank you.”
**********************
Xander and Vinny are sitting in the same room, where they were reunited.
“Listen, Vinny based on your performance yesterday at the preliminary hearing and the fact that you’ve barley passed the bar, not to mention you’ve never actually brought a case to court I’m thinking of going with the lawyer the state offered to provide for me,” Xander said.
“Are you shiting me? I came all the way up here from fucking New York to save your sorry ass and now you’re telling me you want another fucking lawyer.”
“Well, yeah.”
"Some here," Xander leans in close and Vinny smacks him upside the head, "What the fuck is wrong with you!"
"Ow," Xander said, rubbing his head.
“Look, maybe I could have handled the preliminary a little better, okay? I admit it. But what's most important is winning the case. I could do it. I really could. Let me tell you how, okay? The D.A.'s got to build a case. Building a case is like building a house. Each piece of evidence is just another building block. He wants to make a brick bunker of a building. He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks, like, like these, right?” he outs his hand on the brick wall.
“Yeah.”
“He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show them to you in a very special way, so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not gonna show you. When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Harris, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.”
“Fine.”
“Hey, thanks you won’t be sorry,” Vinny said, getting up and beginning to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“I gotta go build a case.”
*******************
Review please.
Just so you know some of this chapter was taken from the orginal script. No copyright infringment is intended.
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