TEARS WASH AWAY THE PAIN
Buffy sneaked towards the dark house and climbed the tree outside her window. She looked around and silently opened the window and slipped into the room, giving a sigh of relief to be home and not being caught by her mum. Until she felt a presence behind her and she swung around stake ready,
“Buffy?” came the quiet masculine voice and she lowered her weapon, realising that it was her Angel.
“Angel, what are you doing here?” she asked with a sigh as she sat down on her single bed and snapped the light on, so that she could see the love of her life.
She wondered silently if she was going to get any sleep that night. Probably not, twisting and turning all night seems more on the cards.
“I thought we needed to talk,” he said as he sat next to her, silently taking her all in. The way she looks, her smell and the feel of her, memorising her completely.
“Angel, I don’t know what we can talk about,” she said sadly, looking at him from under lowered lashes.
“Well, I know that you’re upset that I’m leaving,” he started.
“That’s an understatement. I don’t see why you have to leave me! Don’t you love me?” She asked grabbing his cold hands in her own warm ones.
“You know I love you Buffy, but I have to do what I think is best,” he said running a hand through his dark, spiky hair.
“What about me?” she said raising her voice when she realised that her mum was away at an art thing. “Don’t I get a say in MY life?”
“Buffy I only want what’s best for you,” he said quietly. In silent agony from the look of pain and hurt in his true loves eyes.
“But what if you’re what I need Angel? What’s best for me?” she asked pleadingly, staring into his eyes, green into brown.
“Buffy…” he said as he took her face in his hands. “Don’t you know how special you are? You deserve someone so much better than me,” he said quietly as ruby red tears ran down his face, which he brushed away.
“Angel…” she started, but he quietly interrupted her.
“You deserve someone who can marry you, give you children, and walk in the light with you,” he said sadly.
“But Angel, I don’t NEED those things!” she cried as her crystal tears joined his red ones. “All I need is you and your love.”
“If only I could believe that,” he said softly as he lowered his face to kiss her soft lips. “And finally,” he whispered into her ear. “You deserve someone who won’t turn into a soulless monster the next time he experiences a pure moment of happiness. Which can come so easily with you,” he said with a sad smile.
“But Angel…” she started, but he was gone in a flash out the open window. She ran to the window and yelled into the wind, “ANGEL! BUT I LOVE YOU!!” Then she started sobbing in earnest, as she slumped to her knees whispering “But I love you…I love you…love you…you.”
* * *
“What I wouldn’t give to be able to be at home right now,” Buffy whispered softly to herself. Her heart still aching from realising that Angel was leaving and there was probably nothing she could say to make him stay in Sunnydale, with her.
“Buffy! Over here!” Willow yelled loudly to her friend, and waving her to come and join her at the table. Buffy complied, weaving her way between the people and tables. Not noticing the admiring glances she was getting by the surrounding guys.
“Hey Willow, what’s up?” Buffy asked with a genuine smile as she sat down at the table, across from her best friend. “And where’s Xander and Oz run off to?” She asked looking around.
“Oh…they’re off doing guy stuff somewhere, I guess” Willow said unworriedly. “I wanted to talk to you about something and you know how guys can be. Never serious and always joking around, and they have no finesse.” She said with a smile.
“Especially Xander,” Buffy said with a faint smile. “So what was it you wanted to talk about?” She asked, completely aware as to what her red headed friend wanted to know about.
“Buffy…you know I’m here for you, right? You can tell me anything and I won’t judge you,” she said quietly. “After all I’m going out with a werewolf,” she said with a wry smile.
“Yeah I know,” Buffy said seriously, squeezing her friend’s hand.
“So what’s happening between you and Angel? Why’s he leaving?” She asked awkwardly, unsure as to how much her friend wanted to share.
“Um… well we’re sort of having a fight, but we’re not…he’s leaving because he loves me so much… not that it makes sense…I can’t explain it really well and it would be helpful if I understood it myself,” she said with a wry smile. “Would it be okay if I talk to you about this later? Like maybe you come over to my house this afternoon?”
“Sure Buffy,” Willow said with an understanding look. “The guys are back anyway.”
“Hey guys,” Buffy and Willow said in unison. “What you been doing with yourselves?” Buffy asked.
“We were out looking for hot ladies,” Xander said with a grin. “But we’ve found them now so we don’t have to keep looking.”
“Xander you are such a flatterer!” Buffy said with a smile.
“Who me?” Xander said looking at her with an only just suppressed grin. “I never flatter girls, but since your around Buffy I’ll never search again,” he said with a hand pressed against his heart. Buffy rolled her eyes and her laughter rang out.
“Did I ever tell you just how wonderful you are?” she asked.
“Probably, but I never tire of hearing you say it,” he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
* * *
*Knock, knock, knock, knock*
“Coming!” Buffy yelled as she ran down the stairs in a rush and threw open the door. “Hey Willow!” she said throwing the door even wider in a theatrical gesture. “My home is your home.”
“Hey Buffy,” Willow said with a smile. “I brought some…”
“Ice cream!” Buffy yelled as she saw the container. Throwing her arms around her best friend in affection. “How did you know I really needed ice cream…oh, ESPECIALLY double choc fudge ice cream,” she said licking her lips.
