I don't own the Josh whedon characters. Nor do I own any of the music of the Black Crows (even though
I wrote all the songs on Shake your money maker. You know the truth Robinson Brothers, and one day,
the world will to.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Welcome Whats up folks, Axel here. Depite haveing not been seen for many years, Oz has remained one of
the most popular Whedonverse characters. Tonight, he's agreed to talk to us, and let us know what he's
been up to.
AXEL.
Thanks for coming by man.
OZ.
Sure.
AXEL.
What can we say, people love you, and want to know what you've been up to.
OZ.
Really, Hu.
AXEL.
So, maybe you could tell them.
OZ.
Maybe.
AXEL.
Um, now would be good.
OZ.
Ok.
AXEL.
Ok, this is an interview your suppose to talk.
OZ.
OH, sorry, I really don't talk much.
AXEL.
Ok, lets try some questions. Willow, she broke you, heart, with Tara. But to be fair, you broke her
heart first. After all this time, where do you two stand.
OZ.
Well, we've made peace. I'll always love her, but as a friend, and as long as she's happy, so am I.
AXEL.
So you've kept in touch with her.
OZ.
Ya, She's dating some new girl, Kentucky, or something.
AXEL.
Your saying you haven't met her new girlfriend?
OZ.
Not really.
AXEL.
Well this tape we have, says something different, roll it.
Willow, on Tape.
I'm so gald we had a chance to talk, Oz. I really want us to be friends.
OZ, on tape.
Of coarse were friends. You'll always be My Willow.
Willow.
I better get a hug before you leave, Mister.
As they hug, Kennedy walks in.
KENNEDY.
What the fuck is this?
WILLOW.
Calm down baby, we're just talking.
KENNEDY.
Didn't look like talking to me. What are you doing with my girlfriend, dogboy.
OZ.
I'm talking to her, thats it.
KENNEDY.
Do you group you guy friends like that?
OZ.
It was just a hug. Whats you problem, Dikezilla?
KENNEDY.
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? (Kennedy knocks Oz across the room)
WILLOW.
Knock it off, do you have to overreact to everything? This is worse than when you mouthed off
, On that stupid Axel show.
AXEL.
HEY!
OZ, on tape.
(Oz changes into a werewolf, and jumps on Kennedy, and they start fighting, and destroying the
house, in the process.
WILOW.
Hey, stop it. No, not the China (Glass breaking) Oh. Not the couch (ripping sound) I just bought
that. NO STAY AWAY FROM MY CLOSET (crashing, riping noise) all my clothes. That's it, I'm a Nun,
I can take men, or women, anymore.
AXEL.
So, you and Kennedy, not friends?
OZ.
Not really, but thanks for showing that, on national TV.
AXEL.
Oh, Your welcome.
OZ.
GGRRUU.
AXEL.
OK, on to other business. I understand your married now?
OZ.
Yes, we've been married three years now. Sorry ladies. If it's OK, I'd like to bring her out?
AXEL.
Hey, Your Gwen Radien. Your Oz's wife?
GWEN.
That's right. (to Oz) Hey sugarbear (kissing Oz.).
AXEL.
So the chip is still working? I have a question about that, does it cause you to lose your powers,
Or, Do you still have them, but you can control them.
GWEN.
(touching Axel, and giving him a little shock) What do you think?
AXEL.
WOA! I guess I have my answer.
GWEN.
By the way, I saw what that little bitch Kennedy, did to my sugarbear. And the only reason she's
walking around, is my Oz, is a gentalmen.
It's bad enough that we had to hear her piss, an moun, on this show a few weeks ago, (Waa, everyone's
mean to me. Waa, Nobody likes me. Poor little me.) But now this.
OZ.
Baby, let's not even go there, it's not worth it.
GWEN.
Sorry baby, but I have to do this. Kennedy, I am challening you, one, on one, to a fight, on this show.
Now, it's not going to be mud wrestling, so don't get excited. But if you have the guts, I will give you
the ass kicking you so richly deserve.
AXEL.
Alright, we have a challenge! We do are best to get Kennedy's response, well let you know. Now back
to you two. I understand you have a kid?
OZ.
Yes, Daniel Osbourne JR. Had him soon after we were married, Come say hi son.
A little three year old (black) boy comes out.
OZ.
Isn't he a great kid?
AXEL.
Ah, Oz.
OZ.
Everyone, say hi to my son.
AXEL.
we will when he gets out here.
OZ.
what do you mean?
AXEL.
Oz, haven't you ever notice anything unusal about your boy?
OZ.
Unusal, what's unusal?
GWEN.
OK, thanks for having us, time to go.
AXEL.
DAMN IT OZ, YOUR WHITE, GWEN's WHITE,THE KID IS BLACK! ALL IS NOT WELL, IN THE KINGDOM!
OZ.
So what if he's black, you a racist. He's still my son.
AXEL.
Dude, your in some weird denial, I've never even heard of. Hey, we've got a caller.
CALLER.
THIS IS CHARLES GUNN! GWEN, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, HOW COULD YOU NEVER TELL ME! I'M
GONNA TALK TO MY LAWYER! AND OZ, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA.
GWEN.
(A that moment, Gwen puts her hand, on the phone lines, and shorts them) Oh, I think
we lost that call, to bad. Well We need to be going.
OZ.
Why was that guy so mad?
GWEN.
Don't worry about it sugarbear. Let's just go home.
AXEL.
Well, looks like many people's lives have been turned upside down, by tonight's show.
So I did my job. GOODNIGHT.
This is a roundrobin story. Would you like to contribute?
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
