I don't own any of the Joss Whedon characters.
This is only a joke, please don't take it seriously.
Axel here and were still not canceled. For over a centery Spike and Dursila.
had a love that burned through there hearts (and most of europe), but, The Buffy
came between them. Tonight, there hear in the studio, to confront each other.
AXEL.
Welcome both of you, to the show.
SPIKE.
Let's just get this over with, I've got thing to do.
AXEL.
Dru, let's start with you.
Dru.
Your eyes are like the ocean. But the fishies, are wereing little hats,
and singing marching songs.
AXEL.
Uh, Yea whatever. Anyway. So Dru, tell us about life with Spike?
DRU.
Oh, he was a very mean boy. Even before he left me for the Slayer (spits),
He didn't appreciate me. Just ask Miss Edith.
AXEL.
Uh, you mean your doll?
DRU.
She's my spiritual adviser.
SPIKE.
I'm leaving. (gets up to leave).
AXEL.
Wait, you can't leave yet!
SPIKE.
OH come on, I had to deal with this bloody moron, for over a century. I'm done with this
dopey bitch.
DRU.
How dare you speak that way to me? After all I've put up with. You, and your
friends drinking, and parting, at all hours. Sometimes he wouldn't come home for
days, weeks even. And did your head have to come off, and turn into a snake all
the fucking time?
AXEL.
Say, what?
SPIKE.
OH, so it's all my fault? well bitch, I'm not the one who had an affair with the
Immortal.
DRU.
Well, maybe if You, and Angelius weren't always out, I'd have got some loving from
you, and wouldn't have needed the bloody Immortal.
SPIKE.
Well, how the fuck m I suppoed to stand you dopey ass all the time. Hey Axel, what
to here a true story? One day, we're watching the telly. The weatherman, says Chill
outside, and this idiot runs outside, with a bowl, and a spoon.
DRU.
Oh, anyone could make that mistake. Lets talk about how you kepted getting us almost
killed, or how you lost all are money, betting on kittens. Or how you dress as Bea
Arthor During sex!
AXEL.
WHAT!
SPIKE.
Um,Oh, Um, She's just seeing things again.
DUR.
No, I brought a tape.
We see Spike in a gray wig, and dress.
SPIKE (on tape).
Rose, where are you Rose.
SPIKE.
OK, THAT'S NOT ME, I'VE BEEN SET UP!
AXEL.
OK, that was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I think it's time to take a
Call. Hello caller, you on the air.
CALLER.
Yes, I'm an old girlfriend of Spikes, and He made me do that to.
AXEL.
Mama, you sound very familar, do I know you.
CALLER.
NO, Oh, My name is Muffy Winters, you don't know me.
AXEL.
How's Dawn?
CALLER.
Oh, she's doing great, and she, I mean who's Dawn? Got to go, bye.
AXEL.
OK, so far, Dru's a Phyco, and Spike's just sick.
DRU.
Well' you just don't understand, How the troll people, Do there taxes.
AXEL.
Damn, your a crazy bitch.
SPIKE.
Hey, don't talk to her like that. (Spike punches Axel, and sends him flying).
DRU.
That was incredible.
SPIKE.
I couldn't let him talk to you like that. Dru I've been a fool. No Salyer could
every replace you. Take me back, and you'll never regret it.
DRU.
My boy's come home to me (Spike picks her up).
SPIKE.
My Black Beauty.
They leave the studio, and Axel get's up.
AXEL.
Well, He's just lucky he left. He did leave right? Good, because I totaly would
have kicked kis ass. I mean I'm a streetfighter, I'm bad. If he hadn't sucker
punched me, I would have layed the smackdown.
OFF SCREEN.
He's coming back.
AXEL.
WHERE! That's not funny. Your fired, whoever did that. I could take him.
I may not have done a very good job wrting Dru (she's hard) but I thought I could get away with it in a parody.
This is a roundrobin story. Would you like to contribute?
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