GOODBYE
Buffy walked up the long and lonely drive way to the old mansion that Angel had called home for the last couple of years, to say goodbye to her first love. It was going to be hard to move on from this point, as she’d found the last couple of weeks. But she would cope and move on eventually, she had lots of friends to help…and Spike. Not that she would ever forget Angel, she would always love him and he would have a special place in her heart.
She took a deep breath and walked inside, looking around. Everything looked the same…he wasn’t taking most of it except the essentials, leaving all the rest behind, just in case.
“Hey Angel,” Buffy said softly as she walked up to the dark haired Vampire and gave him a hug.
“Hey Buffy,” Angel said quietly, hugging her back.
“I guess you’re all ready to move,” Buffy said sadly, slowly and grudgingly extracting herself from the hug.
“Yeah…I guess I am,” he said putting his hands in his pockets and turning away from her. “I saw Spike yesterday.”
“Really?” Buffy asked, confused. She’d always thought that the two vampires hated each other and didn’t get along. She hoped Spike had fared as well as Angel seemed to have.
“Yeah, we had a good talk,” Angel said quietly. Then turned around to meet her gaze, and adding with a faint smile, “Though at a certain point the talking was done with fists.” He admitted rubbing his jaw.
“Angel…” Buffy said disapprovingly and raised an eyebrow.
“I know, I know,” he said grinning now. “But we both aren’t any worst for wear.”
“And what, pray tell me, was this talk all about?” she asked with extra emphasis on the word talk.
“Oh you know. Why was he in Sunnydale? Had he tried to hurt you? Why were you both so friendly all of a sudden? You know the usual,” Angel said with light emphasis on the word friendly.
“You saw us?” Buffy asked, blushing a light pink.
“Yeah you were fighting over his behaviour in a movie,” he said with a faint grin, and for once he realised Spike’s need to smoke. It gave him something to do with his hands; Angel wished that he smoked for the same reason; it was agonizing not being able to touch Buffy.
“Anyway I decided to drop in to talk to my Childe, after all it’s been over fifty years since we last really talked.”
“So do you know everything,” Buffy asked looking deep into the chocolate brown eyes.
“I suppose I do,” Angel replied with a smile. “Though I don’t think they were really the answers I wanted.”
Buffy looked at him quizzically. “Well I found out that I had unnecessarily hurt the woman I loved and caused her to start drinking. And I managed to drive you into the arms of Spike.”
“Why?” Buffy asked puzzled as it dawned on her that he and Spike didn’t talk even though they were Childe and Sire.
“Why what?” Angel asked looking at her
“Why hadn’t you talked for so long?” Buffy asked.
“Well that’s a long story. When I got my soul back I was different, as you know – a real mess, I knew I couldn’t continue the way I had as Angelus so I didn’t go back to Spike, Dru and Darla. I didn’t want them to see me that way, and they wouldn’t have wanted me in that state anyway, or would have tried to kill me.
I just saw it as my responsibility to leave, that I was doing the right thing. But I realise now in hindsight that I didn’t give them the choice, especially Spike.” Angel said pausing slightly to look at Buffy and to take an unneeded breath.
“I realise now that Spike was always different; he kept a part of his humanity. Shown countless times to me when he selflessly loved and looked after Dru, he possibly would have felt the same for me as well if I had given him the chance. Anyway, consequently when I left he felt that I didn’t care and I abandoned them without reason. Our misunderstanding cost us our relationship until now when it was resolved.”
Buffy stood there in shock. That had been one of the longest, emotional, non-cryptic speeches she’d ever heard Angel make. “So you’re talking again?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes, though I think it will take more than one chat to fix it,” Angel said with a small smile.
“Well you’re talking at least, that’s good,” Buffy said smiling. Glad that the two vampires were at least civil and semi-getting along at the moment. Especially because they were both so special to her and she had the suspicion that she loved them both.
“Buffy I love you and I will always love you,” Angel said sincerely looking down into her green eyes. “And leaving you is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I will always be here for you if you need me.”
“Oh Angel, I know that and I love you too forever,” she said as she hugged him again tightly. “I know that you don’t want to leave, and I don’t want you to go either, but I know it’s the right thing, at the moment anyway. You have a purpose and you can’t fulfil that if you’re loosing your soul all the time ‘cause we can’t keep our hands off each other,” she added smiling sadly into his chocolate brown eyes.
“Buffy…” Angel started.
“I know,” she said softly and putting her hand up to his face.
“Don’t forget me,” he said as he gave her a small box.
“Never,” she promised as she went on the tips of her toes and their mouths touched for a gentle kiss. After the kiss ended buffy went to open the box, but Angel put his hand over hers.
