Okay, I have never HATED Riley. I've just never particularly liked him either, for the simple reason that he was boring (and he wasn't Angel). He was "the clean Marine," as Faith called him. The soldier guy who obeys orders. And then he stopped obeying orders, but it still didn't make him very interesting. But enough talking about him being boring...I've discovered that season 4 Riley grows on me. I quite like him in some parts (mind you, he still drives me crazy in other parts--the guy drives for fun; how lame is that?). In season 5, well, I just feel sorry for the guy.
But anyway....Riley's relationship with Buffy. Angel's Shadow said that she thought Riley came too soon after Angel, and that it didn't make sense for Buffy to be in a serious relationship at that time (sorry if I missed the point, this is the idea I got from your post). To me, it seems like that was the point. Riley was safe, even when he turned out to be in the Initiative. He was still as normal as she was likely to get, and he wasn't the type to go evil or leave her for her own good. And she didn't totally commit herself to the relationship because she was subconsciously afraid of being burned. As Xander said in Into the Woods, she subconsciously made him the Rebound Guy (I'm ignoring the other part in which he says Riley's the once-in-a-lifetime guy, 'cause come on, that's Angel, or at least Spike...so what if they're vampires?). So basically, I think what I'm trying to say is that the Ruffy ship was dull because Riley was Buffy's extended (and failed) attempt to rebound from Angel.
Sorry if that didn't make much sense...I'm operating on very little sleep here.
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