“Oh, I don’t know, a guess?” Willow said laughingly. “Also the fact that ice cream helps fix everything, especially a broken heart.”
“My heart’s not broken,” she said with a smile, then added in a whisper, “Not yet anyway.”
“Did you say something?” Willow asked looking up.
“Yeah, I said let’s go sit down and eat some ice cream,” she said with a smile.
“I never say no to ice cream,” willow said with a grin, as they walked into the kitchen to get some spoons.
“Well that’s just as well…I don’t want to get REALLY fat by eating all the ice cream,” Buffy said with a grin as she looked through the draw for some spoons. “We’ll both just get a little fat each instead.
“Well, if you say it like that how can I refuse?” Willow said with a laugh as they both walked back into the lounge room and sat down. Willow looked at her friend from under her eyelashes as she took a spoon of ice cream, unsure as to how to bring up Angel.
“Angel came to see me last night so we could talk and he could explain why he was leaving,” Buffy started, looking down at her ice cream that was melting on the spoon. “He told me that he was leaving because he loved me and he wanted what was best for me,” she said in almost a whisper.
“Oh, Buffy,” Willow softly said as she hugged her friend.
“He said that I deserved better than him,” she continued as a few silent tears slid down her face. “Someone that could walk in the sun with me, marry me and give me children.” Willow didn’t know what to say to her friend to make her feel better about loosing Angel, so she just offered comfort with her arms and soothing noises.
“I tried to tell him that I should have a say in my own life and that those things didn’t matter to me and that I loved him...that was all that matters.” She said with a hollow laugh that made Willow wince with its emptiness. “I mean I’m the slayer it isn’t as if my life is normal now, with my whole duty thing and the short life span expectancy…but he just smiled that smile of his and gave me a kiss.”
Willow looked at her friend as she stared at the ice cream on her spoon and felt like bashing Angel on the head, or staking him soul or not, for what he’d done to her friend. She gently took the spoon from her friend and put it in the carton and held her friend close.
“And most importantly wouldn’t turn into a monster the first bit of happiness he got, and then he just left…” Buffy trailed off, and started sobbing for real. Gut wrenching, heart stopping crying that made you feel like crying too, and Willow held her friend as close as she could, stroking her hair until her friend calmed down.
“Thanks Willow,” Buffy said with a watery smile when the sobs had stopped, as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.
“It’s okay,” Willow said softly and then got an idea. “Do you know what you need to do?” she asked excitedly.
“What?” she asked looking at her friend.
“Come to the Bronze with me and the gang, it’ll be fun and it’ll get you out and about,” Willow said looking hopefully at her friend.
“I don’t think so, I need some time alone…maybe patrol and get some of my unhappiness out on all the bad demon things,” Buffy said. She saw Willow’s face drop, so she forced a smile and said “What about tomorrow night instead?”
“Okay,” Willow said with a grin, then asked seriously, “Are you feeling any better now?”
“Maybe a little,” Buffy said and looked down at the ice cream. “Oh no! My ice cream is melting!” she cried comically. “Quickly Willow eat faster we can’t let it melt!”
“Aye, aye, mi Capitan!” Willow said with a salute.
“Willow in English,” Buffy said with a grin. Willow smiled back,
“I said okay oh wonderful leader,” she said.
“Okay then underling, less talking more eating!” Buffy said eating another mouthful. Willow saluted once more and started eating too, and soon they were giggling and talking about nicer things.
* * *
“Hm… I wonder where the Slayer is.” The blonde vampire asked himself as he walked out of his crypt and started through the cemetery looking for trouble. “I would have thought she would have been here by now…” he mused to himself as he lit himself a cigarette. “She should be at least banging my door down demanding to know again, why I’m here in Sunnydale after she’d told me never to come back,” he said with a smirk.
Mm…he thought to himself, Buffy was the best Slayer he’d met so far and he’d met and killed a few over the years, his leather duster was proof of that. But Buffy was different from the others somehow, she also had guts, spunk, good comebacks and she was a damn good match against him…and it didn’t hurt that she was damn beautiful too. He thought with a grin, and then chastised himself for thinking that way. He didn’t care at all about the Slayer or her good points or how beautiful she was, he told himself as he stubbed his cigarette.
Then his ears perked up and he licked his lips; he could hear a human and they were pretty close, possibly just around the corner. But it sounded, he was almost sure like they were singing some song. Spike shrugged his shoulders; he wasn’t going to debate about his dinner just because they were singing and with that he snuck around the corner.
“Oh shit!” he whispered and went round the corner again. “It’s the damn slayer! What the hell’s she doing acting like my dinner?” he muttered to himself with a growl. He looked around the corner again and almost dropped the lighter he’d been flicking.
“Is she?” he asked himself and looked again. “She is,” he told himself in astonishment. “The little slayers drunk, or at least on her way to being drunk! Doesn’t she know how damn stupid that is?” he asked himself angrily forgetting he didn’t care as he watched the slayer gulp down another mouthful of the alcohol. He was going to teach that damn chit a lesson!
Continued…
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