The next morning, Giles could not open his eyes. He was afraid that it would all have been a dream. A strange, soft noise surprised him; Giles realized that it was Buffy snoring. He smiled and reached for her.
She woke and stretched. The sunlight was sneaking through the curtains and danced on her legs. "Morning, Giles."
He said nothing. He couldn't, afraid that he one he started speaking he would not be able to stop. He settled for smiling broadly, not realizing that he looked like a fool.
"Aren't you breaking some sort of Watcher code?" she asked him, trying to look stern.
"Damn'the code. Damn it all." He layed his head on her shoulder. "How many times do you suppose this has happened throughout time? The Watcher and the Slayer."
"Seems we'd make a perfect match."
"Or a match made in hell. I know first hand the danger you face every night."
"Don't you trust your own training?" she teased him, tracing a finger over his shoulder.
"You were trained when you came to me."
"No, I could do a few fancy kicks. But I couldn't really," she searched for the words. "I couldn't really see the big picture. What I could do. What I could draw on."
Giles kissed her neck. "I loved you even then."
Buffy pushed him off of her and rolled out of bed. "Giles, I'm starving. Where do want to go for breakfast?"
"Will you ever call me Rupert?"
"Never."
***
"Honey, I'm home." Buffy called in her best "Ricky Ricardo" accent. She threw her bag into a chair and looked around the darkened apartment. "Giles?"
She headed towards their bedroom. Growing nervous, she pushed the door open slowly. The lights were out.
"You're home early."
Buffy spun around. Giles stood in the doorway, hair wet.
"I was calling you."
"I just stepped out of the shower. I didn't hear you."
Buffy threw herself at him, playfully pounding on his chest. "You're lucky I left my stake in the livingroom."
Laughing, Giles took hold of her wrists. "Pound lightly, please. I'm an old man."
"Yes, you are. It's a wonder you've lived this long."
He kissed her neck, walking her backwards further into the room. "I'm practically at death's door."
Laughing, they fell onto the bed. Buffy caught a water bead that slid towards his chest. "We'd better seize the moments we have left, then." He nodded his assent as he kissed the hollow of her neck.
* * *
Buffy had her reservations about a wedding. She wanted to run off to Las Vegas or somewhere equally silly for an elopement.
"Really, Giles," she had pleaded. "I don't want a working honeymoon, if you know what I mean."
He had given in, to please her. But Buffy could see how disappointed he was, and decided to compromise.
The ceremony was brief, and simple. Xander had come with his new girlfriend, whispering to Buffy before the ceremony that he knew it all along. Willow and her husband came, red-headed twin boys in tow. Willow became teary-eyed on the way to the restaurant for the reception.
"I can't believe I miss this place," she wailed, dabbing at her eyes. The restuarant was crowded, and the diners applauded when Buffy entered in her wedding gown. She blushed, and mugged with Giles on the way to the table.
They were a noisy party, although there were few of them. They drank too much and talked too loud and laughed over old times. They stayed until the restaurant began to close.
In front of their restaurant, they parted ways. Everyone kissed and promised to write as Buffy and Giles climbed into their cars.
* * *
Something was wrong. No one had said so much, but Giles knew. One look at Buffy told him that she knew as well. He instructed her to breathe, to stay calm, and everything else they had learned in Lamaze, but something was wrong.
"Push," he told her, as she gripped his hand tightly. "Push, Buffy. One... two... three..." He counted through the contraction. She fell back, exhausted. She took large gulping breaths. And then she pushed again. Giles smoothed back her hair, noticing how clammy her forehead was.
"You can do it," he encouraged her.
"Piece," her breathing was labored. "Of cake."
"We have a head," the doctor called.
Buffy grinned through her pain. "Is she pretty?"
"She's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," he assured her.
"One more hard push, Buffy."
A moment later, Sarah was free, and the doctor held her up for the parents to see.
"She's gorgeous," Buffy breathed as they layed her gently in her mother's arms.
"She has a great destiny," Giles kissed her forehead.
They smiled at each other as the nurse took the baby to wash her off.
"She will defeat the darkness," Buffy had comforted herself every day by reading over the prophecy until she had it memorized. "She will defeat the darkness."
Giles kissed her hand. "I'm proud of you."
"Nurse," Dr. Hixler called suddenly. The labor nurse joined him.
"What's wrong?" Giles asked, reading the concern on'their faces. "What's wrong?"
"She's hemorrhaging," the doctor told him.
Buffy let out a long breath. Giles realized she was losing conciousness.
"Buffy," he yelled, panicked. "Buffy!" He gripped her hand.
