Willow and Oz walked into the library after school the next day to see Giles rushing in and out of his office with miscellaneous things in his hands.
“What’s up, Giles?” Willow asked.
“New lead,” he said distractedly.
Willow looked down at her shoes. “Giles?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t you think we’ve kinda… exercised all the leads?”
Giles finally stopped what he was doing and looked at Willow. “What are you saying?”
Willow smiled sadly. “You know what I’m saying.”
Giles stood for a moment more. “No,” he said, and continued bustling about.
“Giles!”
“What?” he said shortly and stared at Willow sternly.
“I’m sorry Buffy left, Giles. Really, I am. I don’t understand it and I don’t like it. I wish more than anything that Buffy was here. But she isn’t. And we looked for her. We looked everywhere. Up and down the country… we checked in Canada and Mexico. But Buffy is not going to be found unless she wants to be. I think…” Willow looked up at the Watcher and he saw that she had tears in her eyes. “I think we should just let her be elsewhere. Let’s just leave her alone.”
Giles stopped what he was doing and sat down. “Willow,” he said slowly, “I wish to God that was possible. But she just disappeared. We assume she sent Angel to hell, wrote a note to her mother, packed her things and left. But there is still that possibility that she went to hell with him.”
“And wrote a note to her mum beforehand? Xander saw Buffy right before the battle, Giles.”
“After she was expelled. After the fight with her mother. After she knew what was expected of her if the ritual was completed. It’s possible.”
“There’s barely a chance!” Willow said loudly.
“There’s enough of one!” Giles shouted back. “You may be willing to give up, but I am not.”
“It’s tearing you apart,” Willow pleaded.
“Less than it would if I accepted defeat in this matter.” Giles got up from the chair he was sitting in and resumed moving throughout the library, completely ignoring Willow’s tears and Oz’s attempt to quell them. They sat down and eventually Giles came out of his office with a coat and a suitcase.
“I’ve asked Faith to patrol, so you needn’t do it. I trust you can run the show should something arise while I’m gone?” he asked Willow.
“As always,” she whispered. Giles nodded and turned to go. “Giles?” Willow called after him. “Good luck.”
Giles looked back and smiled kindly at the redhead and pushed past the crowds in the hallway.
***
Buffy tried to make it the four blocks as quickly as possible. Slayer or not, downtown L. A. at night is no picnic, she thought to herself.
And once again she found herself wondering what the gang was doing. She was keeping an eye on the Sunnydale obituaries to make sure none of them were getting killed. What she’d do if they were she didn’t know, but she didn’t want to think it through.
As much as she hated to admit it to herself, all people aside, she missed Slaying. There were times over the summer that she wanted to just get out of bed and hunt down a vampire. It’d be a challenge, what with no hellmouth around or anything.
But then she thought better of it. She left Sunnydale to escape everything. She was done with Slaying. If it led her to another Angel-like situation, then she’d stay minimum safe distance away from it.
That time in Hell with Lily had almost brought her back into it. Beating up that Ken guy made her feel better. But she realized after a minute that she was totally kidding herself if she thought she was ever going to go back to Sunnydale.
Buffy walked into the diner, automatonically checking in and picking up an order without interrupting her thought process. I mean, she could slay vampires. She could probably find them and it would make the world a better place.
But that might lead to sightings, which might indicate her location to Giles. With the Ken thing, it was a closed deal; the battle took place in hell and the people who got out had the sense not to say anything. But if she went out and slew vamps in public, it could lead to Giles finding her. If he was even still looking.
Why don’t you want him to find you? she asked herself. You want to go home, you just don’t have a reason to.
I have a perfectly legitimate reason! argued Buffy’s other piece of mind. Sunnydale is an unhappy place to be.
You’re not happy here.
Shut up. I get your point. I just… can’t go home. There! I can’t go there. It wouldn’t be right.
Buffy shook her head to stop the mental arguing. It was starting to addle with her mind. All this thinking about Sunnydale and the life she had made her think she saw Giles standing at the door to the diner.
And there he was again. With… a suitcase. And a disbelieving expression on his face.
“Hello, Buffy.”
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