“Don’t open it until I’m gone,” he said tenderly. “Something to remember me by.” Buffy nodded,
“I’ll miss you,” Buffy said quietly as tears filled her eyes, turning them into pools of wet green.
“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he stared at her memorising every inch of her. “You can always ring me,” he said with a smile.
“I thought you hated telephones,” she said with a grin.
“I do,” he said with a grimace. “But if it means I can still talk to you I’ll learn to live with it.” Buffy smiled and rummaged through her handbag and pulled out a pen and paper; then scribbled down her address and phone number and handed it to him, then took his hand and wrote her phone number on it in permanent ink.
“Now you have no excuse not to keep in touch,” she said teasingly. Then rummaged in her handbag again and pulled out a box and gave it to him. “So you remember me too,” she said simply as he took the box off her and put it in his jacket pocket. Buffy wiped away the tears that had trickled down her cheeks.
“I should go,” he said regretfully and Buffy nodded.
Angel picked up his bag and surveyed the mansion one last time. Then took Buffy’s hand and walked to the doorway. He then closed the door, locked it and pocketed the key and walked slowly away from the mansion to his black convertible.
Angel sensed a restless movement and followed it with his eyes to the right, behind a tree. The blonde shadow, Spike had been watching her all this time. It saddened him that he could not do the same, watch and protect his love, but it could not be. At least, he thought with a faint smile, it was his Childe William that was watching and protecting her.
He could already sense the friendship between them and he had no doubt that it could turn into love if they let it. He looked down at the beautiful blonde and wished them all the luck in the world; at least Spike didn’t have a soul to loose…
Angel lowered his head one last time and put all his love into the kiss. Then whispered into her ear that he loved her, and reluctantly slipped out of her arms and got into the car. Started the engine and drove off waving goodbye, Buffy waved back. At the sight of her against the darkness he had to ignore the urge to turn the car around and never leave her again.
As soon as he knew he was out of sight he pulled over and pulled out the box that Buffy had given him. He opened it and found a letter,
Dear Angel,
I know how hard this is for you because it is hard for me too.
I love you too much to express properly and will until the day I die.
Which knowing how the whole Chosen thing goes might not be long!
Just kidding.
Though on a lighter note you will always have a place in my heart,
My first love.
Again remember me. And how much you meant to me.
Love Buffy.
He leaned his head against the headrest and read it once more and folded it and put it back down. Then he looked in the box and found a small box, he opened it,
Inside against the pure white silk laid two things. The first was a silver heart shaped locket, which had a smiling Buffy inside and a lock of light blonde hair. The second was a white gold band with small heart and an engraving on the inside,
Angel,
My love is forever,
Buffy.
He sat there holding the gifts and let the blood red tears run down his face. Then he wiped them away and carefully put his treasures aside and started the car again once more and continued on his trip. Content to the fact that he and Buffy would meet again and in the knowledge of their love.
Buffy stood in the driveway watching the headlights fade into the distance, taking her first love with it. When the lights we unrecognisable she looked down and remembered the box in her hand, she sat down and opened it carefully. Inside there was a letter and a smaller box. She opened the letter and it said,
To my Dearest Buffy,
I love you more than anything and I will love you for all eternity.
Please believe me when I tell you that you are special and unique. You are something that one finds once in a lifetime, and only if they’re extremely lucky.
I will always be here for you; all you need to do is ask.
And deep in my heart I hope that we will find each other again.
I hate that I must leave you and I hope you understand that I don’t leave you because I want to, but because I have to.
Remember the memories, our love and me.
All my love,
Angel
Buffy read the letter through once more, tears rolling down her cheeks at the sweet and meaningful lines and knew that she would treasure it forever. She lovingly refolded it and put it back in the envelope and looked down into the box and saw something lying on the bottom.
She lifted the pieces of paper to the light and saw pictures. Which brought tears to her eyes,
They were beautifully drawn pictures by Angel. There were ones of herself, as well as a couple of beautiful composures of her and Angel. Then a couple of pictures of the whole gang, in different levels and lastly one of Spike.
She put them carefully back into the box and onto her lap, and picked up the smaller box and opened it.
Her eyes widened and her mouth shaped a perfect ‘O’ as she looked in the box. Inside on ruby red velvet sat the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was white gold with a perfect heart-shaped diamond; she took it out carefully and saw an inscription on the inside,
Buffy,
My love eternal,
Angel
The tears again flowed down her cheeks and she put the ring on her left hand, then thought for a moment about Spike and put it on her right hand instead. She gathered up the letter, paper and boxes; and walked into the night thinking.
Angel would always be there for her forever like the diamond, but he was the past.
Perhaps Spike could be the future?
The end.
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