A nurse handed Giles the baby and led him out of the room. He looked back at his wife, pale on'the bed. The front the doctor's gown was covered in blood, and it was pooling on'the floor.
"The doctor will take care of your wife," the nurse attempted to comfort him. "Why don't you walk the baby down to the nursery and get her a bottle?"
"No," Giles protested. "No, Buffy..." His voice trailed off. He knew what was happening.
"The doctor will take good care of her," she repeated. A wail came from the bundle in his arms. He glanced down at the baby in his arms, a future Slayer. She cried again, fists in balls.
"Are you hungry, Sarah?" he asked her, trying not to think of his unconcious wife down the hall, the woman he would love until the day he died. He started down the hall, towards the nursery they had passed on'their way down the hall that morning... They had been excited, Buffy was still in'the early stages of her contractions.
The nurse in the nursery cooed at the baby. "We have a lot of daddies carry their little ones down themselves," she told him as she smiled at Sarah. "They just can't let their babies out of their arms, can they? No, they can't." Giles noted the voice she used, the high pitched tone. He wished he had read more of those childcare books that Buffy had poured over everynight. "Will your wife be nursing?" She turned her attention back to Giles.
"No, no, she won't." Giles looked away.
The woman smiled knowingly. "You want to give her her first bottle?"
Giles nodded and the nurse headed to the back. She returned with a white box, which she set on a counter and opened. "These are really convienant," she said as she removed a tiny glass bottle. "All you have to do is add a nipple and you're set." She removed a nipple from a sterilizer and screwed it onto the bottle of formula and handed it to Giles. "We keep them warm in the back, but you ll have to warm them on the stove."
She pointed him towards a rocking chair in the corner and he settled down in it, baby in arms. She drank hungrily from the bottle, making large smacking noises. Her fists waved frantically at first, then gradually slowed. Her eyes closing reluctantly, she slipped into sleep.
Giles heart was bursting. The tiny, helpless creature in his arms snored softly. He stared at her little nose, her tiny fingers; he thought every inch of her was beautiful, even the red blotches on her forehead and her hairless patches on her head. With great regret, he handed her over to the nurse. He watched as she laid her in a hospital crib, and attached a card to the front. "Giles, Baby Girl" he read.
He walked down the hallway, sitting on a chair as close to Buffy's room as he could get, and he waited.
* * *
Dr. Hilxer looked him right in the eye. He didn't flinch, or try to lesson the blow. He looked Giles right in the face and spoke clearly.
"We lost her," he said simply. "I'm sorry."
Giles nodded, trying to maintain calm. It was what he did.
"We did what we could, but -- "
"Please," Giles voice broke. "Please, don't explain it to me. You lost her. That's all that matters."
The doctor moved down the hall, leaving the man in grief. Giles felt his eyes well up, and a terrible anger filled him. "No," he screamed suddenly. Patients stopped in the hallway, staff looked over at him with concern. "No. Buffy cannot die. I need her." He pounded on the wall. "I need her." Crumbling, he slid to the ground.
Arms were around his shoulders, a soothing voice in his ear, trying to calm him. He would not be consoled.
"Try to be strong," the woman encouraged. "Be strong for your daughter."
"I couldn't even be strong for Buffy," he yelled. "I did just what I swore not to do... I failed her." He pressed his palms against his eyes. Pain shot through his temples, and his whole body shook. Years of practice supressing his emotions faded away, and it all flew freely. Somewhere in his mind, he wondered if he would ever control himself again.
* * *
Through the glass, Giles waved at Sarah. She didn't notice him. She was too busy kicking her feet out from under the pink blanket and sucking on her pacifier.
"She's almost ready to go home," the nurse who had given him the bottles the day before came up behind him. "She just needs her blood test and immunizations."
Giles nodded mutely. He hadn't really paid much attention to all of that when Buffy told him; he had been too pre-occupied with packing hospital bags and planning out her future training.
"She's a pretty girl. Good lungs, too." The nurse paused. "I heard about your wife. I'm sorry."
"So am I." Giles looked back at Sarah. "Can I go in and hold her?"
"Of course. Why don't I go in and get her for you? She loves to be walked."
As Giles carried the baby up and down'the hospital hall, he formulated a plan. He would not waste a moment leaving town. As soon as the baby was released he would put her in'the car and drive as far as he could. There would be no stopping at home for their belongings, there would be no goodbyes. He would take no chances.
"You," he whispered to his child. "Have quite a life ahead of you. I know you'll be up for it. You'll have your mother's strength, your mother's heart."
His daughter yawned, but otherwise seemed to agree with what her father was telling her.
"You will end the darkness."
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