Father & Mother.
The next day Joyce came on her own to pick me up. I didn't even had to send a lettre. I guess she knew that I wanted to know more, wanted to be with my mother as much as I can.
The sisters at the orphanage are still acting strange around me. I can't help but wonder what that's all about. But aside from that, this was a good day, I learned a lott about my father, and mother. Not as much as I would like to know, but it will do for now.
"Hi" my mother said.
When I saw her, I ran to her and gave her a hug, and I called her mother.
She gave me a hug back, and smiled. I'm beginning to understand that she loves me as much as I love her. And I think she had a pretty good reason to give me up. But untill I know what the reason was, I'm not gonna show my feelings to much anymore. Cause maybe she really didn't want me. But like I said, I don't think that.
We sat down and didn't talk for a while. Then I started asking quistions about my father.
"What did my father do for a living ?"
She looked at me, and I looked at her. "He was a college student, and he helped people in need."
He was a college student ? I thought to myself. Then, how old were they when they got me ?
She knew that I was thinking that, and I didn't even had to ask her.
"I was 18 years old when you were born. So was your father."
"So young ?" was all I could think of at the moment.
"Yes, there were special circumstances when your father and I.... eum... when he and I..."
She was afraid to say it with me sitting there, so I said it.
"When you had sex ?"
"When you say i like that, yes. I was 17, and 18 when you were born."
"And my dad was the same age as you ?"
"Yes." she looked away for a few seconds, and then looked back at me.
"When was his birthday ? " I asked her.
"We never discused birthdays and stuff, cause if anything were to happen to eather ofus, it would hurt to much every day he would a year older. So, we never told each other."
It was sad to hear that, that I would never know my fathers birthday, so if I couldn't know that, I wanted to know wich day he died. I wish I'd never asked that.
"When did he die ?"
"You don't wanna know that." she said and she wanted to get up and walk away, but I stopped her.
"When did he die, mother ?"
And of course, when she heard me say mother, she told me.
She took my hand. "Sandy..." she said, and looked me in the eye. "He died on the 10th of August 2006." she said.
I lett go of her hand, and stood up, I was so upset and angry to hear he died on the day I was born. So, I didn't believe her.
"That can't be! You're a liar! You just want to blame me for his death, wich you probably caused!"
The moment I said that, she started to cry, and she stood up as well.
She came closer, and looke me in the eye again.
"You have no idea how he died. But if you ever, and I mean ever again say that I caused his death, then you will never step foot in this house again!"
I started to cry too. And then I ran of.
She called for me to stop, say she was sorry, I didn't want to listen.
She didn't cause my fathers death, I probably did, because I was born...
Because I was born, my father died, and my mother was burned for life...
I must be really evil to cause such pain...
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