Three months later
Xander walked into the living room where Dawn was doing the first of her senior-year homework and Buffy was curled up in an armchair reading a book.
“I’ve got a message here from Wood and F… uh, Wood and Rae,” he announced, a little confused.
Buffy looked up with a look on her face that suggested she felt likewise. “Wood and who?”
“Rae,” he repeated. “Faith’s changed her name to avoid the police, apparently, and we should all call her Rae now.”
Buffy wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t really think her to be the ‘Rae’ sort of person.”
Xander shook his head. “No, me neither. But apparently we’ll soon be calling her Rae Wood, because she and Robin are engaged.”
Dawn looked up from her homework and sprang to her feet. She loved good news, especially lately. “Are you serious? Like, actually serious?”
Xander smiled. “Actually completely.”
She made a noise that said she was thrilled and threw her arms around Xander’s neck. “Oooh, that’s so great!” she squealed.
Buffy stood too, smiling. “I think this calls for a celebration.”
Dawn nodded. “Great. I’ll stop doing my homework, and I’ll go up to my room and call Becka. That sounds like ample celebration to me. You guys can do whatever,” she said as she hurtled up the stairs.
Xander grinned after her and turned to Buffy. “She’s adjusting well.”
Buffy nodded. “Yeah, she is. Two days at her new school and she’s already got a best friend to call.” She blinked and seemed to be thinking about moving, but settled instead for crossing her arms. “So… how should we celebrate?” she asked him.
He thought for a second. “Well, I guess we’d better call Willow and Kennedy. They’d want to know. Maybe we could throw a Happy Engagement party for Rae Wood despite the fact that she’s in New York and we’re in Cleveland.”
Buffy smiled at Xander and then looked at her feet. “Or you and I could just stay here and have a glass of champagne or something,” she suggested quietly. She waited a few moments for a response, and when she didn’t get one she looked up at Xander with mild concern, worried that she’d tried too soon. She wasn’t over Spike, and she knew Xander was nowhere near over Anya, but… they liked each other. It sounded like a junior-high thing, and it almost dated back that far, but that’s the way it was.
But to her surprise, he wasn’t searching for an excuse. He was just thinking and weighing his options. Soon he nodded and smiled at her, turning to fetch glasses and a bottle of champagne they always kept for such occasions. She sighed quietly in relief and turned most lights off. The glare from her reading lamp was harsh and unnecessary in the midst of champagne. It was too much of an elegant drink not to be accompanied by low lamp.
Xander reappeared from the kitchen with a pair of appropriate glasses and the chilled bottle. She didn’t ask how he chilled it; he was Xander. He’d have done it somehow. He opened the bottle ceremoniously, poured them both a glass, and raised his portion of the bubbly in the air.
“To that scoundrel Robin and his blushing bride-to-be,” he said, trying to ignore the image of Anya in her gorgeous if a bit silly wedding dress that sprung to mind the second he said that. “Though, I imagine that Faith will be neither blushing nor wearing a traditional wedding dress.”
“Well, here we were thinking that she wasn’t a Rae-type person,” Buffy teased.
Xander smiled. “Granted, that.” He took a sip and made a face, putting the glass down on the table. “I still hate champagne. One time as a kid I was forced to drink it and I thought it tasted like… unpleasantness.”
Buffy winced likewise at the beverage. “I always thought that once I was old like my mom I might like it. Now, here I am, sitting pretty at twenty-two and I still don’t like the stuff.”
“Aw, twenty-two’s hardly old, Buff. You don’t even have wrinkles yet.”
The Slayer smiled. “Yeah, but my fighting’s not what it used to be. Maybe I’m just missing Giles or… hitting a rut, not getting a stride. Vampires, no problem. Anything else comes at me I might have to duck and/or run away.”
Xander grinned. “Well, cool. Run to the nearest cave and Dawn and I will come visit you often. Bring you table scraps and the like; you’ll be a happy little Caveslayer.” His face became serious. “But really, Buffy, are you sure you’re just not strong the way you used to be because there are so many of you sharing the power now?”
Buffy frowned. “Actually, I hadn’t thought of that.”
Xander nodded. “Don’t worry about it. Either you’ll get it back, or you won’t. Besides, the thing you might need to duck and/or run away from won’t seem such a problem if you’ve got me at your side. Or Willow. Or, better yet, Kennedy. Two Slayers, and the thing coming at you will be the one ducking and running.”
Buffy smiled and turned her head sideways. “Xander: Man of Inspiration,” she…uh, titled.
Xander grinned sheepishly and looked down at the drink in his hand. “Well, I’ve gotta have some superpower; I’ve always been the one left out. I should’ve been a warlock,” he said mock-regretfully, snapping his fingers. “Then Willow could have been Woman of Inspiration. She’d like that.”
The pair fell silent. Buffy watched Xander be sad for a second. He sipped his drink again despite his outward dislike for the beverage and winced. He looked up and caught Buffy staring. She didn’t look away, and he held her gaze for a few seconds. More than that, actually. They both sort of lost track of time. Finally Xander looked back down at his drink and slugged it down all at once, choking and sputtering on the taste.
“Buffy, we’ve been really close lately, what with you helping me with the Anya thing and the whole, me living in your house deal. I get that you’re interested. Four years ago I would have been ecstatic; I’d have jumped around and done a jig and listened to my Music of Pep instead of the Music of Pain previously acknowledged with your existence and your lack of same in the love portion of my life. But now I’m not ready. I lost the love of my life. I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the same way I loved Anya. I’ve always been at least a little interested in you, Buffy; you’re strong and beautiful and funny and intelligent and muscular in areas I experienced once through our mutual friend Rae. There has never been a time in which I haven’t thought, ‘If I were engaged to Buffy, would I have been able to go through with it?’ or ‘What if I was the Angel in her life? What if our love was the one that wouldn’t ever go away?’ But it’s all fantasy.
“I love you, Buffy. You’ve been my best friend since Will went off the deep end, and I appreciate it so. I guess I love you in more ways than just that one, but right now that’s all I can follow. Give it time. I’ll let you know when I’m ready, just in time for you to let me know that you were done being ready a while ago. It’ll be fun, just like old times. I’ll break out the Music of Pain and everything.” He smiled at the Slayer and got up off the couch.
“Wait, where are you going? Can’t we just… sit for a while?”
Xander’s smile widened. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to get some liquor that a) actually tastes good, and b) allows us to get extremely drunk much more easily. You did promise, remember?”
Buffy grinned. “I wouldn’t forget a promise like that. Just let me go inform Dawn of our alcohol escapades and I’ll meet you back here in one minute.”
Xander’s face turned serious as Buffy walked past him and smiled. No hard feelings. He’d said what he’d needed to. It was all right. “Tomorrow I’m going to actively start looking for an apartment, Buff. I think it’s best we… keep our distance.”
Buffy looked at her feet, but soon nodded. “I concur.” She grinned. “You’ll let me know?”
Xander smiled back and nodded. “I will.” He watched the Slayer mount the stairs and closed his eyes, so content for the moment. He was still in love with Anya; that may not ever go away. But he also still loved Buffy, and she was showing signs of the same that had been there for a little over three months now. He could wait a little longer.
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