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Buffy The Vampire Slayer > BtVS - Season Unknown
The Xander Gander by slayerfest
[Reviews - 3]
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Jesus bananas. I get into the library this morning and Buffy still isn’t back. I go to rescue her and everyone except Willow argues with me. Including Giles.
Does no one like Buffy? I thought we were all agreed on the matter that Buffy is a good person to have around. Apparently not.
So right about then Buffy walks through the door, perfectly humanitized. She’d been “hiding in the sewers” last night and is currently looking for Angel because “she hasn’t seen him” since they "split up in the sewers” to “hide from the Judge”.

I tell her that Willow and I were about to go save her. She brushes it off. Apparently she doesn’t care that Giles wouldn’t come to her aid if she was in mortal danger.

So, not only are both Spike and Drusilla alive, but the judge is all assembled now. Apparently he looks like a great big smurf. Now that is something I would personally like to see. Well, just as long as I wasn’t on the receiving end of a de-humanitizing glance. Though I do get those often from Cordelia, and I manage.

Oh, God. Willow. She caught Cordelia and I making out in the stacks. She got all upset and ran away. I haven’t seen her since. I just hope she’s… well, she’ll be all right. Eventually. Hopefully.

*LATER…*

So it turns out my skepticism of Buffy’s whereabouts last night were well deserved.
She was out having a night of pelvic fun at Angel’s house.
Now he doesn’t have a soul anymore.

Why did no one listen to me when I said that relationship was doomed?

I feel like I should be happy. I mean, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for, right? Buffy can’t be with Angel anymore. I should be rejoicing or doing the snoopy dance or something. Xander Harris Gets Another Chance. Front page, headline news.

She was so upset about it. The only thing I feel is pity for Buffy and hatred for Angel.
Or, Angelus. Apparently he’s Angelus now. I wondered why Spike called him that the one time when Angel tried to use me as bait.
Angelus is actually a pretty stellar name. Now, if he had a name like that when he was good, I could understand Buffy’s overwhelming desire to be a part of his life. “My boyfriend’s name is Angelus” sounds one hell of a lot cooler than “My boyfriend’s name is Angel”.

Shut up, Xander.
Okay.

So Angelus comes to school, tries to kill Willow. Jenny and I end up saving her. Buffy comes and goes and cries and Giles doesn’t get it.
I construct a plan to kill the Judge involving my new-found army training. I grab Cordelia and try to break into the army base. Some guy interrupts us by asking us who we are and what we’re doing.
I totally impressed Cordelia when I told him off.
Oh, yes.

So we grab a rocket launcher and give it to Buffy for her birthday. She goes and explodes the Judge, leaves us to clean him up for her, and she goes to kill Angel.
She can’t do it.
I’m not sure I can blame her.
But I’ll pretend like I blame her just to maintain my petty façade. It’ll make Cordy happier.

I kept the rocket launcher.
Well, no, okay, I’ll return it to the army base tomorrow.
Or maybe the next day. I might be busy tomorrow.
Maybe I’ll just wait for the weekend.


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